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May 29, 2024 23:51
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- gentle pete
- Feb 21, 2015
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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quote:My [21F] boyfriend [22M] is embarrassing in public.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year. I love him and he is very caring towards me. However, i am embarrassed of his behavior in public. I suppose it is good that he doesn't care what people think of him, but I am more quiet and reserved. There are several examples of this.
The other day we went out for pasta and there was a dish named "Spaghetti Aglio e Olio". Throughout the whole entire dinner he would just randomly say things like "spaghetti olio olio olio aglio olio" over and over again. After pasta we went to ice cream and as we were standing in line he kept on saying the same thing to the point where strangers were giving him weird looks. I tried asking him to stop but he wouldn't, and the random "spaghetti olio olio olio olio"s persisted.
Another example is today when we were waiting for our orders at the food carts. There is a song by Gorillaz called "Superfast Jellyfish", and he kept on saying superfast jellyfish over and over again. And sometimes he would change it to super fast curryfish (he was waiting for curry). So I am just standing there as my boyfriend is going " super fast jellyfish superfast superfast jellyfish curryfish". Its really embarassing. I asked him to just have a normal conversation with me but he just kept on going and going.
He does things like this all of the time and its really embarrassing. He will even make "BLEHH" noises randomly which makes random people give us weird looks. He does not stop when I ask and I am embarrassed whenever he tries to touch me in public, because I do not want to be dating the guy making obnoxious weird noises. I suppose it can be funny in private, but in public I feel like it annoys everyone around us. I have tried talking to him multiple times about this (he does not have any mental illnesses since he can behave perfectly normal if he chooses). It is getting so bad to the point where I want to leave him but I am not sure.
UPDATE: After I got off work I sat him down and asked him if he is in complete control of his behavior. His response was "sometimes". I proceeded to tell them that if he can not control it I want him to go get help and that I am willing to work with him on it. But, if he is in control and refuses to stop that we would be over. He seemed disinterested and told me that he is more concerned with signing up for classes than the conversation between us... Dang, that really says a lot.
TL;DR My boyfriend is embarrassing in public and refuses to stop.
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Mar 1, 2017 14:08
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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While I'll admit he's totally in the wrong and the weirdo and everything, her weird insisting that she only become pregnant via his first load is strange. Lady, any semen will work.
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Mar 1, 2017 14:51
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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While I'll admit he's totally in the wrong and the weirdo and everything, her weird insisting that she only become pregnant via his first load is strange. Lady, any semen will work.
for all the poo poo you've given me about the weird times i've played devil's advocate, haha
This guy sounds like he's on the spectrum or something. She already did the reasonable thing here and sat him down to talk about it, he just doesn't seem to care.
he could have tourettes as another poster pointed out, or like, really bad ADHD he's not medicated for, too
not her circus, not her monkey if he's not concerned about it, though, she's his girlfriend, not his mom (what i'm saying is she should probably dump him)
Mirthless fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Mar 1, 2017
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Mar 1, 2017 14:58
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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for all the poo poo you've given me about the weird times i've played devil's advocate, haha
That is no way playing Devil's advocate. Even if it is an illogical request, it's a reasonable one and it shouldn't have set him off into wacko abuser land.
But it is a weird request.
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Mar 1, 2017 15:00
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- Bonster
- Mar 3, 2007
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Keep rolling, rolling
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Welp...
quote:Update: I am (25F), my husband (25M) refuses to compromise on the order of our sex acts 3x a month.Updates
submitted 8 months ago by tmihelpthrowaway
I'm going to apologize in advance, this may be an unsatisfactory update after I went into so much detail last time. I really struggled writing it. I severely underestimated how painful and embarrassing it would feel seeing everyone discussing my life. I debated whether or not to update at all but this sub has been an incredible resource, even secondhand, for me throughout my life and I owe you that much.
I would like to clarify that I misspoke when I implied my husband was the only one who wanted to start trying to have kids. We mutually expressed interest in possibly conceiving before we were married, he didn't want them outside of wedlock, a wedding was his condition to have a serious discussion about it. I should have said something like "Now that we're both ready to start trying".
My husband and I had a very long conversation. The gist of it was that he's had issues with resenting women for perceived slights for a long time. He swears that he hasn't had those thoughts or urges towards me since early in our relationship when he realized I would not be "cruel or withholding" towards him. He said he tried not to think about debasing other women when we were together, but found it difficult when I wanted rougher play or was in a position where he couldn't see my face. He seemed confused that I'm not okay knowing he thinks those things about anyone.
