Horrible Football Posts From Other Football Forums

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Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Martian Buddy posted:

Just a dash of stupid from the always great NFL.com, on an article on why Matt Flynn picked Seattle over Miami:

The team was 1-15 when he took over and in danger of falling into a Detroit Lions style hole and now they're mediocre and that's partly because of underachieving because of coaching. That's not a bad point.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 16:47

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:09

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Not really a bad "football" post per se, but I found this on ThePhins.com message board in the Hard Knocks thread:

DolfanTom posted:

Probably true, but she was clearly the hottest of the bunch. Garrard's wife is cute, but she's older. Matt Moore's wife is hot, but was recently "spoiled" by child birth. Tanny's wife is well known at this point, but she's almost too tall (very straight legs), and while she's hot, she gets points deducted for that. Les Brown's girl is just straight up drat!!

NFL-related message boards are frequently bad when they talk about football but they might be worse when they don't.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2012 16:01

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

The potential for a gay NFL player to come out of the closest for awareness has hit https://www.thephins.com and whelp:

Boik14 posted:

On any level aside from health/life-death situations for anyone to put themselves ahead of the team like that for unnecessary reasons is both selfish and a distraction to a team. Not everyone in a society has to care about their agenda or view it as correct or place it as a priority above football. I dont think they should be persecuted but I honestly dont place their rights for marriage above my football team winning games. So no, its not bogus.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2013 20:31

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Then again one of the site founders is a loving convicted child molester so here we are

Wait what? Aw hell, I'm paying a child molester money for a VIP sports forum maybe I ought to seriously rethink my life. Avoiding seeing a MikeO post on Finheaven is important to me but not that important.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2013 00:09

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

AAA DOLFAN posted:

One of the founders of ThePhins is a child molester. Not Finheaven

Yeah, I stopped posting on Finheaven because the quality is terrible, but at least there are no child molesters.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2013 14:35

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

So the Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin thing has resulted in some absolute gems from Miami Dolphins message boards:

P h i N s A N i T y posted:

Something tells me that Martin is a homosexual. I think they call that gaydar, but it fits in with this mysterious drama. It was supposedly a cafeteria prank that set Martin off..... Fruitcake, anyone ? Seriously though I'm starting to think/hope that's what this is about.

NyPhinfan posted:

Finally someone said it. Just pure speculation but it's been hinted at since Day one and throughout this fiasco. Just watch how quickly this thing gets used and made an agenda about. First thing that popped into my head. Reason why it's been kept hush hush and dealt with pillow hands.

Vertical Limit posted:

Never thought of that angle but now that you brought it up, I think he is..

# ¿ Nov 4, 2013 19:16

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Here's some more Richie Incognito/Jonathan Martin stuff from ThePhins.com:

PlanB posted:

When they grow up believing they are a victim from birth;
Martin's father, Gus Martin, is a Harvard University graduate and a professor of criminal justice administration at California State University, Dominguez Hills.[1] Martin's grandfather, also a Harvard alumnus, was a professor in international development.[2] Martin's maternal great grandfather was a Harvard student in the 1920s, one of a dozen African-American students there.[3]
No way they were not going to the media with this and turn this whole thing into something its not. Incognito is screwed blue and Tattooed. He messed with the wrong ****er to coin a phrase. (I hate that word as much as anyone) . But this is a grown 340 pound man running home to mama and papa. A Professional NFL player! God I hate the media for becoming a tool to help feed this victimization mentality. Ritchie is an *******. We all know that. But I truly believe all texts ,emails were taken out of context. Ritchie will be served on a platter to feed this B.S. and J. Martin, a boy among men will get a hefty settlement for being a victim. Something he was taught to be from birth.

vt_dolfan posted:

Im not saying this is the only reason, but I believe it has significance.

The NFL has been marketing directly to younger women. And there is a significant reason as to why they are doing this. These are the younger women who will most likely be having babies within the next 5-10 years. As the kids grow, with all of the PR hit the league has taken regarding safety in football, if a mother feels the game is unsafe, she will be less likely to allow her son to play the game. This was discussed in pretty long length at the beginning of the week on the Colin Cowherd show.

quote:
�Softer� NFL Turns To Merchandising, Women To Expand Fan Base

The guy who earlier posted the bit about Jonathan Martin being gay had another thread he started edited, so he re-edited his post into this:

P h i N s A N i T y posted:

Post altered by mod, I'm not going to be bullied by mods being bullied.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 18:40

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

some guy from ThePhins.com posted:

Title: I have a theory regarding the injuries

The wide nine defense puts added pressure on the linebackers and safeties. It forces them to come up and fill the voids in the c gaps left by the defensive ends lining up out wide. This means that linebackers and safeties have to regularly take on bigger linemen and tight ends in order to stop the run in those gaps. A responsibility that would normally be covered by bigger defensive ends in a traditional 4-3.

If you look at our major injuries on defense. Misi, Jenkins, Jones, and Abdul Qudus are the four players who went on injured reserve this season on defense. All of them either linebackers or safeties.

We didn't have any major injuries among the other units other than Xavien Howard who was already dealing with knee issues before the season began.

I blame the wide nine scheme for our increased injuries among the linebackers and safeties.

What is it about Wide-9 fronts that get fans that half-know what they're talking about so riled up?

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 21:34

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:09

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

Kalli posted:

It didn't work for the Eagles that one year so is the devil.

It's an interesting theory at least, that requiring your LB's and safeties to crash into linemen more often on run blitzes might lead to more injuries, but I wouldn't put any stock into it unless someone sat down and made a really convincing argument with visual evidence of linebackers slapping into the chests of 325lb guards over and over again.

Yeah, but it's no different from in any number of other defenses running aggressive 1-gap fronts. If you're not 2-gapping someone, you've got a defensive back having to have a run fit. It isn't just a Wide-9 front where it's inside of the formation.

Amy Pole Her posted:

Oh I'll help

Stop reading finheaven

Excuse me, it's the other website.

And I can't give up the stupid Club Level inside information even though it's frequently probably bullshit.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 23:56

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