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Fullhouse posted:thinking it's pretty likely that dude isn't an actual lawyer Lady, this is a Cinnabon but I'll do what I can.
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Apr 10, 2017 21:26
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Blue Train posted:She's not much older than him for him to be calling her an old hag and Granny and poo poo it's a tragedy that anyone has ever touched that dude's dick even a single time out of pity i hope he gets a staph infection
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Apr 10, 2017 21:27
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I'm a 38 year old man who hooks up with 40 year old women and asks if they like younger man dick in bed
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Apr 10, 2017 21:28
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Blue Train posted:She's not much older than him for him to be calling her an old hag and Granny and poo poo she's just 51 but yeah I bet you'd have to pretty much look like the Cryptkeeper to settle for that dude vvv yeah at the point he's at might as well try to salvage your dignity and write off sex altogether, it's not like either of you are having a good time A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 10, 2017 |
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Apr 10, 2017 21:28
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Not to mention he's not turning these women on at all.
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Apr 10, 2017 21:29
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Imagine being proud of training your endurance to the point where you could gently caress for the two+ hours it takes for your lovely dick to bring a woman to climax
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Apr 10, 2017 21:31
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Lol
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Apr 10, 2017 21:34
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Now this time we had some hard sex, but not advanced.
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Apr 10, 2017 21:36
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Bird law?
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Apr 10, 2017 21:58
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ugh, another day in the ol sex mines. ugh. gonna wash this boner pill down with some strong black coffee and put on my high vis. god i hate mondaysWrenP-Complete posted:Bird law? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcderLXiwa8
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Apr 10, 2017 21:58
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Look these old hags aren't going to have rough sex Rocco Siegfried style (he is a porn actor by the way, just gonna mention it so you know all my sex moves are based on porn) all by themselves, someone has to smack their asses until their pussies are so dry the friction rips your dickhead.
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Apr 10, 2017 22:11
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honey, i am gonna gently caress you so hard you're gonna sigh and moan from unsatisfaction. i'm gonna leave you so dry and dusty you'd think i'd planted ecologically unsuitable short rooted varieties of wheat all over your genital zone. this sex is going to be so completely bad and dismal that you'll be begging for a chance to clean up comical amounts of blood from my floor. baby you're gonna get hosed so rotten you'll beg me to take my dogs for a walk instead of enduring my weird sausage penis for another second
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Apr 10, 2017 22:17
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It's like a porn parody of Mr Bean
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Apr 10, 2017 22:17
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boner confessor posted:honey, i am gonna gently caress you so hard you're gonna sigh and moan from unsatisfaction. i'm gonna leave you so dry and dusty you'd think i'd planted ecologically unsuitable short rooted varieties of wheat all over your genital zone. this sex is going to be so completely bad and dismal that you'll be begging for a chance to clean up comical amounts of blood from my floor. baby you're gonna get hosed so rotten you'll beg me to take my dogs for a walk instead of enduring my weird sausage penis for another second call me
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Apr 10, 2017 22:23
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boner confessor posted:honey, i am gonna gently caress you so hard you're gonna sigh and moan from unsatisfaction. i'm gonna leave you so dry and dusty you'd think i'd planted ecologically unsuitable short rooted varieties of wheat all over your genital zone. this sex is going to be so completely bad and dismal that you'll be begging for a chance to clean up comical amounts of blood from my floor. baby you're gonna get hosed so rotten you'll beg me to take my dogs for a walk instead of enduring my weird sausage penis for another second relatable
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Apr 10, 2017 22:27
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I kinda feel like if you last longer than 20 minutes of actual sex (not foreplay), women get self conscious that you're not actually that turned on. Might just be the women I've dated.
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Apr 10, 2017 22:33
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A sad state of affairs
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Apr 10, 2017 22:37
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Just learn to ejaculate to the noise an egg timer makes and youll never last longer than she wants.
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Apr 10, 2017 22:39
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Barudak posted:Just learn to ejaculate to the noise an egg timer makes and youll never last longer than she wants. Yeah, but making 3 minute eggs means changing your pants
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Apr 10, 2017 22:43
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:I kinda feel like if you last longer than 20 minutes of actual sex (not foreplay), women get self conscious that you're not actually that turned on. Was that a humblebrag?
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Apr 10, 2017 22:44
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I have jerked an inch-thick layer of callus onto my dick that makes it both impressively large and largely insensitive to touch, you could say I'm the ultimate ladies' man
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Apr 10, 2017 22:46
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I have jerked an inch-thick layer of callus onto my dick that makes it both impressively large and largely insensitive to touch, you could say I'm the ultimate ladies' man My secret is out nooooooo
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Apr 10, 2017 22:47
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I have jerked an inch-thick layer of callus onto my dick that makes it both impressively large and largely insensitive to touch, you could say I'm the ultimate ladies' man garrus??
