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Mozi posted:it's cool that i can call myself an engineer without having taken any engineering classes or recieving any sort of certification or validation UGH NOOO STOP
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Oct 31, 2016 23:44
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Burt Sexual posted:That's actually best practice as risk padding gets put in down the chain in finance in my company. We ended up with pad on top of pad and lost many bids Yeah there are people I automatically cut 20% off their cost estimates for bids now because I know they are incapable of doing it without padding the hell out of it. You do the padding later when you figure out your margin vs risk.
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Nov 1, 2016 00:03
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AnElegantPeacock posted:loving a dude, I'm not help desk, I don't fix PC's. I maintain the data tubes. Networking is just high-tech plumbing, let's be honest.
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Nov 1, 2016 00:24
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Let's get our ducks in a row by waiting for months and then dumping all the work on the engineer two weeks before Christmas when he has no capacity to take on more work. Never mind that there's 4-6 weeks worth of work to be done which will have dependencies on people who will be on holiday overseas. Hmm, why did the engineer terminate the contract and tell me to never contact him again?
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Nov 1, 2016 00:29
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thathonkey posted:it's fun to troll "Real Engineers" by doing so. heh PE exam? never had to take it psychokitty posted:UGH NOOO STOP case in point 
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Nov 1, 2016 01:21
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Engineers drive trains E: autism
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Nov 1, 2016 01:23
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me irl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAY27NU1Jog (I'm the one with people skills)
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Nov 1, 2016 03:04
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Could everyone please email me what they want from Firehouse by 10:30am. The sooner I get your order the sooner Darren the intern can go out and get them.
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Nov 1, 2016 04:01
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AnElegantPeacock posted:loving a dude Let's take this offline
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Nov 1, 2016 11:31
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Sex Falcon posted:Let's take this offline Sorry, I don't have any bandwidth for that.
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Nov 1, 2016 13:05
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Good work guys. The Execs say were doing really well according to the report you guys worked on for 7 years and compiled. I wrote my name on it and sent to them. And if we do better they said I could spend an amount of the raise they already retroactively gave me so I could give out small (at your pay scale) bonuses right before tax season so you pay more taxes and I can bullshit my way down to the next lower tax bracket. The local chairperson will like that and maybe give The Company more tax breaks. Good luck and keep up the good work but don't be afraid to drag it out if it means quality. If we can do good on this project before the next deadline maybe I'll spend a percentage of my next retroactive raise on a painting for the office It's tax deductible and my tax woman knows how much I make and wants to gently caress.
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Nov 1, 2016 13:22
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Burt Sexual posted:That's actually best practice as risk padding gets put in down the chain in finance in my company. We ended up with pad on top of pad and lost many bids When I used to be an estimator I would pad like crazy because I didn't want to catch any grief if a project did sell and it ended up costing more than my estimate due to dumb things I was never made aware of. I discovered after a year or so that the mark of a good sales executive was their ability to almost immediately spot my padding. The really good ones would eventually learn to leave the pad alone and trust the intuition/experience that I was theoretically hired for. One of the most satisfying feelings was being able to sit in a meeting discussing why a project was so far over budget and be able to calmly explain that "we would've been OK if the contingency monies in estimate version 6.2 had been left intact".
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Nov 1, 2016 14:26
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lol if you're a developer and you choose to work somewhere that developers aren't at the top of the foodchain
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Nov 1, 2016 14:47
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It just looks like a best practice but I assure you our financial guy won't even touch this estimate before it hits the customer.
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Nov 1, 2016 15:25
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Any PMs here do their own variation on a RACI/CARS matrix for Roles & Responsibilities? I feel like the RACI format is just completely useless for detailed discussions of project activities. Thanks!
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Nov 1, 2016 15:29
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I am no longer a project manager. I am now a SCRUM master. *puts on deal with it sunglasses.
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Nov 1, 2016 15:38
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Guys I'm going to put in 15 minute long daily scrums for us to talk about this otherwise straightforward project that's being temporarily held up by an external supplier. 12:30 each day OK? That was the only time which was free in everyone's diaries.
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Nov 1, 2016 19:09
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Magnitogorsk. posted:lol if you're a developer and you choose to work somewhere that developers aren't at the top of the foodchain yeah we have project managers but i dont report to them and if anything i can tell them what to do rather than the opposite it's pretty sweet. i cant imagine having PMO as my boss. lmao
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Nov 1, 2016 19:43
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I only ever have to interact with project managers to tell them "hey this order you managed missed something that the client is asking for, can you place another order for that OK thanks" Having a PM for a boss would probably induce a lot of headaches.
