Backyard Chicken Keeping: There's Poop Everywhere!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > Backyard Chicken Keeping: There's Poop Everywhere!

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Inveigle posted:

Photos of an adorable Sicilian Buttercup chook. From Imgur. Open in new window for even larger image.

VS: you need a couple of these!

It's adorable right up until it headbutts another chicken with that crest and rams the ovipositor down its beak. Then in a few hours you've got an acid-bleeding Xenochicken bursting out and pecking people to death.

Neddy Seagoon fucked around with this message at 11:35 on Aug 25, 2015

# ¿ Aug 25, 2015 11:31

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 00:34

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Velvet Sparrow posted:

I'll see if I can make this a condition of giving them my blessing.

See if you can get them to put his full name and title of Weedcat; His Majesty, King Fluffypants in there somewhere :allears:

# ¿ Oct 8, 2015 04:12

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Lynza posted:

Happy Halloween!

I think you misunderstood the term "chicken of the sea".

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 07:26

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

I don't know why, but I love all the little chicken footprints in the snow :allears:

. Any word on Dr. Weedcat Fluffypants, Chicken PhD being published?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2015 12:29

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Cockatoos aside, you know it's an Aussie backyard when there's an old Hills Hoist clothesline in the backyard. No-one buys them, no-one knows where they came from, yet nearly every Australian backyard has one in some version or other :allears:

.

Also I got five bucks on the Chooks to win against the Cockatoos. They look like scrappy little buggers :homebrew:

# ¿ Dec 3, 2015 09:35

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Vaga42Bond posted:

My friend was going home (while carrying a rotisserie chicken dinner, of all things), when she encountered this fellow.

Any identification as to what breed he is?

"That's my wife you're carrying under your arm. Prepare to die, human :toughguy:

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 02:38

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Lynza posted:

My idiot birbs hang out in front of our door when the weather's bad. Never mind that they have a spacious, clean, dry, and warm coop they could hang out in. Oh no. It's 25F, there's an inch of ice on the ground, and they're making GBS threads it up in front of my door.

They're waiting for you to come let them in to your house. You shouldn't be so rude to your birds :colbert:

# ¿ Jan 8, 2016 08:30

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Velvet Sparrow posted:

^^Love the reaction.

Well, our team of experts has carefully done their duty and checked our Powerball ticket...

...and stamped it 'Not A Winner'.

You should've let them peck a winner.

:haw:

# ¿ Jan 11, 2016 02:44

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Avshalom posted:

i had one tiny black australorp duckwing cross try to brood 22 eggs. she spread her wings out to try to cover them all so for a few days she was a flat plane of feathers about 14 inches wide and 2 inches deep with a furious pointy face. then our big white sussex cross hen jumped into the nesting box with her, they brooded the eggs together - they'd leave at the same time to feed and have a bath and another chook would come in and gently turn the eggs while they were gone - and although they lost most of them to ninja reptiles they ended up with six chicks, which they've raised cooperatively ever since. they sleep in the same box still and never leave each others' side. gay hens

I belive the term you want is "Lesbihens" :v:

# ¿ May 10, 2016 06:31

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Shifty Nipples posted:

Alright now it's really weird since I don't have a rooster so my kid is in the refrigerator. Don't call CPS on me

Generally you talk with your spouse about an abortion instead of forcing it, sicko :rolleyes:

# ¿ May 17, 2016 03:36

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Brawnfire posted:

I think my four adult chickens have formed an a capella group. Every afternoon, they spend about twenty minutes on a weird, spooky and complex song, each with different parts. Right now, they're doing it and they sound like loving churchbells. It would be beautiful if they didn't look so creepy doing it.

When four foul fowls gather to sing in unison, it is the cold bittersweet melody of demise that echoes from their beaks. A warning and a sad farewell to those that are unfortunate to bear witness to their haunting song, for they know Death stands in your shadow and will come to claim you when their song is sung thrice by thrice.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2016 05:34

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Chido posted:

After 5 years of having chickens, I'm gonna give them away. I don't really clean the yard of chicken poop and my brother-in-law does that instead, but with two dogs, having to rotate who has access to the yard gets tiring. I also work until 5pm and get home until 6, don't really have time to look after them. I'm also tired of having to deal with three mutt hens fighting until their faces are so swollen when they are broody and they all want the exact same nest (not to mention them biting my hands hardcore when I separate them). I also want to move out of my sister's house in 2 years or sooner, and I won't be able to find a place I can afford on my own that would allow me to bring chickens.

So two hens and the rooster will probably go to the feed store. A lot of people in my neighborhood keep chickens, so i'm not worried about them not finding a place soon. The other 4 hens (godzilla, megatron, turkey and waffle) are very people friendly, so I might be able to find somebody who'd want them as pets. I hope I can find somebody who wants 5 year old chickens -_-

You can try getting rid of Megatron, but she'll be back. Megatron always comes back...

# ¿ Jul 4, 2016 05:24

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Cythereal posted:

Crossposting from PYF.

https://i.imgur.com/IOyGbe0.mp4

"I have made a grave miscalculation :catstare:

"

"...okay, this is actually alright..."

# ¿ Jul 16, 2016 02:02

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

samizdat posted:

Here's an example of the hoarse chick voice. I hope that site isn't garbage, I don't know what the equivalent to imgur is for videos.

There's this new fad site called Youtube, you might not have heard of it :v:

. Just set it to Hidden and the only way anyone can see it is by linking it directly.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2016 04:21

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

spookygonk posted:

Cross posting from the gif thread:

http://i.imgur.com/SZY6Q5z.mp4

Chicken outta nowhere!

