/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Frog Act posted:

Live in boyfriend [25M] is unemployed, broke and addicted to gaming, I [19F] am fed up and frustrated.

[19F] living with sort of loser boyfriend [25M] and his amazing family. how can I leave?

boyfriend [25M] not interested in having sex or going down on me [21F]

AITA when I ask for my bf to drive me to work/the bus stop when I pay for most of his gas?

Boyfriend [25M] makes comments about my/our weight knowing I [20F] am in recovery for Bulimia

I mean, I guess his supreme lazyness means he won't even muster up the energy to choke her during sex is kind of a positive.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 16:57

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:34

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

goethe.cx posted:

So her boyfriend doesn�t age, but her age oscillates forward and backward. Wild, I wonder what curse got put on them

I saw a profile like that before. Over half a dozen stories explaining in gratuitous detail how awful her boyfriend was and asking for advice to save their relationship, but without consistency in ages. I'm guessing a weird troll who wants to see what kind of advice gets given? It's a strange motivation.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 16:58

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

That woman has no loving clue how old she is.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 16:58

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

chitoryu12 posted:

Fight Man has tried to find love!

AITA for not paying for the girl I was on a date with strictly because of her political views?

Well that woman is clearly insane.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:04

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Frog Act posted:

Live in boyfriend [25M] is unemployed, broke and addicted to gaming, I [19F] am fed up and frustrated.

[19F] living with sort of loser boyfriend [25M] and his amazing family. how can I leave?

boyfriend [25M] not interested in having sex or going down on me [21F]

AITA when I ask for my bf to drive me to work/the bus stop when I pay for most of his gas?

Boyfriend [25M] makes comments about my/our weight knowing I [20F] am in recovery for Bulimia

So has she dated a physically different but emotionally similar 25 year old guy every year for three years? Or is she dating a man who has unlocked the secrets of immortality, forever maintaining his age at 25?

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:10

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The boyfriend has a portrait in the attic that grows ever more genteel, sociable, and respected within the community.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:12

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for killing a butterfly in my office that one of my co-workers believed it was her dead mother?

This is totally the start of an office horror movie. He's going to be strapped into a giant wire frame shaped like a butterfly and burned to death by cultists

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:13

Willfrey: Jul 20, 2007; Why don't the poors simply buy more money?; Fun Shoe

Chomp8645 posted:

So has she dated a physically different but emotionally similar 25 year old guy every year for three years? Or is she dating a man who has unlocked the secrets of immortality, forever maintaining his age at 25?

Live with parents, quit your day job, game all day and drink on the regular, neglect your girl, and maybe you too can be ageless

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:26

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Willfrey posted:

Live with parents, quit your day job, game all day and drink on the regular, neglect your girl, and maybe you too can be ageless

All the drinking preserves your insides!

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:27

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

Embalming my organs to own the Mormons

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:28

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for killing a butterfly in my office that one of my co-workers believed it was her dead mother?

Iirc the butterfly thing is from Mexico with the monarch migration.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:30

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Vim Fuego posted:

This is totally the start of an office horror movie. He's going to be strapped into a giant wire frame shaped like a butterfly and burned to death by cultists

Oh good, a happy ending.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:31

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Motronic posted:

Seriously. There is this butterfly place in key west my wife and kids wanted to go to and I'm like "yeah, sure....whatever" and I started walking through and a horde of butterflies basically accosted me and I'm like "okay, this place is basically magic I now love it". Who hates butterflies? It's not possible.

My hometown was under one of those big butterfly migrations (as is most of the Southwest) and one neighbor put out some bushes specifically for them. It's so cool to walk to the park and see a bush covered with flapping flowers.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:40

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Barudak posted:

The boyfriend has a portrait in the attic that grows ever more genteel, sociable, and respected within the community.

lol

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:41

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

That dude is an immortal catch. She better marry him ASAP before some other woman without a shred of self esteem steals him away.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:44

Wurzag: Jun 3, 2007; Bad Moons, Bad Moons, wot ya gonna do?

I like how fight man has met his nemesis in someone who can't win a political fight in contrast to a physical one.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:51

Elderbean: Jun 10, 2013

Tabletop games are a goldmine of weird broke brained dudes.

Nice Guy DM Sexually Harasses Me

quote:

Note: Nice guy doesn't literally mean a nice guy. It's slang for someone that acts like they're nice for female approval, and then flips on you if rejected.

This one isnt too long, but tldr at the bottom.

I'm a female college student. I'm also a lesbian, and all of my friends are aware of this. My now-former DM, however, did not care.

We lived on the same floor of our dorm and met up in the rec room every week to play our campaign. Things went smoothly at first, and at the beginning I was friends with the DM and would hang out with him and other friends around campus.

Then things got weird. He started showing me his giant hentai folders full of characters from popular shows, and he started telling me all about how much he loves big breasts and is turned on by succubi. That same week, he started a new campaign and insisted that I make my PC a succubi-- with huge breasts, he elaborated. I was obviously creeped out and refused.

Like all nice guys, if you're even remotely friendly with them, they assume that it's because you must have a thing for them. The next week, he came to me telling me that he was in love with me. I told him that I didn't feel that way for him, and reminded him that I liked girls. Then I left and stopped talking to him.

The next day, he left a note on my door asking me to talk to him in his room for closure. That didn't sound like a good idea, so I threw out the note and didn't talk to him. He kept messaging me to ask if I got the note. I ignored him, and then he began asking people to go to my door and let me know he wanted to talk to me. I told every one what was going on and they stopped bothering me.

Later, we went to Comic Con for a dorm field trip, and he wouldn't leave me alone. I got frustrated and told him that I needed alone time. I didn't feel comfortable around him. Later, he got all depressed and PMd me on Discord (while we were still at Comic Con) to ask me AGAIN if I had feelings for him. I let him know my answer wouldn't change.

Later on, he started going around telling our friends that I "led him on", and they all just laughed at him and told him I was a lesbian. Afterwards, he was kind of ostracized and people stopped joining his DnD campaigns because he would bring me up every session to complain, or ask people about me and my business.

One friend mentioned to him that I had a crush on a girl from another dorm building, and he PMd him, asking him to jeopardize things for me because he didn't want to see me with anyone else.

News of that occurrence went around and anyone that still had some respect left towards him immediately lost what was left of it. I didn't go back to the university this year, so that I could do community college for a while instead. Apparently he was so pissed off about me that he didn't go back this year. No one knows what he's doing now.

Tl;Dr: DM gets creepy obsessive with me, I reject him, he gets pissed off and ruins his own reputation until people stop showing at his campaign sessions.

Edit: He would also brag to people that his therapist diagnosed him as a sociopath. That was another big red flag.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:53

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Frog Act posted:

My (44/m) family was uninvited from a trip because my son (14/m) is autistic.

UPDATE: My (44/m) family was uninvited from a trip because my son (14/m) is autistic.
from the replies, where he got excoriated in both posts

at least reddit seems to be pretty ontop of it here. but yeah forcing the kid onto others and just going "accept it accept it i deal with it every day!!!" is kinda bullshit, and lol at "one littly teeny tiny incident, we don't talk about it but trust me its very tiny and was only once, ok maybe twice. ok maybe more but definitely very few". just like that autism wedding kid who the sister didn't want there because he'll throw a meltdown. the kid is like 3 years old and definitely doesn't want to be at a wedding, why loving force it

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:54

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

quote:

He started showing me his giant hentai folders full of characters from popular shows, and he started telling me all about how much he loves big breasts and is turned on by succubi.

Don't doxx me.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:54

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

goethe.cx posted:

Having actually slept with a virgin I don�t get that fetish at all

toxic patriarchy and hypermasculinity. it makes a lot of sense.

if someone has had sex before, *gasp* they might have had better sex than my inadequate inexperienced tiny one-pump dick and have a baseline to compare to! i will always be competing against this imaginary baseline of big dicked masculine men and this triggers my patriarchy-attacks. its unfair that i have to thin kof this! therefore i must justify it, they'll be loose and ruined and will think me bad at sex and that's NO GOOD

# ? Aug 27, 2019 17:58

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Somehow a woman that had sex with her steady boyfriend hundreds of times has a pristine and tight vagina, but a woman that has had a dozen one night stands had her vagina turned into loose roast beef. It just makes sense, OK?

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:01

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

Leon Einstein posted:

Somehow a woman that had sex with her steady boyfriend hundreds of times has a pristine and tight vagina, but a woman that has had a dozen one night stands had her vagina turned into loose roast beef. It just makes sense, OK?

Look we all know women upgrade to larger and larger dicks every time they have sex. Why would you sleep with someone with a smaller one after you've had a larger one? That's why you're always the biggest dick she's ever had.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:03

Frog Act: Feb 10, 2012

I'm getting sick of my [29F] husbands [33] self centred attitude and his lack of empathy.

quote:

We've been together for 7 years and married for 1.5. We make each other so happy which is probably why I thought we could work through anything together but I'm beginning to doubt this.

Mark is socially awkward and has mild (high functioning) Aspergers. This is not an excuse for his behaviour but we struggled in the beginning due to his lack of empathy/sympathy towards anyone. He tried though. He tried to understand. he tried to offer support although it often felt forced and fake but I was happy he at least tried to be there for me when I needed him.

My family has been going through a rough patch. My nephew (8 months old) has just been diagnosed with congenital brain abnormalities (though theyre not even sure what it is so technically its not even a diagnoses) that was apparently evident at birth however they failed to inform anyone of this nor did they follow anything up. Theres a huge mess with the hospital and legal sides of things as my brother spent the last 7 months trying to figure out why the baby wasn't gaining any weight and why he was crying so much.

