Accountant Megathread - At Least We're Not Actuaries

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Accountant Megathread - At Least We're Not Actuaries

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Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Covok posted:

They take about, on average, 5 to 10 minutes, depending on if you go over your work. They're really, really easy....except people never give enough info so you usually have to call and go "did you have health insurance? Was it from the markerplace?" or something. We charged around 75 to 100 dollars for a 1040-EZ.

As for why people need you to do them...people are loving DUMB! Warning, I've been drinking. Anyway, I once had an rear end in a top hat in my office for 40 MINUTES bitching that he wasn't getting as much as "MY FIANCE~!" because he made more money and, therefore, should get more refund! Like, are you dumb motherfucker? Are you dumb? You're dumb! That's not how it works! Making more money means nothing! What were your witholdings!? I got told to go kill myself and yelled at for telling someone with 6 W-2s that they only withhold on 3 that, SHOCKER, they owed money.

I'm not joking when I say that the average person is a loving brainless moron when it comes to their own taxes. Like, they don't understand anything. I really mean anything. Some people get things, but most don't even understand what witholdings are!

People are dumb. They know they're dumb (somewhat). So they pay an accountant $100+ to make a 1040-EZ. Or they think we will use "accounting magic~!" and get them back 7 bajillion dollars in refund! Or they expect us to lie for them. I had to tell a lot of people we won't lie for them. We had to reject some clients who tried that. There were a lot.

As for the number of returns, complexity is what matters. The average American return is actually pretty quick and easy. You can get it done 100% correct in like 10 minutes. But some returns do take a lot of time to do. If you're returns are more complex, you can do less in a day. I worked on some really complicated returns that took weeks to finish because they were tied to multiple businesses. It just happens most were 1040-EZ so it was quick to fly through.

As for Thor, I took a chance when they did the Jane Foster switch. Stuck with it. And worked my way back. He's a SUPER COOL character and has an awesome history. Walter Simonson's Thor is a must read.

I've definitely had people ask me to lie, which is hilarious and awesome. At an old firm, I had some long time clients complain to my boss when I wouldn't leave like 10k in interest off the return. "We thought you being an attorney meant you could leave stuff off if we told you about it." Yes, attorney client privilege definitely means I can sign a false tax return.

Without giving too much away... the other thread we both participate in is proof positive that a huge number of Americans are dumb as poo poo so I guess you're right.

# ¿ May 4, 2018 00:02

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 16:43

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Hurt Whitey Maybe posted:

Y�all do people? That sounds miserable. I have an Australian company as a client and at least they have tax people and are aware of how US taxation works. Work with the public sounds awful.

Have you ever worked retail? Imagine that, but much angrier. (pay is better though).

Actually a lot of the time it's fine. A lot of the time people are super nice and thankful. The best is when someone does their own return and then I come in and fix it and get them back a bunch of money.

# ¿ May 4, 2018 00:13

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Moneyball posted:

It's a goddamn long gap. I've been taking some college credits too, so I guess I could throw that in there

How long we talking? Any chance of doing some volunteer work while you're studying? I think a gap in the past is easier to explain than a current gap you're asking to have ended. That's just speculation though.

# ¿ May 4, 2018 00:36

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Hurt Whitey Maybe posted:

I worked in retail before, it was great inspiration to get the MAcc and CPA.

So, you know what the public is like. Now imagine that plus the stress of deadlines and thousands (or sometimes millions) of dollars at stake.

# ¿ May 4, 2018 01:40

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Don't take that job unless the other option is homelessness. And even then, I think a temp stint in a shelter might be better than nuking your license forever.

If you're dead loving broke teach English to Chinese kids online in the middle of the night for $12/hour or whatever.

# ¿ May 13, 2018 16:43

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

incels interlinked posted:

Over 400 IRS revenue agent jobs opened today, they journey at the grade 12 level now too.

I want a soul crushing government job so bad.

I came in here to post that I think I just saw the worst 1120-S I've ever seen. It was prepared by someone at a bookkeeping firm who was not a CPA and not and EA. I'm not going get into the details, but it made me go "...wait, what?" like 4 times.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2018 21:45

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

black.lion posted:

Hey y'all! My co-worker is considering becoming an EA; has anyone around here done that exam? How long did you study for it/what materials did you use? TIA!

