PYF shit kids say: Video tape is ghost?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF shit kids say: Video tape is ghost?

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Alhazred posted:

One of the all time favorite songs in my kindergarten is the song about Little Piggy Farty:
Inside the pig pen there lives three pigs
daddy pig and mommy pig and little piggy farty
*oink* goes the daddy pig
*oink* goes the mommy pig
but the little piggy farty just goes *faaaaart*

Someone's got some real musical talent. I can hear the rhythm in that little tune just from reading it.

# ? Apr 4, 2019 18:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 6, 2024 12:07

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Cardiovorax posted:

Someone's got some real musical talent. I can hear the rhythm in that little tune just from reading it.

I'm just glad that that someone used his/her talent to make fart songs.

# ? Apr 4, 2019 19:51

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Had to cross-post from the WWE discussion thread because it's just too hilarious and definitely relevant

Jiro posted:

https://youtu.be/LS_-ZMcGnow

This is actually kind of adorable.

I'LL KICK YOUR BUTT TILL YOU FALL IN A LAKE!!!

# ? Apr 5, 2019 03:45

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

Had to cross-post from the WWE discussion thread because it's just too hilarious and definitely relevant

I loving lost it at "you'll be pooping toes for a week."

# ? Apr 5, 2019 10:04

Keystoned: Jan 27, 2012

Im not kidding. When im joking....

(Dramatic pause)

I say Knock. Knock.

# ? Apr 5, 2019 13:42

Beer_Suitcase: May 3, 2005; Verily, the whip is ghost riding.

The kiddo drew a "pretty lady" on the counter with eyeliner. I really dont want to ever clean it off.

# ? Apr 6, 2019 00:47

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Beer_Suitcase posted:

The kiddo drew a "pretty lady" on the counter with eyeliner. I really dont want to ever clean it off.

thats a super pretty lady omg

my brother drew my sister when he was idk 6 and she was 1? its the most adorable portrait, i gotta find that and post it

# ? Apr 6, 2019 01:20

Teketeketeketeke: Mar 11, 2007

Beer_Suitcase posted:

The kiddo drew a "pretty lady" on the counter with eyeliner. I really dont want to ever clean it off.

That's amazing. You clearly need to spray a clear coat of sending or other over it and maintain it forever.

# ? Apr 6, 2019 01:35

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

My daughter is five. This is what cats look like these days.

# ? Apr 6, 2019 01:42

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

That's a really cute kitty

# ? Apr 7, 2019 23:10

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

sweeperbravo posted:

That's a really cute kitty

I will pass the compliment along!

# ? Apr 8, 2019 06:56

Brightman: Feb 24, 2005; I've seen fun you people wouldn't believe.
Tiki torches on fire off the summit of Kilauea.
I watched disco balls glitter in the dark near the Brandenburg Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like crowds in rain.

Time to sleep.

To my 3 year old niece: "You like your big new bed, huh?"
Her: "Don't say 'huh', it hurts my back."
Me: "....'kay."

No one has an explanation for this, but it is apparently "a thing" with her.

# ? Apr 8, 2019 16:23

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

burial posted:

My daughter is five. This is what cats look like these days.

I feel like being a kindegarten teacher has kinda broken my brain, because when I see drawings like that all I can think of is "yes, this drawing is an example of how the kids development is on track".

# ? Apr 8, 2019 17:28

Kevyn: Mar 5, 2003; I just want to smile. Just once. I'd like to just, one time, go to Disney World and smile like the other boys and girls.

Brightman posted:

To my 3 year old niece: "You like your big new bed, huh?"
Her: "Don't say 'huh', it hurts my back."
Me: "....'kay."

No one has an explanation for this, but it is apparently "a thing" with her.

Maybe the �it hurts my back� part was a response to your original question.

Edit: what am I missing in the cat picture? That looks like an extremely normal child drawing.

# ? Apr 8, 2019 19:19

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Kevyn posted:

Edit: what am I missing in the cat picture? That looks like an extremely normal child drawing.

My point wasn't that it isn't normal but that child drawings is ones of the ways I track kid's development in my profession. And it has kinda broken my brain because that's one of the things I automatically think about when I see it.

Alhazred has a new favorite as of 19:54 on Apr 8, 2019

# ? Apr 8, 2019 19:45

Brightman: Feb 24, 2005; I've seen fun you people wouldn't believe.
Tiki torches on fire off the summit of Kilauea.
I watched disco balls glitter in the dark near the Brandenburg Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like crowds in rain.

