Puroresu News/Views: The only thing that makes sense is money laundering.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Puroresu News/Views: The only thing that makes sense is money laundering.

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Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

abraham linksys posted:

very nice of njpw to put Karl Anderson vs Tama Tonga in the middle of the show to signal to us east coast US fans that it is time to go to sleep and catch up on the remaining matches in the morning

Fell asleep halfway through this sentence and it's 6pm.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2022 00:02

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 02:44

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

forkboy84 posted:

Talking about interminable, do not watch the All Asia Tag Team Match. NOSAWA & Kendo Kashin going 15 minutes with Takao Omori & Masao Inoue. It's loving awful. I've seen NOSAWA do decent enough wrestling but Kashin I wish would go back to the WWE Performance Centre. Or retire. Or wrestle somewhere I don't watch, be it AEW or Heat-Up or PPP or Progress, I don't care, just to somewhere I don't have to see his extremely boring brawls and unfunny comedy.

That match would have been interminable 20 years ago, so I am assuming war crimes levels of bad in TYOOL 2023.

edit: I must know how much sexiness Hase has managed to retain. Surely at least some sexiness.

Ditch fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Jan 4, 2023

# ¿ Jan 4, 2023 08:49

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

SG Bamboo posted:

there was still a Daisuke Sasaki match for the crowd to sit through

Strongest possible endorsement of this sentiment.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2023 00:06

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Is there history behind the 182 chops number?

Also, I remember being struck by how clearly the DDT DNA shows were being used to showcase the brand-new Higuchi and train him to be a headliner. Is there a reason it took almost 8 years for them to pull the trigger?

# ¿ Jan 16, 2023 21:21

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

My god, taking Hino chops has got to suuuuuuck.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2023 23:26

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

forkboy84 posted:

I am finally catching All Japan from the weekend and holy crap this crowd is mad into the Onita match.

Well then he's never going to retire.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2023 01:22

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

# ¿ Feb 10, 2023 23:44

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

I can't edit the OP for some reason :smith:

Also: NOSAWA retirement is easily the best news of 2023.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2023 17:12

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

HulkaMatt posted:

let ditch edit the op!

omg I can edit it now :buddy:

edit: Taking suggestions on what to add to the op

Ditch fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Feb 21, 2023

# ¿ Feb 21, 2023 20:37

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Random thing: I just found out that Fujinami debuted in JWA. I think he and the shambling corpse of Great Kojika are the only JWA wrestlers to compete in the last 6 months.

Dr. Zoggle posted:

The hustle egg, so we never forget our past

HUSTLE egg storyline/payoff somehow made more sense than Survivor Series 1990/Gooker.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2023 23:10

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

One would have hoped Misawa would be enough of a wake-up call about not ignoring lingering injuries, SPECIFICALLY IN NOAH, but pro wrestlers gonna pro wrestler.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2023 19:56

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Bonk posted:

I spent the last few months making a documentary series about the infamous Ultimo Dragon picture, and I just posted the final part today. Check it out if you want some weird belt history balanced out with my weird humor.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHX36rkFHZQvqiMr7NYMoQ0ypMKMAyGKG

Pro-click

# ¿ Mar 25, 2023 17:34

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

forkboy84 posted:

"Wrestle and Romance is a trillion times cooler than Wrestle Association-R as a promotion name"

# ¿ Mar 26, 2023 08:33

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Asteroid Alert posted:

Just dropping the Puwota calendar for future reference.

https://en.puwota.com/

@Ditch <- this also should be in the OP

# ¿ Mar 27, 2023 22:10

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Mutoh is so crippled he gets a wheelchair at the airport but Kaiyo still needed three shots to beat him. LOL @ NOWA

# ¿ Mar 29, 2023 21:50

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Why is Naito so sad to be on an All Japan card :smith:

# ¿ Apr 25, 2023 22:43

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Wait is that a 4 vs 5 vs 3 elimination match??

# ¿ May 13, 2023 18:12

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

BULK Orchestra still the GOAT stable name.

# ¿ May 13, 2023 23:20

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

That's EASILY my favorite Toryumon sprint.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2023 07:41

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

So Eddie gets a big push in Japan now?!

# ¿ Jul 20, 2023 20:51

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Minoru Suzuki preserving vital puro traditions, bless him.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2023 15:07

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

SG Bamboo posted:

Kento made a Saito Brothers match enjoyable which makes him the greatest wrestler of all time.

If true this would be accurate.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2023 19:06

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

SG Bamboo posted:

A nice lady helped my muddle my way through the machine at the Lawson

Some things never change! That's where I got tickets in 2005-2006.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2023 19:30

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

yea ok posted:

9/7/05 Korakuen into Infinity 28 = Rookie Shingo masterclass. He main events the Korakuen in a 6 man (CIMA/Magnitude Kishiwada/Shingo vs. Mochizuku/Susumu/TAKA) and is the featured wrestler, then Infinity 28 is him winning a bunch of matches including the key hunt, destroying Hulk in the process (hmmm) and then challenging Mochizuki for the Dream Gate in a really good main event. Had been wrestling for like a year.