They performed TONS of expensive medical tests over the last several months. My brother wasn't in a great financial position to begin with so this placed a pretty big stress on them.

I'm in a great position financially, have a great job all that stuff and I can afford to help them which is what I decided to do. I discussed it with Mark. I wanted to get a second opinion from a specialist as I don't trust the hospital as far as I can throw them. I told mark that I wanted to cover the cost of the second specialist and extras and if surgery was needed, Id step up too.

I was also really upset emotionally when I discovered the news. Mark couldn't understand why I was upset. Nor why I would want to financially help my brother. He "reminded" me that the baby wasn't mine so why care?. I reminded him that he was an rear end in a top hat (excuse my French) to think that the baby had to be mine for me to love him.

He then proceeds to tell me that he hopes we don't have a "child like that" together as hes sure I'd be hysterical and cry in front of everyone and he wouldn't know what to do and doesn't think he could comfort me.

Later on he tells me that since I'm going to be wasting my money by giving it away, he was going to be buying more coins on his game. Now Mark spent over 400 on a game that's basically free to use. He spends money to buy items in the game. Its a simple phone game. I wasn't thrilled with this news and had previously asked him to please not do that. I have no issues with him purchasing video games and he has a tone of that but spending so much money to buy coins in a mobile game just didn't sit right with me.

So he used this opportunity to basically tell me that he gets to do what he wants since Ill be spending my money doing something I want.

Now in theory that may all be fine but this isn't me going out to buy a shoe ffs! I cant believe he would use this in such a callous and thoughtless manner. His actions through out this entire thing has been terrible.

I'm beginning to resent how he acted with the baby too. Because the baby cried so much, my brother and SIL was basically drained as they couldn't sleep. I offered to look after the baby from time to time to give them a break and during these times, mark would lock himself in the room with loud music to tune out the baby. He would have a huge attitude with me as to why I wanted to look after a baby that wasn't mine (he was never forced to look after the baby with me, could do his own thing outside the house and I tried explaining to him the reasons for why I wanted to do this but I think he just isn't ever going to get it)

I remember all the negative poo poo he would say about the baby and it makes my blood boil. I know this anger is misdirected but I just cant handle Mark.

His values are so beyond different to mine that I don't think he'll ever understand why I do things. In theory he says he gets it. When I tell him how hurt I am by things, he takes a step back and tries to support me and acts like he gets it but clearly he doesn't.

I think I want to leave him but its so hard because I know he will make promises to do better (I tried breaking up with him before due to his lack of empathy) but I just don't know if hes capable of doing better. I cant risk having a child with him. I don't want my kids to grow up and be like Mark. Someone who only cares about his needs and is incapable of showing a single drop of compassion towards others. It scares me. I know its terrible but it scares me.

I'm emotional from everything that has happened so maybe I'm jumping the gun too fast, id love to hear what you guys think.

In particular, people who might be similar to Mark, did you guys change ? and if so what worked for you ?

tl;dr: I'm married to a selfish, self centred guy who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

as Xaris astutely noted, toxic hypermasculinity is basically at the center of like 75% of the things posted here, even ones like this where the dude has a processing disorder that is compounded by internalizing stupid notions of paternity and responsibility

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:04

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Leon Einstein posted:

Somehow a woman that had sex with her steady boyfriend hundreds of times has a pristine and tight vagina, but a woman that has had a dozen one night stands had her vagina turned into loose roast beef. It just makes sense, OK?

That's the difference between the tender loving a man makes when in holy matrimony blessed by God, versus the barbaric plundering one is subjected to when consorting with the Rape Beasts of Tinder.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:04

Frog Act: Feb 10, 2012

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

quote:

My husband and I have been married for two years and he's been unemployed for six months. I think the unemployment has taken a toll on him because he's now regressed to doing stupid things like feeding the wildlife in our backyard instead of doing productive things like finding a job. In particular, he's taken a liking to a little squirrel that he consistently is feeding and has named. I told him that the squirrel is cute, sure, but he NEEDS to stop feeding him ASAP and instead of spending the entire time he has in the backyard playing with this thing to get out there and find a job.

Well, my pleas have fallen on deaf ears and my husband has obviously continued feeding this stupid thing because I found it in our house, in our living room, and my husband with his feet propped up in his chair while it rolled around on our rug!! I told him to get the squirrel out, and while he did (it took an hour!) I laid down the law. No squirrels in our house. No more feeding the squirrel. Enough is enough. They carry diseases and are destructive. My husband said that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and to get off his case. Whelp, guess who caught him feeding the squirrel granola later?