Time to sleep.

Kevyn posted:

Maybe the �it hurts my back� part was a response to your original question.

Edit: what am I missing in the cat picture? That looks like an extremely normal child drawing.

She loves the bed but I'm also gonna admit that I forgot exactly what I said besides "huh" that brought it up so I just made up an example. Like it was either the bed, dolls, or a new outfit. Either way I asked about it and it was established that it's somehow just that word, and the running theory is it's some game she's made up that no one else knows the rules to.

The bed is actually kinda amusing since my dad moved back in with them causing a bed surplus, so now instead of a little kid bed she has a queen sized Tuft n Needle or Casper that she uses like 10% of maybe.

Also yeah, that's a pretty nice drawing of a cat.

# ? Apr 8, 2019 19:51

burial: Sep 13, 2002; actually, that won't be necessary.

Alhazred posted:

I feel like being a kindegarten teacher has kinda broken my brain, because when I see drawings like that all I can think of is "yes, this drawing is an example of how the kids development is on track".

I like it when teachers tell me things like this. It is comforting! So your curse is also maybe your gift is what I�m saying.

# ? Apr 8, 2019 20:29

Open Marriage Night: Sep 18, 2009; "Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"

Brightman posted:

She loves the bed but I'm also gonna admit that I forgot exactly what I said besides "huh" that brought it up so I just made up an example. Like it was either the bed, dolls, or a new outfit. Either way I asked about it and it was established that it's somehow just that word, and the running theory is it's some game she's made up that no one else knows the rules to.

The bed is actually kinda amusing since my dad moved back in with them causing a bed surplus, so now instead of a little kid bed she has a queen sized Tuft n Needle or Casper that she uses like 10% of maybe.

Also yeah, that's a pretty nice drawing of a cat.

My only guess is that maybe she thinks �huh� is the sound people with a bad back make when getting out of a chair.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 01:09

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

burial posted:

I like it when teachers tell me things like this. It is comforting! So your curse is also maybe your gift is what I�m saying.

Sometimes it feels like at least 85% of my job consists of telling parents that their kids isn't abnormal.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 17:01

Rollersnake: May 9, 2005; Please, please don't let me end up in a threesome with the lunch lady and a gay pirate. That would hit a little too close to home.; Unlockable Ben

My coworker's 5 year-old paid us a visit and was telling us how much she wants a flying lion. She'd ride it to school, because there are so many stoplights and she could just fly right over them. But you can't ride it if it's not trained. She also left a drawing in the break room that has... I'm not sure if it's the flying lion's face or the sun, another face with angry eyebrows, a bunch of people that she told me were fairies, and on the right she wrote:

I FOOD
YUM YUM

I LOVE FOOD
YUM YUM

Edit: She's back, and the face is indeed the sun, and the angry eyebrows guy is the moon, who is "angry 'cause he's sad." Also one of the fairies is an "ancient butterfly queen" who "nobody has seen, except in ancient times." She explained this while alternately eating tortilla chips and taking sips out of a little cup of nacho cheese.

Rollersnake has a new favorite as of 00:55 on Apr 11, 2019

# ? Apr 11, 2019 00:36

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Alhazred posted:

Sometimes it feels like at least 85% of my job consists of telling parents that their kids isn't abnormal.

Surprise, this is also true of teaching college.

# ? Apr 11, 2019 00:37

CaptainCrunch: Mar 19, 2006; droppin Hamiltons!

Rollersnake posted:

She explained this while alternately eating tortilla chips and taking sips out of a little cup of nacho cheese.

We have so much to learn from the young.

# ? Apr 11, 2019 04:47

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

One unintended consequence of having a really diverse kindergarten is that the kids with non-muslim parents have begun to prefer halal-sausages.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 16:09

marshmallow creep: Dec 10, 2008; I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

Are halal sausages beef or what?

# ? Apr 12, 2019 16:23

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

drat near anything except pork, so you can get halal mutton, lamb, beef or goat sausage in my local Turkish grocery store.

They're pretty good, but that says more about how completely lovely your average mass-produced pork sausage is, especially the kind of bottom-of-the-barrel stuff they buy for child daycare and schools.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 16:36

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Afaik, all chicken in Denmark is certified halal and kosher. Not sure about beef &c, but it wouldn't surprise me if a large part is as well.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 17:09

The Lord Bude: May 23, 2007; ASK ME ABOUT MY SHITTY, BOUGIE INTERIOR DECORATING ADVICE

I'm sure the fact they are halal is entirely incidental and the kids are expressing a preference for what are probably quality sausages made by real butchers with self respect for their craft, as opposed to cheap mass produced factory poo poo from the supermarket.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 17:35

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

The Lord Bude posted:

I'm sure the fact they are halal is entirely incidental and the kids are expressing a preference for what are probably quality sausages made by real butchers with self respect for their craft, as opposed to cheap mass produced factory poo poo from the supermarket.

