- Not an Anthem
- Apr 28, 2003
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I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.
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I had no idea Team Roomba made grief videos, those are loving hilarious as well as the Galad/etc UO stories.
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Jun 29, 2008 06:48
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 15:55
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- Not an Anthem
- Apr 28, 2003
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I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.
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Not modern gaming related but on the MUDs/MUSHs I played I would start new characters and trail high level characters to find where they hung out, which was invariably where they hid good loot. I once pulled like 120,000 gold worth of equipment from a guy and flipped it all except the ring or whatever that I COULD wear and he chased me for weeks until I started a new character.
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Dec 16, 2008 00:26
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- Not an Anthem
- Apr 28, 2003
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I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.
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I woke up this morning to install WoW and do this, but I remembered the whole "flagging" thing. Anyone know what the popular PVPRP realm is?
My favorite 3.5 character I played was an innkeeper. I rolled a level 1 human fighter and used all my initial skill points for things like local lore, profession: innkeeper and rope use. His weapon was the axe handle he kept behind the bar. It was kind of a dick thing to do to a rookie DM, considering that the rest of the players were combat-loving min-maxers, but it was still fun for the three sessions it lasted.
Oh, that reminds me of a moderate DnD trolling story. It was more luck than anything else, but consistent luck is the closest thing I have to skill.
Fake edit: holy poo poo this is really long. Basically I make a really unconventional character and murder a very strong character that is a pompous rear end in a top hat.
So, a buddy of mine was doing a "kill 'em all" Ravenloft campaign. We were starting out at level 1 and he warned us that there would be blood - no DM cheating to save characters. The group is larger than usual and filled with rules lawyers, min-maxers and combat wombats; all people who have mastered the art of fudging die rolls... and then there's me. I enjoy bad rolls as much as I enjoy good rolls, and my stats were some bad ones. My stats rolls were something like this: 17, 14, 13, 10, 10, 9 - statistically average, but oddly far below the group average. The DM's looking at my stats and thinking, well... you're gonna die quick.
So, I'm flipping through the class list and mulling my options over when, all of a sudden, it hits me: Dexterity Paladin! The minimum stats to be a paladin are something like 14 charisma, 12 wisdom and 9 strength. Most people who roll a lot of high numbers (such as one of the other players in this group) will go paladin and put their best number into strength to get huge damage bonuses with a giant sword. However, you can get a weapon specialization feat that allows you to use your dex bonus for damage if you're using a light weapon. A high dexterity also makes you harder to hit, so although it's mechanically advantageous in many ways to make a dagger-wielding dex character, no self-respecting fighter character would wade into battle with a tiny weapon. Not me though. I made a paladin with 9 strength, 17 dexterity and for my special blessed holy sword? A rapier.
None of that is really the troll part though. The trolling part comes in with that other paladin character I mentioned. The session starts, and since he's the strongest and holiest in this dark land, he starts acting bossy. He's lawful good, but he's harshly judging innocent civilians for the things they have to do to survive under the oppressive thumbs of the vampires ruling the area. He's more inquisitor than righteous warrior, and I make my opinion known. This carries on for several sessions before he makes a pompous show of power in a town full of well-meaning people: when they don't immediately show fealty to his god, he beheads one on the spot. This is a town that was strategically important - our party would have done well to make them our allies, but that's not a possibility now. I tell him he's gone too far, and he threatens to do the same to my character. I back down and start scheming.
The next session, I talk with the DM. He's a friend, and I'm about to attempt a massive dick move that might break down the group - potentially causing the drama kings & queens to import the drama into real life, so I want to get his approval. I explain my character's perceptions and motivations, he considers it for a moment, agrees and gives me the green light.
So the session starts up and I gather everyone together for a call-out in town square. I publicly denounce the other paladin's actions and accuse him of having fallen from grace. I demand that he show regret and atone for his actions. He basically tells me to go gently caress myself, so I announce that I'm smiting him. Jaws hit the floor and the DM smiles. Everyone knows that I'm the weakest combat character - the only reason I'm surviving is the paladin's healthy bonuses against evil... and after my conversation with the DM, he decided that the paladin I had denounced had, in fact, fallen from grace and was now considered evil. Also, since I was so meek and unassuming, the DM also ruled it a sneak attack.
