/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Edit: misread it

# ? Feb 14, 2017 18:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 07:45

subhuman filth: Nov 1, 2006

Ouhei posted:

I know it isn't the greatest feeling to be white these days, but yikes.

Actually it rules

# ? Feb 14, 2017 18:54

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

One time a gf's dad said he didn't like me because I am *not white because E. Europeans are not really white. I guess I'm a PoC too?

(I'm white)

e: *not

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Feb 14, 2017

# ? Feb 14, 2017 18:55

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

Sounds like a coping tactic to emotionally distance herself from her Nazi father

yeah, either this or she's got poor self esteem and is trying to come with some reason that she's special

pretty much all white americans have at least one nonwhite ancestor within a few generations

# ? Feb 14, 2017 18:59

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Moridin920 posted:

One time a gf's dad said he didn't like me because I am white because E. Europeans are not really white. I guess I'm a PoC too?

(I'm white)

I've been told the Spanish are "lower tier white".

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:04

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

I think obsessing over race is unhealthy as gently caress but yea skin color wise the spanish are white as heck

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:07

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Psycho Society posted:

I think obsessing over race is unhealthy as gently caress but yea skin color wise the spanish are white as heck

I mean I don't really care either way because it's dumb as heck but I just thought it was pretty drat funny that someone who presumably was okay with me suddenly then disliked me once they found out I was from E. Europe and therefore 'not actually white' - even though I still look exactly the same before and after he found that out.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:10

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Racism is super dumb all the time

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:14

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

My [23M] girlfriend [22F] keeps crushing my balls every single time she gets in bed.

quote:

My girlfriend (Sammi) keeps dropping down on my bed. Her knee keeps crushing my balls every single time she does it and it hurts like hell. She's tiny and we joke that the wind could blow her away , but it still hurts like hell. She keeps saying that she's sorry and did not mean to. It's been going on for a month now. She's staying with me for the meantime while she try's to find an apartment. She does not want to move in full time because we've only been dating two months. She was a virgin up until probably last week, so it's not like she's unaware. Is there a way to correct this because I've already spoken to her and nothing seems to be changing.

tl;dr: My girlfriend keeps crushing my balls whenever she gets in bed with her knee.

This has to be a fetish, who does this accidentally more than once?

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:26

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

It's definitely a fetish thing but I think the author is the only one in on it.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:27

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

zakharov posted:

My [25M] girlfriend [24F] cannot accept the fact that she is white

This did not happen. Neither did the thing where the girl wanted to throw her boyfriend over for a bigger dick on Valentine's, that y'all were beside yourselves about a few pages ago.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 19:55

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

spite house posted:

This did not happen. Neither did the thing where the girl wanted to throw her boyfriend over for a bigger dick on Valentine's, that y'all were beside yourselves about a few pages ago.

Check it out, encyclopedia brown is on the fuckin case

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:00

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

spite house posted:

This did not happen. Neither did the thing where the girl wanted to throw her boyfriend over for a bigger dick on Valentine's, that y'all were beside yourselves about a few pages ago.

Eh. Every stereotype has at least one person fulfilling it

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

purple death ray posted:

Check it out, encyclopedia brown is on the fuckin case

Hes a poo poo detective and if he thinks any of these charges are gonna stick hes got another think coming.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:03

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

spite house posted:

This did not happen. Neither did the thing where the girl wanted to throw her boyfriend over for a bigger dick on Valentine's, that y'all were beside yourselves about a few pages ago.

Do I come to your favorite thread and slap the imaginary dick out of your mouth?

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:05

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Cumslut1895 posted:

Eh. Every stereotype has at least one person fulfilling it

Those aren't really stereotypes

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:05

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Any story could be fake, but the discussion they spawn are very real.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:07

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Did you fuckers forget about Rachel Dolezal or something?

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:08

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

WampaLord posted:

Any story could be fake, but the discussion they spawn are very real.

