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Capricorn Marcus Aurelius said to always respect the human faculty that produces opinions, proving once and for all that he never met you.
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Mar 22, 2012 03:15
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Editorial: I'm Going To Make A Great Mom Someday by Casey Anthony
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Feb 1, 2013 19:29
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U.K. Cardinal Resigns In Wake Of—Get This—Sex Abuse Allegations Who would've guessed?
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Feb 26, 2013 11:09
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Wubbles posted:Fun times are over. It could've been worse. I was expecting the last line to be about him eventually commiting suicide.
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Mar 5, 2013 00:32
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Mescal posted:Am I mistaken or is this German sentence structure (with two exceptions)?  ultrafilter posted:Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy Forces Thousands Of Wet, Wild Party Girls Into Tough Job Market In the ticker: "Biden Reportedly Saved Gov't $4,341.62 Over Weekend By Skipping Out On Hotel Bill" e: Oh god, it gets better: "Romney Admits He No Longer Sees Difference Between Large Rats And Middle Class" Hello Sailor has a new favorite as of 23:02 on Mar 5, 2013 |
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Mar 5, 2013 22:56
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:REWIND! 10 Sharp Knives That Scarred You For Life Another list where they failed to include 70s TV icon Alan Alda. I'm so disappointed.
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May 23, 2013 04:29
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Group Of Friends Engage In Passionate, Incoherent Discussion About Current Events This is every discussion ever had at the bar of a fraternal lodge where I bartended for about 4 years.
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Aug 15, 2013 19:06
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Lego Introduces First Female Scientist Figure “I’ve got a town full of Lego men who are going to be real happy about that.” Casper Faires – Botanist
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Sep 7, 2013 10:47
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Captain Mog posted:It would really have tickled my fancy if The Onion specially enabled comments for just this one article. Post it to your facebook.
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Dec 1, 2013 23:05
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CannonFodder posted:Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine "Why does my girlfriend have a rock in the shower?" http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130717100133AA5UEPs Appears to have been written the day after the Onion article.
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Dec 2, 2013 06:21
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Admiral Bosch posted:Hey, I keep my keys on a carabiner. Clearly you apprehend time criminals by jumping off the roof and swinging in through the window.
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Feb 26, 2014 18:28
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Add "watching all of those right before going to bed" to the list of dumb things I've done.  THE BLOOD HAS YOU
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Mar 6, 2014 08:05
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From the "newswire": Boxing Glove, Spring Carefully Loaded Into Time Capsule
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Mar 10, 2014 05:56
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FedEx Confirms More Than 600,000 People Try To Mail Themselves Each Year Clicked on the headline expecting something slightly different.
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Apr 4, 2014 07:08
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The Pros And Cons Of Gun Control Was going to quote my favorite parts here, but realized I'd still wind up posting most of the list.
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Apr 26, 2014 13:22
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Owning A Cat Is A Great Way To Meet Women Who Magically Appear In Your Living Room I'm putting way too much thought into trying to interpret this. Is the author hallucinating the women? Is it just a twist on the practice of using dogs to meet women? Is it lampooning people who see pets as a means to an end?
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May 29, 2014 15:40
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Can Somebody Tell Me What Monsanto Is So I Can Hate It? So I ask everyone — all of you reading this now — give me the gist of what Monsanto is, then help me destroy it.
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Jun 20, 2014 20:40
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Clickhole Video: You Can Write Whatever You Want On A Baby...And Here’s The Proof.
