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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 14:47
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Yeah, hes still married as Void Divorce isnt recognized in the U.S. If he wants to screw her he should be collecting Child Support.
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Mar 4, 2017 01:18
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- VanSandman
- Feb 16, 2011
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SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
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How to Radicalize your Life and Wife in Ten Easy Steps: Number Six Will Astound You
Guys sometimes I think I have something like permabanned user Niggerstomper58 only instead of constantly channeling irony I am constantly coming up with terrible clickbait headlines.
I am sure the only cure is
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Mar 4, 2017 01:50
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- Grem
- Mar 29, 2004
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS(and can't post for 30 days!)
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See, that dude is a grade A racist jackass. What happened is he married a grade A jackass, but slightly less racist I guess.
He totally should file for divorce and get a judgement for sky high child support and eventually collect on it.
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Mar 4, 2017 03:43
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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look maybe it's not "PC" to say that all muslims are homosexuals, that's not what your sensitive little liberal ears want to hear, but it has never been racist to tell hard truths
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Mar 4, 2017 04:47
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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It's really not that hard. You just don't gently caress people? I'm like 8 years voluntarily celibate, so...
how powerful is your kung fu
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Mar 4, 2017 05:48
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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how powerful is your kung fu
Middling.
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Mar 4, 2017 06:07
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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But is he? Has he even seen a lawyer? There's way too many unanswered questions, even before we get to him being in the closet with the hots for Afghan boys.
Ignoring his bizarre tangents about fiki-fiki, citizenship, randomly namedroped diseases, and whatever other unfettered stream of racist grandad's past consciousness he channels, Kuwait cant unilaterally divorce him. If it could, U.S. divorce proceedings for the wealthy would be run through whatever country the divorcer would prefer.
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Mar 4, 2017 07:00
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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I [33m] got dragged to the bar tonight. All these young people need to get off my drat lawn.
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Mar 4, 2017 08:44
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:
•
Me [22F] with him [26M], frustrated by lack of engagement and perceived insensitivity.Relationships
submitted 21 minutes ago by frustration_throw
hi there. Sorry if this post is sort of jumbled - its pretty early in the morning.
This concerns my bf "Joe" and I. We have been together for a lovely year. I am still a full-time student at a very difficult university with a huge workload and Joe is currently in the workforce, but an alumni of the school. Joe is sweet, kind, and makes me laugh and we really do love each other. Joe understands that I can't hang out all the time and respects that my work sometimes takes priority since he went to the same school.
That being said, I think Joe unintentionally comes across as hyperlogical or insensitive. He has a very logical mindset and is more of an introvert - the two coupled together often lead to perceived insensitivity on my part, even if he doesn't mean it. For example, he HYPERFOCUSES on cooking. Like will not acknowledge anything else too much. He really enjoys it and I encourage him to pursue this hobby because it makes him happy, but it has downsides. The other night, I came home and had brought home takeout that he requested. I walk into the kitchen, say hi, and he just barely acknowledges my existence. It seemed so rude, but I knew he didn't mean it, so I asked him for a proper hello and he obliged. I wish I didn't have to lay it out for him that its rude to not acknowledge someone when they say hello.
Any sort of date/large plan other than sitting at home and watching Netflix is my responsibility somehow. He is "bad at making decisions" but I am stuck with all the dating responsibilities. He doesn't realize this is insensitive to me and I feel like he doesn't care or want to be engaged in our relationship.
I will also leave Joe little love notes on a post it. I don't expect anything in return except maybe acknowledgement of its receipt, but that hardly ever happens. It makes me feel like he doesn't care/like these notes - I asked him point blank if he enjoys these and he said he loves them! But never shows it or acknowledges it through actions.
If he is gaming, he won't pick up his phone or respond to texts. I am fine with this, he is busy. But what would be nice is if he could just tell me he is gaming/can't respond right now instead of ignoring me...that, of course, doesn't happen. I called him to ask him a question and whaddaya know, he sends me to voicemail. I assumed he was gaming, but because I got no follow up text/call/communication, it feels like he is ignoring me.
Romantic gestures are difficult for him to understand or go through with and, coupled with the fact that he doesn't understand that his actions make it seem like he doesn't give a poo poo, make me feel unloved and unwanted. I have told him this before, but it doesn't seem to stick. So, I guess my question is how can I show Joe that actions > words and he is coming off as insensitive? How do I help to make this message stick without upsetting Joe in any way?
He is reasonable to talk to, but I fear I will become quite mad at him. I've brought some of these points up piecemeal with him, but I just am at my wits end with some of this stuff and I want to make sure I'm not overreacting or being too sensitive.
TL;DR - boyfriend doesn't get that his actions make him seem insensitive and uncaring - how do I talk to him about this? Or am I just being overly sensitive myself?
hrmm
quote:Me [28F] with my boyfriend [32M] of one year, completely surprised me (once again) with how insensitive he can be. Not sure if I'm asking for too much...Relationships
submitted 12 hours ago by Honeysweetiebaby
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 1 year. We’ve had our ups and downs, but in general I am much happier with him in my life. Most of our arguments stem from what we jokingly call his “sociopath-like inability to understand human emotions”. Don’t get me wrong, he can be sweet and thoughtful. But sometimes he just totally floors me with how insensitive he can be.
For example, this Valentine’s Day was our first together. I told him that I didn’t need an expensive gift like he had suggested, and that I would much rather he get me some cheap flowers and plan a nice dinner out. I even suggested we go dutch on dinner so we could go to a nicer place. That night, I gave him a very thoughtful gift that even made him tear up a little. He had nothing for me. No flowers, no card. On top of that, he hadn’t planned dinner like we discussed and even asked if we could stay in because he didn’t really feel like going out.
We had a very long tearful talk about how he needs to put more effort into our relationship. He apologized profusely, saying that he’d been preoccupied and busy, but that he knew I didn’t deserve this and he would step it up. Since then, he’s been much more thoughtful and compromising with me much more than usual. Which brings me to today…
I’m currently doing my medical school rotations and have been feeling pretty down lately. The long hours, looking tired and haggard, feeling stupid every day…it’s just really been wearing me down. I just started a new rotation a few days ago, and it really amplified all of these problems. I’ve been crying at home, in the car, on my lunch breaks, on the phone with my boyfriend more than once. It’s been bad.
Yesterday I found out that I would have the day off the following day (today), and asked my boyfriend if he wanted to do something. He agreed. This morning however, he told me that he had plans with friends for the day and wouldn’t be getting home until late. Crying on the phone, I told him I really needed him for support and would appreciate it if he tried to come home by dinner time. Again he agreed.
About half an hour ago, he texted me that he was on his way home, but that he had last minute decided to stop for drinks with friends on the way back. I was totally surprised. He can be a little oblivious when it comes to my emotions sometimes, but in this situation it’s not like he didn’t understand how sad I’ve been feeling and I had very clearly communicated to him that I needed him there.
I explained this to him, to which he responded “cut me some slack”. I realize name-calling is never ok, but I called him insensitive. He told me I wasn’t making him want to come home any faster by “treating him like an rear end in a top hat”.
Am I in the wrong here? Am I being too needy? Am I asking for too much?
tl;dr: My boyfriend has (on more than one occasion now) completely disregarded my feelings and needs that I very clearly communicated to him. Am I asking for too much?
Pick fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Mar 4, 2017
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Mar 4, 2017 16:12
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:]My (26 F) husband (28) got stoned on a Thursday morning when he was home from work to care for our infant daughter. It was the day after I had emergency surgery. I am struggling to forgive him.Relationships
submitted an hour ago * by Civiltactics
I've had an awful week with an infection spreading rapidly and needing emergency surgery as mentioned. I am currently on maternity leave and care for our five month old during the day. The morning after my surgery I had to go see the specialist and I've been on pain killers so couldn't drive myself. My husband stayed home with our daughter Wednesday to Friday to care for her. On Thursday morning at 8am I was breastfeeding and had to be at the doctors for 9am. I smelled weed and heard my husband come inside.
I asked him and he said he smoked pot. I got super pissed because not only is he caring for her stoned but he was going to run errands and drive with her. He told me he planned to wait a few hours. But here I am in the most pain of my life. If there had been further complications and I had needed him there or to drive how could he have done that stoned?
I am still beyond pissed. It came out twice last week that he had lied to me about smoking pot and about spending money. Money is tighter where I am on maternity leave and I make more.
