TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

Slate Action: Feb 13, 2012; by exmarx

BanjoFish posted:

Make this man emperor.

I love the shift in the second paragraph where he's getting angrier and angrier. We need to get Michael Shannon to read this.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:13

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# ? May 31, 2024 14:59

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

ixnay posted:

Or to put that more succinctly,

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/616290244753760262

Why won't Macy's do more to secure America's borders :qq:

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:21

Norton: Feb 18, 2006

Trump = best at military

Macy's = weak on border security

Who can stop this political powerhouse??

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:29

Mister Facetious: Apr 21, 2007; I think I died and woke up in L.A.,
I don't know how I wound up in this place...

Sir Tonk posted:

Why won't Macy's do more to secure America's borders

I live in Canada; I would have tried to stop Cruz, but he crossed the border before I was born... :negative:

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:29

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

ixnay posted:

Or to put that more succinctly,

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/616290244753760262

Charge Macys with treason!

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:33

Fritz Coldcockin: Nov 7, 2005

Bicyclops posted:

You should really include the photo of everyone running in the Republican primary:

I laughed much, much harder than I should have at this.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:45

Sheng-Ji Yang: Mar 5, 2014

once i get to a computer with a mouse ill make this a lot cleaner

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:45

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

"My clothing line, now that I canceled it, was always dogshit."

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:46

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

once i get to a computer with a mouse ill make this a lot cleaner

goldmine

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:47

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

mlmp08 posted:

"My clothing line, now that I canceled it, was always dogshit."

tough luck y'all who bought my overpriced dog poo poo. - The Trump

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:49

anime was right: Jun 27, 2008; death is certain
keep yr cool

anyone buying from a line representing a human-sized potato with a featherduster jammed into one of its spudholes deserves wasting their money

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:52

DaveWoo: Aug 14, 2004; Fun Shoe

In which Jeb Bush and Barack Obama agree on an issue of great importance to many Americans.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:59

Bicyclops: Aug 27, 2004

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

once i get to a computer with a mouse ill make this a lot cleaner

Oh God, it doesn't even have to be done cleanly, it's still so drat funny

# ? Jul 1, 2015 21:59

Bryter: Nov 6, 2011; but since we are small we may-
uh, we may be the losers

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

once i get to a computer with a mouse ill make this a lot cleaner

Needs to have Jindal gazing hopelessly out the window, otherwise it's perfect.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:01

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

Joke's on you when one of those guys wins the election.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:04

greatn: Nov 15, 2006; by Lowtax

Don't most undocumented immigrants come over legally anyway? Then they just stay when they were supposed to go home.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:14

Sir Tonk: Apr 18, 2006; Young Orc

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

once i get to a computer with a mouse ill make this a lot cleaner

It's perfect the way it is :swoon:

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:19

Feather: Mar 1, 2003; Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Agrajag posted:

Joke's on you when one of those guys wins the election.

Odds are Hillary will be the next President, which Republicans will pretend to hate in public but rejoice over in private for two reasons:

1. Hillary/anything Clinton is their ultimate wedge issue: a Hillary win virtually guarantees the Congress will remain R or, if not, revert to R during the 2018 midterms

2. Hillary's (mostly) conservative economics and firmly right-wing/hawkish foreign policies provide yet another opportunity for them to shift the center right

About the only two things Hillary might do that will actually piss off Republicans in private are anything short of mass genocide/deportation of "the illegals" and maybe doubling down on ACA.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:22

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

greatn posted:

Don't most undocumented immigrants come over legally anyway? Then they just stay when they were supposed to go home.

For certain categories, maybe. What makes me doubt that is that the US immigration system is a byzantine hellhole so hardly anyone gets through in the first place.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:22

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

EDIT: Posting this in the Politics thread.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:22

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

Feather posted:

Odds are Hillary will be the next President, which Republicans will pretend to hate in public but rejoice over in private for two reasons:

1. Hillary/anything Clinton is their ultimate wedge issue: a Hillary win virtually guarantees the Congress will remain R or, if not, revert to R during the 2018 midterms

2. Hillary's (mostly) conservative economics and firmly right-wing/hawkish foreign policies provide yet another opportunity for them to shift the center right

About the only two things Hillary might do that will actually piss off Republicans in private are anything short of mass genocide/deportation of "the illegals" and maybe doubling down on ACA.

Why will Hillary cause the congress to remain R?

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:24

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

Agrajag posted:

Why will Hillary cause the congress to remain R?

Because it's still 1994, didn't you hear?

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:25

Pocky In My Pocket: Jan 27, 2005; Giant robots shouldn't fight!

Shageletic posted:

EDIT: Posting this in the Politics thread.

Good. gently caress that guy.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:26

hangedman1984: Jul 25, 2012

Shageletic posted:

EDIT: Posting this in the Politics thread.

Karma bitch

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:27

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

DaveWoo posted:

In which Jeb Bush and Barack Obama agree on an issue of great importance to many Americans.

I thought it was going to be guac either wholly or partially made out of mashed peas but throwing in whole peas is somehow even worse.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:31

AndNowMax: Sep 25, 2009; Fighting the fight for *mumble* *mumble*

Hey what's Ben Carson up to

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:43

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

AndNowMax posted:

Hey what's Ben Carson up to

I wonder how many of those Canadian followers are mistaking him for someone else.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:45

AndNowMax: Sep 25, 2009; Fighting the fight for *mumble* *mumble*

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

I wonder how many of those Canadian followers are mistaking him for someone else.

Yeah you'd think they'd want to support one of their own

# ? Jul 1, 2015 22:52

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Can't rush this. We must let... ~*~the market decide~*~

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:01

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

Joementum posted:

Can't rush this. We must let... ~*~the market decide~*~

I'm really into the idea of Rand not being able to make mundane choices without first looking at a series of complex graphs.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:03

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

I'm really into the idea of Rand not being able to make mundane choices without first looking at a series of complex graphs.

He's so pensive.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:06

fade5: May 31, 2012; by exmarx

Agrajag posted:

Why will Hillary cause the congress to remain R?

Republicans will control Congress (specifically the House) regardless of any and all candidates that are running, barring a reverse 1984-level sweep by Hillary or even Bernie. It's because the House is gerrymandered to all hell, coupled with the end of basically all the Blue Dogs:

The 2012 House of Representatives posted:

Although Democratic candidates received a nationwide plurality of more than 1.4 million votes (1.2%) in all House elections, the Republican Party won a 33-seat advantage in the state-apportioned totals, thus retaining its House majority by 17 seats.

it's the same reason the Republicans held the house in 2012.

It's bullshit. :mad:

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:11

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:12

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

I will say this about Trump; I don't think I've ever seen a presidential candidate less willing to compromise his position for the sake of votes

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:18

Fox Ironic: Jul 19, 2012; by exmarx

Scrub-Niggurath posted:

I will say this about Trump; I don't think I've ever seen a presidential candidate less willing to compromise his position for the sake of votes

And that, good sir, is why he'll win the Republican Nomination.

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:20

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

How about Trump showing a supposed letter of the head of NBC liking a hotel of his

https://instagram.com/p/4nAMoWmhZ3/

But they had a positive view of me what happened :qq:

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:20

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Human bowling jacket Paul LePage managed to talk for three minutes today without threatening to assassinate a Democrat and, in those minutes, endorsed Chris Christie, mostly because Christie got him re-elected.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVlwStM5m0M

# ? Jul 1, 2015 23:22

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

Vertical Lime posted:

How about Trump showing a supposed letter of the head of NBC liking a hotel of his

https://instagram.com/p/4nAMoWmhZ3/

But they had a positive view of me what happened