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$350 roommate wanted !! posted:Ok first ok its me and my wifes trailer we only use our room and liveing room when people come over that ain't much. We want a loving awesome roomate. I'm a gear head and she is a gamer. We want someone we can get along with. We both smoke but we have no tolerance for drugs or threesome inquiries. Thanks call me D.A.R.E. to resist drugs and threesome inquiries
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Nov 7, 2011 02:36
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I'm not sure if this really fits but this has been making rounds through my FB friends. I doubt it's real, just someone with an insane fantasy. If it is real, well then this is just plain rude. Something for everyone's reading pleasure. AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi, Alex Because being wanted for making death threats on the president is a perfectly acceptable payback for trying to mug someone. What is with the people who make poo poo up like this? If the guy was so desperate to mug someone, why would he have a credit card--one that had a high enough limit to buy at least 150 gallons of gas?
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Nov 16, 2011 16:31
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Just looks like someone's attempt at viral fame and chain facebook links. Sadly, England's craiglist (and similar classifieds) are tame and boring. Once when I was a teenager I accidently upset a lady whose carpet I walked on in outside shoes when I went to buy a nintendo 64 she advertised. 
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Nov 20, 2011 17:49
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Fast_Food_Knight posted:Sadly, England's craiglist (and similar classifieds) are tame and boring. Eh, there are some gems of madness amongst the regular horny weirdos, but they're much harder to find. I myself was tempted by this one:  The farts for gifts exchange sounds like a fun and easy way to get presents.
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Nov 20, 2011 19:25
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Yeah must admit, seems like a nice little side business.
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Nov 20, 2011 19:32
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I would demand my fart gifts to be wrapped though- pretty paper, ribbon, the works. It's not a real gift if it's not gift-wrapped  Edit: Well, this is a pleasant turn on the story of people on Craiglist stealing your kidneys  madlilnerd has a new favorite as of 20:16 on Nov 20, 2011 |
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Nov 20, 2011 19:55
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madlilnerd posted:I would demand my fart gifts to be wrapped though- pretty paper, ribbon, the works. It's not a real gift if it's not gift-wrapped "Man kills self by removing own kidney, inserting it into torso of man he found on Craigslist" Sinestro has a new favorite as of 17:36 on Jan 19, 2012 |
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Jan 19, 2012 17:34
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Uggh, I've got family in town so I'm fallin behind on my reread. Our travelers are just about to flee Shadar Logoth. This place is so bad rear end and creepy.
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Jan 21, 2012 13:56
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omnibobb posted:Uggh, I've got family in town so I'm fallin behind on my reread. Our travelers are just about to flee Shadar Logoth. This place is so bad rear end and creepy. I see.
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Jan 21, 2012 14:37
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Zubumafoo posted:I see. Totally wrong thread.
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Jan 21, 2012 17:46
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This guy cropped up on the South African Craigslist equivalent. We have all sorts of "traditional healers" and "herbal doctors" preying on the ignorant but this guy adds a little extra to his services.
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Jan 25, 2012 14:00
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Got that earlier today as well, for clarity's sake DSTV is a satellite version of cable.
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Jan 25, 2012 14:35
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http://allentown.craigslist.org/m4w/2771745308.htmlquote:need someone to keep your gas tank filled. get naughty on a steady basis and i will keep you well stocked with gas cards all year long..you would be hot and sexy ..send pic w reply.. or gift card for whatever store u want.. clean white male here
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Jan 25, 2012 16:19
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Oh dear, the OP reminds me of this one I found a few months ago. Baltimore has so many crazy CL posts, I actually started collecting screenshots a couple years ago. Some of my favorites:   Probably  for implied denture sex http://i.imgur.com/ODqsr.png
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Jan 25, 2012 16:55
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I never would have thought that my boring government town had crazies of this variety:  I just want me a waifu!
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Jan 25, 2012 18:41
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You had me at "Why are all women whores?" 
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Jan 25, 2012 18:50
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 Dear internet, please help me convince my boyfriend that I am well adjusted and have long term friends.
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Jan 29, 2012 19:42
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hyperhazard posted:
poo poo! They're onto me! I wish Craigslist was more popular in the UK, there aren't even many cities listed for us. The closest listed to me would be Liverpool, and it is near dead to go through. Topics get maybe one update per week, if that.
