Lonely Virgil posted:

I thought betas were the ally cucks of feminism, if I'm remembering my internet social theories right.

corn on the cop posted:

He wants to watch me step on things like eggs and ground beef (Such a waste of food!!)

corn on the cop posted:

ArbitraryC posted:

Are there women with feet fetishes cause I feel like I've never heard of them.

Pick posted:

Women tend to be circumspect about revealing their fetishes, because they can often be impossible or just somewhat gauche. Like, for example, if you've ever wanted to take your boyfriend, who you adore, and blindfold him, and tie his arms behind his back, and cut off his clothes with scissors, and then kick him back onto the bed, and hit him any time he tries to get up while he makes a soft whimpering, whining noise, and then turn him over and jab your fingers into the space between his ribs and tell him that it's pointless to cry, you've heard it all before, and then grab his balls and start jacking him off while he weeps silently into his pillow as you periodically twist his ears and call him weak then you might just never bother mentioning it because you get a sense he might not be into it as much as you are. And ultimately relationships are about mutuality and caring.

Pick posted:

Women tend to be circumspect about revealing their fetishes, because they can often be impossible or just somewhat gauche. Like, for example, if you've ever wanted to take your boyfriend, who you adore, and blindfold him, and tie his arms behind his back, and cut off his clothes with scissors, and then kick him back onto the bed, and hit him any time he tries to get up while he makes a soft whimpering, whining noise, and then turn him over and jab your fingers into the space between his ribs and tell him that it's pointless to cry, you've heard it all before, and then grab his balls and start jacking him off while he weeps silently into his pillow as you periodically twist his ears and call him weak then you might just never bother mentioning it because you get a sense he might not be into it as much as you are. And ultimately relationships are about mutuality and caring.

corn on the cop posted:

quote:

Alright so here it goes! Sorry for the poo poo title by the way!

My gf let's call her "Francesca" and I have been dating for an amazing three months so far and she is absolutely amazing and caring and loving to me. She has only ever had one boyfriend before me and she is my first post-high school girlfriend.

It's only been a few months and my gf sadly always finds a reason to not cuddle or even lay together for a long period of time when I try to. This really sucks because I've always been a huge cuddler and I guess I've just tried to overlook it when dating her. But it's hard. When I'd ask if we can cuddle it's always "i really don't like cuddles they make me uncomfortable". When I'd ask why she feels this way she always avoids the question. For my birthday, I asked her if she could try to cuddle with me just once as a birthday gift and she got really emotional and said it would make her really uncomfortable so I felt bad and haven't asked her again. Honestly if I ask again it's gonna make her sad and it makes me upset seeing her like that. I talked to my friend about this, he said that she might be scared that id try to make a move on her (sex) and I mentioned that early on in the relationship since me and Francesca are both virgins we've decided that we want to wait for the "right moment" before having sex which we both agreed should be at least 6 months in.

I'm not sure what to do and hopefully I'm not overreacting too much but it bugs me to not be able to cuddle with my favourite girl. Sometimes she rejects holding hands too which also sucks. She will hold my hand for a minute or so and then let go. I've talked about this with her too and she said it makes her feel bad when I make her feel like she's not good enough because she doesn't cuddle and hold my hand.

Since I've typed too much already I'll keep the remainder of this short. Recently, she's been wanting to visit "Hawaii" for a long time so I surprised her with a weekend vacation there. When we got to the hotel she insisted on sleeping in the spare bed. she wasn't upset with me or anything and just decided she wanted to sleep alone. It hurt, but I shouldn't have expected much anyways considering the lack of cuddles. (We've never slept with each other anyways since we live in different houses so this was the first time I've ever attempted to sleep with her).

Again, she is an awesome person who's loving in every way possible except cuddles. I have questioned my BO but I don't believe it's that considering she likes spending time with me otherwise. I never knew someone would hate cuddles but she's the one and I'm not sure what to do thanks in advance y'all!