Part of the discussion can be if stories are dake or real

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:12

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

I don't know about you but I'm starting to think that not every story on /r/relationships is real or might not accurately depict the reality of the situation

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

subhuman filth posted:

Actually it rules

Yeah, it's still pretty great, in fact.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:13

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

All of the ones about overwatch are true though

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:13

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

purple death ray posted:

Check it out, encyclopedia ~~brown~~ white is on the fuckin case

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:16

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Batterypowered7 posted:

I've been told the Spanish are "lower tier white".

Well you were conquered by the dusky Moors for a while there. We can't trust you fully with that wild musselman blood in your veins.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:16

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

WampaLord posted:

My [23M] girlfriend [22F] keeps crushing my balls every single time she gets in bed.

This has to be a fetish, who does this accidentally more than once?

He's very bad at sex, so she "accidentally" sits on his balls every night.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 20:17

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ouhei posted:

I know it isn't the greatest feeling to be white these days, but yikes.

If you have to ask...

It's weird for her to adopt it as her identity if she wasn't raised that way but it's entirely possible her grandmother actually is Choctaw. :shrug:

There's tons of white people across the southwest and midwest who have enough native american ancestry that they could (and often do) qualify for membership if they applied for it.

It's pretty common in Oklahoma to see trucks with native plates and confederate flag decals on the bumper, lol

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:11

Tolkien minority: Feb 14, 2012

zakharov posted:

My [25M] girlfriend [24F] cannot accept the fact that she is white

And in tonight's edition of burying the lede...

quote:

[�]mygirlfriendiswhite[S] [score hidden] 3 hours ago
Yes, I agree. I would find it offensive, but I know she means the best. She's very aware of racial issues and is very outspoken with her support of minority folks. As a black man, I obviously would not be dating her otherwise. She can be pretty childish at times, but I'm really worried this is a mental health issue. There are other red flags for mental illness I've noted.

quote:

�]Griffinjohnson [score hidden] 3 hours ago
There are other red flags for mental illness I've noted.
Please elaborate.

quote:

[�]mygirlfriendiswhite[S] [score hidden] 3 hours ago
Well, her older brother died in a car accident several years ago. You would not know that by the way she talks about him. I honestly did not know the man was dead until I went to add him on Facebook and saw his profile was a memorial page. If anyone even slightly suggests her brother is dead, she will have a complete meltdown.

quote:

[�]mygirlfriendiswhite[S] [score hidden] 2 hours ago
Her not accepting her brother's death caused a major rift in her family. Her parents, especially her father, take the tough love approach. It's gotten so bad she avoids her family at all costs now.

girls batshit

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:21

Helios Grime: Jan 27, 2012; Where we are going we won't need shirts; Pillbug

Oh wow, lady needs professional help. Asap.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:22

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

Another success story of the tough love approach!

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:27

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

quote:

If anyone even slightly suggests her brother is dead, she will have a complete meltdown.

Well this is the opposite of healthy

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:28

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

SnoozeOrder posted:

It is so.

It's unfortunate but that's a pretty predictable outcome, since she was the only witness all he had to do was lie about it and there's nothing anyone really could or even should do.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:30

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

corn on the cop posted:

Well this is the opposite of healthy

she should take a page from batman's book and just go all in on embracing it.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Tonight: Alleged Neo-Nazi dad has better grasp on reality than other human being, film at 11.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:32

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Grevling posted:

Another success story of the tough love approach!

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:38

BallerBallerDillz: Jun 11, 2009; Cock, Rules, Everything, Around, Me; Scratchmo

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Haha this guy really backed himself into a corner:

My [24 M] girlfriend of four years [26 F] wants to be a professional magician -- but she's godawful. How do I tell her to quit on her dream?

quote:

Emma, well, she's the atypical nerdy girl; she loves her anime, fantasy books, tabletop games, and above all else -- magic.