There have been issues in the past but this concerns me so much. That he was that impulsive and would put our daughters safety at risk like that. I love him, but I'm having a hard time getting past this. He told me he would quit pot for at least six months.
Reddit I don't know what to do. I can't tell anyone. I am so angry and now every little thing he does bothers me. I've had a lovely week anyway, but this made it so much worse. Sorry for the rambling. I'm exhausted and still recovering from surgery.
TD;LR husband got stoned when supposed to be caring for our baby after I had surgery. So mad I don't know how to go on.
Edit: my mom drove me to my appointments and he stayed home with the baby.
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Mar 4, 2017 16:14
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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quote:I [30m] am finally ready for a relationship with my best friend [28f], but she's in a new relationshipDating
submitted 8 hours ago by itouchpoop
I was in a cohort with X in graduate school. I had broken up with a serious gf before coming to grad school and wasn't in a great place. X and I started spending a lot of time together, and became very good friends, and eventually slept together.
We were friends with benefits for a short while, and we both admitted that there was more than just FWB happening, and we became a couple. Our relationship was as ideal as I could imagine (emotional, intellectual, physical chemistry), and my friends told me I shouldn't let her get away. I cared about her a lot, but lacked the certainty that I was expecting to feel. She eventually told me she was in love, and I told her I wasn't sure, but I thought I might begin to feel that sureness. We ended up deciding that it wasn't fair to her to continue in that situation, and broke up.
...for a few weeks. I asked her back out and she went along, with the same feelings (I love her, but am not sure about the relationship for some reason), and the same outcome. The total time we were together was around 2 years.
It's been just under 2 years since we graduated. She started dating a guy [30ish?m] shortly thereafter, but we remain best friends (yes, really). I have been on a handful of dates, and had one short relationship (the straw that broke that camel's back was me refusing to have a less intimate friendship with X), but have never felt much real for any of them.
We live ~350mi apart, and visit each other pretty frequently (she visits without her bf). We maintain a very high level of intimacy. We talk about everything. We talk very frequently. We text every day.
She frequently talks about how much she hates the place she lives, and doesn't want to live there for long (though professionally it makes sense right now). Anytime her bf or her relationship comes up, she says "he's a good guy" and "I don't want to be alone" or expresses hesitation about moving their relationship to any higher levels. They just moved in together, but sleep in separate bedrooms because she needed separate space. She has told me I was her "the one", and while we were dating, obliquely brought up marriage. I know I let slip things that aren't entirely appropriate for a man to say to a woman in a relationship (I know), such as my honest desire for her to move to my town, or how important she is to me.
I have been seeing a therapist for a number of months. We've talked a lot about what the hell happened with me and X. We talked about my desire to have absolute certainty in things in general, and how that distracts me from making decisions in a grey world (there is a LOT of that grey in my profession, for example), and how to proceed with my life in spite of it. I have made long strides, and I am still working. It boils down to- when I think about X, I am not constrained by the feelings of hesitation that sabotaged our prior romantic relationships.
Finally, the question- I really really REALLY want to talk to X and tell her I love her (I always have) and that I understand myself so much better that I am not hesitant at all anymore. I want to be with her, what do I do?
tl;dr: My doubt sabotaged an otherwise perfect relationship. I've worked it out to the point where I'm ready to marry this girl if I got the chance, and I think she still has strong feelings, but she's seeing "good enough". Can I ask her to be with me?
why didn't she wait for meeee
Pick fucked around with this message at 16:22 on Mar 4, 2017
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Mar 4, 2017 16:15
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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Manchild.
Manchild.
why didn't she wait for meeee
Not necessarily a manchild, but, well...