Tldr; gf never wants to cuddle and didn't want to sleep with me at our vacation hotel

quote:

This is an update post! this is probably the quickest update ever but it's such a happy update that I just want to share with everyone

So I read a lot of the advice and decided that I was going to talk to her about a possible break up. I know this makes me sound like a poo poo person but honestly I'm just a very touchy guy and express my affection by touching and being touched. Not being able to cuddle or hold hands or sleep next to my girlfriend was not going to work out for me and just felt like a constant tease you'd get from a long distance relationship where you'd think about holding and cuddling your gal or guy but just don't end up doing it. Honestly it was not gonna work out.

I brought my gf to my house after telling her we had to chat. I started by telling her that I'm really sorry and like her very much but I don't think things will work out with our different cuddling preferences. She started crying and said she didn't want me to be turned off by this but she actually loves cuddling but has a "sweating disorder" and when she cuddles she gets super sweaty like I'm talking hella sweaty. She said her ex boyfriend dumped her because of her sweating and she said that's why she didn't want to cuddle with me. She said the same thing happens when she holds hands and she gets super sweaty. She said she was afraid cuddling with me would make me leave her like with her ex in the past.

I felt bad that I've been giving her so much poo poo about it and it was like an insecurity she had and I told her that I don't really care if she sweats on me its all good. She laughed and said "no I actually sweat buckets" and I told her "can you sweat buckets on me?" :P she thought about it and then she said "okay but don't break up with me over it if I sweat too much!" In a joking voice.

She layed beside me and we cuddled and it felt so loving good to finally feel that with her. She actually managed to sweat so much that my shirt was pretty wet and the bed sheet was soaked and I told her that I found it pretty cool. She said that she is so happy that someone appreciates cuddles and doesn't mind the sweating and I was just so happy we were finally cuddling. I told her I didn't mind getting soaked cuddling and said "at least now we can have kisses in the rain in bed" and she couldn't stop laughing. She asked if we could hold hands in bed to show me how sweaty her hands get and again my hands were wet as hell which I didn't mind. She said "if you ever need to wash your hands and there's no sink available just hold my hands!" Which was really cute.

It's been an amazing day and I'm just really happy things worked out. I told her that if she felt like things her ex said to her were hurting her and still making her feel insecure she should really consider maybe seeing a therapist to help her feel more comfortable. She agreed and said that the fact that I like her sweating lifted a burden off her shoulders since she loves cuddles. Hopefully all goes well!

Tldr; she is an excessive sweater that's all :P

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

WampaLord posted:

You know what? That is an excessive sweater.

quote:

I [31 M] let myself into the apartment next to my girlfriends [34 F] to prevent a fire. She is mad I filed a police report about it.Relationships

submitted 2 years ago * by GoodSamaritanBAndE

Final Update Here: http://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/2v9bu1/update_i_31_m_let_myself_into_the_apartment_next/

This weekend I was staying over at my girlfriends apartment. It is a single house split into 2 apartments. Around 8 am I smelled bacon and went downstairs to see if she was cooking some. She had just bought a 1/4 pig from a local farmer so I was really hoping this was some of the bacon. Sadly it wasn't and must have been the adjoining apartment next door.

About 11:00 we hear an alarm going off next door and don't think much of it. The neighbor [20's M] is always around odd hours and staying up late so my girlfriend and I just thought it was just him sleeping through his alarm clock. Shortly after this I got up to do some laundry and smelled smoke. I realize the alarm is not an alarm clock but the smoke detector going off for the last 5-10 minutes.

I immediately ran around the house to the side door leading to the other apartment to see if I could get in. Through the window I could see smoke and also someone in the other room passed out on the couch. I tried banging on the door to wake the neighbor but he didn't budge. I am a locksmith and had my picks on me so I tried picking the door but could not get it quick so I ran to the front door and thankfully it was unlocked. I walked inside, ignored the neighbor on the couch and followed the smoke. Turns out the bacon I had smelled at 8 am along with a giant omelet were both on the stove, 3 hours later burning. I turned off both burners took care of the burnt food and then went to check on the neighbor.

The neighbor was out. It was clear this was either alcohol or drug related but he was otherwise ok. I let him be and went back to my girlfriends apartment. The neighbor woke up 15 mins later and we could here him moving around just fine. He never came over to say thank you...