I used the PassKey books because I was on my own and they were the cheapest. I studied for three months and took all three sections in the same week and passed all of them. I got my CPA a few years later but I was working in tax so the EA did help me get started.

Covok, glad to hear poo poo is working out for you! Are you not a CPA? I wouldn't bother getting the EA if you're already a CPA but it's worth getting if you know CPA is a few years away or just not in your future at all. I don't put EA on my business cards or e-mail signature at this point. Just CPA, even though I technically could do CPA, EA, Esq., but I think I'd look like a toolbag doing that.

I came in here to talk about the 2018 1040 redesign

# ¿ Dec 28, 2018 18:24

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

For CPE I'm going to do one of those self study package deals. They give you a PDF and you can ctr+f your way through the exam usually. You can get through 40 hours in a work day or less.

CPE is kind of stupid because no matter what you're learning as you go. So I look at it as a formality.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2018 18:29

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Hey everyone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thanks.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2019 21:36

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Good Citizen posted:

I hate everything and everyone. Especially this job and myself

It's like, I want to kill myself, but I know I can't until April 16.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2019 15:55

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Hurt Whitey Maybe posted:

And put up with another month of this poo poo? If suicide is selfish I�m at the very least letting people remember me by all the work I didn�t do.

Personally I�ve been hoping for like a dude in a Mercedes to hit me in the crosswalk on the way to work. Sue his rear end and hopefully not be able to go into work.

Hell I�d be down just to have my fingers run over.

Yeah same. I had my first panic attack ever in February. I went to the emergency room because I thought it was a heart attack. Now I wish it was.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 04:00

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Anyone wanna talk about accounting exit strategies? I'm thinking teaching English in China sounds nice, or possibly a life of crime.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2019 16:40

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

black.lion posted:

Just charge out the rear end for good bookkeeping; people around here that have bookkeeping-only businesses charge sooooo much for bookkeeping, and they still do it wrong and we end up having to fix it to do our mutual clients' returns. They literally are like "pay us $150/hr for bookkeeping but fyi we don't do payroll stuff bc we don't understand it"

If I didn't love my job I'd be doing freelance bookkeeping remotely from a coffee shop bc apparently its lucrative af

I'm listening.

lmao is payroll even that hard?

Are the people charging $150/hour CPAs? I'm a CPA. If I could charge $150/hour I'd literally work 1 hour per day lmao.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2019 01:26

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Remember those posts I made exactly yesterday and 50,000 years ago at the same time?

I've pretty much been thinking non-stop about setting up a remote bookkeeping service. I can't leave Costa Rica because of my marriage (which is also crumbling, so maybe this restriction will change) so I'd have to have an online business.

I wonder if I could do that without getting fired. My firm doesn't do bookkeeping directly. I also don't remember how to do it but I figure I could re-learn it pretty quickly.

It's normal to have constant pain and pressure on the entire left side of my body and for my vision to be blurry a lot of the time right?

# ¿ Apr 1, 2019 20:42

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

lol for breakfast I had a gigantic baguette, like 100g of cream cheese, left over beef, and four chocolate bars.

Yes I stress eat and gain weight why do you ask?

# ¿ Apr 2, 2019 19:42

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Covok posted:

kill me

Me first.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 03:49

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I'm gonna drink so much wine in like 3 hours. My list is done. I'm here for last minute extensions that come in.

I used Ninja to pass. I wish I'd failed and I'd still be an EA at the lovely accounting firm around the corner that's so slow people get weekends off.

Even if you go with another study group at least get the ninja notes and copy them by hand twice each section. It's magic.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 03:51

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Is anyone else just gonna have a good cry after this? I wish the ability hadn't been socialized out of me. I feel like a good 3-4 hour cry after season would be pretty nice.

Hey I have 5 consultations tomorrow lmao.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2019 03:55

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Simpsons Reference posted:

Protip: Can't get fat during busy season if you go in to it already fat

Can get fatter, though.

Anyone else break 3 bills this season?

