Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

qirex posted:

not really sure how this isn't straight-up lying but

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/225611/Minecraft_studio_Mojang_has_been_bought_by_Microsoft_for_25B.php

context: mojang made $120m in profit last year

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:13

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 20:44

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

qirex posted:

not really sure how this isn't straight-up lying but

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/225611/Minecraft_studio_Mojang_has_been_bought_by_Microsoft_for_25B.php

if you know people are stupid enough to believe it, would you honestly not say it?

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:13

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

minecraft has sold like 40 million copies so I guess if they instantly raised the price to $100 and forced everyone to re-buy it to keep playing they'd have a chance

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:17

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

qirex posted:

not really sure how this isn't straight-up lying but

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/225611/Minecraft_studio_Mojang_has_been_bought_by_Microsoft_for_25B.php

that means they think they overpaid, doesn't it?

spend 2.5 billion of your assets
add one company valued at 2.5 billion - π
make π profits from company in year one

congrats, you've broken even

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:19

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Fabricated posted:

literally offer Chris Roberts like $5 million for an exclusive ship that can instantly destroy all other ships in star citizen for maximum trollage :iamafag:

lol i'd hire a real game company to make everything he's promising for star citizen, release it for free and bathe in the tears that ensue

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:20

univbee: Jun 3, 2004

Pinterest Mom posted:

that means they think they overpaid, doesn't it?

spend 2.5 billion of your assets
add one company valued at 2.5 billion - π
make π profits from company in year one

congrats, you've broken even

of course an accounting plan instituted by ballmer would include pie

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:21

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Pinterest Mom posted:

that means they think they overpaid, doesn't it?

spend 2.5 billion of your assets
add one company valued at 2.5 billion - π
make π profits from company in year one

congrats, you've broken even

well it specifically said "what they've spent" but still valuing minecraft at over 2 bil is kind of silly

e: they can probably knock off 33% for not having to repatriate euro cash as well

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:25

Blackula69: Apr 1, 2007; ＤＥＨＵＭＡＮＩＺＥＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ＆ＦＡＣＥＴＯＢＬＡＣＵＬＡ

theflyingexecutive posted:

lol i'd hire a real game company to make everything he's promising for star citizen, release it for free and bathe in the tears that ensue

that would probably cost you a billion though because he has promised the galaxy to these rabid nerds

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:25

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

microsoft is going to release a halo edition of minecraft. mark my words.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:26

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

qirex posted:

well it specifically said "what they've spent" but still valuing minecraft at over 2 bil is kind of silly

e: they can probably knock off 33% for not having to repatriate euro cash as well

are they spending 2.5 billion dollars, like in a big sack with a $ on the side, or are they giving away 2.5 billion buckaroos worth of microsoft stock?

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:27

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

qirex posted:

well it specifically said "what they've spent" but still valuing minecraft at over 2 bil is kind of silly

e: they can probably knock off 33% for not having to repatriate euro cash as well

Microsoft says "break-even in FY 2015".

"what they spent" is the james journalist's interpretation.

you can decide how much you trust a games journo's interpretation of business/accounting rules.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:27

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

univbee posted:

of course an accounting plan instituted by ballmer would include pie

he always seemed like more of a cake persson

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:28

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

prefect posted:

are they spending 2.5 billion dollars, like in a big sack with a $ on the side, or are they giving away 2.5 billion buckaroos worth of microsoft stock?

Microsoft specifically calls out "on a GAAP basis", so it doesn't matter, they'd both be accounted for the same way

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:29

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

MS could hire a bunch of youtube minecraft people to completely remake Halo 1(the first Halo) in Minecraft and then sell that. making games out of games. good thing they dont have a property that they promised would do that already

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:34

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

MS could hire a bunch of youtube minecraft people to completely remake Halo 1(the first Halo) in Minecraft and then sell that. making games out of games. good thing they dont have a property that they promised would do that already

what, you mean that one linkin park game

thaty was a linkin park game, right

because that was literally the only time i have seen marketing for that game, when linkin park did something

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:34

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

I bet it was worth 2.5bil to MS to fix the stupid JRE dependency of that poo poo game that is letting peoples computers get hacked

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:35

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

good thing they dont have a property that they promised would do that already

project spark is so hilarious because the pitch is so simple: "littlebigplanet but in 3D"

unfortunately it turned out "littlebigplanet but in 3D and with the business model of a zynga title"

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:37

Condiv: May 7, 2008; Sorry to undo the effort of paying a domestic abuser $10 to own this poster, but I am going to lose my dang mind if I keep seeing multiple posters who appear to be Baloogan.

With love,
a mod

Fabricated posted:

maybe its the lf in me but i'd feel kinad gross if i had 2.5 billion dollars

im really boring; i don't think i could spend that much money if i tried and i don't have any vices taht i could spend that much money on

buy 1.5 billion of weed, build weed chamber that pumps vaporized weed into the room 24/7, use the remainder of the money to hire an attendant to bathe/feed you for the rest of eternity

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:39

qirex: Feb 15, 2001

Condiv posted:

buy 1.5 billion of weed, build weed chamber that pumps vaporized weed into the room 24/7, use the remainder of the money to hire an attendant to bathe/feed you for the rest of eternity

so like a mellified man

but with weed

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:40

pagancow: Jan 15, 2001; Video Stymie

qirex posted:

project spark is so hilarious because the pitch is so simple: "littlebigplanet but in 3D"

unfortunately it turned out "littlebigplanet but in 3D and with the business model of a zynga title"

Customers ask devs for microtransactions. they want potions and cheat coins.

really.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:44

pagancow: Jan 15, 2001; Video Stymie

they are a small percentage but they make up a good chunk of revenue

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:44

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

im a whale

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:47

Phoenixan: Jan 16, 2010; Just Keep Cool-idge

apple fucks up and releases a phablet

microsoft fucks up and spends 2.5 billion on a blocks game

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:50

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

duTrieux. posted:

microsoft is going to release a halo edition of minecraft. mark my words.

ringworld minecraft could be kinda fun

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:59

Fabricated: Apr 9, 2007; Living the Dream

microsoft might possibly make their money back if they somehow successfully port minecraft to a real language so it doesn't run like poo poo and start selling azure hosted minecraft servers or something

but not in a year, lmao

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:13

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Fabricated posted:

microsoft might possibly make their money back if they somehow successfully port minecraft to a real language so it doesn't run like poo poo and start selling azure hosted minecraft servers or something

but not in a year, lmao

yeah minecraft seems like the type of game you dont even need an installer for. the entire thing could be handled in a web browser, so maybe thats where they see minecraft going, some sort of office 365 subscription model.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:15

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

duTrieux. posted:

microsoft is going to release a halo edition of minecraft. mark my words.

they probably already have a texture pack

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:15

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

minecraft is playable in a browser, or at least it was three years ago

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:16

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

Microsoft should move port minecraft to activex, imo

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:17

minivanmegafun: Jul 27, 2004

Fabricated posted:

microsoft might possibly make their money back if they somehow successfully port minecraft to a real language so it doesn't run like poo poo and start selling azure hosted minecraft servers or something

but not in a year, lmao

if the protocol isn't poo poo they might be able to port the back end

but what am i talking about. i haven't looked at it but i'd be really loving surprised if its something other than java.io.Serializable objects being thrown across the wire

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:19

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

axolotl farmer posted:

minecraft is playable in a browser, or at least it was three years ago

oh welp looks like they removed that functionality

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:22

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

Pinterest Mom posted:

"what they spent" ... business/accounting rules.

[img-stick-figure-in-party-hat-drawing-squiggly-lines]

wish i could find that drat image

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:25

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

Google search for ps3 Xbox projection cartoon

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:27

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

Pinterest Mom posted:

Google search for ps3 Xbox projection cartoon

thaaats the one

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:28

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Pinterest Mom posted:

Google search for ps3 Xbox projection cartoon

does red mean xbox?

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:29

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

Fabricated posted:

microsoft might possibly make their money back if they somehow successfully port minecraft to a real language so it doesn't run like poo poo and start selling azure hosted minecraft servers or something

but not in a year, lmao

the consoles versions were done by 4j studios in c++

lol at the people talking about firing 4j, where do you think the optimisations for the java version came from

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:35

Metrication: Dec 12, 2010; Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".

perhaps ms should have bought the newly independent scotland this friday instead

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Metrication posted:

perhaps ms should have bought the newly independent scotland this friday instead

with minecraft they can build their own independent scotland

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:38

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

32MB OF ESRAM posted:

yeah minecraft seems like the type of game you dont even need an installer for. the entire thing could be handled in a web browser, so maybe thats where they see minecraft going, some sort of office 365 subscription model.

microsoft minecraft online enterprise plan 3 with lync

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:38

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 20:44

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

Wiggly Wayne DDS posted:

the consoles versions were done by 4j studios in c++

which is pretty funny because java was supposed to be write once run anywhere lol

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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