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Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

FullLeatherJacket posted:

It's illegal to be mean to people in Britain now
Evans appeals and gets an ASBO barring him from sex for a year.

African AIDS cum posted:

England uses speech laws to preserve their class system and keep dumbs and proles from speaking out
Also they legally think there's no difference between saying something mean on Twitter and saying something mean directly to someone's face.

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Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Still B.A.E posted:

You'd never watch the video again, it'd seem proper weird.
Maybe they do

We're not talking about the brightest people in the world here.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Jose posted:

El Salvador players made a recording of someone trying to bribe them in a world cup qualifier

http://www.si.com/planet-futbol/2016/09/05/el-salvador-players-voice-recording-match-fixing-canada
Whoever tried to bribe them has massive balls because it was only a couple of years ago that about ten members of El Salvador's NT got nabbed in a match fixing scandal.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Bovril Delight posted:

A drill is such a weird analogy, I'm assuming his dick doesn't rotate.
Maybe it has a detachable tip.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003


Don't even have to click the link to know that it's a Guardian article.

They wrote the same kind of thing for The Sun's "BWING ON THE EUWOS" headline, only it was a loving thesis about bullying and regional dialects written by some guy who honest-to-god looked like a rat.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Bobby Digital posted:

I've seen his haircut.
Is that all?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Ewar Woowar posted:

Wrong thread.
Yes but rugby players get up to poo poo that makes sex tapes look tame by comparison.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Enter Enner Valencia...

quote:

Everton striker and Ecuador star Enner Valencia returned to his homeland for a World Cup qualifier against Chile, where he managed to escape a series of encounters with Ecuador’s finest and avoid arrest for unpaid child support.

After a training session this morning, a lawyer representing the mother of his child and some police officers attempted to arrest him and force him to pay the $17,000 he apparently owes in unpaid child support, per the Liverpool Echo. He was not arrested after some of the police officers apparently refused to detain him.

The police then stopped the team bus as it attempted to enter the stadium this afternoon. Agains, Valencia was not detained.

Valencia then started for Ecuador and helped his squad accrue a 3-0 lead over the defending Copa America champions by the time he came off in the 82nd minute. Valencia went down injured, and had to get a golf cart to take him to an ambulance. Thing is, he appears to have faked his injury and used the occasion to get into an ambulance in the tunnel, therefore escaping the police. Video from the game is quite surreal.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Blue Star Error posted:

to be fair, they did bring through far more quality players than they should have done for a club of their size. maybe it helped?
His one-touch drills were a hell of a thing.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

vyelkin posted:

Apparently 350 people have come forward so far saying they were abused as youth footballers

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/dec/01/fa-punish-clubs-cover-up-martin-glenn
It turns out one of the academies actually employed Jimmy Saville on a part-time basis.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Bea Nanner posted:

No it turns out it's just an island of nonces.
The Paedoph Isles

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Lemon posted:

There was less focus on keeping it tight at the back in those days
Was perfectly legal to go in from behind too. Never got a card for it back then.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Turns out Harry Redknapp was a wheeler dealer in all sorts of things.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Blue Star Error posted:

Napoleon Catamite
VOTE FOR PAEDO

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/dec/09/police-confirm-83-potential-suspects-identified-in-child-sex-abuse-scandal

We're up to 21 police forces investigating, 83 potential suspects, 98 clubs possibly impacted, and 639 referrals from alleged victims.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

The claim by Yaya is apparently that someone spiked his Diet Coke.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

pik_d posted:

If he gets done for doping, the fact that he posed for a publicity photo will become even better
lol if he gets done for doping by the Spanish before anyone in Barcelona or Real Madrid

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Actually this is kind of going over into sad territory because you know all the Barcelona and Madrid players are doped up as gently caress but the Spanish FA doesn't give a poo poo.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

You don't need an IV for normal recovery, there's an increasing body of evidence in medicine that IV fluids are harmful if given inappropriately.
Does getting IV fluids at the same time as an epic bj count as inappropriate?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

EvilHawk posted:

Seems pretty rational? If you're investigating if someone has been cheating you can't let them carry on potentially cheating? Same way that if you are being investigated at work for doing something dodgy you get suspended whilst the investigation carries on.
The problem is that there are so many banned substances that can be found in commonly available things that you can accidently take something on the banned list. Even false positives are a problem, which is why there's an A sample and a B sample.

If something gets a clear shot in one of Barcelona's lockers of a bottle that says THESE ARE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS DONT LET ANYONE SEE THIS, then sure. But otherwise players being "proactively" suspended, not playing for months, and cleared of all wrongdoing would happen way too often.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Wirth1000 posted:

Who the gently caress would cheat on Shakira? What.
A loving idiot.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Bacon Terrorist posted:

Didn’t Mad Jens Lehmann piss on the advertising hoardings once?
Back in the day Landon Donovan took a leak on the grass in the home of Chivas during training before US @ Mexico game - might have been during training.