The part where this gets messy since I am a locksmith I know what I just did could be considered breaking and entering/trespassing. I am pretty sure this would be covered by good samaritan laws but I wanted to avoid having it become a problem. It would be very hard to keep my job as a locksmith if I had either of those charges on my record. Later that day I left my girlfriends and filed a police report to cover my rear end, just in case.

Last night I was at the brewery with my girlfriend and she had planned drive us back to her place where my vehicle was. I had been drinking enough where I was not going to drive. I told her about filing the police report and she immediately got visibly upset and left the brewery without me shortly after. I ended up having to take a cab home and one back to my vehicle at her place this morning.

My girlfriend is now telling me we need to "have a talk tonight" and is otherwise giving me the cold shoulder. I can only assume she is upset that I filed the police report and the neighbor or landlord might get upset.

My question is how can I talk to her to help her understand what I did was to protect myself and my lively hood? Also if anyone can help me understand why she is so upset about this I would really appreciate it.

TL;DR Passed out neighbor almost burns down house with breakfast. I file a police report to cover my rear end for going into neighbors apartment. Girlfiend is pissed at me and says "we need to talk".

Update: Wow. So we just broke up. We talked for about 15 minute on the phone and she accused me of not taking her feelings into account. Since someone asked we started dating off and on last summer and finally became a couple at thanksgiving.

Here is the bombshell, I mentioned might be coming in the comments. We are scheduled to leave on an already paid for vacation to the Caribbean for a week together in just over 2 weeks. We talked briefly about it on the phone and decided it would be best if we gave each other some time and didn't talk about it just yet.

This is where I would love some help and feedback. The relationship may not be repairable at this point but I still think she is an amazing girl and I want to see how much damage control I can do to prevent this from being worse for either of us than it needs to be.

Morning after update: After some social lubricant and talking to a lot of random people on here and at the brewery last night I have come to a conclusion. Even if there was more going on like many people have surmised the relationship is over. There is no point in me holding on to it and letting it get me down. Today is a new day, I am going to make it a good one and not look back.

I know there are going to be issues with the vacation but I will handle those as they come. I will make sure to update you all and ask for advice when I need some. Today I need some clarity and to be away from the subject so don't expect a lot of updates today but I will try to stop in from time to time.

I also have to say thank you all for everything you have said. There are so many of you that helped me find a piece of mind that I otherwise would have had much more trouble with. A special thanks to the people at the brewery last night who without knowing it or not really helped me through this.

A bit later update: So I'm sitting here with a close friend and he tells me since thanksgiving he could tell things weren't the same. This is the same person who told me she makes me a better person and was a big part of why I dated her. I really do feel like I was blind to what was really going on and not truly believe this eas eother an excuse or the start that broke the camels back kind of situation.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

quote:

After I (29f) told my fiance's (32m) family that we are not having children, they decided they aren't coming to the wedding.Non-Romantic

submitted 1 year ago by diaboliquen

Rick and I have been together for seven years, and are finally in the position where we can get married and have the life we've always wanted. That life has never included children. I knew what I wanted out of my life, and as soon as I could find a doctor who would do it, I got sterilized. Rick has had a vasectomy.

His family did not know this about us until recently. It has come up in a far-off sense, but we found it fit to finally tell them that their desire for grandchildren, nieces nephews or whatever else, is unfortunately not going to happen.

It all went down at a party, like these things often times do. When hanging with Rick and his family at a cookout, someone asked us about wedding plans. We are planning a fun wedding, and it's fun to talk about the things we're doing. At some point, his sister chimed in with, "After the wedding, how long before I get to be an aunt?"

Rick and I looked at each other for a moment to confirm we wanted to do this, and we both nodded. I said, "Oh, there aren't going to be any children."

People of course didn't believe us and were saying the usual "you'll change your minds!" and "it's different when they're your own!" and "what would you even do if you didn't have kids?" We listened politely, but when people were done, we made it very clear, once again, that this was a joint decision and that we had made the necessary precuations. They didn't know what this meant, and as soon as I said I was sterilized, the tides turned.

