A Wizard of Goatse posted:

didn't we already have the 'no, the degenerates you hang around are not a stand-in for all americans/humanity just because they're everybody you know' talk ITT

Improbable Lobster posted:

Yeah actually, racist is one of the worst things that someone can be

je1 healthcare posted:

I mean, assuming that asians are inherently better at math is a technically racist view but I don't think it makes my grandma bad person. Just foolish

There are wide swaths of racial assumptions that are rooted in plain ignorance rather than any malice, such as not knowing that Japan and China are separate countries, or believing the myth that people with irish genetics absorb alcohol differently.

Or you can categorize 90% of third-world inhabitants as "bad people" for their uninformed presumptions about other races and call it a day.

Danaru posted:

"Racism is bad"
*The sound of glass shattering is heard as Je1 healthcare leaps through a window, the Um Actually signal lighting up the sky behind him*
"My grandmother isn't technically racist"

quote:

u/dontsufferfools245d
Bare with me, I’ll try my very best to keep this as short as possible.

My parents split when I was 23 and my sister was 20. They were such a poor match and I’m surprised they lasted so long, and both of us breathed a bit of a sigh of relief when they split. Everyone was immediately happier, and since then, both of our parents have found new partners.

I’ve always had a good relationship with my dad, albeit a bit of a strained one. My dad is a fair bit less politically correct than I am (and I am hardly PC at all, trust me). He calls things that are stupid or that he doesn’t like ‘gay’, he uses the word fag to describe gay people, thinks Hillary Clinton would be a bad president because ‘she’d nuke everyone on her period’ and laments that he can’t use the N word in public. He’s the epitome of out-of-touch late 50’s lily-white guy, is what I’m saying. I love my dad, and while these things bother me, there’s literally no changing him, so I have to just bare it when I’m hanging out with him. And, an important note is that while my dad says some sexist, homophobic poo poo, he NEVER does so in public. At the very least, he knows when to keep his opinions to himself and his family.

Recently, my dad’s been seeing this woman, let’s call her Iris. Iris has two kids as well, 29M and 27F. I don’t really know Iris very well, I ‘met’ her earlier this year at my dad’s place but only very briefly as I was dropping off a few things with my dad. My sister’s never met her before, and neither of us has met her kids before. My dad really likes this woman, so he wants all of us, both sets of kids to get to know each other and the parents so we can all ‘be a blended family’ (despite my dad’s political incorrectness he can be adorable sometimes)

So Dad invited us all out to dinner. My sister’s known to be a bit bristly with strangers so I told her to be on her best behavior, because I want our dad to be happy and I didn’t want to offend Iris or her kids. So we sit down and all start trying to get to know each other.

My Dad chose a Mexican restaurant to take us out to, because it’s our whole family’s favorite type of restaurant. My mom is Mexican, and growing up we had the most bomb-rear end authentic Mexican food all the time. Since my mom and dad split, my dad has been trying to fill the hole my mom’s great cooking left in his belly, so to speak, and is a taqueria-junkie! Also important to note; me and my sister, despite being half Mexican, have really white skin. We have obviously Mexican features (or at least I think they’re obviously Mexican) but everyone always assumes we are of white European descent because of the color of our skin.

So we sit down with Iris and her kids, and immediately her kids start complaining. These are grown rear end adults complaining that half of the menu is in Spanish. Next to each thing on the menu was the Spanish name and the English name, and all the descriptions were in English, so it wasn’t like an English speaker couldn’t read it!! I am near fluent in Spanish and my sister speaks passably, and we’re both in school to become English-Second-Language teachers, but we tried to settle the hair on the backs of our necks and ignore them. We actually manage to have a pleasant convo with them otherwise, until the waiter comes over to get our drink orders.

Iris’ son snapped at the waiter like a dog to get his attention and take his order first, and her daughter spoke in a highly condescending voice, very slowly, like this man working at a restaurant that caters to big fat white people couldn’t understand drat English! Iris was normal, thank god, but when the waiter (bless his jolly soul he was so kind despite being treated like an idiot by those two) left, her son remarked that he didn’t expect the service to be very good, “I don’t even know if he could understand us.” My Dad has been to this place before so he said “no, the service here is great, you’re going to love this food, I recommend (I can’t remember what exactly he recommended)!” trying to smooth things over, and then the son says “not like I could understand him either with that god awful accent! These people need to learn English if they want to come to America! Probably an illegal or some poo poo.”

