quote:

So a little backstory.. we've been having some relationship issues lately. I've been feeling frustrated and a little bitter over some things, like being 100% responsible for chores around the house and taking care of our dog, even though we both work the same amount. Also he has a tendency to be just generally disrespectful of me, not considering my opinion when making plans for the both of us, interrupting or outright ignoring me when I talk, putting himself and his hobbies above everything else, including responsibilities.. just generally things that frustrate me. I bring this stuff up mostly because I know I'm already coming from a place where I'm a little bitter and easily irritated at him, so I'm genuinely not sure if I'm overreacting.

So the title issue.. one night last week, I got home from work and he was home already, on his computer, as is pretty typical. He usually gets home between 10 and 20 minutes earlier than me. I get home and immediately start getting stuff done.. letting the dog out, feeding him, starting dinner, starting laundry, etc. I was annoyed already, because it bothers me that I get home and have to go immediately into "get poo poo done" mode, while he comes home and gets straight to fun stuff. But it's the usual, so while I was annoyed, I'm pretty used to just brushing it off. So I finish cooking, I'm not hungry but I plate him up some food and then move on to putting away dishes. Well, I accidentally dropped a cord for our wok behind the fridge (we store it above the fridge), and so I had to pull the fridge out to get it. I got the cord, and decided to vacuum behind the fridge while I'm back there. He was annoyed I was even doing this, because he wanted me to wait for him to help me after he ate. But honestly, I could handle it myself, and I'd rather just get stuff done so I can get to relaxing. I finished up the vacuuming, and went to push the fridge back in place, and it would not go. I tried about 5 times, and I was definitely getting frustrated that it wouldn't go, but I wasn't yelling or swearing or really anything. I probably made a "huff" kind of noise, but that's about it. He told me to stop, wait for him, and I said it's fine, I'll get it, don't worry about it. Which pissed him off so he came into the kitchen and firmly grabbed my wrists and pulled me away from the fridge. He told me again to stop and wait for him, that he didn't like me getting so frustrated, and I again said it's OK, I'd figure it out. Then he sort of wrapped an arm around me, and, still holding one of my wrists, literally shoved/tossed me out of the kitchen, half-yelling at me to just wait, he hates that I get so frustrated, why can't I just listen to him, etc.

It's not the first time he's done something like that, but it was the first time it really upset me. I told him it was unacceptable, and at first he was somewhat apologetic, but basically said if I didn't get so frustrated and just listened, that wouldn't have happened. Eventually he apologized separately from the incident, said he understood it was inappropriate behaviour, and seemed genuinely remorseful. But it's been a while now, and I can't seem to get over it. I wasn't hurt, while firm/forceful he wasn't violent about it. I feel like I have a mini-war waging in my head.. one side says it was nothing, I wasn't hurt, it's not like he hit me, I should be over it. The other side says.. he decided that if you don't listen/obey him, he can use force to make you. And that's scary as hell.

So, I guess what I'm asking you fine people of Reddit is.. am I overreacting, or is this really a big deal?

TL;DR: Husband shoved/tossed me out of the room when I wouldn't listen to his directions regarding a task. I wasn't hurt, and he was forceful but not violent, and was eventually apologetic afterwards. I can't decide if this is a non-issue, or a big red flag. Help?

Leon Einstein posted:

What was the return on the s&p from mid 2008 to mid 2013?

quote:

I (18f) have a 2 year old daughter who lives with me and her father (18m), but spends two daytimes a week with my mom so that I can run errands (such as going to the doctors, doing the food shopping, cleaning the house, etc) and because my mom loves to spend time with my daughter.

My 27 year old sister was visiting my mom's house for the week from out of town. My sister and I have never really got on, when I got pregnant she thought it was the worst thing ever, and insists that children ruin your life and thinks I force my daughter on my mom (despite my mom saying otherwise). So, when I went to drop my daughter off with my mother at around 11am like usual, I was shocked to find my sister there alone. I asked her where my mom was, and she said my mother had gone to the shop and would be home within a few minutes.

My sister has always been very dismissive of me, she hates talking to me and will do anything to shorten the conversation, which is why I think this happened. I huffed because I was catching the bus into town to go the doctors, and it left in a few minutes. My sister rolled her eyes. I asked her if there's any way she would have my daughter for a few minutes just until mom came back, she had just woken up from a nap (she always sleeps in her stroller) so she would be happy to just sit on the sofa and watch TV until mom came back. My sister said 'absolutely not, I hate children and I don't feel comfortable being alone with her'.