# ¿ Apr 23, 2019 04:39

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Elephanthead posted:

This. There are so many clients that pay a ton for terrible work and have no idea how bad it is even large entities that are getting crap at high prices. I picked up a 75k a year clent whose bank rec was off 3 million bucks. It takes a day to enter a month's worth of their transactions. It costs maybe a couple hundred bucks to start a firm in your state if needed to maintain your licensing requirements. I used upwork to get started, most of the people there are crazy, but your resume is public and people will contact you including the whale that just called me out of the blue and said I need help. Take my money. Even if you just use quickbooks online for small clients they make it super easy to maintain and bill right from the software. (Pfft account controls are the auditors problem)

I want to talk to you about this a bit more. I think you don't have PMs or it's possible I just don't understand how the forums work anymore. I assume you have e-mail or the ability to send e-mail, since we're speaking after the year 1989. If you feel like talking to me about this please shoot me a line at wolvieclaws123@gmail.com.

# ¿ May 2, 2019 18:06

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

At about 4:00AM on the 16th I vomited profusely, then slept for about 30 hours straight.

How many tax returns do you think you did this year? What does your firm bill on average for a return?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2019 16:32

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

That's a lot. I only did like 200 this year but our average billing is like 700 so I think we're doing more complex ones.

I'm wondering about the economics of just going solo and just saying "nah" to anything complicated enough that I don't already know how to do it. If I could bill 275 and get 300 clients I'd be significantly cheaper than my nearest competitor, have more money, and probably fewer work hours. But then there's the "would they come in the door?!" problem.

Hellblazer187 fucked around with this message at 19:32 on Oct 18, 2019

# ¿ Oct 18, 2019 19:23

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I got my ea studying with the passkey books.

I hate this tax season (I hate all of them I'm gonna become a math teacher I think.)

# ¿ Oct 15, 2020 18:50

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Anyone still feeling tremendous burnout? Like Deadline is 40 whatever days ago and I just want to sleep 100 hours a day?

I started this thread because I was career changing from law, decadeish later I gotta change again.

Is there a "drug dealer" thread yet? Maybe I could start doing that.

# ¿ Nov 25, 2020 18:08

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Congrats!

# ¿ Dec 16, 2020 15:52

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I got this one client, I think I'll quote him $9,000 next year. Relatively simple tax return I just don't want to do his work. Last year I charged $600. I am not sure if my bosses will let me go that high but I will ask. I just think it would be really fun to write like: "I also wanted to let you know we will be increasing the fee this year. Last year your fee was six hundred ($600) USD and this year it will be nine thousand ($9,000). Please let me know if you'd like me to send the engagement letter."

# ¿ Dec 19, 2020 18:19

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

I remember my corp income tax was all about different kinds of mergers an reorganizations and it has essentially never come up in practice for me.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2021 03:51

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Mush Mushi posted:

Have you ever... loved taxes?

No.

Mush Mushi posted:

I was wondering if even accountants fall in love? Do you think love can bloom, even during busy season?

No.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2021 21:47

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

FAR sucks PPP sucks accounting sucks.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2021 20:55

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Dear Annoying Client,

This letter is to inform you that your fee will be increased this year from $475 to $15,000. Also our payment terms have changed. We accept payment in cash only, deliverable personally by you to the summit of Mt. Everest.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2021 20:50

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

That's really strange, because the fees in the UK are pretty high. I do US Expat taxes primarily and local firms in the UK will often charge like, a grand for a pretty simple 2555/1116 tax return.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2021 15:31

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

KirbyKhan posted:

Everywhere in the world where a rich American could live needs a US Tax professional. Unlike other countries who leave their expats the gently caress alone, the United States taxes your income no matter where you are no matter how long you've been gone.

The first two years out are tax free, but if you go all dances with wolves you gotta kick up to your motherland otherwise ~consequences~

You have to file. With the FEIE and the FTC a big portion, a substantial majority, do not need to pay anything.

There's absolutely no "first two years out are tax free" rule whatsoever.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2021 00:33

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Flowers for QAnon posted:

Do you folks have any recommendations on finding an accountant? I�ve had some major life events and previously did my taxes w TurboTax small business. Not sure if I should just research on Yelp?

It depends on your situation. Most likely Yelp or similar is going to be your best bet, but there are special cases. For instance, if you own a farm, you want someone with experience with Schedule F because most accountants who don't specialize there see that form once a decade. Depending on the nature of your business you'll just want to make sure you get someone who has experience helping clients with that business type if there are any special rules associated with it. I think construction is one of the main areas where this is true. Anything to do with oil and gas, also. In most lines of business this is probably not an issue and whoever you find on Yelp will be fine. Also might want to check with friends and colleagues if they have a recommendation.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2021 20:14

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Uranium 235 posted:

What about finding an accountant to help me trader tax status, section 475 election, deciding whether to incorporate or not? I have no idea whether that's considered basic stuff or if it's more specialized. I've been trading for four years and I'm at a point where I can do it full time for a living, so I think it's time to stop uploading 100-page 1099s into TurboTax.

That's specialized, in my view, but not so specialized that most accountants can't figure it out. I've had clients where I've worked through that with them but I prefer not to because it's slightly out of my comfort zone.

Honestly I really just want the easiest clients I can get because I'm burned out lmao. If I was trading significant volume I don't think I'd want to be my accountant's first go round with this stuff, though.

black.lion posted:

Yea any accountant should be able to take care of that, yours are my fav kind of returns

I agree with this re flowers for Qanon.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 18:47

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

mojo1701a posted:

Oh, I'm definitely getting some US tax certification once I get this.

Getting an EA (enrolled agent) license is relatively easy. It's just three tests, taken at any prometric center. The hurdle for getting a US CPA license can be pretty high for a non-US person, because you need to have a CPA sign off on a year of work experience. Getting an EA doesn't require that and could potentially get your foot in the door. Especially if you're looking specifically at US/Canada cross border stuff and you've already got a Canadian CA license.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 16:56

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Empress Brosephine posted:

I never even thought of something like that either; I live a hour away from the Montreal US border and would love to move to Canada�is that something I could feasibly do down the road with a EA?

Well it's a US license so it wouldn't help you get to Canada necessarily. Unless I misunderstood Mojo already has or is obtaining a Canadian license and wants some kind of US license to go with it. If you already have any kind of US license an EA doesn't add much additional benefit IMO. I'm not sure if there's any kind of Canadian license that would be relatively easy for a US person to get.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 17:09

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

mojo1701a posted:

Yes, I'm currently a CPA candidate (found out that's technically what I am now, and not a student, thanks to workshop quizzes), working on a Canadian CPA, but I figure getting some kind of education or licence to do US taxes can't hurt.

Not an actual US CPA, because to be honest, I have no real interest in moving or working in the US (unless I got one hell of a salary), so it'd be something to help me pad my resume and compensation here.

You wouldn't necessarily have to move to the US. The process to become a CPA is basically:
1 - have five years of college education. So one extra year after a normal univeristy degree. Many just choose to go for a masters degree while they're at it, but it's not necessary for most states
2- Pass four exams that are fairly difficult
3- Work for one year under the direct supervision of a US CPA.

Number three is a big road block for most international candidates, but if you worked at one of the cross border firms there'd probably be at least one US CPA in the office who could sign your experience ticket. That said if you're already going to be a CA CPA the EA license will be way easier to get and likely just about as valuable in that situation.

Edit: I should mention I work in US Expat tax mostly. I live in Central America but I'm very very gringo.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2021 17:47

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Congrats!

# ¿ Feb 20, 2021 05:17

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Ungratek posted:

Not good news. I can't deal with anything perma-busy season year.

I've got mixed feelings. If it extends 2017 amendments that gives me some breathing room on some projects I let linger way too loving long.

I mean I know I'd just let them linger for 2 more months but you know.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2021 16:24

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# ¿ May 13, 2024 16:43

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

It's like a 10k raise in gross USD terms, but you'll have less take home if you're paying UK taxes (which are higher than US taxes) and London rent (which is higher than Atlanta rent).

I'd still probably go for it for the experience of living in London. 75kGBP/105kUSD is a good salary IMO.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2021 19:39

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Accountant Megathread - At Least We're Not Actuaries

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