He said that'd he'd been making a lot of progress but had been "triggered" by an incident at his bachelor party. Since then he'd been struggling with intense levels of those thoughts and urges again. He said he knew it was wrong to marry me without coming clean but only felt a tremendous amount of guilt about lying through omission once we were trying to have a child.
He said when I confronted him about improving our chances he felt backed into a corner and was "lashing out". He told me he didn't believe the things he said to/about me, but did with regards to other women.
At some points I felt like he was trying to lead me to the conclusion that his father's overreaction to an incident of "youthful curiosity" led to him associating predatory urges with sexual desires. I did not feel equipped to delve into that but it really smelled like bullshit to me.
Ultimately I decided that anything he said was irrelevant, my primary problem was that I could no longer trust myself to trust him. I also have been unable to envision having sex with him in the future. I'm unable to even remember feeling loved and safe while being intimate with him without feeling humiliated and disgusted.
I told him things of that nature and he just completely deflated and broke down. I felt very detached, almost like I suspected he was crying out of self-pity. I don't know if my feelings were truly warranted.
I told him all I could agree to was holding off on making a decision on whether or not to attempt moving forward in the relationship. I wanted no contact while we both went to therapy for six months. After six months I would have a discussion with him and his therapist and see how I felt then. He was very unhappy but agreed.
After he left he went to his parent's house and had an unbelievable altercation with his family. He physically attacked his elderly father and did not stop until his thirteen year old sister beat him repeatedly with a baseball bat, to the point he lost consciousness. She said she hit him "A lot. Like, I knew it was too much but he wouldn't stop."
A lot of disturbing stuff came to light as a result in the wake of that. The incident of "youthful curiosity" was severely underplayed and was not the only incident. Then I found out that even though he told me he'd never tried therapy his parents and a few relatives had paid for SIX years of it.
His parents expressed deep shame that they gave us their blessing to wed. They not only revoked it, they offered me his share of inheritance to pay for a future wedding to someone else.
I'm crazy about my in-laws and absolutely believe their version of this situation over his. I don't accept physical violence was an acceptable response to ANYTHING my FIL could have said, let alone what everyone agrees was said. I also feel like a lot of things my husband told me during our initial discussion were faerie truths.
Based on my FIL's shockingly uncharacteristic anger and shame towards his son I believe I still don't have the full picture of my husband's issues but I've seen enough. I'm acjhing for them, they have five other incredible and wonderful children, I don't really understand what happened with my husband.
Ultimately I believe my husband can overcome his issues but I don't feel he wants to change for himself. I'm not interested in being his prize for being a decent person.
I'm still planning on getting into therapy before anyone asks. Not only has this has really hosed me up but something must have been wrong before for me to get taken in like this.
tl;dr: update: I am divorcing him.
At least she has the support of her in-laws?
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Mar 1, 2017 15:19
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Welp...
quote:A lot of disturbing stuff came to light as a result in the wake of that. The incident of "youthful curiosity" was severely underplayed and was not the only incident. Then I found out that even though he told me he'd never tried therapy his parents and a few relatives had paid for SIX years of it.
His parents expressed deep shame that they gave us their blessing to wed. They not only revoked it, they offered me his share of inheritance to pay for a future wedding to someone else.
dude was a serial rapist
good god. what a nightmarish story. i don't even know where to start. i'm so glad she managed to get through that without him hurting her.
edit: oh jeeze, maybe not serial rape but uh
quote:He bribed a much younger child to engage in some kind of sexual act. His father caught him and threatened to disown him and turn him into the cops. The girl's family and my MIL didn't think that it warranted that as the girl seemed unharmed.
After extensive disagreements with his wife he agreed not to but informed all of my husband's aunts and uncles of what had happened, became very strict (only towards my husband), and tried to ensure his son was never unsupervised. quote:She was eight or nine, he was fourteen. He had implied they were the same age group but there's no way I would believe a fourteen year old genuinely felt so. When I was fourteen I was too cool to hang out with thirteen year olds. quote:Absolutely there was some denial happening. I don't blame them for being relieved and eager to believe it was behind them. My BIL did refer to the high school incident in a roundabout way once, my husband changed the subject and told me a heavily edited version later.
But honestly my in-laws are reserved, quiet, and English is their third language. We'd mostly talk about my plans, their family, or our shared hobbies and volunteer activities. They don't talk about their past much. The only time they've ever talked about my husband's childhood was to comment on his musical abilities.
But obviously being careful isn't a bad call for me to make here and I appreciate the thought. quote:He would not describe himself as a sexual predator but I would. He seems to think he is a victim.
yikes
Mirthless fucked around with this message at 15:32 on Mar 1, 2017
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Mar 1, 2017 15:25
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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My [21F] boyfriend [22M] is embarrassing in public.