Vermin has invaded our home. Clearly there's massive issues going on. I'm honestly tempted to just call animal control and have them deal with the squirrel so he can focus on more important things like getting a freaking job. Nothing is getting through to him. I've had it.

tl;dr: Husband won't find a job. Is inviting local vermin into our home and feeding it. I'm ready to pull my hair out.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:05

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

One of my old roommates did poo poo like this. It's the unemployment. Dude was a perpetually unemployed/underemployed layabout kept above the financial water by his rich parents. He didn't have much of a social life either, so he would just always be trying to engage with the dumbest bullshit that no person who had things to do in their lives would entertain.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:11

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

Oh yes, please stop posting funny actual content!

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:16

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Elderbean posted:

Tabletop games are a goldmine of weird broke brained dudes.

Nice Guy DM Sexually Harasses Me

Table top games, not once.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:17

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

Tony and his drat ducks

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:21

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Time to get a cat.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:21

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

chitoryu12 posted:

Fight Man has tried to find love!

AITA for not paying for the girl I was on a date with strictly because of her political views?

Bootstraps!

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:27

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Frog Act posted:

I'm getting sick of my [29F] husbands [33] self centred attitude and his lack of empathy.

as Xaris astutely noted, toxic hypermasculinity is basically at the center of like 75% of the things posted here, even ones like this where the dude has a processing disorder that is compounded by internalizing stupid notions of paternity and responsibility

"I tried to break up with him."

LOL.

We keep coming back to the Seinfeld episode where George's Fiancee refuses the breakup, stating that is like launching a nuclear missile; you both have to turn the key.

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

You good bro.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:28

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

They're carriers of the black plague. Happy to help!

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:29

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

Frog Act posted:

My (30/F) unemployed husband (32/M) has begun feeding a squirrel in the backyard, refusing my requests that he stops and won't get another hobby. It's now invading our home.

i know i've been posting a lot of content in here today but i can't not post this one lmao

My dad is this. Except recently retired. The squirrels don't beg too much in the summer. But I can see it happening by the winter.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:40

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

They're going to wind up in the ER one day with the squirrel up his rear end and the most incredible "Can you believe it?" story.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:47

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Unemployment does make otherwise normal people do weird things. You're depressed and paralyzed by the constant rejection. There's really no guaranteed end. It can even be hard to socialize because there's often no good answer to "what have you been up to lately"

That said, feeding squirrels is very cool

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:51

Elderbean: Jun 10, 2013

Burt Sexual posted:

Table top games, not once.

They're my favorite hobby, tabletop RPGs are so much fun once you find the right system and are playing with the right people but they become a loving nightmare if just one person is a shithead and it's a hobby that attracts a lot of shitheads. Although DnD has exploded in popularity over the last few years and people are becoming way less tolerant of creeps. It's hilarious because the creeps seem to think they are the alpha nerds since they have been playing for 10-20 years and have an encyclopedic knowledge of the rules but it turns out that the best players are just normal people with social skills.

I'll take a "normie" who only knows the basics over some smelly neckbeard who is arguably more passionate about the hobby but has zero self-awareness.

Elderbean fucked around with this message at 18:58 on Aug 27, 2019

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:56

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

Unemployment does make otherwise normal people do weird things. You're depressed and paralyzed by the constant rejection. There's really no guaranteed end. It can even be hard to socialize because there's often no good answer to "what have you been up to lately"

That said, feeding squirrels is very cool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jqKiVHS6x4

# ? Aug 27, 2019 18:58

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

My [45F] wife goes out boozing until 3.30am when travelling for work.

quote:

My 45 yo wife regularly travels for conferences and such, she is a lawyer and tells me it is normal for lawyers to go out and booze until late hours. This weekend she is in NY, and she was out until 3.30am drinking and dancing in a karaoke/club bar. This happens regularly. It makes me very uncomfortable, it is not what I would deem as normal in a commited relationship, and certainly not what I would do myself.

Advice please?

tl;dr: Wife goes out with friends and work people when travelling until late hours and gets back to the hotel completely drunk, makes me very uncomfortable but says I need to trust her.

46 [M4F] Nice 46yo looking for similarly aged female(self.londonr4r)
submitted 9 months ago

quote:

Happy days!
Looking for some company, so am I. What is there to lose, really? Stats: slim, decent looking, 5'11, professional.
Ping me a message and let's grab a drink and a chat.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 19:01

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# ? May 28, 2024 17:34

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

A lot of towns closed down their public pools after they were forced to integrate. Seriously. Therefore black and poor people are disproportionately unlikely to have access to pools and swimming lessons.

That's loving sad as hell. I grew up poor but everyone learned to swim because so many people drown every year in the desert. Kinda have to teach kids to swim early or they're going to be a risk all summer.

Boatman needs to learn this very valuable life skill because at some point his wife is going to get tired of his poo poo and throw him overboard.

# ? Aug 27, 2019 19:01

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