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mike grace jones posted:My symptoms were typical of ADD but not in the impulsive or hyper way, I'm highly disorganized, often anxious, I talk quicker than most people and often try to fill in the end of their sentences if I'm pretty sure I know where they're going (and I usually think I do). The most telling manifestation of it would be that every task I considered would immediately get broken down into 20 other tiny steps and even extended into the future. Like: It does. (Edit: I should mention, a few things in your post rang true for me. I always talk too fast, to the extent that in recent years I realized that I must annoy people. Sometimes my voice is really loud and I can't control that. Sometimes I just talk, and talk, and talk, and I know I must sound stupid or vapid. My disorganization is organized to some extent, at least, but I used to interrupt all the time. Sometimes I get panicked. I don't really have any close/good friends because I have no idea how to really act around them. Something I've also realized is that I become a mirror of the person I am talking to. There are some I work with who are really quiet, so I'm really quiet back. Others are really talkative, and we basically josh each other all day long. Then the quiet people look at me like I have two heads, and I go back to being quiet. I find after I've been hanging out with someone for awhile I pick up on their mannerisms, their way of speech, even how they sound when they speak. I DON'T do this on purpose. I know a lot of stupid people, and when I start sounding like them I could hit myself. My mind is just a very confused, jumbled mess. I guess that's why I like cats so much - I don't really have to be anything around them.) A few years ago when I was in university, a friend told me to go in and get checked for ADD. I didn't listen, because it sounded like foolishness. I mean, really, there's nothing wrong with me, right? Just because I can't do homework, or sit and concentrate on course readings, or write papers, or focus on a conversation, or watch TV because commericals drive me insane... because of these things and many more, there's nothing wrong with me! Now, let me go play my guitar. But I think actually I might paint a picture. Wait, there is a movie I want to see, I guess I'll toss in the DVD. But woah, wait! The dishes over there need to be done, and the cat is meowing, and I still have this paper to write. Oh wow. And the Christmas ball is coming up and I need a new dress and I have class tomorrow I wonder what I should have for breakfast? poo poo, I still have that paper to write. Three hours later I'd realize that I did nothing but doodle on my looseleaf anyway, so the paper never did get written. I really never did believe I had a problem. I had teachers in highschool growling that I never did homework, and I was often in the principal's office for getting something going (I always knew how to end it so that I wasn't the one who was in trouble). I was always grounded at home, and my parents and I were always at odds. I never gave it any thought. I just thought that I was lazy and that if I really wanted to, everything would be fine. Que the last month of highschool when I actually sat down to study and COULDN'T. I had never properly studied before because I couldn't focus, and well, this was no exception. I know I failed those exams. I still did well at the end of the year, so no one really noticed the difference. How many jobs have I had since 2003? At least 9. I never stay longer than a few months because I get bored. I daydream, and I decide to move on to bigger and better things. I have moved at least 10 times since 2003, and not just within the area I'm from, but cross-country. This was the second time that someone told me I had ADD. I was working at a hotel, and everyone who worked there has name badges with where we are from on them. Mine said "Nova Scotia". A guest asked me about what I was doing all the way up in the Northwest Territories, and I told him I was paying off my student loan. He asked what I had taken, and if I had a degree. I said no, I dropped out of university twice. He said what did I like to do? I told him about my hobbies. He asked what I would like to study. I told him. He noticed I was reading a book. We got to talking about a few different things and then he stopped me and said that I had the same thing that he did - ADD. Wow. I laughed. He recommended a book for me, and told me to read it. I did not. I still didn't believe I had a problem. This spring I got it in my head that it might be a good idea to go back to school. Wouldn't it be a great idea? Upgrade my highschool courses, go back and take a year of Sciences, apply for pharmacy so that I can get a good job and make money to buy a car and a house and then I can buy a piano and some more guitars and have lots of free time for painting and then I started planning which kind of house I wanted, etc. Somewhere in the mess of thoughts I decided it would be a good idea to get a shower. As I was in there scrubbing my hair I realized that my mind was on highspeed, and I couldn't focus on anything. It bothered me. I couldn't stop my thoughts even when I said "But wait, Rainbow Kittens, school isn't a good idea for you. You know you can't do it." My mind wouldn't stop with any of the other stuff. I've had a few months to settle down, read about going back to school, plan things out, and read some books on Adult ADD. I fit so many of the symptoms it's disgusting. When I brought it up with my Mom she said that she was sure she had it, too, and that she always had problems (try and get that woman to focus on you when you talk to her... I dare you). It's hard. I have a doctor's appointment booked for September when I arrive home (yup, moving again - to a new place, getting a new apartment, transfering within the company - where I know NO ONE). Mom is coming in with me because I have a habit of going to the doctor's and never really being clear as to what my problem is, or I forget to ask questions even though I have them written down. If