The response was about what you might expect. He had bags of urine and vomit thrown at him during the game.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Sepp is legit fortunate that she didn't snap and try to kick the poo poo out of him or something.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

oliwan posted:

This is probably my favorite non-football football thing ever
Those Leicester City dudes filming themselves hurling racial slurs while having their own hooker orgy and thus setting in motion the events that ended with Claudio Raineri managing the team to a Premier League championship is at least on the same level as this.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

If you're going to take out a bunch of kids in frustration at least dress up like the mascot so nobody knows it's you:

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

The story that just keeps on giving.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Weaponized Cum posted:

Messi is an alpha male and has had a gf for like 25 years
Girlfriend? I thought that was his caregiver.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Okay everyone the Juve president looked Ronaldo longingly in the eyes and asked him about the rape stuff and he feels good about it so everything's okay.

quote:

“When problems emerge I do something very simple. I speak face to face and I do direct questions to judge what's going on”, Agnelli replied when asked about CR7 rape accusations. “I did it with Conte, I did it with D’Angelo [after the banner case] and I did with Ronaldo when the first accusations emerged.”

“I am serene. I spoke to him immediately after that the first accusations emerged. His behavior during the following days confirmed the feeling that I had."

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

pik_d posted:

Its on his left hand and cut off in the preview that twitter gives you. Here's the full image


All I see is the FRESH KID label on his shorts.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Shrapnig posted:

Danny Rose thinks he can only handle 5 or 6 more years of being racially abused before he can walk away from football. I get the sentiment but he’s already made tens of millions of pounds conning people into thinking he’s a competent footballer, why not quit now?
Because he can make tens of millions of pounds more?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

XBenedict posted:

The sale of vanity plates is a commercial enterprise. It is an optional service. Regardless of who is selling them, they have the same right of service refusal that any other business does.
It is pretty much perfectly "American sawker fan" for a Californian to go to court to claim that his Civil Rights are being heinously violated because he's not being allowed to buy a vanity license plate with an acronym that represents his favorite English team.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Troy Queef posted:

dunno how effective this will be in getting fans to stop doing racisms but at least it's something: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/apr/18/premier-league-players-boycott-social-media-protest-racial-abuse
If anything they might make it worse because by quitting for even a day they're kind of admitting the racists won.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

advanced statsman posted:

apparently he posted a 7 minute video to instagram explaining it was extortion, but the video has been taken down since
Yeah because the video apparently featured nude pictures of the accuser so now prosecutors in Brazil are apparently looking to see if they should charge him for that even if he didn't commit rape.

He's not that bright.

Bacon Terrorist posted:

In the France v Bolivia friendly they had a minute's silence for Reyes... immediately followed by the match ball arriving on the pitch in a remote controlled car.
:laugh:

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

someone check the gaps in Eastern European leagues

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

sticksy posted:

Is there a rating for players' roasting of a girl they picked up at a pub which their mates film on their phone? Because I think the white players would excel at that.
There needs to be a Thick-headedness rating for players' tendency to just do dumb poo poo. I don't mean like missing training or publicly criticizing teammates. I mean like Liam Ridgewell wiping his rear end with money or Paul Gascoigne eating cat poo poo pie.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Troy Queef posted:

speaking of Neymar being a oval office, you can judge a man by the company he keeps:
https://twitter.com/jairbolsonaro/status/1136479876373000194
Neymar's always been a Bolsonaro supporter hasn't he?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Vinestalk posted:

Yeah, he and Felipe Melo are loving idiots off the field. Juninho Pernambucano is literally the only Good Player with a working brain.
Why it's almost as if most footballers aren't famous for their brains!

but Neymar really is especially stupid

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Tortilla Maker posted:

https://twitter.com/mediotiempo/status/1150941447950127104

Player in Chile was upset that he was ejected from the match so he leaves, returns with a loaded pistol, and shoots one of the opposing players.

[Don't bother clicking on article; ad heavy]
Why does all of the wildest poo poo happen in the South American lower divisions

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

XBenedict posted:

Look at the state of that pitch for your answer.
That story brought to mind the lower league Brazilian ref that literally got beheaded with a machete a few years ago.

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Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Gigi Galli posted:

Article in Italian

https://www.gazzetta.it/Calcio/Serie-A/Juventus/18-07-2019/trezeguet-fermato-ubriaco-torino-patente-ritirata-340969060527.shtml

David Trezeguet got caught drunk driving in Turin after going to a wine tasting with Camoranesi. At first he refused to take te breathalyzer and called the cops “peasants, poors, you’re not even making 2000 euros”. The he blew a .15 (the legal limit 0.05) and had his license taken away.
Sure, call the cops in a famously corrupt country a bunch of loving peasants that sounds like a fantastic idea.

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