Dude just needs to become a rapper. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZwhNFOn4ik
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Mar 1, 2017 15:29
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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rapping might not be a bad hobby to pick up if you like to rhyme and make weird noises all the time, tbh
could be a good outlet for his bullshit
another good hobby: aviculture. get all of your weird noises out on your parrots, they love that poo poo
I'm guessing this is shame code for violent sexual assault or rape.
check my edit, from comment digging, it was apparently soliciting sex from a pre-pubescent child
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Mar 1, 2017 15:37
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- Ensign Expendable
- Nov 11, 2008
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Lager beer is proof that god loves us
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Pillbug
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quote:
His parents expressed deep shame that they gave us their blessing to wed. They not only revoked it, they offered me his share of inheritance to pay for a future wedding to someone else.
Holy poo poo, now that's something you don't see every day.
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Mar 1, 2017 15:46
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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rapping might not be a bad hobby to pick up if you like to rhyme and make weird noises all the time, tbh
could be a good outlet for his bullshit
another good hobby: aviculture. get all of your weird noises out on your parrots, they love that poo poo
check my edit, from comment digging, it was apparently soliciting sex from a pre-pubescent child
Honestly, I do a similar thing to what that guy does. I just incorporate it into the lyrics of a song and sing a snippet a few times to myself to get rid of it or make it part of a dumb in-joke me and my brother use with each other, not other people. It's not really an uncontrolled public embarrassment thing though. More of an absent-minded tic that happens sometimes while reading or watching/listening to something. Some word combinations are just weird, man. I also use it as an excuse to sing to my dog.  After punching her right in the teeth first, of course.
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Mar 1, 2017 15:57
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- 54 40 or fuck
- Jan 4, 2012
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No Yanda's allowed
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Oh god just put that guy down like a dog already
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Mar 1, 2017 16:05
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- RNG
- Jul 9, 2009
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Thank you to whoever posted r/MRP (married redpill) a while back.
One week in MRP, I think I might have done this too much too soon. please advise
quote:
Let's get straight to the point:
I am 26 M, typical bluepill and I have been in LTR for 3 years now (1.5 year living together) with a hot sweet girl. 6 months ago I got a generous offer from a reputable private equity firm 600 km away, and moved out. we decided to have a long distance relationship.
I have never read TRP (before last week) but I have been listening to youtube podcasts of a guy named "Coach Corey Wayn" who is preaching some of TRP materials, and it was, in part, thanks to him that I got my current gf.
It wasn't until this week that I realised I am in a "unhealthy" relationship as I am not really acting as a man: I am letting her make many decisions, I apologize to her just to end and argument, I fail her poo poo tests...as I said, typical bluepill.
On the other hand I am pretty focused on my career at the moment and, I think, that is maybe the only reason she is still with me as it helps me pass "some" poo poo tests, even if I am not aware of them.
Today was my first try at using what I learned in TRP:
Context: she is going to buy a car, 5 minutes before she met the salesman, I talked to her in the phone and told her to ask him about typical stuff such as technical inspection, intervention history of the car... She doesn't know poo poo about this stuff, asks anyway and didn't understand what the salesman threw at her. She ended up looking like a an unexperienced, unprepared and fake buyer.
She swarms out of the dealership, calls me and start bitching about how I didn't prep her for the sale, and finally blamed me for ever telling her to ask about the stuff.
My reaction: before I would just bear it, hang up and talk to her when she cools off. But today I didn't, I decided to test TRP.
I calmly asked her if she is angry with herself or me. She said she is angry with both and started bashing me again. Right then I stoped her, told her, angrily, that its no manner to talk to me, that its her fault if she wasn't prepared and that she is responsible for her actions. I let her know (quite aggressively - is that good?- ) that I will not hear anymore of her banter and if she wants to discuss this calmly we can, else I am not interested; she then tried to say something loudly and I hang up!
10 minutes go by and she calls me again, this time way calmer, she told me that she doesn't understand why I did what I did and that the way I reacted was violent. I said that I wasn't interested in discussing my reaction,but I will gladly discuss her inconsiderate action. She tries to reel from that subject and discuss my reaction but I didn't cave, then ended the conversation said bye and hang up She's staying with me because I have money, well, that means the power's in my hands if she wants to keep the cash coming in. Time to Redpill her and make sure she knows who's boss! w...w...wait, she actually cared about me respecting her?  oh god redpill WHAT DO "
it's great that he went to the MRP board instead of just the normal TRP board, I guess he wanted to be absolutely sure he was getting advice from people who were either just coming out of failed relationships, or in the process of failing relationships
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Mar 1, 2017 16:27
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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The Red Pill guys are insane, but the married ones are really awful, it's basically a manual of "how to abuse your wife."
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Mar 1, 2017 16:27
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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tbh with the sheer amount of "my wife left me and won everything in divorce court" stories you'd think people would have figured out that TRP people are not very good at relationshipping by now
The Red Pill guys are insane, but the married ones are really awful, it's basically a manual of "how to abuse your wife."
RedPillWomen is even worse, it's like a cattle pen of women (mixed in with lots and lots of sockpuppets, of course) with stockholm's syndrome trying to convince other women that abuse is cool and good
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Mar 1, 2017 16:28
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Read till the end for a great surprise-but-not-really reveal that I bolded.
I [24M] was dating my girlfriend [24F] for almost 4 years to learn that she was cheating on me with her boss [36M] for ~4 months
quote:u/Throwaway75395145682y
I met my girlfriend in college. I only knew her for half a year before we started dating, but I got to know her quite well during that time period, because we were both actively involved in the same student organization. I can't speak for her (especially now), but she was everything I ever wanted, both physically and in personality.
Unfortunately, there's always a catch. I had already accepted a job offer in another part of the country. Upon graduation, our relationship became long distance. This wasn't a huge problem; we saw each other in person twice or thrice a year, and, even otherwise, we were constantly on Skype. We probably talked and, in a sense, spent more time together, than most non-long distance couples our age. We had a minor issue about 6 months after I left (I got jealous of another guy who constantly followed her around, even though I believed she had no interest in him), but I'd like to think we made it through, stronger than ever.
A couple years after I started working, so did she. Her job was halfway across the world, and she had to be there for the next 5 years. This was something we both knew going into our relationship, but I was committed to her no matter what. Such long distance relationships always suck, but I was willing to endure it to be with the girl of my dreams. Despite the time difference, we continued to talk to each other a lot. In fact, before the cheating began, I think we were talking daily, or at least close to it. I would just go to work late as long as I didn't have a meeting I couldn't take from home. On the weekends, we could do anything, but we still spent a significant chunk of time talking to each other.
To preface the cheating incidents, I should mention that her boss started hitting on her a little over a year ago, just weeks before he was getting married. She told me about this, and she also told me that she rebuffed his advances, telling him to do the right thing. I accepted that this was a momentary indiscretion on his part--some premarital case of cold feet. Looking back on it, I should have tried to separate them in vain back then. She apparently liked him to some extent, not romantically, but as the older brother she always wanted but never had.
He apparently ignored her for a while after that. Eventually, he must have stopped closing himself off to her, and she felt that she got that brother-sister relationship with him she'd always wanted. I didn't have a problem with it. In fact, I was not going to make the same mistake getting jealous of a friend without good reason; I'd done that previously (as mentioned above), and it unnecessarily strained our relationship at that point in time, but I'd learned from my mistake. I think I've always been supportive of her having her own friends, male or female; she'd expressed the importance of friends to her at the beginning of our relationship, and I was more than happy to let her have them. I'd actually be more concerned if she didn't.
Last week, she confessed that she had been cheating on me with him. I had to ask a lot of questions to learn the details after she told me this, but apparently the cheating started about 6 months ago, lasting approximately 4 months. Going by my timeline, this means that it started well after she knew I'd be visiting her in the winter on a trip that I thought we'd both been looking forward to so much, ending not too long before I got there. They apparently never got to fourth base (I believe her), but everything else was fair game.
I never saw this coming. In fact, she did something before dating me that convinced me that she could never cheat on anybody behind their back. We had previously talked about our limits regarding our (romantic?) relationships with others. The most she was OK with for me was giving or receiving a kiss on the cheek, neither of which I ever really wanted or availed of. For me, I was OK with whatever relationship she wanted with a girl, but nothing romantic with a guy; I mean... if she swung that way, it's not like I can really compete. Furthermore, I hardly think myself a perfect person, but I do think that I've done the very best I could to make her happy over the years, because she was the most important person in my life. If I knew about anything that really bothered her, I would have tried to fix it. We had some issues during my visit, but she attributed them to stress, which I accepted then (I'm much less accepting of the explanation now). My confidence was fully restored because we talked about some of the issues and how we would address them going forth, before she broke it to me that she had been cheating.