Mom comes with me, then I will be accountable and maybe she'll remember things that I forget. I desperately want to fix my life. I feel like I'm at a dead end, and I know I'm far smarter than what I give myself credit for. Clearly I can't help myself, so it's time that I reached out and asked for help. Let me tell you though, the biggest help? Every day walking into work my mind would race, and race, and race, and it left me feeling mentally exhausted before I even got to work. Now I use an MP3 player and I loaded it up with music that is really fast-paced and loud. Club, rock, etc. I've been doing this since April. I find that with the music, it really drowns out the noise in my head. I mean, I'm still thinking a mile a minute, and I hardly even notice the walk from home to work and back, but the noise is really dampered. Ugh. I just hope this can be fixed. rainbow kittens fucked around with this message at 09:23 on Aug 22, 2009 |
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Aug 22, 2009 09:16
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:48 |
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Qu Appelle posted:c. Telling coworkers that, when they tell me something, it needs to be broken down into manageable chunks. Just throwing a bunch of vague info and expecting me to get it? No. Not working. (It also helps that my boss is also ADD, and understands this.) If I feel like I'm heading into Neural Meltdown Territory, I go take a walk. One of the biggest problems with this is that my brain no longer processes words correctly, either in or out. So, I hear things but can't understand them, and I'm reduced to saying stuff like 'thing' when I'm referring to something specific. It's like the audio processing just breaks down. I actually find that more annoying than not having an attention span at times. Holy crap, this. I realize that the job I've been working at the past year is great. The pharmacy manager makes lists for each worker, and tries to switch things up so that we're not always doing the same things. I never asked for it, but it has been so beneficial. For instance, when she is at work my list will look something like this: "RAINBOW KITTENS 1) call in PAs 2) write up mail 3) fill community prescriptions -community 1 -community 2 4) assemble blister packs for Friday" As I go down the list, I cross things off, and I make my own list based on what she has written out, expanding a bit more. But when she is not working, my list looks like this "RAINBOW KITTENS 1) communities 2) autofill" So I need to figure out which community prescriptions need to be assembled, and then I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out what needs to be done. I'll start something, the pharmacist in charge will ask me to do something else, I'll do it, but I'll forget exactly everything that needs to be done, then I'll finish that and start something else, I'll get interrupted again and then I'll realize that I was doing something to begin with anyway. I get really frustrated and upset. Sometimes I'll have various pharmacists asking me to do different things, and it doesn't help when they interrupt me saying "Wait, why are you doing the auto-fill for this community? Why don't you do that one?" "But I was asked to do this by the other pharmacist." "Oh, did you check the other communities?" "Not yet." "Okay, well, do that, too." My brain reaches a point of exploding. It literally feels like I'm having a meltdown because my brain doesn't know WTF. Even if I have a list, one of the pharmacists is really bad for coming into the backroom where I am doing something (assembling blister packs, etc) and she'll ramble on about prescriptions or patients or other workers or whatever, and ask me about things that I have no idea what she's talking about. The other day she went in the back room and I was out front filling some prescriptions and she called out to me and said "Do you know what any of these boxes are back here? Is this the order? Why aren't these boxes put away? Hey, wait, what is this?" How the gently caress should I know? I wasn't back there today. It is a box, and I have nothing to do with ordering anyway. So when she said "Hey wait, what is this?" and went quiet expecting a response I said the only thing that came to mind: "Magic". I'm not sure if it pissed her off, but she was shut right up and didn't ask me anymore stupid questions for the rest of the shift. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Pharmacy is fun, and I want to be a pharmacist. But my god, if people just worked silently, I would get so much more done in the span of a day. I too lose focus of words I'm looking to use if someone asks me something specific and I'm halfway into meltdown mode. It's very frustrating in a work environment where you need to be articulate. Instead of saying "The patient would like to refill their hydrochlorathiazide" I bumble like an idiot and say something like "Yeah, that person wants their thing refilled". Pisses off the pharmacist, and it pisses me off. EDIT: My question for the OP (and other ADD sufferers) is this: Does it feel like your head will explode ALL THE TIME? Do you ever overthing everything so much that you pretty much just freeze and can't do anything other than sit in a lump while your mind wanders aimlessly? Do you feel rage boil to the surface when you are interrupted while doing something you are attempting to concentrate on? I know my feelings aren't typical of a "normal" person, but I'm really looking to see if they are normal for a person suffering from ADD/ADHD. I don't know. If the doctor comes back and says I don't have it, then what the hell could it be? My cousin has Tourettes, and Mom always told me that I had it because of certain characteristics that I showed as a child (ticks, loud voice, etc), but I read in a book that Tourettes can also be comorbid with ADD. Mom also thought I was bipolar because I was always moody and I would fly off the hanger if someone interrupted me. Of course, I always told Mom off when she hinted there was something wrong with me anyway but now I see where she is coming from. 
rainbow kittens fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Aug 22, 2009 |
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Aug 22, 2009 09:36
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Burginator posted:I typically feel very overwhelmed by smaller tasks because I simply cannot decide where to attack them from. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 14, but my symptoms always manifested differently from most other kids I know -- I was always amazing at every subject through school, I aced every test, etc., but I could not focus long enough to do so much as a single piece of homework. I would recognize that I had it, plan on doing it, then I would almost subconsciously avoid it for as long as I possibly could. It wasn't like normal procrastination, which I am quite well versed at, it was almost like a complete mental block. I would KNOW that I had things I needed to do, and I'd think our a well detailed plan for how I would do them, and then I would somehow entirely skip over the 'doing' process, but I would always do all the reading, I would read all the worksheets etc., I would just skip that final step. Even on medication, I couldn't really get past this hyper analyzing phase, though I definitely did focus a lot more. Hello, me! Except the being diagnosed part, this pretty much is me in every sense. This is what caused my friend (psych major - he had a copy of the DSM-IV and would read it for fun) to tell me that he thought I had ADD. I was attempting to write papers for some of my courses in university, and it just was not happening. One day he sat me down and asked me what the hell was going on in my head when I was writing the papers. I mean, clearly, I would know what I was writing about. I would read the material, I would get out the paper and the pens and the computer. And then I would sit there. The paper would be trying to write itself in my head, but when I put my pen to paper, I would start to subconciously doodle. And doodle. And doodle. Three hours later, and multiple pages of hearts and flowers and things, I would always call it a night, and feel incredibly guilty with myself. And then I would always vow to try again the next night. What scares me is that you say that the medication really didn't help. I want to go on medication and get help so that I can go back to school. If the medication isn't going to help, then I don't want to be on it. Sorry about spamming the thread guys. It's late, my mind is racing (I should be in bed), and I've been having second thoughts about going to the doctor because it's like "Do I really have a problem? Or is it all in my head?" rainbow kittens fucked around with this message at 09:53 on Aug 22, 2009 |
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Aug 22, 2009 09:51
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shoetastic posted:We can't tell you. Don't self diagnose on the internet, see a doctor. Thank you for your insight and assuming that I'm self-diagnosing, good sir. Seeing as how it took me years before I finally accepted that there might be something wrong with me - after a few people have told me that I likely have ADD, I do have a doctor's appointment in a few weeks. Believe me, I don't WANT ADD/ADHD, but if I am diagnosed with having it, then at least I have something to work with.
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Aug 24, 2009 05:14
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Tab8715 posted:Help us be and stay organized. And for the love of god - just tell me what to do. We're bad enough keeping ourselves on-task the last thing we should be doing is telling other people what to do. Lists help.
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Aug 26, 2009 07:11
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 16:48 |
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Six AM posted:Has anyone had any luck with non-medical treatments? I hear omega supplements, caffeine, and exercise are good. Any others? I've tried Omega 3... and I thought it was helping, but that could also be the placebo effect.
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Sep 4, 2009 18:21
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