I realize this is from like 6 weeks ago but everyone seems to have let this slide (at least for the next page that I read) This guy deserves his lovely magician girlfriend just for improper use of atypical. I had a boss who used atypical when she clearly meant typical and it used to drive me loving bonkers. 😤

# ? Feb 14, 2017 21:54

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Haha this guy really backed himself into a corner:

My [24 M] girlfriend of four years [26 F] wants to be a professional magician -- but she's godawful. How do I tell her to quit on her dream?

Sounds like he should stop constantly lying to his gf because jfc dude. How is she gonna get better if you insist she's already great?

# ? Feb 14, 2017 22:02

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Improbable Lobster posted:

Part of the discussion can be if stories are dake or real

I would rather endure a thousand Mirthless details.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 22:03

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

fruit on the bottom posted:

I would rather endure a thousand Mirthless details.

I'm really uncomfortable saying this because it's just too real itt, but yeah, same

this one's got a twist
My girlfriend [41f] has given me [52m] an ultimatum: it's either her or my daughter.

quote:

Background

So me and my girlfriend have been living together for over three years now, and we've been going out for over four. We've so compatible it's unbelievable. Even after four years, we're still affectionate to one another, we listen to each other, compromise, and the sex is great. She's all around a great person. She, like me, is previously divorced (she was married for 12 years, me for 22), but unlike me, she doesn't have any kids.

I have two kids, both 24. My son is moved out, but my daughter, on the other hand, is a totally different story... Me and my ex wife somehow totally screwed up on her, and I don't know what to do.

First, she doesn't work. In the past three years, she's had a handful of jobs that lasted a week or two here and there, but she soon gets fired for lateness or absenteeism, then goes back to being unemployed for 4-5 months. It's not that she can't get a job, she just doesn't apply for them AT ALL. I give her a house to stay in, food eat, I let her drive a decent car, and I maybe give her a dollar or two every week or so (hoping she'll use it for gas money to go get a job.) I recently shut off her cell phone, but she's just using the house phone.

On top of this, she's turned into a bitch. I hate to use that word about my daughter, but she is a complete and total bitch. She parades about the house like it's her own, literally screaming at me if I take a day off of work about how, I "need to loving leave" so she can have the house to herself. Our A/C is shot right now and she's was up in her room, literally, throwing a fit and screaming how I "need to get the loving air conditioner fixed," and calling me all the names in the book.
All kinds of stuff that me and my girlfriend buy for ourselves go missing. Toilet paper, hidden stashes of chips, change jars, and laundry baskets are some of the most common victims. She has two cats she's kept in her room for years (they're practically feral and attack me and my girlfriend's cat when they're let out), so cat litter and cat food go missing all the time.

I've been begging my ex wife to let our daughter move in with her, but her apartment doesn't allow pets of any kind, so my daughter won't go until those cats are gone.

The Story

So my daughter has been absolutely awful lately. The bitchiness has increased tenfold, and there's no sign of her getting a job or getting better. There's a lot of drama in the house. I mean a ton. My girlfriend is definitely not a confrontational person and she's growing very, very irritable.

And I was completely understandable when she told me today that if my daughter doesn't move out in a month, she will be moving out, because she can't stand all the yelling and drama with my daughter and ex wife. I really don't know what to do... I just want my daughter to get a job. She's welcome to live in my house if she'll get a job, but I don't think it's going to happen.

I just don't know how to force my daughter out. I don't want to call the police to get her out. And I don't know what to do about the cats, because I'm not keeping them. There's just a clusterfuck of problems here and I don't know what to do.
And god knows I love my girlfriend and want her here.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 22:08

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I came into that expecting to side with daughter because forcing someone to choose between you and your child is insane.

But um� yeah, maybe forcing her to stop mooching off of you might be a good call, dude.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 22:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 07:45

Helios Grime: Jan 27, 2012; Where we are going we won't need shirts; Pillbug

Dumping the freeloader onto the street is quite acceptable.

# ? Feb 14, 2017 22:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »