|
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjtTbuoCY0I My first short film, "Violet Lee". I never took film classes or anything. Just wanted to make a film. Shot on a Sony DSR-PD170 borrowed from a friend that teaches TV production. You can check out the director's commentary at my website. Would love to hear what you think about any aspects. I wrote, directed, and edited (using Final Cut Pro 7). First time really doing any of this stuff. Okay thanks!
|
#
¿
Aug 18, 2011 01:12
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 19, 2024 13:16 |
|
|
Jalumibnkrayal posted:Did I miss something, or is this just 13 minutes of two women eating food? Is this a fetish video? No plot, pretty much no dialogue, no acting. Just...eating food. Well, I put the director's commentary link right below it. The main character, played by the Asian girl, has some bad social anxieties and OCD. You can see this by counting things - for example, how she stirs her food, the number of blueberries she puts on the oatmeal, how many steps she takes in between running her fingers through her hair. Also, the time signature of the music (5/4). The other character, she's staying at a hotel, so she's a tourist. A friendly, maybe annoying tourist, who just tries to be friendly to the wrong person. The girl interrupts the Asian girl's routine a few times - she's late to work, after she has lunch. So forth and so on. Then, the one day, where it says Thursday, we've established her routine. Everyday for breakfast she does this, everyday for lunch she does this, everyday for dinner she does this. Well, Thursday is an unusual day for her, a break from her routine. That's why she's not at her office, she doesn't leave for lunch, and the other girl, we saw her leave lunch and go back to the hotel and then come back out. Well this time she leaves lunch, goes into the hotel, but doesn't come out. Well, that's because the other day she told the girl exactly where she could find her. So the Asian girl was just waiting at the hotel for her to come there. When the music changes later (trying not to give much away), the time signature changes to 6/4. The stirring changes, the number of blueberries changes, etc. And then, at the end, when she looks around her table, it's still empty, but she sees six empty chairs, whereas before there were only five. So there are lots of audio and visual cues to follow. spoilers here The idea here is that the Asian girl has very bad social anxieties and OCD and has to follow her strict routine. She looks around at the emptiness and loneliness in her life. With the volume up, all she can hear at breakfast is the sound of her own chewing. She gets frustrated by this, dropping the spoon loudly and sighing loudly. She doesn't really smile except at the end. It looks like she's not social at all and has no friends or anyone around her. The changing of the numbers from 5 to 6 is a means to indicate that she is a serial killer. Before, she'd had five victims. Now, though, after killing the tourist, she has six victims. It's a short film and I felt like I needed to pack a whole lot into the film. I didn't want to just spell everything out through dialog, like, "Hey I saw you running your hands through your hair five times, what's up with that?" "Oh, I have OCD." "Hey, why are you looking at me and not just answering my question about where a good place for breakfast is?" "Oh it's because I have to catch my train or I'm going to freak out cause I can't be late." So instead of just spelling everything out, I included lots of audio and visual cues. I know it's hard to pick up on and is asking a lot of attention from the viewer, but I felt like that's how it needed to be. I know it seems like a lot of just eating and stuff, but I felt like, so much of people's days revolves around their mealtimes. Breakfast before you go to work, lunch is when you're out of the office and enjoying some time away from work, and dinner is when you're back home, unwinding, relaxing, etc. I didn't include it so much for any fetishistic reason, just that those times are really important parts of people's days. I cut a whole lot of stuff out, and originally before you see the Asian girl doing her daily routine, I had title cards up that said, "Everyday for Breakfast", "Everyday for Lunch", and "Everyday for Dinner". But I felt like that stopped the pace of the film a bit so I took it out. I know that I probably have a terrible reputation here at CC, and I know it's not entirely unearned. So when I posted the short film, there were things I expected, like, "Wow that's a lot of eating." But I also felt like, listening to the director's commentary and such, that it'd be easier to understand and more enjoyable. I'm pretty happy with the final product. Having never done anything like this in my life - writing, directing, editing, etc - I feel like it's an admirable first effort, especially from someone with no experience or background in film. So I guess, I mean, the finished product is what I wanted and what I expected from the start. Some people might think it's bad but I feel like it's pretty good given what it is. My next effort would definitely include more dialogue, it will be longer, and probably more of a powerful end result. But overall I mean, I feel pretty satisfied with it. After reading all this and maybe listening to the director's commentary, do you get a little bit more of what I was going for, or does it still seem pointless? What about the editing, directing, or any other technical aspects, like, isolated from what you otherwise think about the lack of dialogue and the plot and stuff? I do intend to make more films, because I really loved writing and directing and editing. So I would like to hear any comments or critiques or anything at all. While I do feel like I am very happy with the final results, I also know that it was my first effort and that I will get better in all areas of film. So any critiques and suggestions and stuff like that are appreciated.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 19, 2011 02:43
|
|
|
Magic Hate Ball posted:None of that comes through. Absolutely none of it. What you've produced now is eleven minutes of inept tedium, a lame serial killer twist, and then an even lamer pun, And then number cues, director's commentary, a 15-dollar DVD with "bonus clips"? The only positive thing I can think of to say is "good job on making a movie". You made a movie. Good job. I'm being honest, making a movie requires effort and that's more than most people do, but this isn't the kind of movie that you sell for fifteen dollars, it's the kind you quietly file away and take what you've learned and apply to your next movie. You put an incredible amount of thought into the concepts behind the film. Next time put more thought into the film itself. It's overlong, it's badly edited, it's pretty crappily shot, the sound design is naive at best, it's basically nine out of ten first student films. Not a troll. And I guess if the one thing I accomplished is actually making a movie, then I'll take that. I'm not saying I plan on ever re-visiting this idea or anything, but how would you suggest I take the concept behind everything and translate that into a better film? More dialog, more action, or is is maybe just a lost cause? I've finished it and don't really ever plan to open this up in Final Cut again, but I guess the advice would help. I'm working on finishing the screenplay for what I'm gonna do next - a film about a slave revolt - that I'm gonna film in North Carolina. So anything I can learn at all from this will definitely help with that. Thanks.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 19, 2011 16:40
|
|
|
Thanks to everyone for the help. I'll definitely take it all into consideration. Although I'll never become some super-huge famous filmmaker, I really did enjoy the whole process, so I'd like to keep doing it. Thanks again and if there's anymore stuff anyone wants to share, please do so.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 19, 2011 22:10
|
|