/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

She ground him down so much his dick is now a stub.

Guess it's time for a teeny tiny cage.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:19

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:27

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My [18F] sister [17F] hooked up with a guy last night. She has a boyfriend

Tell your mom cause thats some fuckin rudeness to bang in her bed.

Also, tell her way cooler sounding boyfriend your concerns, see if you can leverage it into some sweet global schwag.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:22

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

And then bang the boyfriend to teach your sister that it hurts to be cheated on :getin:

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:30

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

You guys need feminism. There's nothing wrong with a man crying and it's not weird that his first emotion isn't anger; in fact that's a good thing.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:30

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

"A victim of terrible emotional abuse is crying, lol, what a loving sadsack loser" - Moridin.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:32

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My [18F] sister [17F] hooked up with a guy last night. She has a boyfriend

She should tell her mom and her sisters boyfriend because her sister seems obnoxious.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:35

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My [18F] sister [17F] hooked up with a guy last night. She has a boyfriend

I think this one kinda depends on how close they are to the BF.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:36

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

WampaLord posted:

"A victim of terrible emotional abuse is crying, lol, what a loving sadsack loser" - Moridin.

goddamn right what are you gonna do about it CASHT ME OUTSIDE

Gaunab posted:

You guys need feminism. There's nothing wrong with a man crying and it's not weird that his first emotion isn't anger; in fact that's a good thing.

I mean look, again, there's nothing wrong with a man crying - if however your entire coping process is "cry, feel a bit better, suppress everything else and internalize what is happening, do what abuser says, repeat" then there is a problem.

He did eventually have /r/relationships tell him "bro wtf leave her dumb rear end" and he did and great! Hopefully he learns from this so that god forbid if he finds himself in a similar situation in the future he will recognize it earlier and be proactive rather than just reacting to what the abuser is doing to him.

Nothing wrong with crying, but that needs to then be accompanied by action to resolve the problem or you're just wallowing in it and solving nothing. That applies to a man or a woman or anyone. If you're just crying all the time that's a pretty good indicator something is wrong. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to kick you in the butt, ofc.

e: some of it is def me projecting myself into that situation and probably imagining my reaction which admittedly probably would involve an unhealthy dose of anger :shrug:

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Mar 1, 2017

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:37

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Gaunab posted:

She should tell her mom and her sisters boyfriend because her sister seems obnoxious.

I was all "Why do you care about your idiot sister's stupid drama? Just ignore it!" until her sister was loudly doing it in their mom's bed, didn't do the dishes, or worst of all, didn't replace the sheets. Let her gross rear end burn. :getin:

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:42

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Dad fat, so what?

I'm [24M] worried about my dad's [47M] health after getting re-married to a "chef" [39F]

quote:

u/relationshipthrow2471y
My parents got divorced a few years ago. It was probably for the best and they're still good friends.

My dad quickly got remarried. I like my new step-mother well enough, and she makes him happy, so that's great!

But I'm concerned for my dad's health, and for that of my new step-mom. My dad's family has struggled with heart disease for as long as I can remember, and probably before that as well. As a kid in elementary school, there was more than one occasion where I was called out of class to go to the hospital to visit my grandfather who'd had a heart attack. Then, when I was 14, my dad had a terrible pain in his chest one night. I'm not sure what the problem was, but I just remember my mom telling me it was kind of like a "mini-heart attack."

My dad has struggled with his weight as an adult with kids. When he was younger he was in great shape, being in the Army and Coast Guard. But as we got older, and he moved to an office job and commuted a lot, he packed on the weight.

After the incident where he had heart complications, it became abundantly clear that there was a problem with his health. He took it seriously for a while, working out and eating right, and he looked great.

Since getting remarried, though, he has really let himself go. He married a woman who graduated from a culinary institute and prides herself on her southern-style home cooking. On any given night they're posting on facebook photos of chicken fried steak and potatoes, smothered in gravy; 7 cheese mac and cheese casserole; heavy alfredo sauces; bacon wrapped cream cheese jalapenos. She's a pastry chef as well, and runs a cake business out of the house, so there are always desserts loaded with sugar in the house and they often joke about how you can't have just one. It's not that the food doesn't look GREAT, it's just that there's no moderation at all. My dad has put on probably 60-75 pounds in the last 8 months. My step-mom, who was big when he married here, has also put on even more weight.