Cue the "how COULD you do that?" and everything under the sun. We were called selfish and arrogant, etc etc etc. This hurt to hear from a family I've been close to since before we were together. Rick put an end to it and let everyone know that the topic of our fertility is, as of that moment, off-limits, as there is no reason to discuss it. His family accepted this and moved on, but his sister kept giving me these looks the rest of the time.

I wasn't prepared for what came in the following weeks. Phone calls, emails, texts, and FB messages from people across his family telling us that they are no longer coming to our wedding because they cannot support the choice we've made. The only people who have not declined are his mother and father. His sister has organized this whole thing because she feels personally attacked by this because she cannot have children and somehow that's my problem.

I am hurt that along with this, we have been told we can't babysit for one of the kids in the family anymore. My fiance and I are artists who have been teaching the little girl all about the world of art. She loves her time with us and we enjoy being able to instill a love of creativity in her. But according to the child's mother, she doesn't feel she can trust a woman to take care of a child if she would "remove her womanhood" or something like that.

Our wedding with an estimated 115 guests is now a wedding with 32 guests. His family was the bulk of it because I come from a small, tight-knit family and many of my friends cannot afford to fly out, etc.

I feel so sad over all of this, but especially for Rick. He's seeing a terrible side of his family that he's never seen before, and I don't know what to do to help it feel better.

tl;dr: After making it clear that we are not having any children, my fiance's family have all pulled out of the wedding and are not supporting our marriage. I need to know if I should do anything or say anything to anyone about this. I am broken-hearted over it, and so is he.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Mirthless posted:

oof

there is so much social pressure in some families to have kids. what a horrible story.

quote:

My [26 M] Girlfriend [23 F] of 6 months wants us to get face tattoos of each other's names. I think it's a bad ideaDating

submitted 21 days ago * by facetattoosbad

I met Julie through friends about 8 months ago, and we hit it off pretty quick. I asked her out and she said yes, and we've bee together since then.

About 2 weeks ago, she suggested that we get tattoos together. She has a few and I have none, but I'm not opposed to getting one. I though she just wanted a new one for her collection, and someone to get it with. If this had been the case, I probably would have said yes. There's something I've wanted to get for a while but just haven't found an artist.

What she actually wanted left me speechless: She want us to get our partner's name tattooed just under our left eyes. She told me she has a friend who is willing to do it for free for us (I know this person, she is really a tattoo artist, not just some idiot who bought a machine,) but I'm still not sold. I think we're still new enough to this relationship that e're still learning about one another, and we're both young enough that this could impact our careers. On the other hand, I don't want to lose her She's been tons of fun and we get along so well. Is there any compromise here?

Edit forgot to mention hat our career goals are. I hope to work as a translator for a major retailer. She is pursuing a career as a nurse in a nursing home.

tl;dr: GF wants us to get each other's name tattooed on our faces. I'm nt sold on the idea. s there any compromise?

Pick posted:

well rest assured you will never feel that here, mirthless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Ride The Gravitron posted:

zakharov posted:

This is so drat weird to me. Who could possibly care about someone else not having kids? I try and understand the other side of things but this one has always baffled me.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I can understand wanting someone else to have kids. I want my siblings to have kids for example because I want nieces, nephews, and for my kids to grow up with cousins nearby. If they don't have kids, big loving deal.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

zakharov posted:

This is so drat weird to me. Who could possibly care about someone else not having kids? I try and understand the other side of things but this one has always baffled me.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86URGgqONvA

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lmao he's "not sold on the idea" and wants to reach a "compromise", is there anything these dudes won't cave on for pussy

Barudak posted:

And I can see every day if this guys career already. "Hey man, how do you translate "stupid idiot who got a tattoo on his face of a girl he only knew for six months"? Oh wait, cant believe I forgot, its you"

zakharov posted:

This is so drat weird to me. Who could possibly care about someone else not having kids? I try and understand the other side of things but this one has always baffled me.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lmao he's "not sold on the idea" and wants to reach a "compromise", is there anything these dudes won't cave on for pussy