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Mar 4, 2017 16:27
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Here are some comments from the hrmm story (the second one down, put together because they're on a theme)
quote:I dated a guy like this for 3 years and we just recently broke up. My advice is get out before you waste as much time. The resemblance is so spot on it's scary. He'd say things like "I'm just not a sensitive person" or when I was voicing my feelings because he would blatantly hurt them or disappoint me it was "you're always guilt tripping me, if I'm so terrible why are you with me?" It was exhausting. And what I can say is it's probably never going to improve but in fact get worse. Of the 4 valentines days we were together for not one was spent with him, there was always conveniently an argument around then or the first one we had he actually was at a friends house drinking because he "didn't think I was the type of girl to care about material things". He wants you to cut him some slack but honestly thats all you've been doing and he's taking advantage of it. You deserve better and there are people out there that won't make you feel like you need to ask for support and affection.
quote:that he was just a really selfish and inconsiderate person, similar to what you're describing now, definitely not oblivious. He knows what your emotional needs are, he just still puts his desires above your needs (i.e. Selfish and inconsiderate). He doesn't sound like the type of guy ready to be in a commitment with another human who has needs and desires as well. I'd move on if I were you. It was the best decision I made. Good luck
quote:Same experience here. Got tired of feeling like I had to apply for his time and make a case for why I mattered. It came down to "people who want to be in your life make time, not excuses". It really hurt to realize that no, I didn't matter at all to this person I loved. But better to actually be alone if you're going to be alone, than be alone in a relationship.
quote:OP, I went through a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend. He pulled a similar thing on Valentines Day, and I never once felt like he cared about my emotions. He constantly made me feel like I was in the wrong for caring about the relationship, and that it was wrong of me to desire respect from him. I was convinced he was the man I was going to marry, until I moved away and realized how messed up the situation was.
Please! You deserve someone who is going to give you all the time and love in the world. Leave him, focus on med school, and surround yourself with good people who care about you.
quote:It took me a while to snap out of my denial with my ex fiance and father of my child, because he could be so sweet and would promise me the moon. I had to accept the fact that words don't loving mean anything, actions do. Love is a verb. You don't passively love someone. When you truly love someone, you follow-through on plans,promises and communicate. You WANT to make your love smile, laugh, cheer them up and brighten all of their days. You may leave little notes in their place/car/desk/etc or simply send texts or call to make them happy. Not only that, but when you love someone, none of that is a chore or work. It doesn't feel like an obligation. When you love someone, doing these things also brings YOU the most joy, you look forward to seeing the other person and making memories. If you're able to lighten their load and help them through a stressful time, that makes you happy also and it's what you WANT to do. Clearly your boyfriend doesn't feel any of that, he doesn't love you. That type of selfish, insensitive, manipulative, "love" that makes you feel worse is not what you(or ANYONE) deserves. Despite your crystal clear communication and his verb agreements, actually spending time with you on a rare and well-deserved day off is apparently the last thing he wants to do. It's a chore to him, it's not enjoyable, and it does not bring him joy to loving be around you or do simple things to make you happy.
quote:Well - I married someone like this. Wouldn't recommend it.
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Mar 4, 2017 16:34
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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The only question I have is how much of a Libertarian is the arrested guy. Im thinking he thinks people should be allowed to sell themselves into slavery.
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Mar 4, 2017 16:55
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- Themata
- Dec 10, 2011
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If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt
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Decided to explore what my heritage would bring out in r/relationships:
My fiancé [25 M] lied about speaking Korean fluently to me [24 F] for 3 years. I don't know what to think.
quote:I've been with Jimmy for three years now, we first met in college and we pretty much instantly hit it off, I'm full Korean while he's half Korean even though he doesn't look like it at all. I was slightest disappointed when I found out that he didn't speak Korean. Pretty much everyone in my family speak its so more than anything I thought it would be a issue but it wasn't.
He told me that he didn't know it but he was studying it which I thought was a nice gesture. He met my parents for the first time and they speak English but prefer not to speak it much. My parents complained to me pretty much the entire night and even bad mouthed him quite a bit because of his actions and not understand.
I didn't know at the time but I really defended and although most dinners at my parent's house were them being fake nice to him, I tried my best to stick up for him. The first time my parents met his dad and his sister, they spoke very poorly of them it was downright insulting. His dad had some pretty rude/weird behavior that was frowned upon.
I would always talk with my parents on the phone while we lived on campus often on speaker phone and Jimmy would just kind of play dumb. Even with my friends, many of them were very rude to him after I told them he didn't understand it.
He proposed to me at our favorite park 3 months ago in Korean and I was so blown away by it. I thought it was the sweetest thing in world, I cried for joy and happy accepted I was so proud of him.
Fast forward to last week, one of Jimmy's old time friends had returned from his assignment over seas and met us for dinner, really nice and respectable guy. And he talking and just full blown starts speaking in Korean to Jimmy and I'm taken back, "Oh he doesn't know much he's still learning."
The guy scratches his head and goes, "Jimmy is the guy who helped teach me Korean what are you talking about?" And at first I didn't know what to think. I was relieve and excited that Jimmy actually knew it but the more I thought about it the more angry I became.
When I confronted him about why he didn't tell me sooner, he said that when he mother passed on his 18th birthday he stopped speaking all together and just started telling people he didn't understand it. He said that it reminds him of her. Which is understandable but I don't know if I can accept something like that.
When I told my parents, my dad was overjoyed while my mother had a panicked look on herself as she recalled all the nasty things they said about him and his family in front of them. My dad seemed to brush it off and fully understood Jimmy's reasoning for not speaking it anymore but I don't know if I can be so forgiving.
I feel like he's been secretly spying on me for the past 3 years, he lied to me about it. Even my friends, he treated everyone so kindly even though they all at some point talked bad about him.
I don't know if he's noble and romantic or if he's just been using it to his advantage. Our relationship is otherwise perfect and it seems like such a silly minor detail to get upset over but I don't know.
Any outside perspective or in put?
Am I wrong for not letting this go so lightly?
I think he should have told me way sooner.
TL;DR: I found out through an old of my fiancé that he actually speaks and understand Korean fluently despite him telling me that he was learning it. I feel relief yet betrayed and deceived. I don't know if I should let this go or what.
Update:
quote:
First I want to say that I admit I was totally wrong for trying to make this about me, and I realize my parents and friends as well as myself were all horrible people which I agree with.
I spoke with Jimmy same day I posted the thread, I actually invited him over to my parent's place for dinner but before that I stopped by his parent's house to apologize to him, his dad and his younger sister for everything because I felt so embarrassed and horrible. I apologized profusely to his dad, who did nothing but laugh.
His dad was beyond understanding and actually spoke Korean quite well himself, he actually laughed saying that he understands why my parents were the way they are. He even told me about the story of when he first met Jimmy's mom's parents in Korea and how much she warned him about their behavior. He said that she explained it to him and he understood and was able to respect where their concerns were coming from in terms of wanting to preserve their language and all heritage
He told me it started off rocky, but they shut up so fast when he surprised them and spoke it fluently. He said his relationship with her parents now stronger than ever especially since she past away and he calls them twice a week just to chat. He said that when he heard that I stuck up for Jimmy he was proud of me even though he never said anything.
Jimmy's sister she's only 12 but is super sweet and mature for her age, she said that when Jimmy started dating me was the day he started teaching and talking to her in Korean again, it was really precious the way she described it. His dad teaches/talks her as well but she really likes when Jimmy does it.
As for Jimmy and I we been working together to resolve our communication issues and we've spent a lot of time talking all about us.
I admitted all my concerns and he addressed them one by one and told me exactly what I needed to hear. He apologized for keeping it from me for so long and told me that he didn't do it maliciously.
He just didn't want to associate Korean with the negativity that my parents and friends brought. Which I find is extremely understandable. He said he regarded the language as something pure that him and his mother often shared together, that he didn't want to engage in with my parents and friends. He admitted that it probably sounded silly, but I understood him on an emotional level.
He told me about how close him and his mom were (We had never talked this in-depth about it before) and I cried like a little baby because I could tell how much he loved and missed her.
He told me that she always teased/warned him about the complications of marrying a full blood Korean while he was a teenager and he didn't truly understand until he met my parents and friends. I even found out that Jimmy was born and lived in Korea for 12 years.
I feel like our relationship is stronger as ever, my doubts and worries are gone and we're going to be a lot more open with one another. I'm ashamed I ever tried to doubt him. He has been speaking Korean to me a lot more exclusively since I've apologized to him.
Most probably won't understand but he took me to see his mother's grave and it was probably one of the most touching moment I've ever had with him. I kneeling beside him listening as he told her about me basically how he knew he had found the person he would make new memories with and how he would have to go back on a promise. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life, I couldn't even stop.
We had dinner with my parents on Tuesday and Jimmy spoke to them in Korean for the first time and my parents apologized for their tongue.
I think I didn't make it as clear as I should in my original post but after I defended him they cut back significantly.