The guy's double-take just slays me.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2016 08:34

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

MisterOblivious posted:

So graceful!

http://i.imgur.com/UoSQWI3.mp4

Some poor fucker struck a chicken with their sword again :stonk:

# ¿ Aug 19, 2017 05:40

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

I'm already eggcited :smuggo:

# ¿ Oct 5, 2017 13:34

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Well I guess that teen actually was telling the truth when he said he gets all the chicks.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2017 01:42

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

How the gently caress are Quails not extinct? :suspense:

# ¿ Dec 29, 2017 08:12

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

MisterOblivious posted:

Queuing up stupid names: pets shouldn't have people names.

Clucktumbulous Penbuck. The Third.

Baw'kfluff F'thagn, the feathery demise.

Hellcry Blacktalon, Eater of Worms.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2018 16:21

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

As they're being born at easter, I vote for naming one either Bunny or Rabbit :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 29, 2018 02:08

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

my cat is norris posted:

The most amazing thing happened to me today!

Chickens love croissants.

https://youtu.be/CZHt-hGqw50

The noise she makes when the croissant is all gone is hilarious! Do they always do this?! Are they always so much fun?

I scooped and snuggled her, too. She had zero complaints. A very good birb.

"WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'THERE ISN'T ANY MORE CROISSANT'?! :argh:

# ¿ Apr 2, 2018 04:11

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

my cat is norris posted:

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! Where I am in Pittsburgh, PA, quail would be way easier to keep than chickens, and potentially less bothersome for my neighbors, so even if they are suicidal loving morons, I want to give them a shot for sure. Death seems like kind of a thing you gotta get used to whenever it comes to livestock of any kind, so I'm mentally bracing myself for it.

The trick is probably to get enough that they reproduce at the same rate they die to their own horse-like stupidity, and be happy that there's the same number of them today that there was yesterday.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2018 13:32

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

ynohtna posted:

They're in stock in the UK!

So your chicks are gonna have big boobies? :wiggle:

# ¿ May 4, 2018 13:35

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Quails seem to have an innate lust for their own demise that puts horse stupidity to shame.

# ¿ May 15, 2018 03:15

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

this broken hill posted:

my post history itt has been as follows

me: i'm going to train a quail to fly a plane
fluffy bunnies: not possible, they're too stupid
me: ah, you just don't know them like i do

*two days later*

me: many good men died today

# ¿ May 15, 2018 09:31

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

I can only assume the moment they step out of your shadow into direct sunlight they spontaneously combust in a burst of pretty yellow feathers.

Or they try to peck the ground and somehow end up fatally headbutting it instead.

_{Seriously though, I hope Gnocchi does okay .}

# ¿ May 18, 2018 13:11

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

hailthefish posted:

Poor Gnocchi, pasta way :ohdear:

# ¿ May 23, 2018 13:50

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

I've got odds on three being still alive at the end of the week, who's in? :shepspends:

# ¿ May 30, 2018 02:00

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

At one point I was running over 100 quail in tractors. I hadn't had any die for a whole month. I walked outside and fed them. One got so excited about a spare piece of pepper that it promptly fell over dead from a massive heart attack. It was 12 weeks old.

The others in that tractor immediately converged on it and I had to get fireplace gloves to pull the poor stupid thing out so I didn't get savaged.

Poor Freckles; thought of pepper and passed away.

# ¿ May 31, 2018 02:43

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

I'm fully expecting Moon Unit to randomly turn up alive and well within a week now, just to confuse you all the more.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 05:44

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

spookygonk posted:

That hen was on a mission.

And it was eggsecuted perfectly :dadjoke:

# ¿ Sep 17, 2018 11:36

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

One of my rear end in a top hat chickens attacked my foot tonight so I screamed at it and chased it across the yard. Feels good man. Don't peck toes, shithead.

I'm gonna guess it's even-money your rear end in a top hat chicken has discovered their new favourite game of "peck toe, get chased".

# ¿ Oct 19, 2018 02:21

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

McGiggins posted:

With a huge yard like that, how could you not free range those feathery bastards?

# ¿ Nov 3, 2018 15:50

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Cythereal posted:

https://i.imgur.com/KaPyzng.mp4

Well that's that question answered, I guess.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2018 21:24

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Clearly one of them needs to be Tractor.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2019 05:37

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Velvet Sparrow posted:

Welp, the eggs went into lockdown today 5 hours ago, the hatch is due on 4/20 and I just checked them...

And OF COURSE one of the banty eggs has pipped. #28, the smallest egg in there...I had a feeling. Three days early, I poo poo you not.

It's that little white bastard out in front in the middle (I KNEW), right behind the big brown #6 and big green #14. Yay for high altitude hatching...*sigh*. If anything happens, we'll start the cam...hopefully the little stinker will wait, tho.

You know, generally you're supposed to hide eggs for your kid to find during Easter, not keep them all in one place.

( :peanut:

)

# ¿ Apr 18, 2019 02:45

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Sounds like a new office pet to me.

Come onn other eggs! :ohdear:

# ¿ Jun 13, 2019 02:44

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

5er posted:

My pack of cluckfaces, settling in for the night.

(lol at my raw phone uploads being so loving huge but I just can't be bothered to open yet another program to properly scale my stupid vanity pet pictures)

Put an 'h' on the end of the image url.

code:


[url]https://i.imgur.com/gnXrQnuh.jpg[/url]

# ¿ Jun 14, 2019 02:44

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 00:34

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Velvet Sparrow posted:

How's his widow coping? :ohdear:

# ¿ Jul 2, 2019 01:57

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