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Nov 1, 2016 19:46
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Mighty Steed posted:12:30 each day OK? That was the only time which was free in everyone's diaries. i had to block off lunch on my calendar because of this type of fuckery it gets ignored anyway of course 
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Nov 1, 2016 19:48
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There is a special place in hell for project managers who schedule "working lunches."
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Nov 1, 2016 21:20
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I don't think my team has any project managers, just developers and BAs. I think I'm supposed to be the project manager? idk
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Nov 1, 2016 21:39
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a good PM is invaluable sadly most of them are worthless and counterproductive to project success
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Nov 2, 2016 00:10
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It seems like a lot f the fuckary you all deal with is in the realm of software. Industrial construction doesn't seem to see value in those types of people. But hey, I might be missing something with my rather limited exposure.
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Nov 2, 2016 00:28
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yeah it's most common in software because only the technical people actually understand (maybe) the software and the business needs risks/costs/timelines but dont understand the software at all but you cant put engineers in charge of MOST types of business and expect good results. in theory roles like project manager should help bridge the gap between the two but since PMs also dont understand the tech at all they tend to just get in the way. software is such a new industry compared to, eg. construction, that hopefully some of this stuff will go away as new generations are naturally more proficient with the tech powering their world
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Nov 2, 2016 00:33
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thathonkey posted:a good PM is invaluable sadly most of them are worthless and counterproductive to project success
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Nov 2, 2016 00:55
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thathonkey posted:you cant put engineers in charge of MOST types of business and expect good results. Out of curiosity, could you elaborate on what makes this the case?
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Nov 2, 2016 01:31
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engineers are too risk averse and obsessed with details i think generally that needs to be balanced out. the goals of the businessman and the engineer are usually different. if an engineer wants to become a successful businessman then that's possible (and probably easier than the opposite) but theyd need a lot of experience (and some training/education probably)
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Nov 2, 2016 01:36
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edit: oops
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Nov 2, 2016 01:37
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Ok, so in the projects you have worked on the pm represents the interests of the business?
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Nov 2, 2016 01:46
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ive worked at places where pmo reported to biz and others where pmo reported to dev/engineering/whatever.. but i wasnt really referring to project managers just then
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Nov 2, 2016 01:51
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There was a project manager at my old job. For 2 months all he could talk about was his sixteen-year-old cousin visiting from Ireland and how bad he wanted to gently caress her. He showed our team a bunch of sneaky photos he took of her on his phone. He was in his mid-forties and a cliche suburbanite in every way, which means of course he dropped a lot of N bombs at offsite lunches.
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Nov 2, 2016 07:08
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Engineers are dumb as hell, like simple apes
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Nov 2, 2016 07:09
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Zzulu posted:Engineers are dumb as hell, like simple apes My organization once hired a Professional Engineer to manage our whole department of 30 people or so. Dude was batshit insane, and had major daddy issues; like he'd be talking to me, see his dad driving up, and then run away (I don't mean figuratively, I mean he would literally sprint to the front of the building) without saying a word. I'm assuming he was the victim of abuse, or is par for the course as far as P.E.'s go.
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Nov 2, 2016 07:41
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lorn Wayne posted:i would unironically be interested in reading more about this. Here's one of my old Work Crew effort posts on how my old employer was a complete trainwreck. I also found this, it's a picture of the back door to the CEO's office after he realized that he had nowhere for his new personal air conditioning unit to vent to: 
Vernii fucked around with this message at 21:43 on Nov 2, 2016 |
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Nov 2, 2016 21:38
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 at that pic
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Nov 2, 2016 23:01
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thathonkey posted:case in point LOL whatever dude I'm just a beatnik now
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Nov 2, 2016 23:13
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Sponge Baathist posted:so I could give out small (at your pay scale) bonuses right before tax season so you pay more taxes and I can bullshit my way down to the next lower tax bracket. What?
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Nov 3, 2016 02:19
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guys, we haven't gotten a status in a while, look for something on your calendars for this afternoon so that we can touch base and firm up next steps
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Nov 18, 2016 12:08
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Stinky_Pete posted:What? The tax man is a friend of mine from ivy league and he gets more commission when he taxes 1000 middle management at a higher amount opposed to 1 me at a significantly higher amount. It was almost the same amount of dollars but I convinced(lied to) him that their jobs will see growth in the future and he will make more money off them.
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Nov 18, 2016 12:43
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