Now, I completely understood this and I think she was very clear in saying she didn't want to. I called mom on the doorstep and she said she was just leaving the store now, so she would be max five minutes. My sister rolled her eyes and said 'Fine, I'll take her', and she took the baby out of the stroller. I was in a rush and thought my sister would be able to cope for five minutes. I didn't even think it would be a matter of 'coping' because it was such a short amount of time and the kid was tired.

So I left, and went for the bus. Literally five minutes later I get a call from my mom that they're taking my kid to the ER because she cracked her head open on the living room table. Apparently my sister had left the room for a couple minutes and my daughter wondered where she was going as she is never alone, so she tried to get off the sofa to follow her, and she slipped and whacked her head.

I am absolutely raging at my sister. I don't get how she could be so loving stupid to leave a kid alone. She argues that I 'emotionally manipulated' her into babysitting, which I feel I didn't. She says she thought it would be fine to leave the kid while she made a cup of coffee, but I feel like it's common loving sense not to leave a kid on their own for more than like two seconds.

AITA?

TheScott2K posted:

Wall Street criminals spent a generation convincing people that the stock market was a reasonable place to park funds for short term liquidity and it resulted in people like Leon Einstein

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for leaving my toddler with my 'childfree' sister for a few minutes, resulting in a trip to the emergency room?

Dazerbeams posted:

Eeeeeeh. The sister eventually claimed she could handle a kid for 5 minutes. But ultimately the mother of the child should have had a better read on how safe her own daughter would be in the hands of her sister.

Sagebrush posted:

I'm just trying to figure out how immature this 27 year old woman is that her pregnant-at-15 younger sister somehow outdoes her

luxury handset posted:

the more distressing part of this story is that the sister isn't capable of just sitting down in front of the tv for five minutes

Pinecone Sample posted:

Ain't seen one of these babies in a while

My [F28] MIL won't take my kid's [4] anaphylactic peanut allergy seriously

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

Prudie correctly calls out that the guy is definitely having an affair, but I wish we could pull on that "backpacking abroad alone" thread. Going on extended vacations without your partner is just a stone's throw from asking for an open relationship imo.

quote:

I’ve been seeing him for 6 month, and it is generally great. We have been away on holiday, go out most weeks together and he stays over once to twice a week. He still lives at home and I live alone with my daughter.

On Sunday we were talking about what we would do if we won the lottery and he said he would “buy a house for my mam and my dad and me (meaning himself) to live in” no mention of anything about him and me.

I felt very shocked. I didn’t say anything just looked away from him. Why would he do that? He didn’t seem to realise it was odd to say either. He can be oblivious. He is usually very sweet and caring. This was strange to me.

Now I’m wondering if he will always live at home, does he not see a future away from his parents house? I’m not sure how I feel about it. I want to build a future with someone and share it together. I thought that is what we were doing but now I’m confused.

Should I speak to him about it?

Tl;dr my boyfriend seems to want to live with his parents forever and it makes me feel unimportant and uncomfortable

Dazerbeams posted:

I know this isn't what backpacking abroad is, but I always picture dirty hippy types that have been hiking the trail and haven't seen a bath or shower in weeks.

GaramSoya posted:

Breaking my 15 year lurking history to say: learn some humility, stop being such a cock.

Europe is europe, don't tell us how to refer to our continent you lecturing ignorant bore.

DemoneeHo posted:

Dazerbeams posted:

I know this isn't what backpacking abroad is, but I always picture dirty hippy types that have been hiking the trail and haven't seen a bath or shower in weeks.

charity rereg posted:

My (f30) boyfriend (m29) seems to want to live with his parents forever.

Should I speak to him about it?

TheScott2K posted:

https://twitter.com/chicken__puppet/status/1163803724881416194?s=19

rest his guts posted:

It might be good of you to die

MightyJoe36 posted:

This sounds like when we used to buy savings bonds. Spend $18.75 and in five years it's worth a whopping $25.

Sagebrush posted:

Tbf it sounds like it's not just about paying for dinner, but about paying for literally everything. Right now the mom is upset that they split the bill for food, but after they get married it'll be "why isn't your husband buying you a new car already" and "why isn't your husband paying to send the whole family on vacation" and "why isn't your husband getting that bigger house with extra rooms for us to stay in until we die"

Lucrece posted:

AITA for paying off a bet to shave my head even though my wedding is Saturday? My fiancée, my mom, my future MIL are apoplectic but they don't get the "guy code."

The Bramble posted:

Bonghitz, repost the Timothy The Paper-mache Mouse story when you get to it.

The Bramble posted:

Bonghitz, repost the Timothy The Paper-mache Mouse story when you get to it.

quote:

My boyfriend and I knew each other at the beginning of last year through some volunteer works. At the point, he was with someone else and I was only 17 busy with high school so we barely spoke. The person cheated on him so they split up either early this year/the end of last year, still unsure on this.

So this year, we volunteer for the same organisation again and at an event, he was half drunk asking me when was I going to turn 18. Nothing happened after that, he only started talking to me after my birthday. At this point, I am fully aware that I'm just gonna be a rebound for his previous relationship but I was bored and wanted a short fun time and I gave it a shot anyway.

So, we went on dinner and movie dates, watched sunsets and went to farmer markets, studied, went clubbing and to music festivals etc. together, so basically, we did quite a variety of 'serious' things that a normal couple would do together, not just hook-ups. After 2 months of seeing each other, we went on a double date with his ex (the one that I was originally the rebound for, and yes, they still talk, not that often though) and her new boyfriend. Things went well and we actually became friends. Straight after this, he asked if I want to make it official so we started dating.

Sexually we've got good chemistry. Neither of us are experts on bed, but we both are willing to work around things and are happy with the sex most of the time. Despite the age gap, we are not really at different stages of life. He took a few years off doing vocational training so right now he is still in his first year of uni so I guess we aren't that far away from each other in term of progress in life. We have different life styles though, while my main priority right now is to study and get a good sleep every night, he loves his nights out drinking with friends (he's that popular guy who knows everyone). I do join him and stay the night at his place sometimes, and he is also supportive of me pursuing what I want to. We're not doing anything shady behind each other's back so far.

He introduced me to all his friends, family and workmates (we don't get along quite well though cause the age differences). He's a young professional, and publicly taking me out in my high school uniform got him judged real hard by his bosses and limited him from many opportunities but he did it anyway. He posted me (not specifically stating that we're dating though, just a photo of me and him alone) on his social media which he never did with any of his exes before, well at least ever since I knew him.

He asked me if I mind the age gap, and when being asked back again, he said he doesn't mind it as I am 'legally an adult making my own decision now' and that I'm far too 'mature' for my age. So he is fully aware of the age gap and isn't trying to dodge from the topic, that can be confirmed.

But honestly, is it really normal for guys his age to date teenagers like me? Cause I'll be looking at kids 2 years younger than me and be like that's a whole infant. That being said, if I myself were to date someone 9 years younger than me, I wouldn't be so willingly to make it public. Also, he said this is his first ever serious relationship, the rest were all just hook-ups and friends with benefits which I'm still unsure whether should I believe cause that sounds so unreal and more like a typical fuckboys catchphrase to me. However, one of his friends who he used to hook up with died last month and he almost broke down grieving so that makes me feel like he does have emotions and is serious about relationships?

So the question is, I know for sure I started off as a rebound but, am I still a rebound now? At the beginning I just wanted to have a good fun time with him and didn't care much, but now that I started to get emotionally attached to him, I want to know if he's as serious about me as I am about him. Cause is he isn't, then I can still end the relationship without getting too emotional right now, which I believe would be much harder for me later on. It's just hard for me to believe that a 27 year old can get serious about a relationship with an 18 year old.

This is my first ever relationship so I apologise if I'm being overdramatic etc. as I'm completely new to this.

And if you actually spent your time reading until here, thank you.

TL;DR: I (F18) am unsure if my boyfriend (M27) is serious about our relationship

quote:

Throwaway account for personal reasons. Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m doing this on my phone.

Background info : My (34M) sister (21F) lives with my wife (29F) , my son (nearly 3) and I, since our house is very close to her university. I work 5 days a week, with weekends off and my wife part time. We made an agreement with my sister that during Monday and Thursday she will look after my son from 7:00-16:00, and so she can live with us rent free, and we will pay off 75% her student debt. This was a verbal agreement. She also has a part time job as a waiter but she doesn’t earn much. My parents passed away 4 years ago and since I’m the oldest and most well off financially, I’ve felt a responsibility to help my sister.

On Monday I decided to come home early before my wife (1:00pm) and spend the rest of the day with my son. I come home to find my son all alone in the living room with a bunch a snacks around him. My sister is nowhere to be found. I’m furious with her and after asking my son multiple questions he tells me she left. Apparently this has been going on for months and my sister gives my son candy ( we rarely give it to him) as a bribe him to keep his mouth shut. Around 3:00pm, an hour before my wife comes home, my sister arrives with a bunch of chocolates. She sees me and a look of worry & guilt crosses her face. I’m so angry, that I immediately begin shouting at her for leaving my 2 yr old son by himself. He could have got hurt, there are knives in the kitchen, he could have done anything. All my trust for her is gone. She told me, that she is stressed from school and work and she needs time alone. That is a loving ridiculous excuse for leaving a 2 year old by himself. I tell her to pack her poo poo and leave. She starts apologizing and crying, saying she’ll never do it again. But I can’t trust her ever again, we offered to help her and she abused my generosity like this. I would never forgive her if anything happened to my son.

I tell her that I’m no longer financially responsible for her and to find somewhere else to live. She eventually goes to her friends house and I make sure she no longer has access to my bank accounts. I now refuse to pay anymore for her student debt (she still has 30k left, I’ve paid off 15K). My wife also agrees with my decision. However my other siblings are spamming my phone with texts saying I’m in the wrong and im an rear end in a top hat. I feel bad that she is by herself since my other siblings still have debt of their own, and really has no one to go to. However she made her decision to go behind my back.

Extra Info: My parents died in a car crash 4 years ago, and my sister was with them. She was the only one who survived and was 17 at the time. She was in the hospital for months recovering. She has ptsd from the accident and is still in therapy. She also has depression and attempted suicide 3 times when she was 18. Thankfully she is doing well, but my siblings worry that she will relapse and attempt suicide again.

quote:

For Christmas I bought my boyfriend (lived together 3 years) tickets to his favorite band, they're 10 hours away so I figured I'd talk to him about planning a week long road trip ending in the show, he was down. A road trip like this has been my dream for a long time, my boyfriend on the other hand could live without it but is still excited. He's beyond excited for the show.

I decided that since it was my idea and I bought the tickets, I will cover 100% of the cost, roughly $3000. I asked only that he save enough to cover his usual rent and bills after the week off work and he agreed. Note that we split finances 50/50 and make the same amount of money.

Trip is in 3 days, everything booked, my money is ready and we've taken the time off. Boyfriend has saved $0 and doesn't even have the rent this month. I don't know what happened and "neither does he". He won't take his vacation time to cover the money because he plans to take 2 weeks paid time off in December to play video games.

So, my dream is probably out of reach now despite working my butt off at a job I hate to save for this trip. I planned everything to work perfectly and yet it didn't.

Is it my responsibility to pay his part since the trip was my idea or should I ask him to take out his vacation? Is it too late for that? Can I even be upset or did I bring this on myself? Just sad and looking for advice. Thanks.

Tldr: boyfriend didn't save for his half of vacation coming up in 3 days, should I be upset?

LadyPictureShow posted:

Am I (F18) my boyfriend (M27)'s rebound?

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (22f) boyfriend (m25) didn't save for his part of our vacation, which is in 3 days

goethe.cx posted:

This one strikes me as less “predator” and more “manchild”

BONGHITZ posted:

hello

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Much too wordy, but drat on the mark,

/r/relationships: Boyfriend has saved $0 and doesn't even have the rent this month. I don't know what happened and "neither does he".

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Much too wordy, but drat on the mark,

/r/relationships: Boyfriend has saved $0 and doesn't even have the rent this month. I don't know what happened and "neither does he".

quote:

I agree, my trip savings were separate from my actual savings (for a house next year) so it's not that I couldn't afford it, we had it planned out. I just didn't realize he wasn't holding up his end this whole time.

quote:

Initially it was planned that he also pay for his own food since he eats a lot, but we cut it down to just rent a few months ago when he only had $300 saved. He since spent those savings on unknown stuff

quote:

He would be really heartbroken if I left without him and it wouldn't quite be the same for me, but yes he's very bad with money

BONGHITZ posted:

hello

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)