|
I've decided, at 26, that it's time to stop idly questioning whether I might have ADHD, and to finally get myself checked out. I'm headed to see someone on Monday, but I wanted to ask if my experience aligns with those here. In grade school, I excelled in my classes because I literally aced every test that was put in front of me. I nailed my standardized testing, and was generally well behaved in class. Except I never did my homework. In high school this led to me almost failing classes, despite finishing my graduation requirements a year early. My senior year I was done with everything I needed so I took 8 music classes. (I played my bass from 7am to 3pm every day.) My parents were going through a vicious 7 year divorce, and neither one really cared enough to notice my slipping grades. I was going to graduate, so that was good enough. I did see a shrink back then, and was diagnosed with depression. I was never medicated, just given some coping strategies. Something happened with her that my parents didn't like (she seemed to produce reports for the court or something) so I stopped seeing her. It was left pretty much unresolved on my 18th birthday, because I moved out from my parent's house and didn't talk with them for several years. I approached community college with some excitement, and for a quarter I was top of the class. Then I lost interest and nearly dropped out... twice. After working for a while as a baker, I sorta realized I wanted to be a little better off and finished the last year strong. I got my AS in 5 years with a 2.7 GPA. I went on to college and I'm doing pretty well, mostly because I find the subject matter interesting. My in major grades are high, but my out of major grades suffer. I just cannot make myself do physics homework. I have literally sat in the library and stared at problems for 6 hours before. Problems I knew how to solve, problems I solved easily on the tests. I just sit and stare. I start to think about the mechanics of some power in D&D, or how to write a piece of software, or why my shoes are so squeaky. Most of the time it's really inane poo poo, and I just cannot process the words in front of me. The tipping point for me was at a very important business meeting recently. I, along with 3 others, was on a voice only conference call with Microsoft and I literally could not stay in my seat. I stood up, sat down, stood up. I ran, ran around the table. I picked up a piece of styrofoam and started to hit another member of the meeting. At one point I pretended I was a squirrel. A loving squirrel. Who the gently caress does that poo poo in a business meeting? (My groupmates were all wide-eyed with disbelief.) I also do other things that I don't think are "normal". When no one is around, I vent loudly. I yell at the walls (no words, just loud noises.) I jump on the sofa, on the bed, I throw myself around the house bodily in what might be vaguely interpreted as dancing. You should see me when I'm driving by myself. I do this, to a lesser extent, around company. I kinda push people's buttons, but I'm also really self deprecating and tend to make people laugh. Other days, alone at home, I'll just sit in a chair and stare at the bookcase. I get strangely bummed about stupid things. I'll apologize to the cat, for example, for chucking her outside during a cold day. Some days I'll sit down in front of my computer and work on a programming project for 10 hours, though I'll tear my hair out if someone interrupts me when I'm working. I have a terrible habit of starting projects I'll never finish. Whether it's a physical project (building something, organizing my bills) or a programming one (this list is huge) I invariably lose interest a few weeks later. I burn through different hobbies, fanatically researching them for two weeks. Devoting every waking hour to making sure I've got the right this or that. Then I'll just drop them, package up all the poo poo I've got and move on. I forget to do things people tell me to do, and they are literally in disbelief when I tell them so. Once, in high school, I nicked another person's car and forgot to leave a note. Absolutely no one (to this day) believes that it is possible to forget something like that, but I stepped into a Hollywood video with friends to get some paper and pen, saw their new releases, and completely forgot. I did a bunch of community service for that one.... But other things also slip my mind. I'll promise to do some laundry, or move something to storage and completely forget I had. Strangely, I've never had major trouble at work. Although it helps that they keep me plied with interesting problems to solve ("We want you to write code to auto-configure the power grid." Yes please!). When work is slow ("We want you to data entry.") I easily lose focus. I lost a whole work week to webcomics, although the next week I literally did not leave my desk for any reason and finished my project a week ahead of schedule. poo poo, this post is long. Sorry. All I wanted to know was, "What should I expect from a Dr. when I tell them I think I might be ADHD?" What sort of questions are they going to ask? What should I be preparing myself for? I seem to have gotten a little distracted along the way...
|
#
¿
Nov 28, 2009 23:08
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 30, 2024 07:32 |
|
|
Tussin Grimace posted:I took a 20mg adderall xr once, and it was like the exact opposite of being hosed up, unless you consider actually being able to concentrate and remember things being hosed up. This happens (in my understanding) to everyone, whether you have ADHD or not.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 21, 2010 08:11
|
|