At this point, I'm pretty pleased with myself. I don't expect to survive the combat but dammit, I took a stand against an rear end in a top hat who was doing a piss-poor job of playing to his alignment and railroading the entire game. I was ready for that character to die, right then and there, for what he believed in. However, in a remarkable twist of fate, I make my attack roll and up comes a natural 20. With the smite bonus, my dex bonus, the holy sword's bonus against evil and my critical strike roll, I killed him in one shot. His body slumps to the ground and I tell the DM that I immediately begin praying for his lost soul, that it might still find its way to the light.
The DM ended that session there so the guy could make his next character, and the campaign tapered off after another session or three because the guy who played the paladin I killed kept trying to find reasons for his subsequent character to hate me and want me dead.
This owns and reminds me of my current DM (we'll call C) when we were playing Warhammer Fantasy RP with another friend DMing (we'll call M).
C had a ton of chaos but it wasn't totally apparent, but definitely was hinted at. I was a doo-gooder and its been a while so I forget the details, but suffice to say one day he was reading chaos magic bullshit in an inn by himself, I stroll in his door and see him reading it, and try immediately tying him down to the bed so I can alert the others and get to the bottom of it. He throws me off, so I make do with the short length of chain I have on my person and beat him to death quite promptly with a small bit of chain.
He (C) is currently DMing and throwing everything at my current piddling character to die, and I'm doing pretty well.
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Dec 6, 2013 21:09
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- Not an Anthem
- Apr 28, 2003
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I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.
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If I'm thinking of the right map can't he just have gone down to the left and shot the grate out, having an exit?
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Dec 6, 2013 23:55
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- Not an Anthem
- Apr 28, 2003
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I'm a fucking pain machine and if you even touch my fucking car I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU.
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I don't even remember the MUDs I used to play back when I had an office job in high school, but nevertheless I would log on for an hour a day and dick around highly rated MUDs where players who have been on it for years developed very advanced characters. The thing about these types of games were that you don't get to have a lot of stuff. You don't get your own castle, or pets, or huge backpacks. You got locked into the same basic inventory system and you had to find creative ways if you wanted to "own" more stuff.
I didn't really pick up on it until I was dicking around a rather abandoned area near the pubbie training site. I was probably level 3, and generally the first few levels there is a safe zone where pubbies can't be killed because let's face it, they're so underpowered any slime or bat or rat can easily overpower them.
I was dicking around shops trying to be creative with stealing lowbie stuff that was dropped to increase my loot when I saw some baskets or other inventory-holding objects. Imagine my surprise when opening a few in this room uncovered some level 70 character's hiding space for all their alt armor. Gold this and that, full suit of armor.
Because it was all so heavy I couldn't carry the pieces all or even more than one at a time, but I was logged on at a time of day where apparently traffic was pretty low so I beelined it all to a new place where I could hide it temporarily until I figured out what to do.
Piece by piece I moved a boot or a glove across the map via telnet giggling to myself. I think it was the next day or so, but after a brief period in which I moved most of the stuff I had found in the area (I'm sure there was more), the owner discovered the loss. Furious, they paraded around local and ooc chat shouting for their items to be returned. Since it wasn't illegal by that MUDs rules (or any really) to take items from containers like that, obviously no one cared.
I was still worried about someone else finding them and I certainly couldn't WEAR the armor because I was still level 3 and couldn't pick up any of it at once, so I decided to sell it all. Piece by piece I repeated the great move into town and sold all this very cool armor to the basic armorer next to the pubbie area, amassing a huge fortune. I then used it to armor every lowbie idiot training on wooden trainers sweating it out trying to kill their first rat, and announced my theft as a brazen Robin Hood swindle, arming pubbie town for the greater good of the poor.
The owner went off his rocker but couldn't really do anything given his armor actually vanished.
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Jan 24, 2014 16:54
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Jun 29, 2008 06:48