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Apr 10, 2017 22:49
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not r/relationships but alabama governor robert bently was arrested today, shortly before he was going to resign from office, because of a huge sex scandal. he is apparently "thirsty as gently caress", according to sources http://www.gq.com/story/affair-robert-bentley-alabama-governor quote:When the helicopter touched down on the Gulf Coast near the Bentley family beach house, Dianne had everything she needed. Here, she knew she and her husband would be alone—unattended by the retinue of aides and state troopers that hovered in their wake in Montgomery. Here, she knew she could slip away for a walk on the beach, trusting that her husband, who didn't much care for the cool weather, would stay behind. Here, she knew she could also leave behind her purse with that iPhone surreptitiously recording inside. What she couldn't know for sure, of course, was what her husband might say or do while she was gone. “Dianne, you gonna freeze,” Robert shouted to his wife as she headed outside. “Don't you need a coat?” quote:According to this friend, Mason [bently's mistress] was dismayed by how alone the governor felt. Bentley had gone into politics, he once told her, because he could no longer stand the tedium of his dermatology practice and the banality of those Lean Cuisine pizza lunches at home with Dianne. “He wanted more,” this Mason friend told me, “and his family didn't understand that.” quote:fter Dianne Bentley listened to the recording, people close to the First Lady say, she confronted the governor, who denied any sort of romantic relationship. Amazingly, Dianne seemed to drop the matter. But then, a few weeks later, Dianne's friends say, Bentley accidentally texted her another red-rose emoji, only this time the message included the word “Rebekah.” Dianne was heartbroken. She contacted her eldest son, Paul, and told him everything—the suspicions about Mason, the beach-house tape. the whole thing is great, as the horny grandpa bumbles around demonstrating critically low levels of discretion, every single loving person in alabama apparently learns about his affair. there's also other immaculate details such as: Also in 2014, Bentley opened a hotel room door in his underwear, expecting Mason to be on the order side. The "love bench," as Capitol employees had taken to calling it, was a bench in a courtyard garden in a corner of the grounds, in full view of office windows, where Bentley and Mason would sit together, according to the report. and he couldn't break up with his mistress in person so he ordered his chief of security to do it. twice so he blew up his career and his family, gg wp quote:As for Bentley, he's vowed to stay in office, clinging to the job that brought so much trouble. These days, when he goes home, the governor's mansion—once a splendid reminder of how far he'd come—sits empty save for the chef. If the hour is late, even he'll be gone, having left the governor his dinner on a counter. Bentley no longer talks to his family: He has yet to meet his eighth grandchild, born after he'd fallen out with his son. And on weekends, he no longer heads to the beach house; Dianne got it in the divorce. Instead, he'll steer that pale blue pickup of his out to the pond—the one where he and Rebekah were suspected to have once met—and toss a fishing line into the water, alone. https://twitter.com/aldotcom/status/851546136779399168 boner confessor fucked around with this message at 22:53 on Apr 10, 2017 |
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Apr 10, 2017 22:49
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And he would have gotten away with it too if hed never married.
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Apr 10, 2017 22:52
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he could no longer stand the tedium of his dermatology practice and the banality of those Lean Cuisine pizza lunches at home with Dianne. Sounds about right
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Apr 10, 2017 22:55
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Why did he get arrested
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Apr 10, 2017 22:55
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boner confessor posted:not r/relationships but alabama governor robert bently was arrested today, shortly before he was going to resign from office, because of a huge sex scandal. he is apparently "thirsty as gently caress", according to sources was the person who took his mugshot a woman? because he looks like he wants some of that
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Apr 10, 2017 22:56
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Blue Train posted:Why did he get arrested he was doing some shady money poo poo to pay his mistress' salary, because he had to give her a job to explain why she was hanging around his office all the time quote:That night at the mansion, the governor told Dianne how grateful he was that she was there for his inauguration. She went to sleep thinking that perhaps they were in a better place. But at the first staff meeting of his second term, the governor announced his plans for Mason. Rather than being dismissed, she would now be his “senior political adviser,” a new title that came with a new wrinkle: She would no longer serve on the governor's staff and would instead be paid by a newly created nonprofit founded to support the governor's agenda. The group didn't have to disclose its donors—so it wouldn't be clear who was covering Mason's salary—but it did allow Bentley to stay true to the promise he'd made to lure his wife back to Montgomery: Technically, Mason was no longer a member of the gubernatorial staff.
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Apr 10, 2017 23:01
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Lol nice
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Apr 10, 2017 23:02
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Batterypowered7 posted:Was that a humblebrag? Well I got yelled at for putting it on my resume so where the hell else can I advertise it
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Apr 10, 2017 23:03
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boner confessor posted:he was doing some shady money poo poo to pay his mistress' salary, because he had to give her a job to explain why she was hanging around his office all the time Dude was dedicated to his mistress.
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Apr 10, 2017 23:06
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CharlestheHammer posted:Dude was dedicated to his mistress. That's love
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Apr 10, 2017 23:07
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boner confessor posted:ugh, another day in the ol sex mines. ugh. gonna wash this boner pill down with some strong black coffee and put on my high vis. god i hate mondays
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Apr 11, 2017 00:07
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CannonFodder posted:Condoms and lube are proper PPE for the sex mines, I learned this in the OSHA thread. I heard a ripped foreskin tether story from a guy almost ten years ago, and it involved a condom. Uncircumcised. Apparently it doesn't necessarily take a dry insertion and it's easy to strain that bit of skin to rip.
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Apr 11, 2017 00:40
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quote:Just found out my bf has 200k in student loan debt that he isn't paying to and is gaining $1k in interest monthly. (self.personalfinance) Ahh, the old ignore it (for 25 years) until it goes away technique.
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Apr 11, 2017 01:03
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what even is your game plan in that scenario, besides 'marry rich' or 'suicide'
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Apr 11, 2017 01:05
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that's like med school level debt, holy poo poo. he got all that just from an MBA?
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Apr 11, 2017 01:07
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chernobyl kinsman posted:what even is your game plan in that scenario, besides 'marry rich' or 'suicide' Flee the country
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Apr 11, 2017 01:08
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Well it's not like you would get it from some poo poo community college right? If the cost isn't at least 20k per semester why even go
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Apr 11, 2017 01:09
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