Jimmy apologized for their years of disappointment teasing them for their original concerns. He told them a little about his mom and when he told them his mother's maiden name my father's eyes lit up. He didn't really go into detail but he think he might have known of her family. It made him extremely chatty and open, I've never seen my father so excited to talk to someone before in my life.
Jimmy also brought up that his family are planning a trip to Korea this Summer and he offered to pay for all of us to come with them. My parents haven't been back in years and they happily accepted his offered.
Jimmy is wonderful really, I'm lucky to have him and I'll never let him go.
Thanks for the advice.
EDIT: Jimmy's apology to my parents for years of disappointment was in a joking manner, not something sincere. It was meant as a joke and everyone laughed about it. Sort of like breaking ice or easing the tension in the room
TL;DR: Apologized to Jimmy and his dad and sister. Learned about Jimmy's mother and a bit about his past. He's decided to speak Korean more. He forgave my parents and even is offering to bring them to Korea with his dad and sister near the end of the summer. All around everything worked out perfectly.
This is like the anti /r/relationships.
My[28M] GF[21F] won't stop eating kimchee and it is giving her terrible gas. She refuses to stop eating it. (She isn't Korean)
quote:
So we've been dating for about four months. Sex is good, she's a sharp one, I like her a lot, and she's adventurous both in the bedroom and out. This is my first serious relationship (I spent so much time working and being unconfident in my earlier years that I never got a chance to date) and it seems to be going good so far. People talk about the honeymoon stage and such so maybe I'm just in that but who knows.
Anyway, about three weeks ago my GF started eating a lot of kimchee from a Korean grocery near us. I love ethnic food, and I generally like Korean food, but there's no denying that kimchee just makes your burps and farts smell awful... especially when you eat a lot of it.
She insists that she's eating it because it's good for her gut fauna (we both take health pretty seriously) and that I'm being selfish for telling her not to eat it. I've tried to explain to her that I literally can't go into the same room with her if she's passed gas in it recently because the Kimchee makes them so strong. She is white and not raised by Koreans so it isn't like I'm asking her to give up some deep cultural thing.
I'm just looking for perspective on this. I don't know if I'm being awful or what. I don't want to break up with her but how do I learn to compromise on this?
tl;dr My GF has picked up a kimchee eating habit. It makes her farts just atrociously bad and I can't take it. Is it wrong of me to make a big deal of this? I need perspective
If she's eating enough kimchi that her rear end is blasting lethally fermented bombs, improving gut flora be damned when you get stomach cancer.
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Mar 4, 2017 17:51
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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I want this to be a serialized tv drama.
little weird to be that enthusiastic about kimchi farts, dude
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Mar 4, 2017 18:21
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- PleasingFungus
- Oct 10, 2012
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idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off
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here's an unusual one
quote:My (25/F) boyfriend (28/M) of one year told me he can't support what I do if I continue acting alongside this guy (23/M) in a play.Relationships
submitted 5 hours ago * by dealbreakerthr0waway
I work in theatre. My boyfriend works in finance. We're on opposite sides of the spectrum. Completely opposite sides. He's the first non-theatre guy I've dated since high school. The others were all used to and perfectly okay with my job and what it entails. I've had to kiss, simulate sex, and stand completely naked on stage. No matter how uncomfortable it is for my boyfriend, it's far worse for me, initially at least. After the first couple of times, you get used to it. I tend to anyway.
In this new play, my co-star (23/M) and I have one very intense sex scene. We're both nude. It's quite alarming to read, let alone act out, but it's also important to the story, and this guy is very professional about it. He doesn't linger, he's all business, and the environment is very comfortable for both of us. The director of the play is a friend of mine, so he gave my boyfriend permission to sit in during one of our rehearsals. Going into it, I had already told my boyfriend that there was going to be a sex scene. I let him read it. He said he trusted me and he was fine it as long as I was. Everything was cool. And then he saw it with his own eyes and lost his cool in the car on the way back to my place.
He said it was disgusting, he said my co-star was probably secretly into me and enjoying himself too much, and he said no guy in his right mind would be comfortable with his girlfriend doing that on stage in front of a bunch of "dirty art freaks".
