You didn't crash but you're still a dummy. [The almost crash thread]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > You didn't crash but you're still a dummy. [The almost crash thread]

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

redscare posted:

I don't know what it is about those things, but they consistently seem to be driven by the worst drivers around. I always give them a very wide birth.

Reading the AI stickies, it seems that Prius owners aren't good decision makers, starting with their finances.

My boss is the only person on the planet that I know for whom a Prius makes any sense. He always buys new, and drives it until it just won't go anymore. He's got a Toyota truck that he bought new in college, drove for many years, gave to his dad (who drove it for many years, also) who then gave it back after R's Ridgeline was stolen, then burned. That truck he bought in college is pushing 200,000 miles.
He passed his '94 Accord on to his teenage daughter with 145,000 on the clock, and they've got 120k on the Odyssey...

Conversely, there's a woman at work who bought a Prius 24 months ago, and last month sold it and bought a second one new.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2009 03:26

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:01

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

shipwrek posted:

Sure enough some lady in the biggest Caddy I have ever seen...absolutely slam(s) on her 4 wheel anti-lock disc brakes.

I feel so old now.

The biggest Caddy I've ever seen is a good 26" longer and 15 years older than standard ABS brakes (which was in MY 1991, for those who care)

Kenny Rogers fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Feb 24, 2010

# ¿ Feb 24, 2010 16:57

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

shipwrek posted:

Don't be. That Caddy only looked that big because I was pretty sure the trunk was going to become my casket.

On the bright side, you'd have gone out in style.

Like Elvis or something.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2010 22:21

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

M4gic posted:

I don't really know how the bike would have handled running over several geese...I'm guessing not well.

Certainly better than they would handle being run over...
Thinking about it, I don't know that it'd have been all that bad - what with the hollow bones and all. Certainly not as painful as hitting, say, a 15 pound bowling ball or lump of iron.

# ¿ May 11, 2010 17:16

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Took the KLR to Petco to pick up some cat food after work. Refreshing.
After I got back home, I spent some time doing MSF low speed drills (U turns and the like) out in front of the house, as I'm not 100% comfortable on the bike yet. I was also hitting the curb, crossing the end of the driveway, going across some rocks in our side yard and off the curb on that side (corner house) as a little "off road" practice.

The GF and her daughter get home, and I ride up the driveway to the garage opening. I'm not 100% sure what my plan was, other than this loose, general thing to get the bike in the garage, turned around, and back into its parking place so she could pull in - and to do so with a reasonable quickness, I was going to pull in, get off, and turn the bike around by hand.

Yeah, that didn't work out *quite* like I planned. I pulled up the driveway, stopped, and started to hop off the bike. It was when my left foot was planted on the ground, hands on the bars, and my right leg was extended 90* away from my body, with my right foot still on the middle of the seat when I realized that yes, the bike was starting to lean toward me (this is a good thing), that I forgot to put the kickstand down (this? not so much a good thing.), and that I had absolutely no leverage from that position.

I managed to keep a handle on the bike all the way to the ground, then I did the only sensible thing when one has just dumped the bike in front of the famdamily.

I turned around and spread my arms wide with a flourish... "TADAAAAAA!"

Then I killed it, picked it up, and parked it the right way.

Really! It's only been down in the driveway at 0 miles an hour! REALLY! (and it wasn't even the PO!)

Click here for the full 800x600 image.

Hark! I spayed my clutch lever!

Kenny Rogers fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Jun 17, 2010

# ¿ Jun 17, 2010 03:34

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Taelrin posted:

So, my Shoei Hornet ...
...It also keeps the wasp that blew in my open visor from getting out.

How do you know it was a wasp and not a yellowjacket...

...or a Hornet, coming home?

# ¿ Jun 21, 2010 20:32

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Taelrin posted:

I suppose I can't really say that it was or was not a wasp. I also couldn't say that I could identify a wasp from a yellowjacket from a hornet while not moving much less while approaching it. I know it was yellow, and it bit. That's enough for me!

Doesn't really matter. I had to go look it up, cuz, you know, goon with internet and all.
Yellowjackets and hornets are both kinds of wasps, and there's a quite entertaining scientific scale for 'sting pain' - sort of like scoville units for hot peppers.

Not part of my reading yesterday - just something I remember from a book of limericks from years ago. Written by a newspaperman who was born in Limerick, Ireland, and despised limericks - because that form was not actually invented in Limerick, but in a nearby township.

There once was a man named McBee,
Who found he'd been stung by a wasp.
When asked if it hurt,
He said, 'Yes, it does.'
'I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet.'

# ¿ Jun 22, 2010 18:24

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

UserNotFound posted:

Picked up the front wheel about 6 inches while turning right onto a highway from an intersection. Holy poo poo that was wild. I'll have to practice hard launches *in a straight line* without picking it up, I never want to do that while turning ever again. I'm really not used to the torque of this Monster 750.

God, I did that back in March shifting into second while making a left turn on the SR-250. Picked the front wheel up about 3". Oddly enough, I must have had the bike balanced just so, or the planets must have been aligned, or something, because the front wheel came back down right where it would have been if it'd resembled one of them 'contact patch' thingies the whole time.
Scared the bejebus out of me for a second, followed by a giant poo poo eating grin. =)

I firmly believe that those drat "I just got my bike" Y turns are the leading cause of premature scrape-u-lation. I did the same thing on the BMW. Duck-paddled it 100 yards down the apartment parking lot, dropped it on the left side when I overbalanced turning it around. Thankfully, I'd had the sense to buy a 'pre-crashed' example, and the only damage was a little more rash on the engine cylinder guard.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2010 17:38

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

infraboy posted:

Once in a while theres the typical person who merges onto the freeway then IMMEDIATELY tries to dive into the left most lane because it's A) Moving faster or B) Less cars in it. These type of people are also the type of people who will drive whatever speed they want in said lane and never yield to faster traffic.

I am that guy - but I never yield to faster traffic, because there just isn't any. I do use my brights an awful lot, though.

quote:

...and i'm like "Oh poo poo I bet he is going to go for this lane without checking his blindspot."

I am, however, very much NOT this guy. Center mirror, Side mirror, head check with the word-image-abstraction "motorcycle" in my head. Every time.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2010 06:28

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Aargh posted:

Can you translate the rest into English?

It's already in English, which you apparently do not speak. :v:

Here it is in 'Murican.

Saga posted:

Took a CB1000R out for a test ride yesterday.

Took it to a familiar (on-ramp), peg feeler...

(touching the ground) (they are literally 6 inches long; this is not (leaning over very far at all) and (opened) the throttle (smoothly). Did (a) little dance in the air above the bike as it (swerved back and forth) (a lot) across the (pavement).

Having also discovered that I could (skid) the front wheel with one finger (activating the front brake lever), (I returned) to the (d)ealership to discover that the clever (prior owner) had fitted (Bridgestone Battleax) BT020s to (one liter) (non-faired bike) (and treated them to a weekly dousing in WD40, I don't know). (Insane Clown Posse Reference) (clever emoticon)

# ¿ Aug 3, 2010 22:05

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Z3n posted:

That's not in 'Murican. This is in 'Murican.

That's not 'Murican. Coming from a long line of them, I can tell you that's Scandihoovian, don'tchaknow.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2010 02:57

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

schreibs posted:

Jefferson is a little bit of an odd track because it used to be used by law enforcement/military and the track dried too quickly for them to simulate wet situations so they poured peanut oil all over it.

Does it smell good when it's been baking in the sun all day?

# ¿ Aug 16, 2010 16:37

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Saga posted:

It's in West Virginia.

Hey! John Denver had some pretty nice things to say about West Virginia!

Then again, he also willingly bought a homebuilt plane that had the plane-equivalent of a petcock behind him over his left shoulder - and that's what the NTSB determined was the cause for his failed attempt at converting it to a submarine. I take John Denver's advice with a large hunk of salt.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2010 16:53

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Ghostpilots posted:

Riding a KLX250SF (250cc Supermoto)...I decided to be a RESPONSIBLE AND COURTEOUS SHARER OF THE ROAD and stop.

You are a terrible supermoto rider.

Ghostpilots posted:

Now I pull a mean stoppie that probably got me at least 6" of rear elevation...Immediately afterwards I really didn't feel that scared...

I take that back. Supermoto is your One True Calling...

quote:

...and it was only when my riding partner came up and scolded me

But you have a terrible riding partner. I suggest you buy them a Supermoto. Or a ball-gag.

:v:

# ¿ Aug 30, 2010 17:40

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Here4DaGangBang posted:

A few months back I was following a tradesman in his ute (pickup to you yanks)

Unlikely. We don't get utes here. At all. Haven't since the early '80's.
Not even the fire-breathing Holden VE SS ute that was going to be sold in the US as a Pontiac G8. Which I would have sold a kidney for.

No, instead, we get PICKUP TRUCKS!

Sad, isn't it?

# ¿ Oct 14, 2010 21:13

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

echomadman posted:

I got pulled once and was told "we had to do over 100mph to catch up to you, so you must have been doing 100 mph"

Like a retard I tried to argue that they had to catch me from a standing start and that that didn't mean I was doing 100mph, amazingly logic didn't go down well.

I had a Denver Police Officer pull me over saying I was doing 78 in a 65, when I had the cruise control set for 65 (indicated) from the moment I passed him (at which point I was still accelerating out of the 45 zone into the 65 zone).

This is why I use OpenGPS set to start logging every time I dock the phone in the car dock these days. I'm going to find a way to use it on the bike this summer, too.

(I know now from GPS that 65 indicated is actually 62 MPH. So, yeah, he 'estimated' my speed as being 16 MPH faster than I was actually going...*le sigh*)

# ¿ May 26, 2012 09:40

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Ghost Cactus posted:

I said small things!

I wouldn't recommend cramming your lunch into your rear end, not matter what size your rear end is.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2012 22:21

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

Yes! As a former Florida Resident, I recommend Colorado.
You STILL can't filter, and you can only ride your bike 8 months out of the year, but it's better than California!

# ¿ Aug 29, 2012 22:38

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 13:01

Kenny Rogers: Sep 7, 2007; Chapter One:
When I first saw Sparky, he reminded me of my favorite comb. He was missing a lot of teeth.

ReelBigLizard posted:

Not even close

That map CLEARLY shows that you're near the Jersey Shore.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2012 01:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > You didn't crash but you're still a dummy. [The almost crash thread]