I'm very concerned for their health. My dad's getting older and he won't be around forever. I feel like my stepmom could be cooking delicious, healthy food but instead continues to use heavy creams, fats, cheeses, tons of mayonnaise... it's disheartening. I don't want my dad to get sick anytime soon, I'd really like him to be able to join me on vacations with his grandkids when the time comes in the next 10-15 years.

How do I approach them and tell them I'm concerned with their eating habits and their health, without insulting them? My dad is very understanding and he and I are like best friends, so he would understand, but I don't know how to approach my new stepmom who continues to feed the family such a terrible diet every night.

tl;dr: My dad married a woman whose primary hobby is cooking about two years ago and she feeds the family delicious but nutritionally terrible food every night. He's got a history of heart disease and is putting on weight fast, and I'm worried about his health. How do I let them know I'm worried without offending them or insulting her cooking?

Let the man die fat and happy, he's seen enough of this gay earth.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:44

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Yeah that dude is gonna have a heart attack and soon.

quote:

He married a woman who graduated from a culinary institute

yeah yeah so she can do some prep and maybe i can trust her to do uniform cuts

:smugdon:

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:48

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

WampaLord posted:

"A victim of terrible emotional abuse is crying incessantly, while doing nothing to even slightly improve his situation except write a novel for reddit about how much he cries. Lol, what a loving sadsack loser" - Moridin and also people who aren't insecure goons.

Ftfy

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:51

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

KomodoWagon posted:

Ftfy

Ah yes forums poster komodowagon, well renowned for being a barometer of healthy emotional expression

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:53

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

KomodoWagon posted:

quote:
"A victim of terrible emotional abuse is crying incessantly, while doing nothing to even slightly improve his situation except write a novel for reddit about how much he cries. Lol, what a loving sadsack loser" - Moridin and also people who aren't insecure goons.
Ftfy

quoted for posterity

pretty sure KomodoWagon is either a kissless virgin or born-again incel from his posts in other threads so maybe we shouldn't take his opinions on relationships too seriously

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:54

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Mirthless posted:

quoted for posterity

pretty sure KomodoWagon is either a kissless virgin or born-again incel from his posts in other threads so maybe we shouldn't take his opinions on relationships too seriously

He had one of those virginity restoring ceremonies they have at evangelical churches

# ? Mar 1, 2017 22:57

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Mirthless posted:

quoted for posterity

pretty sure KomodoWagon is either a kissless virgin or born-again incel from his posts in other threads so maybe we shouldn't take his opinions on relationships too seriously

That's a new one. I guess if you want to pretend I've posted misogynist things you can do that.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:04

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I was all "Why do you care about your idiot sister's stupid drama? Just ignore it!" until her sister was loudly doing it in their mom's bed, didn't do the dishes, or worst of all, didn't replace the sheets. Let her gross rear end burn.

If you dont change the sheets your laundry gets aired.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:05

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I [24F] get frustrated when my boyfriend [26] claims to be crazy.

quote:

Sorry for the length. I�ve been in and out of therapy my whole life. I�ve had really bad anxiety since I was really little, and developed depression when I was 10. I was in and out of day and in-patient programs from 12-15 for suicidal ideations and self-harm. I�m doing very well now. I still have my moments, and usually winters are pretty hard for me, but I can function very well and have been flourishing since leaving my parent�s house and graduating college. In college I was also diagnosed with very (very) mild Tourette�s. I have a couple of tics that some people have commented my whole life, but I didn�t think much of it until I had it happen during a presentation. It was pretty embarrassing since it�s facial and kind of makes me look� unhinged?
My Dad (60) has Asperger�s and my little brother (21) has straight autism, but it was much more severe than it is now. He also used to have tics when he was younger, but he grew out of his. I�ve don�t believe I have autism (though everyone falls on a wide enough spectrum, I suppose), but I�ve spoken with my therapist and she agreed that I might have some small autistic traits and characteristics, nothing huge. There could be a genetic component as well as environmental through my dad was not around much growing up.
I�m not going to pretend I know a ton about psychology or anything, because I don�t. I�ve just been on the receiving end and most of that was in my teenage years, and always push for professional consults if someone believes their life is being negatively affected by these types of things.
The issue is my boyfriend Joe, who I�ve been with 3 years, and has issues of his own. From my perspective, probably ADHD (I haven�t shared this thought with him so he doesn�t try to sway a doctor, but his mom and 2 siblings have been diagnosed), some anxiety and depression. I�ve expressed these thoughts with him and he agrees and also thinks he needs help to manage sometimes. I�ve pushed him to go to a therapist, and a psychiatrist to get a solid diagnosis and plan but he�s been putting it off for over a year now. Combination of finances, what I think is the possible ADHD, as well as general laziness.
Joe and I are both your typical bleeding hearth, liberal, feminist pieces of poo poo. We are both on Tumblr and have generally the same overall opinions on social issues. I�m a little more radical than him in some ways, but I get annoyed with Tumblr slacktivism and victim complexes about everything, while he�s more understanding and forgiving to that group even when he doesn�t always agree. I�m not very Tumblr active as I used to be years ago, I�ll just scroll through my phone on the way to work. I�m unsure of what kind of stuff he reads and how much he�s on.
Anyways, to shorten this, lately (the past year or so) I have a feeling he�s been �playing up� his issues for sympathy and attention. I�m not sure for who. He claims to have misophonia, and when he hears a noise he doesn�t like he�ll tell me his �misophonia is acting up�. He�s also been telling people he has trichotillomania since he plucks out his beard hair sometimes. Granted, it can leave patches, forcing him to shave. Sometimes he�s even been imitating my biggest tic with increasing frequency.
I don�t want to be a dick and outright say he�s faking stuff, but I do believe he�s playing things up to seem more interesting maybe? I think the hair picking is anxiety-related, but I find claiming the labels for these disorders without ever speaking to a doctor entirely misguided. When he refers to himself as �crazy� because he�s been plucking his beard it drives me up the loving wall. I don�t define myself by my issues or anything, but when you�ve been in the hospital as much as I was, or were on so many prescriptions and seeing so many doctors you can�t even attempt to remember their names or faces, or think that your mind is actually tearing at the seams, it does give make me think in crass terms of �you can�t call yourself that yet, stop�. But it makes me hate myself because there obviously is no threshold for mental illness. Maybe I�m just up on my high-horse because I�m more of an �experienced� crazy person, but I�m wary of people who think any of this is cool in some way.
Should I say something, or should I just work though my own problems I have with it? How would I even bring this up without sounding like an accusatory rear end in a top hat?
tl;dr I have long history of mental and emotional issues and treatments for them. I�ve been encouraging my boyfriend to see a professional about his own, but instead I think he�s fallen into Tumblr mindset of self-diagnosing �weird� conditions instead.

At least she is extremely self-aware. Also if he does have undiagnosed ADHD, that would be a very good explanation for his behavior.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:10

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

Nazzadan posted:

I [24F] get frustrated when my boyfriend [26] claims to be crazy.

At least she is extremely self-aware. Also if he does have undiagnosed ADHD, that would be a very good explanation for his behavior.

She should force him to go to a doctor or shut-up, but she'll probably just put up with it and roll her eyes behind his back.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:27

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Zeroisanumber posted:

She should force him to go to a doctor or shut-up, but she'll probably just put up with it and roll her eyes behind his back.

She's kind of backed herself into a corner because she's spent so much time in communities where doubting someone's emotions/experiences is borderline abuse. Calling him on his bullshit would basically be reneging on all of that.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:43

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Leon Einstein posted:

^^^
Not wanting to travel is weird and unattractive imo.

I would dump a girl if she expressed zero interest in international (or intranational) travel. It points to a frankly unacceptable (to me) complacence and lack of curiosity.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:46

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

KomodoWagon posted:

That's a new one. I guess if you want to pretend I've posted misogynist things you can do that.

you pretty frequently post your opinions on women's sexual agency and they are pretty alarmingly misogynist, yeah

you don't have to outwardly hate women to come across as an incel bitter at the women who won't have sex with you (and the men they are loving)

ArbitraryC posted:

She's kind of backed herself into a corner because she's spent so much time in communities where doubting someone's emotions/experiences is borderline abuse. Calling him on his bullshit would basically be reneging on all of that.

yeah, this is true, leftbook and tumblr go nuts about people denying other's mental illnesses. it's usually appropriate to get mad at people for ableist poo poo like that but sometimes it's obvious and even then it's really Not OK in those circles.

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Mar 1, 2017

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:48

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Intranational sure, but I wouldn't really fault someone for not giving a gently caress about ever wanting to see Berlin or something. Not wanting to take a trip to Yosemite, Yellowstone, etc. is being lazy as gently caress though and boring.

Speaking of travelling
Irrationally mad at BF's parents for booking us a long trip to visit them. [26&34] (Long rant)

quote:

BF & I have been together for 2 years, friends for 5+. We live about 20 hrs by car from his hometown (3+ hr flight as there are no direct flights). I went with him to visit his parents a few months into our relationship. Then they came to visit us 6 months later. Then, 7 months later we visited them again. Now, a year from the last visit, they wanted us to come again.
We both work two jobs and have weird schedules so I insisted on booking them so we can minimize our time off of work. There is no way to switch the schedule so it's pretty much a pay cut for every day we are off. We also work 12+ hour days at 15-20/hr so it's a big chunk of money gone, not a 4 hr minimum wage shift. Either Weds-Sun or Thurs-Mon is best for us so we would just have to miss one day of work each and use sick days for the rest.
They wanted to pay for our tickets so I let them know I would book them and they could reimburse me with a check or whatever when we got there. It's about $700 round trip total, so not a huge cost.
Well, I find out last night that they bought our tickets without us knowing. The booked them WEDNESDAY til MONDAY which means two days off each, @ ~17.50 hr x 12+ hours. That is a lot of money to us (over $840 pre tax). Not only that, but they booked them to depart from a town that is a solid hour and a half drive, not to mention the time it takes to park at an airport. We depart Weds at 6:30am, and arrive back home Monday at 9:30pm. The day before we leave we are both working from around 10am til midnight, and the day after we get back we are working 7am til 9pm and then I babysit through the night until I take the kids to school and go to my OTHER job the next morning. So, no time to sleep, no time to relax, just flying and driving.
Let me break this down for you:
Get off of work at 12am.
Leave the house by 3:30am. Get into town at 5:00am. Parking and shuttling to the airport takes about 30 mins. We don't land until almost 11am their time (1hr difference). They will want to immediately go to lunch. They do this every time.
Spend 5 nights in their guest room. They wake up at 5am to go hang out with their horses and are back by 9. They expect us to be up and ready by then which isn't a HUGE deal since I work early almost every day.
Land at 9:30pm. Get to our car ~10:30pm. Arrive home at 12am.
Wake up at 7am, work til 9pm. Babysit from 9:30 til 8am (single dad works graveyard shift). Work from 10am til 10pm. Almost 2 entire days away from home
My boyfriends stance on this is "well I TOLD them about work but they swear I didn't...". These are nonrefundable tickets. I am pissed. Well, I am beyond pissed. I called them to let them know how uncool it was (as nicely as possible of course) and they cite money as the issue. These people are upper middle class. $700 is not going to put them back. When looking at the tickets vs. what I was going to book, there was a $25 price difference.
I don't think they did this maliciously or anything but they are really making this trip start out on a sour note. Sure I can have a good attitude about it, but I know they aren't going to want to let us take a nap when we get there and they always have something for us to do. It's not a vacation at all. We may go out to dinner, but 90% of the questions are going to be about when we are getting married or having babies (answer: never). It's hard to keep a good attitude when I don't really want to go on the trip in the 1st place, and now it's going to be a sleepless hassle in between two long work days and a two day pay cut.
So where does this leave me? I am almost tempted to buy out my ticket and tell them I can't do it. BF will be upset, sure, but he'd get over it. I am going to lose a bunch of money, and while I make a lot, it's to pay off student loans and other debt mistakes, not to live large popping bottles and doing coke off stripper's asses.
What can I do about this? There is 0 way to change my schedule. Doing so will gently caress my employees over (not having a manager around will cause 10x more work for them at little pay), and gently caress my boss over (the single dad). I know BF told his parents about the work schedule because I heard him and then took the phone and told them I would book the tickets the day after they ended up booking them.
tl;dr Boyfriends parents booked us a hell-trip. Read the break down and feel sad for me. What can I do?

Comments

quote:

It's about $700 round trip total, so not a huge cost.
~17.50 hr x 12+ hours. That is a lot of money to us (over $840 pre tax)
What?
EDIT: On further reading, you sound really entitled and bitchy. His parents sound nice.

quote:

What you can do is adjust your attitude. poo poo happens in life and you can either roll with it or fight it which usually ends up making the situation worse.
Yeah, it sucks losing the extra pay, not getting enough sleep and not being in control of this vacation, but you can't undo what's been done unless you're willing to fork out more money and change the flight times.
Don't take your feelings out on your BF and expect him to get over you acting vindictive because you refuse to adjust to the situation.
You have two options: continue being pissy and ruin everyone's vacation; or get over it and make the best of the situation. Since you're close enough to share your disappointment with his parents, call them up and request that they drop you off at the house to take a nap instead of going out for lunch.

quote:

Suck it up and stop the temper tantrum. By the sounds of it you deserve to be lead around like a child anyway.

quote:

Nap on the plane. Is this a foreign concept??
How long did it take you to book tickets? Did they ask a month ago, and then just take it into their own hands when it became clear that you were dragging your feet?
And also - your life doesn't revolve around work or money. Your job will function just fine without you for two days - and if it can't? Then something is seriously wrong with the way they do business. They managed without you before you worked there, don't forget.
Get over yourself. I don't feel badly for you at all.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:49

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Play posted:

I would dump a girl if she expressed zero interest in international (or intranational) travel. It points to a frankly unacceptable (to me) complacence and lack of curiosity.

I've had to show my husband that travel can be enjoyable and he still doesn't really enjoy it because travel wasn't fun for him as a kid. It was always driving to bumfuck, nowhere, avoiding anything remotely fun on the way. His grandma lived it Wisconsin and Utah and he had never even seen the Minneapolis skyline. His mom would drive alllll the way around to avoid driving in Minneapolis. It legit made me sad to think of him as a little kid never getting to go to Legoland/Camp Snoopy in the MoA

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:52

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

nah gently caress that. your SO"s parents can't summon you to an audience and expect you to appear, especially if they're not willing to work around your own life and daily schedule. it would be extremely polite to reimburse them for the ticket and not go. redditors as usual are idiots for telling this lady to upend her life for someone else's convenience

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:53

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Nazzadan posted:

Intranational sure, but I wouldn't really fault someone for not giving a gently caress about ever wanting to see Berlin or something. Not wanting to take a trip to Yosemite, Yellowstone, etc. is being lazy as gently caress though and boring.

Speaking of travelling
Irrationally mad at BF's parents for booking us a long trip to visit them. [26&34] (Long rant)

Comments

man reddit is loving ridiculous

if my family booked me plane tickets during a work week without telling me i'd be furious. I can think of one person in my family who would do something like this and she'd do it solely to lord paying for the trip over my head, whether I refused to go or not

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:55

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Nazzadan posted:

Intranational sure, but I wouldn't really fault someone for not giving a gently caress about ever wanting to see Berlin or something. Not wanting to take a trip to Yosemite, Yellowstone, etc. is being lazy as gently caress though and boring.

Berlin is amazing! But luckily there is a lot of other things to see out there as well. America is beautiful, sure, but the world is full of beautiful places and more importantly very different places. Asia, Africa, the Middle East, South America, Europe all have so many amazing things to see!

edit: luckily my girlfriend's father is a travel agent and while she hasn't been everywhere I have she has a natural interest in travel that really makes me happy. Then again, if I hated traveling I'd probably want a girlfriend who felt the same

Moridin920 posted:

Not to like be a douche or validate the wife in that scenario or anything but stop loving bawling nonstop goddamn.

Yeah I actually thought "crying yourself to sleep" was more like a poetic turn of phrase than something people who aren't small children do. Granted, the guy's whole life is falling apart and it's completely understandable, just hard for me to picture actually crying for so long that you just fall asleep mid-sob.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:56

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

boner confessor posted:

nah gently caress that. your SO"s parents can't summon you to an audience and expect you to appear, especially if they're not willing to work around your own life and daily schedule. it would be extremely polite to reimburse them for the ticket and not go. redditors as usual are idiots for telling this lady to upend her life for someone else's convenience

Yeah, I loathe it when people value being generous over being considerate.