Me and my sister are generally nice, kind people, but no one has ever accused us of being patient or suffering fools silently. So, because we’re petty, we just gave each other a look and started speaking only in Spanish to one another for the rest of the night. I felt bad, because Iris looked mortified, but it felt so good to be so petty for the next hour or so through dinner. We of course switched to English to talk to Iris or her kids, but with each other and my Dad, who can understand it but not speak it, we spoke the most rapid fluent Spanish we could muster. And at every opportunity my sister would try to mention that we were Mexicans and had grown up in a Hispanic household with our mom and her extended family.

Since then, my Dad’s been texting and calling us (mostly me because I’m usually the ringleader of these sorts of things) begging for us to apologize to Iris’ kids for embarrassing them. For embarrassing them!! I’m sure my Dad didn’t know they were going to be so racist towards Mexicans (or else I’m sure he wouldn’t have invited them to go out for Mexican food) but I know he doesn’t even think what they said was that racist. He’s said that ‘they could have been worse’ and ‘there was no need for you to humiliate them and Iris like that!’ I agree, Iris was lovely, I should have taken her feelings into account, and I have no problem calling or meeting her to apologize for acting so petty and childish, but drat it, I do not want to apologize to racists for pointing out and not taking their racism sitting down! Is that so wrong?

What should I do? Am I just being petty about this too? I don’t want to make my Dad unhappy but I know he’s not a good judge of what is and isn’t racism, and I don’t feel like I should apologize for slapping a couple of racist adult-brats
down.

TL;DR – Dad’s new girlfriend’s kids were racist against Mexicans, didn’t know sister and I are half Mexican, sister and I spoke nothing but Spanish to each other for the night to embarrass them, Dad now wants us(me) to apologize to them for embarrassing them. What do?

quote:

Good afternoon, folks. I usually post on this subreddit whenever I get into some stuff with some from the opposite sex and boy oh boy do I need some advice from random strangers!

Nevertheless, allow me to give you a very good jumping on point so that the story becomes much clearer to everyone who will read it.

As such, the story here begins in October of last year. This month was the month where I acquired my first job at my local movie theater and that is where I am still to this day. Furthermore, this was the month where I met the woman of the story. Let’s call her, Usagi Cool named after Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon.

Usagi Cool is someone from my abnormal psych class who sat next to an old friend of mine. Let’s call him Peter Payton. Anyway, I originally did not look at Usagi as a potential friend at that time.

However, when I played my screenwriter card, and she naturally showed some interest in it. Nonetheless, I am always willing to share my art with anyone because I like to show myself out like that. I do believe the seeds were planted from there as I soon discovered that she in fact worked near my place of employment.

It was cool to know that however I did not look at her as someone I would like to talk to because I was quite intimidated by her. She’s an extremely canny and intelligent fellow and because of that I could not come close to her.

Nevertheless, time progressed as the class ended and I did end up seeing her again at Target in early January where I caught up with her and nothing happened until late February. At this time, I was still hung up over someone and I knew that I had to break through and go out and fix the depression.

That day was a Sunday before my shift where I actually went into her workplace and got the digits! That was a great move on my behalf mostly because I did not do things like that before and boom! Just like that!
Subsequently, I actually set up a “date,” with Usagi for that Friday at good ole’ Starbucks.

Yet, as the days counted down to that awesome Friday “date,” I ultimately discovered that she was in relationship with a young man attending her future school here in California. I can break the laws of reality just a bit to tell the story I would like to tell, okay?!

Heartbreak City once again, folks! However, that Starbucks meet-up was the start of a very cool friendship between the two of us. And what transpired from February to May was the foundations of something really cool in my opinion. During this time, I stayed in the shadows, never getting overly emotional over a person I could not get with and in doing so, I do believe I was starting to learn somethings about relationships.

Yay me! Although, things begun to get really odd when we were exchanging texts on May 18th and I will quote on what she said.

“Ahh okay lol Can I talk to you about something?”

“Go ahead and shoot.”

“It’s extremely personal, but I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m thinking about officially ending it with my boyfriend.”

What followed was me thanking her for coming to me for solace so to speak which I did not mind one bit actually.

However, I do not have those texts anymore and I will basically tell you that it ultimately boiled down to me discovering the insidious deeds of the aforementioned boyfriend. He while the two were testing out the perspective of a possible open relationship status, slept with two other women while at UCLA. Once again, this is my story and I want it to take place in Los Angeles, alright?

Nonetheless, I naturally gave her a texting shoulder to cry upon as she finally went to bed. Soon after, I hung out with her on Saturday before my shift where I told her my piece on the subject because she was betrayed and I know that it is a stupid white knight move but when through with it and she agreed.

The other time was when I took her to go see Captain America: Civil War for my fourth and finally time in theaters. I love my job.

As such, it was cool and I got a hug from her which I do believe was the first time that we gave each other a hug. I broke the touch barrier!

At that time, I thought maybe it was the time to say something but I froze and could not do anything.

Spoiler warning, she ended up getting back with that idiot despite my odd attempts at warning her of the horrible outcome. Needless to say, I did not care anymore as we continued to talk because she is an excellent friend and I usually do enjoy spending time with her.

Everything stayed the same for the most part until this past Friday in which I did my visit before my four-hour shift. I could sense she was uneasy about something when I asked about her plans for the night in which she replied with a “I dunno, I’m going to hang out with someone tonight.” I asked if it was…Assclown I meant “Derek,” and she was mum on that subject.

Before leaving, I gave her a hi-five once again breaking the touch barrier and did my thing for the night. The following morning, I asked her about how she was doing, and I do in fact have the texts so I will quote the following.
“Are you doing okay?” “Sorry if I am being a worrywart but you seem kinda down and vague yesterday.”

“I’m doing pretty okay.” And that’s just because we were busy and my coworker wasn’t much help”

“Oh, Okie dokey pokey,” Nonetheless, as usual if anything is wrong, I’m there unless I have to go save the world or Los Angeles.”

“You’re not going to be happy until you’re at USC”

“Hahahah! But in all seriousness, I do get worried about you, Virgil and others and if I can help, then I will.

“I’ll be fine. I’m dealing with boy trouble and I trouble lol But all in all good. I’m excited about applying to the study abroad trip”

Subsequently, I was a bit curious about what she meant about boy trouble, so I chose to dig deeper and this is what she said.

“It’s cool, I’m just dating”

“Thank you! And I have been there’s 2 guys I’m talking to. But I’m really just interested in being single”

I have not found out who the two men are. Yet if I have to hazard a guess, I do believe that the two men could be Vegeta, her boss or Ichigo, a mutual friend of mine who used to work with me at the movie theater.

Funny thing about last Saturday is that she actually saw a movie with him and I was working during the mid-afternoon shift where I continued the discussion we had with the texts. I got a hug once again and it was a very intense one honestly. During this discussion, I found out that she FINALLY broke up that freakin' joke of a young man!

Or perhaps, I am one of the two?! I really do not know as I have not pressed the issue. I have been talking to her almost every day due to how close we are working distance wise and we chop it up over Snapchat and texts nonstop it seems and I do believe I should separate from her so that I may actually give myself a shot at her.

And now with this "Ichigo" dude, I feel like he is going to make a move very soon and I have to do something about it lest I want to fail yet again.

Though, I want to respect her wishes about staying single. So, what the hell should I do, Reddit? Go after Usagi Cool or stay Mr. Solo Dolo?

tl;dr: been talking with a cool girl, gotten close and now I want to date her but there are problems involved. What should I do?

quote:

i think you need to approach this like "Lelouche" calm and calculating. the problem isnt with this "ichigo" guy, the problem is with her, if she cant see how much you care for her then she isnt ready yet. if this "ichigo" guy does make a move and lands it then you just wait for him to fail, all the while staying present in her life, but not too present. this eliminates your chances in failing. once shes even more vulnerable you make your move. trust me im have aspd on the psychotic spectrum. it works every time

Streak posted:

i skipped right to the bolded text, read that, then here we are. not reading that poo poo, gently caress no

oh wait theres more bolded text than i thought gently caress all of that

quote:

On 29th December, our daughter Claire (who's home from halls in uni) brought home her boyfriend to meet us.

She told us she'd been dating him since early November, and he's 50, and works in the local chip shop. She said he's unmarried, got no kids, and lives in a council house. He's also Asian/Indian, if that's relevant, a Christian, but not practising.
It obviously can't be for the money, given his job and where he lives. Claire said she liked him as he was gentle, funny and had similar tastes in music; she also found his car pretty cool -even though it was a clapped-out old E-reg Vauxhall Cavalier, not quite a rustbucket, but tatty enough as it were!

The meal went OK, we didn't act judgemental, but the age gap concerns us: he's 33 years older than her. He's also 4 years older than her dad!

She's told us he's her soulmate, and wants to marry him in 2 years time when she graduates uni and have his kids and doesn't care what others think. I think she's not really considered the reality of age-gaps; as for me, our age gap is 2 years, which is nothing, I guess, to some, anyway.

My husband likes him, but it doesn't put off our daughter, if anything, it makes her like her boyfriend even more!

Our daughter does have career ambitions, she wants to work in business, at managerial level or some job organizing conferences, or writing about management for business journalism, like Management Today, so she at least knows what she wants.
How do we handle this sensitively? We only want the best for our daughter.

Update: She actually told me "I'm in it for the long-haul, I want him to be the father to my future kids, what the gently caress if I'm with him as a mum on benefits after uni? I don't give a gently caress."

Gaunab posted:

A girl hugged me at the bar last night. Is she interested in me?

Streak posted:

i went back and read like half the sailor moon post (baby steps) and lmao

then i googled a sentence from it, found the guys profile and holy gently caress what a dingus

he's a screenwriter:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4uwZPZ_5DPpbXpkOTJIdzQzeFE/view



there is more where this came from

e: i feel sad now. don't find this guys profile. holy gently caress.

Danaru posted:

I [24M] want to date with my friend [20F] but I don't know what to say or do about it.



I want to crawl into a woodchipper

RC Cola posted:

Am I racist for marrying a white woman? Asking for a friend

Zzulu posted:

Wait until the victim is vulnerable enough to lower her defenses. It could take months... years, even. But you must stay patient and vigilant. Eventually she will be exposed and susceptible...maybe then, she will consider you as a potential partner out of sheer desperation. That is your chance. That is your moment. That is what love is all about

Pvt.Scott posted:

Yes. While no one white person has to be racist, per se, each carries enough latent racism that any gathering of family or friends is de facto Racist As gently caress and should be reported to authorities. You'd have to kill her entire bloodline and likely friend pool, except that One of the Good Ones Token Black Friend, to be in the clear. If you're white yourself, that includes you. Sorry. Such is the White Man's burden.

RC Cola posted:

Thank God it's so easy to buy guns

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

The new girl at work shook my hand and smiled at me do I tell my girlfriend or take it to my grave

Danaru posted:

I [24M] want to date with my friend [20F] but I don't know what to say or do about it.



I want to crawl into a woodchipper

Streak posted:

i went back and read like half the sailor moon post (baby steps) and lmao

then i googled a sentence from it, found the guys profile and holy gently caress what a dingus

he's a screenwriter:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4uwZPZ_5DPpbXpkOTJIdzQzeFE/view



there is more where this came from

e: i feel sad now. don't find this guys profile. holy gently caress.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Barudak posted:

Now I think its bad to write human beings off entirely, but an 18 year old who is working to a university degree wants to be a white collar manager but is willing to abandon all that to live on public assistance to have a 53 year old fast food workers baby because his taste in music is good is probably not someone who should be in your will.

Barudak posted:

Now I think its bad to write human beings off entirely, but an 18 year old who is working to a university degree wants to be a white collar manager but is willing to abandon all that to live on public assistance to have a 53 year old fast food workers baby because his taste in music is good is probably not someone who should be in your will.

quote:

I [24M] dropped the baby [3 months] and my wife [25F] is still angry with me a whole week later.Non-Romantic

I dropped the baby and he face planted into concrete stairs. He would not stop crying all the way to the hospital. He's fine apart from just a couple of scratches. My wife is still angry with me, she won't let me pick him up at all.

tl;dr: wife is still angry at me for dropping the baby.

Dick Valentine posted: