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James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

Russ posted:

Until I was 18 I played for the Edinburgh youth team that act as a feeder club to Hibs. A lot of the current Hibs youngsters came from there, and there are guys like Keigan Parker and Kevin Harper who made it from our team down to playing in England. We were ridiculously good and won just about every competition in the East of Scotland year after year, and as far as I know the club still dominates the Edinburgh based leagues.

I played against a few recognisable names like Craig Gordon (who was 2nd choice keeper for his Balerno team) and Darren Fletcher in the Scottish cup, but the best player I remember going up against was Darren Mackie of Aberdeen, because playing at centre half that day, I had to mark him and he is fast and I am very very slow. The highlight of my prestigious career was getting invited down to play in a tournament at Everton against their youth team, Home Park from Ireland and a Welsh team. Going by our ages and assuming he was with the Everton youth set up at that point in 2000, Wayne Rooney was probably involved but I couldn't say for sure. If he was playing, he didn't stand out amongst the rest of the Everton lads who were playing to a ridiculously high standard while our manager's attitude of "I don't know any restaurants in Liverpool, let's have McDonalds for dinner every night" surprisingly made us the weakest side in the competition.

When I went away through to the west to Uni and realised that I would never make it as a pro, I signed for a Jewish Glasgow team play at junior level, which is probably comparable to Scottish non-league football. Also it is worth pointing out that I am not Jewish, the guy who told me to come along to train originally with the club wasn't Jewish and the guy who told that guy to originally sign for the club wasn't Jewish either. Trust me I checked in the showers.

After that it all goes downhill from there and I am just another victim on the Soccer Scrapheap. I played for another junior team through in the east for a year but it didn't work out, then I signed for an amateur team who were crap, I moved in 2007/2008 to play for the same amateur team that Scott Brown's brother played for and I hung up my boots last summer since I am studying professional accounting exams and technically I shouldn't have any free time, but I waste my entire day posting with you losers so I guess I could have managed to keep playing.

And that's the story of how big my penis is, does anyone have any questions

I was in a similar set-up, but on the West Coast. Played against most of the guys who're 24-26 that're playing in the SPL and lower these days, and my claim to fame was fracturing Kirk Broadfoot of Rangers' foot back when he played in the centre of midfield for an Ayrshire side.

I also pretty much gave up any hopes of continuing at that level by going to University in Glasgow and discovering it was much more fun to get incredibly wasted every single night and play for teams at University and the surrounding area.

These days I occasionally turn out for junior sides, and play six-a-side football for a couple of teams in the area.

On thinking about things; you've probably lined up against me at youth level!

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James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

Ka0 posted:

Out for a full month because of tendonitis on my left knee. This rocks.

Ouch. I've had medial tibial syndrome (basically shin splints) for the last 8 months. Playing six-a-side on the old style astroturfs three times per week and playing 11-a-side once a week with a training or two thrown in, along with a round or two of golf per week isn't helping, I'd imagine - I just can't help it.

With best intentions I often say I'm going to take a week off alternate weeks to rest it a bit; but then I get a text asking if I am playing and I just can't say no.

The worst part is that on astroturf I tend to play as a sweeper with occasional bursts through the middle. Like some sort of Scottish alcoholic Lothar Matthäus. So it's basically two hours of having shots blasted off me as I tend to be more of a blocker than a slide tackler on astroturf to prevent further injuries. Problem being I'm incredibly good at what I do and 9 times out of 10 I'm blocking the shot.

I definitely think that we should get a tournament going somewhere central in the UK like Manchester in August or something. I certainly don't mind travelling down, or even picking up my fellow Scots - only if we can play Scottish v English, though.

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

duggimon posted:

If it was based on who you support Man U would have a bigger squad than anyone else. Just make it Scots against everyone and we'll bring our chibs

Considering Russ and I played against the majority of the guys our age in the Scottish side right now I don't think we'd need chibs. Just a baseball bat with a nail through it, maybe.

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?
I don't really know what the deal would be, but would it be an idea to pop a thread up in this sub-forum, or would it have to go to that goon meet up sub-forum where it'd get no attention?

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

The Saurus posted:

Birmingham is the most central, but a shithole. Manchester is too far north and is a shithole.

Leicester is pretty central. They have a Goal Soccer thingy on Wakerley Rd, Leicester, Leicestershire, LE5 4WJ‎.

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?
Centre back, once my knee heals up properly.

Was playing earlier tonight after managing to get a day off for once, and we won 2-1 against an established Junior side. My right back took their striker down in the box needlessly and gave away a penalty in the 80th minute or we'd have won by two clear goals.

I'm now trying to get as much liquids on board as possible since I'm horribly sunburned and feel terribly dehydrated. Irn Bru isn't working, so onto pints of iced water.

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

Shrapnac posted:

I wonder if we could get Trin to referee the hypothetical matches.

Or we create a FM database with a Ray Parlour team in the Blue Square league that has us all in the squad in a similar idea to the current FM thing.

James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?
Having moved to Glasgow last October I've only really been playing weekly five and seven-a-side games that friends have invited me to. Last Thursday we had a great game and there seemed to be way more people than usual, I hadn't realised that a couple of decent six-a-side teams had been practicing by playing us.

Long story, short. After the game, in which the other side's "superstar" striker (complete with flashy white predator boots failed to get past me once, their manager invited me along this week for a game/training to see if I would like to join them.

It was last night, and the fellas were mostly decent bar the keeper who is a complete dick, the right back who is unhinged mentally and the previously mentioned "superstar" striker who had a chip on his shoulder 'cos he couldn't get a goal past us in a game of attack vs defence.

I might stick with them the next few weeks to get some more competitive games under my belt, but I will likely end up going back to my friend's games instead. The team was actually a supporters club side for one of the Old Firm here in Glasgow so it looks like there'll be an 'Old Firm' game of sorts, and I don't particularly fancy getting stabbed.

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James R
Dec 22, 2006

I hear they're still eating paper. Is that true?

Thirteenth Step posted:

don't think I'll have a good game tonight, my legs feel v tired and I'm not sure what a can do to get them feeling ok again

Bit late in seeing this, but when I have this problem there's a couple of things that can work.

1.) Get some Deep Freeze Gell or whatever brand name/non-brand name you fancy. Personally, I find Boots the Chemists' own stuff does the trick. Massage it onto your legs and sit watching telly or whatever for an hour, before showering it off.

2.) Similar to the above one, but the opposite way. Get a bucket and fill it with warm water. Add a tablespoon or two of salt and dip your legs in for about 20-30 minutes. Bang, relieves the aches and heavy feeling.

3.) Eat and drink things that have loads of calcium, fibre, protein and vitamin E. Glass of milk, bowl of wheetabix or similar, bananas. A carton of papaya juice from the supermarket is a sure-fire way to get a whole load of vitamin E into your system.

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