That trios match is so freaking good. It has a big fight feel despite having a rookie, and despite the presence of MA-G-MA.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2023 15:23

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Numero6 posted:

Can't wait to see Generalissimo Takada again!

This but unironically.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 19:36

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

I hadn't heard most of those details, that's cool as hell.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2023 17:53

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Was randomly thinking back to when NJ was giving Tenzan a big push in 2003, including winning the G-1 by beating Akiyama in the final. Only...

-They had Chono be the next challenger to the IWGP title (held by Takayama)
-Tenzan's title win didn't come until November, AFTER a Tokyo Dome show, and it was a forgettable 30 minute slog
-Tenzan loses his first title defense the next month to Nakamura, who had less than 2 years experience at that point and got the title shot completely out of nowhere (Nakamura went 2-3 in the year's G-1 and lost the only two relevant singles matches he had after it). The title switch was almost certainly done because Nakamura had an MMA match on a big New Years' Eve card against kickboxer Alexey Ignashov. So you put the title on the guy who's about to face a high-level kickboxer in a shoot on a show that isn't promoted by New Japan, Because Inoki.

Then Nakamura vacated the title and they had a pretty stacked 1-night tournament in February 2004 to crown a new champ. Nagata was supposed to win, but Tenzan legit KO'ed him by landing a knee to Nagata's head on a moonsault. But they still put Tenzan over Tenryu in the final in a hella fun match.

...and then had Sasaki beat him the next month with a botched inverted northern lights bomb.

OKAY so that's two worthless title runs. Third time's the charm?

Tenzan wins the 2004 G-1 in a really solid match with Tanahashi, a couple years before Tanahashi hit his stride and thus the match quality was a pleasant surprise. Tenzan then sits on his thumbs as Kensuke Sasaki gets the next title shot against IWGP champ Kaz Fujita. Sakaki wins the title in insanely awkward fashion because Fujita didn't want to do a straightforward job. Okay whatever. Then Sasaki has TWO MORE title defenses, one at a dome show, before Tenzan finally beats him at a mid-tier December show.

OKAY but now Tenzan is champ heading into a January 4th Tokyo Dome Show! And he defends against:

No, he doesn't get a title defense.

He faces Chono and Choshu in a 3-way "dogfight" match where the winner is whoever can beat both of the other two opponents, and it's Chono, and Tenzan gets no falls, and then there's no follow-up match with Chono?

OKAY but then Tenzan's next defense is a title vs title match against Triple Crown champ Kojima! The match was supposed to go broadway but Tenzan was so completely out of gas that Kojima awkwardly pinned him with an elbow drop at 59:49.

Tenzan won a rematch in May. So we're now on title reign 4, and Tenzan had one successful defense in the first three reigns. He gets an insanely forgettable and obviously free title defense against 2005 Scott Norton, then drops the belt to Kaz Fujita, who for some reason gets the title to honor the recently deceased Shinya Hashimoto, even though Hashimoto had less than nothing to do with Fujita ever??

Like, whatever qualms anyone has with Gedo's booking, New Japan was sooooo inconsistent/bad during this period. Tenzan was never going to light the world on fire but he was absolutely kneecapped by the booking.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2023 08:36

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

fez_machine posted:

They're pretty explicit that it was COVID and less explicitly the softness of the market in Japan.

Having to negotiate with each prefectural government on venue regulations/hire on a promotion by promotion basis and enduring way longer clap crowds than other sports is the problem that this organisation is meant to solve.

If they're smart they won't do cross-promotional shows under the banner. It's a lobby group.

I haven't heard much about how COVID has affected Japan. Obviously the combination of density and age means there's vulnerability in Japan, and culturally they're more engaged with fighting airborne pathogens, but I have no idea to what extent they're still restricting things ~4 years on.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2023 17:17

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Tearing down Korakuen would easily be the worst thing to happen to Japan in *pulls out calculator* 78 years.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2023 00:56

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

SG Bamboo posted:

Are they coming out to a Star Wars theme remix for this battle royale?

It's killing me that I can't find footage of ones from the '90s because I could swear they used that song for those.

As consolation here's one from 1980 that finishes with Dutch Mantell against a new-ish Tenryu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZtbwEMGuQk

# ¿ Jan 2, 2024 08:13

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Late to this but how on earth is there enough Zero1 talent/fanbase left to have a split?

# ¿ Mar 1, 2024 23:06

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

The proliferation of Japanese promotions in the face of declining business and a shrinking talent pool (the exact opposite of the U.S.) will never cease to amaze... oh wait I just remembered the thread title.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2024 00:29

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

forkboy84 posted:

https://x.com/b3rt4/status/1774533278956965987?s=20

They finally explained the weird ZERO1 situation. Clear-ish?

I'm emphatically pointing at the thread title IRL.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2024 23:28

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 02:44

Ditch: Jul 29, 2003; Backdrop Hunger

Yeah, big effort posts deserve a thread.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 15:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Puroresu News/Views: The only thing that makes sense is money laundering.

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