I am not surprised to learn that the parents-in-law are horse people.

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:58

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

boner confessor posted:

nah gently caress that. your SO"s parents can't summon you to an audience and expect you to appear, especially if they're not willing to work around your own life and daily schedule. it would be extremely polite to reimburse them for the ticket and not go. redditors as usual are idiots for telling this lady to upend her life for someone else's convenience

Yeah that's hosed up. Especially since it sounds like they can't really spare the cash. Maybe the gesture is nice but seriously, it's absurd to expect them to drop everything and travel to go to them

# ? Mar 1, 2017 23:59

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Travel is mostly fun for me because of the people I travel with. Like, okay, a cool museum in a new city, that's great, but, at the end of the day, the human connection with the people I'm with is the part that's lasting and valuable. I travel regularly because people I care about do, and, say, Prague is a beautiful city that I liked hanging out in, but I think I'd get 95+% of the value by just staying in NYC and hanging out with those same people here. I'm always a little suspicious of the "I live to travel" folks, simply because I do interesting things regularly where I live and I think if you're not regularly doing that, you have a serious problem that you should address rather than finding your only solace during rare times you travel.

Frankly, the time I went to visit old friends in ohio and sat and his house smoking weed and reminiscing was a lot more fun than watching the sunset over Mayan temples in Guatemala on a school trip with people I was mostly ambivalent toward.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:00

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Mirthless posted:

you pretty frequently post your opinions on women's sexual agency and they are pretty alarmingly misogynist, yeah

you don't have to outwardly hate women to come across as an incel bitter at the women who won't have sex with you (and the men they are loving)

I don't know if you're conflating me with someone else or if you're just willfully interpreting things to fit a narrative, but while I have made posts denouncing weird and unhealthy sexual practices, I've never aimed this criticism at women specifically.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:04

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

in america, travel is mostly conspicuous consumption. it's basically hallucinogens for people who have too much money and time on their hands. like woah you never appreciate your own life until you've traveled to another country yeah ok buddy i've eaten acid too

it's fun when you can do it but americans who make a lifestyle out of travel are just showing off because of the cost involved. europeans can get away with international travel much cheaper

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:04

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Me [29 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 2 years, talks on the phone for hours and got really mad when she caught me making up an excuse to get off the phone.

quote:

I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone today, we had been talking for almost an hour and in my estimation, had covered all the topics that we possibly could have and then some (It isn't a long distance relationship, she spent the night before at my house). Anyway, right before the imminent fight, she was telling me a story about how someone at work had taken the space heater in her office. But the problem was, after 10 minutes or so the conversation had devolved into this basic pattern:
HER: Isn't that weird of her? (For the third time)
ME: Yeah totally.
HER: I mean, who does that. (Again, rehashed from earlier in the conversation)
ME: Long awkward pause Some people huh?
HER: Yeah, it was so weird.
ME: Really really long pause (hint, hint).
HER: Who just takes a heater?
I tried everything I could to nicely give her the hint that I was no longer interested in engaging her in this particular conversation. In my reckoning, the conversation was over, and I wanted to move on to other things (end the call). After another 10 minutes doing the phone equivalent of smiling and nodding I was getting really, really frustrated. So this happened:
ME: Hey babe, I really need to do some homework, it is due tomorrow.
HER: I thought you said it was due next week.
ME: ...
HER: I'm sorry my story wasn't interesting enough for you!
ME: ...
Cue fight
Thinking back, I think this has always been a problem, but up until about a month ago I have led a really, really busy life and had 10 legitimate excuses to get off the phone at all times, so it was really not a big deal. However, I am currently taking 2 months off before I start my new job (and taking one class, which is pretty easy) so I haven't had a lot of excuses on hand. This doesn't happen when we hang out in person, it is pretty easy to keep the conversation going for whatever reason and if things get dull we can watch a TV show or something. However, when we are on the phone I find it incredibly stressful to spend 10 minutes or more beating a dead horse. So my questions are:
1) Am I crazy? Is it weird that I get incredibly stressed out at being on the phone and not really having a conversation?
2) How do I tell her this? It has become a huge problem, and is effecting our relationship negatively.
tl;dr: Girlfriend calls and keeps me on the line to the point that I am getting really stressed out. Advice?