I mean I get it. The scene is intense. But he went waaay overboard. I understand that people have their hangups when it comes to "art freaks" and I doubly understand how the scene would be uncomfortable to watch through his perspective, but he really didn't have to attack the play nor the craft. I was very much offended and I told him as much, and he did apologize a short while later, but he said his stance isn't going to change.
At first I didn't understand, because he's never taken issue with any of the plays I've been in before, but he finally confessed to having ill feelings towards the guy in this particular play. Apparently he thinks I look better with that guy than I do with him, and he's always felt a little insecure about his appearance. I found this to be shocking. My boyfriend is very handsome. Strangers are always checking him out no matter where we go. Men and women. But I guess he doesn't see himself the way the world does, and he feels this other guy is better looking than him because he's younger, taller, and whatever. We all have our insecurities. It's normal to feel less than sometimes. Having insecurities is fine. What's not fine is how you deal with them, if you make your insecurities everyone else's problem, etc. I feel like that's what my boyfriend's doing. I explained this to him and he agrees but he said he's not going to support me in this play if I go on with it. He doesn't have to see me perform. That's fine. I would like it if he were to change his mind and see the artistry in it, but I understand.
I asked him if he's going to have a problem with any tall, young guys I may act with in the future, and he told me we'll deal with it when it comes to that, but I don't know if I want to at this point. I love my boyfriend dearly, I really do. But he's being unfair. Opening night is one week away, and the way he's acting now is only adding stress to the situation. This play means a lot to me. It's my first major play. I would really like it if he could see how much effort I've put into this, and be there for me, but he said he "just can't".
I don't know what to do. I want to focus on my job but my boyfriend is really stressing me out. No, I don't want to break up with him. I'd prefer to ease him into this lifestyle, and prove to him that we're not all "dirty art freaks" but I really don't know where to start. I've never had this problem before. Advice?
tl;dr He's insecure because my co-star is "younger, taller and looks better with" me than he does, and on top of that we have an intense sex scene in the play. He knows it's just acting but he also said he can't wrap his head around the visual of it. How do I help?
this guy has his own issues, and 'dirty art freaks' is clearly over the line, but like... i got sympathy for someone who isn't happy seeing their SO acting out sexual intercourse with someone else. (in public! fully nude!)
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Mar 4, 2017 20:04
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Well as everyone in here asserts, people are perfectly able to separate fantasy and reality so what's the problem
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Mar 4, 2017 20:09
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- chumbler
- Mar 28, 2010
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here's an unusual one
this guy has his own issues, and 'dirty art freaks' is clearly over the line, but like... i got sympathy for someone who isn't happy seeing their SO acting out sexual intercourse with someone else. (in public! fully nude!)
Obviously they should open up their relationship to resolve this.
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Mar 4, 2017 20:10
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Does her boyfriend also think everything on tv is real?
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Mar 4, 2017 20:16
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I think the boyfriend should consult his best friend who is also an actor for advice in this situation to learn whether or not they are cheating behind his back. Probably wouldnt hurt to get a second opinion from his other friend who is a divorced parent.
Dont think they need input from the three gals he probably knows, though.
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Mar 4, 2017 20:22
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I mean, I agree with you on porn normalizing lovely things, but that's a little different from watching your naked SO get fake-plowed by someone else in public in front of an audience
Oh yeah, my point is that I'd be super uncomfortable with it, even if I knew logically there was no issue (though there might be an issue).
NO FOREIGN BALLS ON MY STUFF
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Mar 4, 2017 20:23
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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no no honey, im not gay, he's slapping his sack on my chin for art, and his dilly dong is in my mouth, for art, and i am hard (for art)
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Mar 4, 2017 20:24
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- chumbler
- Mar 28, 2010
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On the basis of "theater people", she is 100% fuckin the other dude.
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Mar 4, 2017 20:25
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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On the basis of "theater people", she is 100% fuckin the other dude.
and multiple, multiple other people and animals
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Mar 4, 2017 20:26
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 28, 2024 14:47
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- FabioClone
- Oct 3, 2004
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by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
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Decided to explore what my heritage would bring out in r/relationships:
My fiancé [25 M] lied about speaking Korean fluently to me [24 F] for 3 years. I don't know what to think.
Lol that all her friends and family were talking poo poo about him to his face thinking he didn't understand. And I guess she didn't say or do anything about it? What the hell.
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Mar 4, 2017 20:28
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