The conversation after I heard the news was terrible. She wanted an open relationship, but that's not something I can agree to when we both didn't establish it from the outset. She doesn't want to give up an emotional connection with the guy, but I strongly believe that the physical part was more an afterthought on her end, anyway (not to say that it makes it acceptable to me, because things would feel much simpler to fix if their relationship had never gotten to the physical realm to begin with). And, to be clear, I hate her boss now, and I also view him as an objectively bad person (much worse than her, a bad influence, straight-up nonredeemable). He's married, he initiated things, and he hasn't come clean to his wife. We agreed to cut off contact for a bit over a month, at my request, so at least my emotions are a bit more stable, but I still don't know what to do.
I know what I think I want, but I won't explicitly state it for now, since I want a more uninfluenced opinion. Maybe I'll edit it in, later. I've also intentionally omitted the details of our relationship in the past 6 months, since they could not have been the cause of the initial cheating.
tl;dr: Girlfriend cheated and came clean. Now I don't know how to proceed. Can our relationship still survive and thrive?
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Mar 1, 2017 16:30
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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tbh with the sheer amount of "my wife left me and won everything in divorce court" stories you'd think people would have figured out that TRP people are not very good at relationshipping by now
Well obviously that means they have to double down on controlling those greedy bitches so they don't lose their money!
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Mar 1, 2017 16:32
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Has a real life woman ever responded well to that red pill poo poo? Being an rear end in a top hat with a steely resolve to never concede anything to a woman isn't a magic trick.
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Mar 1, 2017 16:32
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Yeah buddy, your relationship can be saved much like a zombie is alive.
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Mar 1, 2017 16:34
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- Mirthless
- Mar 27, 2011
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by the sex ghost
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Read till the end for a great surprise-but-not-really reveal that I bolded.
I [24M] was dating my girlfriend [24F] for almost 4 years to learn that she was cheating on me with her boss [36M] for ~4 months
you live on other sides of the country from each other, you were already stretching trying to make it work in the first place, just end the loving relationship dude
whether or not you agree to the open relationship she is 100% going to continue loving this guy
Has a real life woman ever responded well to that red pill poo poo? Being an rear end in a top hat with a steely resolve to never concede anything to a woman isn't a magic trick.
a surprising number of women respond well to redpill poo poo because they've been socially conditioned to do so
common abuse tactics are common because they work. TRP is basically a community for sharing the most effective ways to abuse your partner.
Mirthless fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Mar 1, 2017
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Mar 1, 2017 16:35
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Has a real life woman ever responded well to that red pill poo poo? Being an rear end in a top hat with a steely resolve to never concede anything to a woman isn't a magic trick.
Abused ones kinda agree for a while if you don't look into the sadness of their eyes I guess
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Mar 1, 2017 16:36
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- Splicer
- Oct 16, 2006
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from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
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Read till the end for a great surprise-but-not-really reveal that I bolded.
I [24M] was dating my girlfriend [24F] for almost 4 years to learn that she was cheating on me with her boss [36M] for ~4 months
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Mar 1, 2017 16:36
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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150lb at 5'8" is underweight? poo poo...
It's a healthy weight.
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Mar 1, 2017 16:38
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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A pair of 20-24 year olds promise to only have sex two or three times a year. Wait... it didn't work???
I was honestly slightly bored with the premise and then I got to the "two or three times a year bit" and went "THERE WE GO" out loud to a room full of nobody.
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Mar 1, 2017 16:39
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- feedmegin
- Jul 30, 2008
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Interracial couples are p uncommon and I would just say that they were both expressing sentiments that the vast majority of people have whether they're willing to admit it or not, it's super weird to get so bent out of shape about it imo.
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
Hello hi I am in an interracial marriage and in this thread *spooky noises*
It's not actually that uncommon assuming you don't literally live in Naziville, Mississibama.
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Mar 1, 2017 16:46
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 23:51
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Has a real life woman ever responded well to that red pill poo poo? Being an rear end in a top hat with a steely resolve to never concede anything to a woman isn't a magic trick.
Redpiller material is weird. There's a surprising amount of genuinely good relationship advice dressed up in really toxic language and attitudes, so people who don't buy into the dogma whole hog may accidentally wind up doing ok in their relationship and chalk it up as a success.
Take that dealer advice story, for example. I know we're probably not getting the whole story but it sounds like he was put in a legitimately unfair situation by his girlfriend. If he hadn't lost his temper, his initial response could have been a pretty good way to talk through it--if he had managed to stay calm and had a grown up discussion that defused the situation, he would undoubtedly have come back with a "Yeah man I held frame and put her in her place!! Red pill is great!!" type post.
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Mar 1, 2017 17:16
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Mar 1, 2017 13:16
rollercoaster
Cat Army 