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Jan 29, 2012 20:09
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There are some good Weekend Webs on Craigslist. That's where I found this:
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Jan 29, 2012 20:17
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 It comes with a "decerative" ribbon! Just what I need for my bottled farts  
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Jan 30, 2012 02:07
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^^ Think he'd settle for a bear?   edit: Did the poster really need to clarify where he was by adding the location "England?" hyperhazard has a new favorite as of 07:27 on Jan 30, 2012 |
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Jan 30, 2012 07:24
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 Despite the proclamation, I really hope it still is a joke. The337th has a new favorite as of 18:28 on Feb 9, 2012 |
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Feb 9, 2012 18:25
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The337th posted: quote:lovely Baby Tiger Cubs Out for a Stroll for sale for lovely and good home I'm speechless.
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Feb 9, 2012 20:10
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hyperhazard posted:I did a quick Google search hoping to find that it was some kind of satire, and instead, I found this: I have heard that there are more tigers in Texas than in India, but I don't know how true that is. Anyway. Found a doozy on the old Craigslist today! 
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Feb 25, 2012 01:50
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OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities 
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Feb 27, 2012 02:56
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I found some doozies in Missed Connections.     Wouldnt you badly.
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Mar 5, 2012 17:18
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Friends Are Evil posted:I found some doozies in Missed Connections. So close to "Schwanz Delivery" and they didn't bother making the joke 
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Mar 5, 2012 19:03
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 I like this one for just the tiny bit of crazy he puts at the beginning. 
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Mar 5, 2012 19:22
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These two are just sad. I Wish I Could Find a Nice Single Jewish Man (too old and too late) But it will never happen in this lifetime so I will go to my grave never knowing my bashert/ Would U Like an Ugly Punim for Purim? Mine is and it would surely make u run away  This one sounds crazy but it's probably just bad english. Your suck a Fox - m4w - 3 (Newton) You changed your life today. You have suck a beautiful smile and eyes. Your red hair. We glanced at each other today hope u read this and get back to me.
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Mar 6, 2012 22:24
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What does the 17/92 part mean? Age?
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Mar 6, 2012 22:33
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This one will always be my favourite.The Cookie monster's insane brother posted:new york craigslist > manhattan > rooms & shares Cookie guy posted:as this situation is not suitable for all.
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Mar 6, 2012 23:07
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Celery Face posted:This one will always be my favourite. With all the money you'd spend on ingredients (including magical non-oat-oatmeal) you'd probably end up $800 dollars in the hole every month anyway. I'd love to try it, just for a week or too though. I don't hum or sing when I bake, but I do listen to Jazz FM. Must ask cookie monster if that's ok.
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Mar 6, 2012 23:52
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But you can't watch tv shows that aren't about cookies.
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Mar 6, 2012 23:53
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Coconut Indian posted:What does the 17/92 part mean? Age? It's one of the interstates in Central Florida.
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Mar 7, 2012 01:26
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Best of craiglist posted:Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood. Celery Face has a new favorite as of 23:16 on Mar 7, 2012 |
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Mar 7, 2012 23:07
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Celery Face posted:Why do I imagine this guy looking like Rottweiler? I also honestly don't know what he means by "crystals?" Crystal, like Crystal Meth. 
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Mar 8, 2012 18:39
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Celery Face posted:Why do I imagine this guy looking like Rottweiler? I also honestly don't know what he means by "crystals?" I really wish that this was true (I also really wish that I didn't know this), but they're talking about special "Jack Off Crystals" that you charge by doing this sort of stuff with dudes on craigslist (BUT NO GAY STUFF, JUST CHARGIN' OUR CRYSTALS).
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Mar 8, 2012 22:05
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Bear Enthusiast posted:I really wish that this was true (I also really wish that I didn't know this), but they're talking about special "Jack Off Crystals" that you charge by doing this sort of stuff with dudes on craigslist (BUT NO GAY STUFF, JUST CHARGIN' OUR CRYSTALS). Wait, what? Tell us more about magic JO crystals.
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Mar 8, 2012 22:34
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Danger - Octopus! posted:Wait, what? Tell us more about magic JO crystals. I've seen the other post being referred to and I still have no idea. I want to know where all these ideas came from, because all the posts that mention magical JO crystals are written in a similar way. Maybe it is a secret magical JO society?
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Mar 8, 2012 22:40
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woof
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I'm sorta surprised it hasn't come up in here yet, but a lot of these collections of internet crazy folks have these same super mysterious crystals. Someone should go to one of these sessions, retrieve the crystal, and report back with what abilities it has.
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Mar 8, 2012 22:44
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