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A paladin could get good work at a brothel. Combination bouncer and healer for diseases. trying desperately to avoid a “lay on hands” joke
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Apr 20, 2019 21:31
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Where can this masterpiece be found? I must watch it.
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Jul 22, 2019 21:42
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Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:Mutant Crawl Classics @ gencon Friend Computer provides, citizen.
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Aug 5, 2019 18:46
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Grand Prize Winner posted:Back in community college my group'ss DM had two D20s he'd customized with like a dremel or something: one that had only 19 20s and a 1 and one that had 19 1s and a 20. He'd let you roll the good one once per session but in return he'd make you use the bad on one roll of his choosing. This is an awesome idea.
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Aug 14, 2019 13:49
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Synthbuttrange posted:death flag Absolutely this. In my groups, mini bosses get turbomurdered and the one ordinary mook who got away evolves into the big bad.
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Aug 27, 2019 06:02
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Magical Dolly posted:The following letter was received by our DM after she tried talking with a problem player. It came from the problem player's other DM. Goddamn, it’s like you found a real life Deck Of Many Things and drew Flames.
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Sep 5, 2019 05:51
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I must insist you C&D your D&D until you meet my standards - Critical 20, esq.
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Sep 5, 2019 13:42
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Our Rogue Trader DM changed his name to Critical 20 after reading that shameful letter.
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Sep 8, 2019 01:06
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A penis beholder is unique in that its gaze attack causes itself to petrify.
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Sep 9, 2019 14:14
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Kinda feeling ripped off that no one else’s casts Imprisonment.
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Nov 22, 2019 01:15
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LupusAter posted:Well, I guess I'll bring some more wrassletales. I am too in the goon game, playing as Javier aka Fragata, the Luchador. Oh my god he has a literal pepperoni nipple, it’s amazing 
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Jan 7, 2020 07:44
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CobiWann posted:According to my DM, I am not allowed to hire a goblin to follow the PC's around and steal the verbal, somatic, and material signs of the Wizard in order to have the goblin bang on a drum during a fight with the Big Bad to let them know which spells are incoming and if they're worth Counterspelling. The idea of a Goblin base coach has now embedded itself into my consciousness and I cannot dislodge it.
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Jan 14, 2020 18:17
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What you really need is to use whichever Summon Animal lets you summon a rhinoceros and a potion of flesh to stone.
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Feb 28, 2020 02:40
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A combat round is only six seconds though, while a rodeo is eight seconds. Clearly out of bounds for the spell. 
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Mar 2, 2020 10:36
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CobiWann posted:According to my DM, the Lady of Pain rules the city of Sigil by the Rule-of-Three, not by the Rule-of-Threesomes. Bard: “That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo”
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Mar 10, 2020 21:16
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You didn’t need a spell to discover that. It turns out the real adventure was the murderhobos we made along the way.
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Mar 26, 2020 22:42
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CobiWann posted:The PC's are from Tanicus and we're currently about to settle accounts with the Big Bad in his throne room on Tanikus. Open a gate to Tanecus and summon FYAD.
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Mar 31, 2020 01:16
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My favorite was probably the imperial sourcebook, because they go into exacting detail just how ridiculous the empire’s toys are.
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May 6, 2020 06:12
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CobiWann posted:According to my DM, there's a difference between "coming out of the darkness like Michael Myers" and "coming out of the darkness like Mike Myers." It sounds like “Rodan comes through the door with a blaster in his hand” is the solution to either of these situations.
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May 15, 2020 21:30
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My group prefers using tabletop simulator. It’s so real, we even have superstitions about certain dice.
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Jun 28, 2020 20:47
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HellCopter posted:I was DMing a game in Roll20 and removed juuust a little too much fog of war, revealing a bit of hallway behind a hidden door. Of course the players suddenly became very interested in investigating this wall. That’s what they get for trying to metagame. In our rogue trader group, only the ork managed to succeed a forbidden lore check to recognize the tyrannids we just fought, and his knowledge of them is in an extremely orky context. The players all know that the stasis tubes we recovered have rippers in them. Since our characters don’t, we are going to do the logical thing and sell them to a slave trader so we can restaff our
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Jun 29, 2020 07:15
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Try square dancing.
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Jul 4, 2020 07:04
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What about “Summon A Shitload of Dimes” ?
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Jul 22, 2020 15:48
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There has to be a Candygram spell, though. And of course, we all know the somatic and verbal components for the spell “The French Mistake.” Preechr fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Jul 22, 2020 |
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Jul 22, 2020 19:49
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Rogue needs to fake his own decline and death in despair over the cruel joke that was played on him and make the wizard feel like a real piece of poo poo, maybe get a tearful confession at the funeral before the reveal.
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Jul 22, 2020 22:57
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Undeath to Ham. Ennervating Ham. Freedom of Ham. Greater Ham.
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Aug 1, 2020 10:46
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Yawgmoth posted:Pineapple. That only destroys pizza.
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Aug 7, 2020 21:08
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CobiWann posted:According to my ST, the Trump Presidency is not a Malkavian plot that spun out of control. That's because it's a plot by Tzeentch-worshippers that is proceeding just as planned.
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Aug 16, 2020 23:59
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But is there a Power Word: Giggity?
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Sep 9, 2020 18:22
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Agrikk posted:I’ve been running a roll20 campaign for a few weeks now and I’ve been trying to put my finger on why it feels off somehow. Sure, it’s remote and sure voip is flaky at time but this statement really captures it. Have you tried using discord? It feels like the audio wonkiness is minimal and my group and I have a great time talking over each other and laughing at some idiotic thing we’ve just pulled.
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Sep 21, 2020 01:56
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Depending on how much effort your GM wants to put in, also consider Tabletop Simulator. It’s been great for my Rogue Trader group.
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Sep 21, 2020 05:20
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The killer should start seeing the victim’s reflection instead of their own from time to time, but only when the rest of the party isn’t around. This should happen infrequently at first, and the reflection should start by showing Not-cissus in his final, ruined state. But bit by bit over time, his visage changes, gradually healing; it begins to stare accusingly at the killer, or mockingly when appropriate. And one day, when his face is fully restored, it becomes asynchronous. Smiling from ear to ear, it reaches out of the mirror...
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Sep 25, 2020 10:51
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Tunicate posted:yeah bad things happen if you put a bag of holding inside your portable hole 
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Oct 19, 2020 21:07
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It’s only save-or-die if the Handy Haversacks touch.
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Oct 20, 2020 00:12
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Yawgmoth posted:nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure Reminds me of a solution I read years ago.
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Nov 7, 2020 01:06
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Have you tried Summon OSHA Auditor?
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Jan 2, 2021 06:06
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CobiWann posted:According to my DM, my Artificer cannot invent an ice cream flavor named "Cherry Gygax." That’s because the Planar Artificer’s Association signed a non-compete with the wizards, so they can’t infringe on Cone of Coldstone Creameries.
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Jan 19, 2021 12:33
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If you can get your party to agree to play 4 martial-focused Wereturtles, you could make April O'Heal.
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Mar 6, 2021 03:29
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Look, there’s a lot of ways to use Magic Mouth. Legitimate journalist reasons, even!
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Mar 6, 2021 04:45
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“We are experiencing higher than normal spell volume. Please hold. Your death is very important to us.”
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Mar 28, 2021 20:57
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