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fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Pookah posted:

Is the texture raw or cooked? If it's raw it sounds like a type of kachumber, which is delicious :)

It's raw, but I don't think that's it. It's served with the tamarind and mint sauces as a condiment. It's bright red and spicy and full of crunchy raw onions. I don't think there's any other chunky ingredient in there.

e: I think I finally found it https://greatcurryrecipes.net/2012/06/10/how-to-make-that-red-onion-chutney-that-restaurants-serve-with-papadams/

fart store fucked around with this message at 21:48 on Oct 20, 2019

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fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

SHOAH NUFF posted:

Best online vendor for dried porcini mushrooms? Afraid of how cheap some of them are on Amazon

try here:
https://purcellmountainfarms.com/search?type=product&q=porcini

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Big Willy Style posted:

There's this sandwich shop I frequent that has a lemon and chive mayonnaise that I want to replicate but can't figure it out. It is not like normal mayonnaise, it is a fluffy and smooth emulsion like Lebanese toum, but not garlicy. It is also not green, and just looks like toum

Pretty sure I am not going to get an emulsion happening with just lemon juice and some kind of chive oil, what could they be doing to make this?

Edit: the bloke who runs the shop is Greek if that part of the Mediterranean has something along those lines that I am not familiar with

I would try this:
https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/10/two-minute-mayonnaise.html

It's pronouncedly garlicky and lemony and gets fluffier the more you blend it.

Add before the blend a couple chopped up white ends of scallions, if you're determined to keep it from being green


E: or this https://www.greekboston.com/food/mayonnaise-recipe/ which is maybe what he makes. It even calls for herbs of your choosing.

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

kedo posted:

Two questions – how easy is it to lacto-ferment fruits and vegetables (peppers, garlic, citrus) using old, active culture brine with little to no salt? Is it easy to mess up? Any suggestions for amounts of old brine vs. fresh water / other liquids? I have several active cultures going, but they're all pretty salty.

Second – any recommendations for a fermentation bible? I'm looking for a book or website that goes deep into the process and mechanics of it, not just a book of recipes. Is there a thread for it as a general topic? I know there are threads that touch on it (ie. the brewing thread).

1) the salt in lactofermentation is important to prevent unwanted bacteria from growing. Without salt your lacto culture will work and grow, but so will other stuff.

2) the noma guide to fermentation is a good source of info for lactofermentation and vinegar and kombucha and whatever else it covers. It's the book that taught me why you have to use salt in lactoferments! I don't know of a book that talks in depth about every type of fermentation. That would be a big book.


E: I guess fermentation is generally broken down into 3 categories: lacto, acetic, and ethyl alcohol. The noma guide covers the first two, and not ethyl, IIRC.

fart store fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Oct 27, 2019

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

Steve Yun posted:

Can I use a kombucha scoby to kickstart a tepache fermentation?

It might just make pineapple kombucha. How far off from tepache is kombucha, flavor-wise? Apparently tepache normally will become vinegar in a few days and you're supposed to drink it before it gets to that stage. A kombucha scoby might just rush it straight to the end. I am not an expert, though, and my noma book is packed up to move.

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that
i would expect a williams sonoma recipe to be designed to trick gullible hamptons-types into buying 9/10ths of a jar of poo poo they don't really need at a 5000% markup. they probably sell an 18 oz can exclusively at the store.

nthing it doesn't matter


e: i meant to say 1/10th of a jar.

fart store fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Oct 29, 2019

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that
looks like the edit button has disappeared but you can still get to it by hitting reply and then scrolling down to your post and editing from within the reply menu.

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that
I wonder if Daniel Gritzer is a goon. Timely article after the discussion in this thread about nonstick.

https://www.seriouseats.com/2019/10/stop-cooking-everything-on-nonstick.html

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

DildenAnders posted:

Hi I am very broke and love fried rice. So I went to the grocery store and bought a 10lb bag of the cheapest rice, to make for other things and then use the leftovers in fried rice. However, I seem to have made a crucial mistake-I bought medium grained rice. Both times I made it it ended up as this huge amyloid blb, which when fresh tasted bizarrely of tap water (I put a lot of salt into the water thinking it would cook faster.) I realize now that I should have bought Long grain rice, but now that I am stuck with it, how the hell do I make good, non-gelatinous medium grained rice? I am moderately food literate but very stupid, so please no centrifuges or PCR

HELLO MY FRIEND

Step 1 - Wash your rice. Rinse it in the coldest water you can until there's no more starchy runoff. Don't treat it too rough, just gently kinda jostle it around under flowing water until the water is clear. This will take a few minutes and a lot of water. It's okay, it's supposed to.

step 2 - cook the rice. follow the instructions on the rice or whatever your rice cooker says. Try 1.5 cups of water to 1 cup of rice. Don't add salt and stuff at this point. If it comes out gummy, use less water next time. If the rice cooker stops before it's cooked or it burns in your pot, use more water next time. It's up to you to dial it in if the cooker or rice don't tell you a ratio.

step 3 - FLUFF the rice as SOON as it's done cooking. Get some air in there, let the steam out.

step 4 - season and enjoy!