RE: travelling
I already said I wouldn't really mind if someone wasn't interested in travelling outside of the US, I'm personally not either. The US is so loving huge compared to most first world nations, we can see a variety of cultures and landmarks within the continental US and then we also have our two little outlying states that are even more geographically different than the other 48.
Basically, travelling isn't that big of a deal. But if your SO wants to take a trip you should probably at least entertain the thought, especially if it is in the same state or a few away.

Nazzadan fucked around with this message at 00:09 on Mar 2, 2017

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:07

Barudak: May 7, 2007

So based on Ok Cupid data travel, specifically traveling to a foreign country alone ever once in the past, is one of the three core questions that have the highest rate of indicating if a married will last multiple years.

Travel and your attitudes towards it matter, and they matter way more than how much loving doctor who you watch.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:09

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Barudak posted:

So based on Ok Cupid data travel, specifically traveling to a foreign country alone ever once in the past, is one of the three core questions that have the highest rate of indicating if a married will last multiple years.

Travel and your attitudes towards it matter, and they matter way more than how much loving doctor who you watch.

This is true; I also read a real study in which people who had spent larger amounts of time living abroad when they're younger marry later but their marriages tend to be permanent, more so than other cohorts.

And you don't need to be rich to be interested in international travel (although it helps to realize that interest, of course). There are many ways to travel cheaply, to find work in other countries temporarily, or to work remotely as you travel (what I'm working towards). There's also the fact that I would never judge someone for not having the resources to travel extensively, only for a lack of interest in doing so at all.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:13

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

I'm not really a big fan of travel either. There's plenty of stuff I'd like to experience all over the place, but it's the actual traveling part that stops me. That and having to be at work basically 7 days a week. Demanding jobs kill the energy to do much of anything.

Having very bad luck with air travel delays also doesn't help. And not knowing any other languages.

chumbler fucked around with this message at 00:18 on Mar 2, 2017

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:15

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

I travel to my computer and visit new universes every day. Mostly I kill monsters there.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:16

1st AD: Dec 3, 2004; Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

boner confessor posted:

it's fun when you can do it but americans who make a lifestyle out of travel are just showing off because of the cost involved. europeans can get away with international travel much cheaper

lots of not wealthy travel on the regular tho, so I don't get where that comes from.

Basically if you are okay not spending your money on buying poo poo, you can instead buy plane tickets and stay in hostels.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:22

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

How to criticize girlfriend?

quote:

Going to go fast. Dating this girl for 4 years, she has recently had some medical issues and has begun coughing a lot. eg. 5 min drive, about 8 times. She coughs really loud to the point where it hurts my ears such as if I was listening to an ipod full blast for like 10 minutes, it resonates in my ears.. It wouldn't be so bad if she would cover her mouth to try and muffle the sound, but she does not try at all. How can I go about and tell her to try and at least muffle her coughs without sounding rude?
She also adds a fake laugh when ever she says something kind of funny, pointing something out, when she corrects me/someone, when she is getting mad. The laugh always sounds the same and is extremely fake. It is very annoying and I can tell it annoys others. How can I bring this up in attempt to make her stop without sounding rude. I don't want her to feel self-concious.
I know this sounds ridiculous and childish compared to the other threads on this, but she is very fragile and I do not want to hurt her emotionally, and was wondering what the best way to go about this would be.
She only has recently started doing both of these things like 5 months ago, I thought it would stop soon so I didn't bring it up, but now since it has been so long I don't want her to feel as if she has been hurting me/annoying us for so long without anyone saying something. How can I tell her politely and without hurt.
TLDR : GF coughs loud constantly doesn't muffle; hurts ears. GF adds same fake laugh to everything, people and I find it annoying. How to make it stop.

Help, I'm dating a Noise Marine???

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:25

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:27

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

1st AD posted:

lots of not wealthy travel on the regular tho, so I don't get where that comes from.

Basically if you are okay not spending your money on buying poo poo, you can instead buy plane tickets and stay in hostels.

yeah, if you're ok with pinching pennies and living like a monk so you can go to paris twice a year and talk about how transcendent it is to people watch in montmartre you're just showing off

same as east coast people who hit all the west coast music festivals and burns, you're trading dollars for the left leaning equivalent of a rolex

# ? Mar 2, 2017 00:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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