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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Here in China they sometimes make the soy sauce out of human hair swept up off a barber's floor :thumbsup:

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Thanks for the title, whoever bought it for me!

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

pogothemonkey0 posted:

Yo, if you have an awesome generic staple ~chinese~ sauce, by all means post that poo poo. I always try to wing it and never really gently caress up but sometimes I go overboard with the ingredients (because my fridge is full of asian things I pick up almost literally at random). I'm a huge fan of thai food and therefore fish sauce, but I need to teach myself that fish sauce is not always an appropriate addition to an asian dish. I have this weird aversion to oyster sauce and then wonder why my stir-fry doesn't taste like my local chinese place :saddowns:

My favorite dipping sauce here in China is soy sauce with minced garlic, a bunch of sliced chile peppers, sesame seeds, and a bit of sesame oil. Not really a stir fry sauce, but as a dipping sauce for a lot of stuff it's great. For a stir fry that tastes good and is easy I really like starting by frying tons of garlic and tons of sliced chile peppers, adding my meat and vegetables and stuff like that, then 1 tablespoon each of soy sauce, shaoxing rice wine, sugar, and salt. When it just starts to get that nice burn, it's done. e: I was taught this by an Authentic Chinese Person, so it's guaranteed to be good

Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

Thanks for all the lo/chow mein words. Helps clarify things for me!

I'm a bit late to the party, but when I think of "Lo Mein" I think of what they serve in Boston when you order it. The closest to that I've found in China is 胡椒牛肉炒面 at Hong Kong style restaurants.

fart simpson fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Oct 19, 2012

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

When I worked at a crab picking shack, we didn't have any special crab tools either. We used a big, thick plastic cutting board cut into clubs to crack the shells and vegetable peelers to dig meat out of tight spaces. Just those two tools are sufficient for just about everything crab related.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Saint Darwin posted:

Yes, but at least we aren't monsters and only eat the tail, legs, and claws.

Sucking the brains out of seaspiders :stare:

I don't know where you're from, but in Maine it's pretty common for people to eat more than just that. Especially older people, who will tell you the tomalley is the best part.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Arglebargle III posted:

Just like any seasoned pan, do not wash with soap. The way to clean it is with lots of hot water and vigorous brushing. The way I was taught was to clean it was to put the burner on high and use a continuous stream of water tossed over the side by the brush action, but that's probably not going to work for a home setup. You want to get rid of all the food residue with the brush and water and sterilize the surface with heat. Once you've finished brushing you could leave a little water in the bottom of the wok and turn the burner back on to sterilize.

Any seasoning that washes off with a bit of soap was just oil residue, not seasoning. Ok bye.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

caberham posted:

That's fujian food :downsrim:

Try the singaporean food websites maybe?


Cool pictures but the dining table is making me really confused :ohdear: Some dishes you have a paper towel underneath and some don't. And why not sit in a half moon setting instead of having the dishes all over the corners where things are easy to spill? And then there's chopsticks with forks and knives :negative:

So are you supposed to sandwich a paper towel between the bowel to keep the main plate clean? I guess I'm just used to having dining mats/cloth. Or just cut a piece of garbage bag and cover the whole table.

Those are paper napkins not paper towels, bitch.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Arglebargle III posted:

No I agree, this soupy runny egg chicken stuff is good but I could use some crunch.

Shut up nerd

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Arglebargle III posted:

Why do you say such hurtful things?

Because your insanely bad

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Grand Fromage posted:

When I ask Chinese people for recipes they look at me like I have three heads, it's a very un-recipe kind of culture and def do whatever you enjoy eating. Nothing made my Chinese girlfriend laugh more than me measuring things out for a recipe, she found it absurd.

Yeah, my girlfriend finds it simultaneously odd that I bother to actually read & follow recipes but also that I can cook food in styles other than the one I grew up eating. If I want Chinese friends to tell me how to cook stuff I think the best way is to just invite them over to my place on a Sunday afternoon to cook in my kitchen and watch them do it while asking questions.

Or just use 下厨房 because that's pretty good too

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Also gentle reminder:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Only registered members can see post attachments!

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

caberham posted:

Where in japan is mapo tofu tasty? I’m curious to try it out

I had a weird but good one in a little family run restaurant in Kyoto that used that Japanese numbing spice I can’t remember the name of instead of Sichuan peppercorns. It wasn’t amazingly good but it was kinda an interesting take on the dish and pretty deece

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Stringent posted:

Oh God, now you've done it, lol.

I took him to this place once. The concept is kinda like kaiseki but with Chinese flavors.
I explained that, but he's still whinging about BOY THE CHINESE FOOD IN TOKYO IS REALLY BAAAAD!!!!

It makes sense though because he grew up mostly in Canada and if there’s one group of people who hold Chinese food to weirdly specific standards, it’s ethnic Chinese who grew up outside of china

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Magna Kaser posted:

lol if you think it's just overseas.

let me tell you about when [part of china] makes [another part of china]'s food. spoiler: everyone complains a lot.

Come on man why can’t you just let me make fun of caberham

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

ive been stir frying pork with green peppers a bunch recently. its p easy and good imho

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

ate a heckova lot of p deece food in rural hubei during cny. ama.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

7. your insanely bad

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Washing your rice takes like 2 minutes dude

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

totalnewbie posted:

I like the starchiness :D

Turn on your monitor.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Grand Fromage posted:

Rice cooker is a good purchase if you're going to eat rice more than like once a month. Even the lovely $20 one I picked up makes good rice consistently. Frees up a stove spot, you don't have to give it any thought. Literally everyone in East Asia has a rice cooker so it's not like you're being authentic and hardcore only doing it on the stove.

caberham doesn’t have a rice cooker

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Jeoh posted:

sous vide rice cookin

he’ll yeah

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Bronze doesn’t corrode easily even in seawater, op

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Dehumanize yourself and face to 下厨房

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

SubG posted:

Also from Sichuan, but Wang Gang's channel is pretty good nuts and bolts cooking. I think all of the videos have English subtitles available.

Only disclaimer is that there was some recent controversy because he does (or I guess did) his own butchering and fabrication on camera, and some viewers get squicked out by that.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCg0m_Ah8P_MQbnn77-vYnYw

He still does and that owns

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

caberham posted:

And come on man you been to my house a bajillion Times I have a rice cooker. My girlfriend and I hauled it over from Shenzhen because Hong Mong electronics are bad and over priced.

Oh and I had sticky congee this morning with consistency or paper mache

yeah I know

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

I don’t understand what’s wrong with this recipe format, op

https://www.xiachufang.com/recipe/102213820/

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Grand Fromage posted:

It doesn't have quantities. "Chop the right amount of garlic" is what I'm talking about for the uselessness of mainland cooking sites. I've never made it, I don't know what the "right amount" is. If I knew that I wouldn't need to look up a recipe.

your bad snype.

That stuff are basically flavorings that you add to taste. It gives you a nice picture even:

http://i1.chuimg.com/3252a48cfa8a11e6bc9d0242ac110002_2160w_1620h.jpg@2o_50sh_1pr_1l_300w_90q_1wh

You know that they cute up 2-3 peppers so you should be able to get a pretty good idea of how much garlic this guy used, and if you really like garlic or w/e you might add more.

Like I don't think a lot of this stuff exists at all in the format you want, so you're gonna want to learn how to follow this type of recipe and they're not "useless" that's crazy

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2z3-EnHKa8

This guy's channel seems pretty good tbh

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

fart simpson posted:

That stuff are basically flavorings that you add to taste. It gives you a nice picture even:

oh no im turning into caberham

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Just make what tastes good to you mate, if you don’t know what it’s supposed to taste like then what’s the big deal as long as you like it? Are you planning to enter a guobao rou cookoff or something?

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

yeah but like that recipe i posted lists quantities of the main ingredients and then shows pictures of how much of everything else she used with a caption that says "this is how much i normally use but you can use more if you want" i dont know how much more you can reasonable expect out of recipes. not everything is kenji quality. if you can't use this type of recipe as a good starting point then i literally don't know what you're looking for other than taking a pilgrimage to the area of china with the food/style you're going for and asking to sit in and observe a restaurant chef or something.

i mean even given a perfect recipe you're probably gonna be using it as a starting point and the second time around change things up a bit to fit your personal taste.

fart simpson fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Apr 3, 2019

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Rocko Bonaparte posted:

Call me old-fashioned but I just find it odd to call somebody some kind of autist for wanting a recipe in a cooking thread.

your old fashioned

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

nope sorry i dont

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

My favorite easy at home spicy thing is 小炒肉

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Pollyanna posted:

That’s true, but I do know that some stuff requires a wok and a big burner. Is that still necessary for home cooking?

People here overemphasize this stuff. Most Chinese people in cities cook with a wok on basically a similar type of gas burner that you probably have at home and they make Chinese food just fine

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Magna Kaser posted:

while agreeing with your basic point this poo poo is overblown, every gas burner ive had in China has been wayyyyy stronger than ones I've had in the US which feel kind of anemic in comparison.

I guess so

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Human Tornada posted:

It's always disappointing when a Sichuan restaurant around here (SW Ohio)

lol

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Grand Fromage posted:

I've had better Sichuan food in Ohio than in any part of China outside Sichuan.

double lol

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

Grand Fromage posted:

Nah, Jhet and I bought the same seeds and they were poo poo. All my other peppers germinated.

Why don’t you ask one of the Sichuan restaurants around you where they source their erjingtiao

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fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

I kinda like that video

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