For fried rice, use leftover cooked rice. Start with cold rice from your fridge and fry it in butter or oil with some onions and carrots and peas or whatever you like. Add soy sauce and/or fish sauce or whatever. Butter will help it brown a little. If you want it to have crispy bits, use higher heat and let it sit for a bit at a time so pieces can crisp up between stirring. put some sesame seed or sesame oil in there. Classic "asian" flavors are garlic, chili pepper, and ginger, so if you have any of that, go hog wild.

E: When I was poor, I ate a lot of rice, and my protip is Throw an Egg In There. Fry your rice with some egg(s) scrambled up in it.

fart store fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Nov 2, 2019

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

DildenAnders posted:

UPDATE: A thing tha- uh I mean, Oh how the best laid plans of Mice and Men... Cooked the rice, it seemed good. All the liquid was gone, nothing burnt on the bottom of the pot, my heart soared as I scooped up the most aesthetically pleasing rice I have ever made (not that impressive but still) and... Crunchy. So I put like half a cup of water in it and im gonna simmer it to try and resurrect it. I will also let you know how that goes.

As helith said, you'll get there. Use more water next time.

What brand/type of rice are you using, btw?

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

DildenAnders posted:

I let the rice sit for like 15 minutes after the last batch and while it helped it was still crunchy. Is a crock pot a better rice cooking implement?

What is your process, in detail?
I maybe shouldn't have glossed over the 'cook the rice' part. I'll provide more detail.

1 Cup of Rice
1.5 Cups of water

In a pot with the lid on, bring the water and rice to a boil.
Reduce heat to medium low so it reduces from a boil to a gentle simmer.
Let it cook with the lid on undisturbed for 20 minutes.
Test for consistency. If it's crunchy and still wet, cook longer. If it's crunchy and bone-dry, add water and cook longer. Try five or ten minute taste test increments.
Remove from heat and either fluff it or wait 15 minutes and fluff it
The end


I was thinking maybe you're cooking uncovered, or maybe you're not bringing it up to temp fast enough, or maybe you're trying to cook it at a rolling boil the whole time. Hopefully something about these steps is something you didn't know? Also, if your rice is REALLY old - like multiple years old - that may cause it to be tough to cook. This probably isn't the problem.

Finally, if it's still not working, I recommend getting a SMALL inexpensive rice cooker like this one:
https://www.amazon.com/DECKER-RC506-Cooked-Uncooked-Steamer/dp/B016Y8JSK4
If you have an asian grocer nearby, you may be able to pick one like this up for like nine dollars. Get a small one if you get one - big rice cookers don't do well with small batches.

A crock pot won't be easier to use to make fluffy rice than a regular pot. It would be easier to make like overnight rice porridge with a crock pot, but that's not what you're aiming for.

fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

TofuDiva posted:

Spinach ideas, anyone?

A wonderful family member brought fresh spinach - lots and lots and lots of fresh spinach. We enjoyed salads, smoothies, sauteed it with garlic, put some in soups and ramen, made pesto, stuffed squash with it, and just ate handfuls of it rolled up with a bit of lemon and tahini.

He's now gone back to his island and I still have a couple of generous quarts of the spinach. It's probably past its prime for salads, but would still serve well with light cooking. Anybody have an offbeat favorite that you'd be willing to share?

Spinach sauteed with nutmeg is a classic.
Spanikopita is good.

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fart store
Jul 6, 2018

probably nobody knows
im the fattest man
maybe nobody even
people have told me
and its not me saying this
my gut
my ass
its huge
my whole body
and i have been told
did you know this
not many know this
im gonna let you in on this
some say
[inhale loudly]
im the hugest one.
many people dont know that

C-Euro posted:

I did a long post where you asked this same question in TFF, but feel free to PM me because my wife is Thai and we cook both of these at least once a month. Spoiler alert, we use Maesri brand curry paste out of a can and you should too!

maesri curry paste is the poo poo, and I saw a whole wall of shelves full of it in the pantry at my local very-good-thai-place.

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