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Jul 21, 2014 22:21
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How Many More Black Teenagers Have To Die Before Racism Just Sort Of Goes Away On Its Own? "How many more stories like Michael Brown’s or Trayvon Martin’s must we hear before racism just kind of fizzles out without me having to do anything about it?" e: Wow, they're all over this thing. Sometimes Unfortunate Things Happen In The Heat Of A 400-Year-Old Legacy Of Racism By Thomas Jackson, Chief Of Police, Ferguson Police Department Hello Sailor has a new favorite as of 14:38 on Aug 15, 2014 |
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Aug 15, 2014 14:32
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The Aftermath Of September 11quote:FLYING JET AIRCRAFT INTO SKYSCRAPERS 
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Sep 11, 2014 22:43
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SkiLander posted:Senator Mix-A-Lot Sponsors Titties-On-Glass Legislation Ask Sir-Mix-A-Lot
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Sep 12, 2014 08:43
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MariusLecter posted:People who care about gamergate. Er, so you'd be totally cool with a female relative or friend being constantly harassed by these mooks? Calling her work repeatedly with bullshit stories to try and get her fired, threatening to rape or kill her, spreading rumors about how her accomplishments are really just trickery achieved via sexual favors, etc. Or would it be her own fault for doing something they didn't like, such as making a well-received video game or publicly stating an opinion? Perhaps it's also her own fault for accidentally leaving some trace of her "real" life available online, such as her name, likeness, workplace, or living witnesses who might post such information to the internet? Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. The correct answers will always be "no" for any society where it's not okay to hold down and/or beat a minority for "not knowing their place". Related: Do You Prefer Having A Male Boss?
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Oct 23, 2014 13:02
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Damnit, Onion. This is going to be me within a couple of years.
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Feb 10, 2015 23:54
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Cleretic posted:The Film Standard's Oscar special was pretty great, too. Finally, a film critic willing to stand up and say that this year's Oscar contenders have really reached a new low.
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Feb 21, 2015 06:52
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Animals Snuggling Compilation
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Mar 2, 2015 19:31
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Volume posted:God drat it, who's the mole? There's a result where it's revealed there is no mole and it was just a way to get you to a surprise birthday party.
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May 4, 2015 17:44
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Nouvelle Vague posted:Also, what Onion article is the closest to your real life? This is mine. Just a picture, but this one: One Intern Way Older
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Jul 1, 2015 21:04
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McDonald’s Vs. ‘Healthy’ Restaurants: We Threw Both At This Man
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Jul 17, 2015 02:21
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Get Innocuous! posted:Do You Know Why I’m Pulling You Over, Being Wildly Aggressive, And Charging You With Assault Today, Sir? They're going for the throat today. Ticketed Motorist Pointing Finger Just The Green Light Cop Needed e: Okay, yesterday.
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Jul 24, 2015 21:09
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Black Man Bids Tearful Goodbye To Family Before Daily Commute
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Jul 30, 2015 22:59
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Can You Keep An Eye On The Pope For Just 5 Minutes? "But, hey, at least you had the grand European adventure you’d always wanted. And you got to do something that some people go their whole lives without experiencing: chasing the Pope to Heaven and rescuing him from a belligerent angel orgy."
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Sep 5, 2015 00:37
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zimbomonkey posted:These are getting too obvious because they're actual clickbait article titles. I find they work best for sharing with people who aren't familiar with the joke. I just shared the pit bull one with a friend who owns a pit and it went over well.
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Sep 29, 2015 06:41
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Don't kinkshame. Some people may want to think about Lovitz's sex life and that's healthy and okay.
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Mar 29, 2016 06:03
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Sad Kevin has turned his pen to Clickhole quizzes: http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-match-elementary-school-teacher-thing-will-4339
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May 17, 2016 14:05
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Bashar Al-Assad?
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Oct 13, 2016 03:38
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Nice article on Stan Kelly in the New Yorker: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/sarah-larson/brilliantly-terrible-the-political-cartoons-of-the-onions-stan-kelly
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Oct 25, 2016 05:19
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Black Father Gives Son The Talk About Holding Literally Any Object Report: This Not A Gun "In related news, the experts have released a guide to help law enforcement officials discern the difference between a gun and an African American man’s empty, upraised hand."
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Apr 6, 2018 01:06
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Maybe she's just shaking it off.
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Aug 9, 2018 03:48
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| # ¿ May 8, 2024 00:03 |
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tribbledirigible posted:Eagerly looking forward to seeing this posted unironically on FB as a "Real Lib Manifesto". Reads more like an-cap libertarianism to me.
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May 3, 2019 18:15
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