We have actually gotten to the point where halal-products is also mass produced factory poo poo from the supermarket. I can't taste much difference between halal-salami and haram-salami for example.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 19:14

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

Alhazred posted:

We have actually gotten to the point where halal-products is also mass produced factory poo poo from the supermarket. I can't taste much difference between halal-salami and haram-salami for example.

Yeah your mom is also indiscriminate about salty meat.

# ? Apr 12, 2019 20:16

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

We're doing a poetry unit. Some of the kids have been writing poems about/to each other and exchanging them, which has been really cute and a nice way to make writing feel like authentic communication.

One kid who I scream at literally every day wrote me a poem. "Mrs. Bravo. She is the best teacher. She lets us play games after math and she has a big heart." :kiddo:

I'm not going to stop screaming at him but I'm glad he doesn't appear to take it personally

# ? Apr 14, 2019 21:45

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

i guess its ok if you scream "youre a good kid" or something like that

# ? Apr 14, 2019 22:20

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

sweeperbravo posted:

We're doing a poetry unit. Some of the kids have been writing poems about/to each other and exchanging them, which has been really cute and a nice way to make writing feel like authentic communication.

One kid who I scream at literally every day wrote me a poem. "Mrs. Bravo. She is the best teacher. She lets us play games after math and she has a big heart."

I'm not going to stop screaming at him but I'm glad he doesn't appear to take it personally

You need to scream louder

# ? Apr 15, 2019 02:33

Leave: Feb 7, 2012; Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

oldpainless posted:

You need to scream louder

More like oldinsidevoiceless.

# ? Apr 15, 2019 07:18

DemonDarkhorse: Nov 5, 2011; It's probably not tobacco. You just need to start wiping front-to-back from now on.

i asked my 6yo nephew where he went on his field trip
"Fart town."

# ? Apr 15, 2019 18:21

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

DemonDarkhorse posted:

i asked my 6yo nephew where he went on his field trip
"Fart town."

Elizabeth, New Jersey is a popular destination.

# ? Apr 15, 2019 19:49

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

I ran the book fair all day yesterday and had no planning time (our school is run by insane people, so I don't plan until the day before, because literally ANYTHING can happen to derail my day. Ask me about the time I had to quick-change ten screaming seven-year-olds, one with special needs, from their regular uniforms to their dress uniforms, and literally run them across campus for a "photo opportunity" that didn't happen until forty minutes after I was told to get everyone there in ten minutes or less. Don't actually ask me because that's the whole story.)

Anyways, got up at six to plan classes. Get to school, and a random child who speaks absolutely no English is "visiting" my class! So...it's the day they have six classes in English...cool. Like, I've done it before, that's barely even an eyelid flicker of a problem, but I was left sitting with a great lesson for my regular students and now I have to suddenly come up with TWO HOURS' worth of independent activities for this kid. In Spanish. Not my best work, I'm afraid, and so when it came time for me to teach "Personal Development," I said "let's celebrate Earth Month by drawing on the windows!"

So, I break out the window markers and tell them they may draw ANYTHING as long as it's related to nature, Earth, or the environment.

Excluding the flowers, fish, cats, etc, we have:
5 volcanoes
2 megalodons (one with the word "MALO" above it; A1 really does not like Megalodon)
1 banana (that looks like a crayon)
1 lion (that looks like a flower enemy from a Mario game)
Queen Whatever from the LEGO Movie (shapeshifted into a tree, so, nature)
1 dragon (with horse hooves)
2 butterflies (one of which looks like a penis...I can't explain it)

...and the banana is saying "EEEEEEE" for some reason, but at least the Es are pointing in the right direction.

I am not changing a thing because it is perfect.

Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 12:36 on Apr 24, 2019

# ? Apr 24, 2019 12:33

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

quote:

2 megalodons (one with the word "MALO" above it; A1 really does not like Megalodon)

Try to contact him again ten years from now. I wonder how he would feel to know that Shark Hater Kid was internationally famous on the internet when he was little.

# ? Apr 24, 2019 12:47