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teen witch
Oct 9, 2012

captainOrbital posted:

Make up your loving mind you gross m*nch*ld

Climb down off the cross, you can say manchild.

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Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

sootikins posted:

AITA for telling my BF he should learn how to wipe his rear end

lmao he wants a "wow" or "good job" for a dookie
Guys like this are the reason they aren't called "baby wipes" anymore

Quackles
Aug 11, 2018

Pixels of Light.


Dewgy posted:

I doubt that guy is even taking award worthy dumps. If you don’t regularly need to use a poop knife, your turds ain’t poo poo.

r/relationships: your turds ain't poo poo

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

sootikins posted:

AITA for telling my BF he should learn how to wipe his rear end

lmao he wants a "wow" or "good job" for a dookie

At least his reasoning isn't "Wiping makes me gay" so progress, I guess.

Also pretend I posted the South Park episode where Randy is proud of his massive poo poo.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


Evil Willow posted:

I'll never get sick of stories like this! Yes, let's blow up our entire relationship because I can't deal with you having bodily autonomy.....

AITA for asking my girlfriend to change her hair color before meeting my parents?
The replies go on...

quote:

SHE BLOCKED YOU AND YOU STILL THOUGHT YALL WERE STILL TOGETHER?? LMFAOOOO YTA

NoPinkHairPlz: She could have communicated that she broke up instead of her tagging me in an Instagram story of her kissing another man. That was petty as gently caress and it hurt.

Mate. She called you an arsehole, walked away from a free holiday just hours before it was due to begin and blocked you on everything. That's pretty clear communication.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Arsenic Lupin posted:

The replies go on...

:dunkedon:

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!
💢🧒

teen witch posted:

Climb down off the cross, you can say manchild.

m'fedora just exploded

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Arsenic Lupin posted:

The replies go on...

Just Peted right out, with good reason.

Solenna
Jun 5, 2003

I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I thought this was gonna be a repost but no, it's different lunch packing drama:

AITA for threatening to no longer pack my husband's lunches?
I was going to suggest she make his lunch the night before then he can just grab it out of the fridge and that would solve everything. But it wouldn't solve the actual problem.

IOwnCalculus
Apr 2, 2003





kimbo305 posted:

This is quite confusing if you read Camelback as Camelbak, the water bladder brand.

Ha, fair enough. For reference this is a mountain literally in the middle of Phoenix.

And people are incredibly stupid about it because "it's in town how hard can it be".

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

Solenna posted:

I was going to suggest she make his lunch the night before then he can just grab it out of the fridge and that would solve everything. But it wouldn't solve the actual problem.

She tried that, he thinks its not "fresh enough"

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

AITA for spilling the beans about a co-worker's drinking to her parents?

quote:

I'm a 22-year-old man. I have a co-worker (Jessica) who is 20 years old. We have known each other for just under two years.

Jessica and I aren't on great terms. We work together between two and five days a week, but it has been a pretty bad relationship. The short of it is that early on when she started working at the restaurant, I asked her out a couple of times and she declined. I figured that was the end of it and was respectful/distant because that's what she seemed to want. One night, right after I turned 21, she approached me and asked if I could buy her alcohol (with her money). She was 19 and I figured it was fine.

After that point, any time she talked to me or made any attempt to communicate with me outside of work hours, it was for that exclusive purpose. After work? "Hey, can you get me a 40?" Before work? "Hey, can you buy me some wine after we finish up?" After this continued for some time I started ignoring her, and she would get more persistent. Finally I told her that we weren't friends and she should find someone else to help her get drunk.

She retaliated by boasting about rejecting me for a date to other people in the restaurant. She also talked about how I was apparently obsessed with her. I kept my head down and did my work quietly, but on days she was at the restaurant and I wasn't, she pushed her poo poo talking into high gear.

One night, her parents were dining at the restaurant. When I was bussing their table when Jessica was with another customer, her mother pointed at my name tag and gave her father a pretty pointed look. I politely asked if something was wrong, and her mother said "We heard about you from Jessica" really harshly. I told her I didn't know what that means, and she responded that she wants me to keep my distance from her daughter. I straight-up told her that the last five times Jessica and I talked, it was her approaching me to buy her alcohol and nothing else.

Her mother looked surprised and the next day when Jessica came in to work she absolutely screamed at me for telling her mother about her drinking. Apparently she's from a really strict family (her parents mark the alcohol bottles). She is furious about what I told her mother, and I lamely apologized but I'm not even sure.

I just don't know. I'm not great with this sort of thing. Should I have just kept my mouth shut and taken it?

Edit: I asked her out twice:

(1) I asked her if she wanted to have dinner after work. She gave me a half answer ("maybe another night!") and I didn't get the hint.

(2) I asked her again a month later. She said "no thanks, I think we should just be co-workers." I stopped there.

Not the way I thought it was going to go, I was ready to light the dude up at the mid point but just lol.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Hughlander posted:

AITA for spilling the beans about a co-worker's drinking to her parents?


Not the way I thought it was going to go, I was ready to light the dude up at the mid point but just lol.

I mean, he still was the one who hit on someone at work and then agreed to buy her alcohol when she was underage.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Arsenic Lupin posted:

The replies go on...

Ok I’ll agree that she could have told him instead of stabbing him in the heart, but obviously it wasn’t going anywhere either so whatever.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I mean, he still was the one who hit on someone at work and then agreed to buy her alcohol when she was underage.

You’ve never worked in a restaurant i take it

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

You’ve never worked in a restaurant i take it

Thank God!

The Bee
Nov 25, 2012

Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

You’ve never worked in a restaurant i take it

In Europe a restaurant this is completely normal.

Honestly, with an age gap of literally two years, none of this is really the worst thing ever. Guy asks a girl out, gets soft rejected. Gets hard rejected when he doesn't put 2 and 2 together. Doesn't press the issue. Does a favor once, gets badgered into doing it again and again and decides not to get used. Then she escalates, throws stones, guy takes out the nukes she casually handed him.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

Brandfarlig posted:

What's wrong with you? He got a lot of water from her and he was a douche about it. He can go steal piss from wildlife and not touch her things.

You're right. I didn't get enough sleep and didn't clock how much water he got from her.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Girlfriend [27f] of 6 months says "thank you" during/after sex and it weirds me [29m] out. How to tell her without hurting her?

quote:

She has this habit of saying "thank you" during sex or right after. And when I say during, I mean in the heat of intercourse. Like "that's it, right there, thank you, thank you, thank you".

To me, that's a bit of a turn off. I'd prefer just telling each other sweet nothings or dirty things. "Thank you" makes it sound like a favor or some sort of transaction, it weirds me out.

After sex, I don't mind it as much. It's like "thanks, babe, I really needed that" so yeah, I personally wouldn't express it that way but it doesn't take me out of the moment like saying it during the act.

How to ask her to stop saying it during sex without hurting her or making her feel like she's being annoying?

tl;dr: GF says "thank you" during intercourse and it takes me out of the moment. How to ask her to stop without hurting her?

Mellow Seas
Oct 9, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Girlfriend [27f] of 6 months says "thank you" during/after sex and it weirds me [29m] out. How to tell her without hurting her?
Just wait until he meets her sexy coworker Tan Kiu.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad
Twitch streaming poisoning where everything is transactionalized.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

kimbo305 posted:

Twitch streaming poisoning where everything is transactionalized.

Leave a like, leave a like, leave a like, LEAVE A LIKE AND SUBSCRIIIIIIIIIIBEEEE

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Leave a like, leave a like, leave a like, LEAVE A LIKE AND SUBSCRIIIIIIIIIIBEEEE

H-h-h-hit the bell icon!

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005

恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

kimbo305 posted:

This is quite confusing if you read Camelback as Camelbak, the water bladder brand.

Oooooh thank you, geez.

edit: fwiw I've never tramped in a desert, but even I was squinting at those numbers. 700ml for a ~6 hr walk is dumb as hell, you'd drink more than that on a treadmill indoors on a cool day.

Serephina fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Apr 1, 2022

MK-Ultramarathon
Aug 12, 2009

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Girlfriend [27f] of 6 months says "thank you" during/after sex and it weirds me [29m] out. How to tell her without hurting her?

Does she say it like totally deadpan or something? Otherwise I feel like dude just needs to read the forum he's posting on for examples of far more upsetting ways people have found to ruin sex for their partners.

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009

kimbo305 posted:

Twitch streaming poisoning where everything is transactionalized.

thank you for giving me your bits

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Wait, it's weird to thank lovers? I don't see how that makes it any more transactional.

run on sentience
Mar 22, 2022
If her dating experience is anything like my own, she's probably just grateful to finally find a straight man who is actually good at sex.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Batterypowered7 posted:

H-h-h-hit the bell icon!

I can't seem to find it :confused:

sugar free jazz
Mar 5, 2008

she keeps saying yes but im not asking her anyhrting and its making me uncomfortable how do i politely get her to stop

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Girlfriend [27f] of 6 months says "thank you" during/after sex and it weirds me [29m] out. How to tell her without hurting her?

you're supposed to say "you too"

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

MK-Ultramarathon
Aug 12, 2009

run on sentience posted:

If her dating experience is anything like my own, she's probably just grateful to finally find a straight man who is actually good at sex.

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Girlfriend [27f] of 6 months says "thank you" during/after sex and it weirds me [29m] out. How to tell her without hurting her?

Her: uuuuuugggh yeah that's it thank you thank you thankyouthankyou THAAAANK YOU UUUUUHH

Him: This is really problematic

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
I used to think I was the only straight man who was good at sex, but I eventually realized that I am neither straight nor a man

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Halloween Jack posted:

I used to think I was the only straight man who was good at sex, but I eventually realized that I am neither straight nor a man

same 'cept i never thought i was any good at fuckin'

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Uncle Enzo posted:

Her: uuuuuugggh yeah that's it thank you thank you thankyouthankyou THAAAANK YOU UUUUUHH

Him: This is really problematic

it sounds cute, idk what is wrong with this m**nchild. would he prefer she scream like a m*ndrake

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

I was honestly confused the first time somebody said thank you also so I feel like I get this guy

Slowpoke Rodriguez
Jun 20, 2009
The worst is when someone says, "don't stop," and you have to stop to make sure they aren't saying "don't" or "stop."

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Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
And then they follow it up with “thinking about tomorrow” and you don’t know what the gently caress.

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