Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
One of the main things I was wondering was where you'd put the end date of the Roman Empire. I'm so very very happy you place it in 1453. I strongly encourage you to never ever ever use the phrase "Byzantine"

My two questions, for now:
1. Can you tell me more about the "War of the Flames" fought during Republican times for control of NW Iberia?

2. What do you feel about Caracalla's extension of citizenship?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Farecoal posted:

but you can't have a Roman empire without Rome :mad:)
gently caress you.

The Roman state was always the Roman state. SPQR till 1453. gently caress off with that crap.

Teriyaki Hairpiece fucked around with this message at 08:00 on May 25, 2012

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Speaking about the continuation of Rome, here's an interesting little-known fact. Several countries currently use a currency that is a direct descendant of the Roman denarius: the dinar.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
GF, you can disregard my question. I'm not sure what I was asking about. I think it was the Cantabrian Wars. I honestly don't know where I got such a dramatic name for it.

Teriyaki Hairpiece fucked around with this message at 08:20 on Jun 4, 2012

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
My best quickly written summary of the hierarchy of the early Christian church.

The early church had five people in charge, patriarchs of the principal Roman cities. These were the patriarchs of Rome, Constantinople, Antioch, Jerusalem, and Alexandria. This is a good marker of how Eastern in character Christianity was at its beginning and how important the East had become to Rome in general. Only one of those cities is in "Europe" west of the Bosporus.

With Constantine came a tradition that the Emperor was in charge of the Church as a whole, so-called "Caesaropapism". With the conquest of three of the patriarchates by the muslims came the greater importance of the final two: Rome and Constantinople. When Roman power in Italy waned a little after the 8th century, the Patriarch of Rome got a bit uppity and started carving out his own personal fiefdom in the consciences of western European christians and their rulers. This was the office that came to be the Papacy. It's important to know that the Pope shouldn't be more important than the other four patriarchs, but various holders of the office of Patriarch of Rome aggrandized themselves through a bunch of absolute bullshit, including the famous Donation of Constantine.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
One thing that seemed missing from the discussion about how Roman legionaries in the Principate were paid is the fact that yes, they did get grants of land but instead of becoming doughty Roman soldier/farmers most of them just sold off their property to go live off the proceeds in Rome or some other city. This helped along the continuing rise of the latifundia and all it's crappy consequences.

Also, it's really true that discussion of the HRE doesn't belong here. I don't mean all my posts to be prickly and one-track, but they are. 753-1453, Roma semi-eterna!

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grand Fromage posted:

The HRE is kind of an interesting case but yes, it's not Rome. I may post about it a bit later just to give my view. The HRE claim isn't nearly as much bullshit as imperial Russia's claim but it's still, at best, shaky.
I may have spoke a bit too hastily. After all, the HRE was ruled by a Roman for 7.5 years between 983 and 991!

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Gregory Mammas had a successor who was Patriarch for 3 years, Athanasius II. He fled to Mount Athos after the fall and died in 1459.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Has anyone ever read the Harry Turtledove/Judith Tarr novel Household Gods? It's about a lady from the mid-late 1990's who gets propelled by plot device into 2nd century Pannonia. Not too bad, if you don't take it too seriously. It's a fun book to contrast to Lest Darkness Fall, wherein a 1930's professor goes to 6th century Rome and everything works out just fine for him.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grand Prize Winner posted:

It's not a subscription unless you're a really lovely poster. :v:

God, this Rome thread is awesome. Is there anyone here knowledgeable enough to do something similar about, say, the Caliphate and subsequent sunni-shia schism or the politics of India? Any kind of specialized history thread ends up golden.

Back on topic: How did Roman armies deal with elephant, camel, or chariot forces? I seem to remember that the Britons used chariots when Caesar invaded and they seemed to present the Romans with quite the challenge.
I've always wondered if there was any demand for a thread about Eastern/SE European ethnic conflicts, because I know just about everything about those. That topic is kind of a bummer.

On-topic, what is the current or most recent opinion of the historical community about the emperor Gallienus?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Don't forget Septimius Severus! Also Claudius Gothicus and Carus depending on what you believe. You know, the Carus who was maybe killed by lightning. Claudius Gothicus is the only important one after Septimius Severus who wasn't murdered, and he did die pretty young of plague so it's not like his death was an old man in his sleep sort of thing.

The Crisis of the Third Century has a lot of amazing stories and personalities.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
If you take the historical sensibilities of Washington Irving and merge them with the sensationalism of British tabloids, you get Suetonius. This is why so many books, TV shows, etc. use the guy as their primary or sole reference with no mention of the dubious nature of a lot of the poo poo the guy wrote down. He's the source of many myths, just like Washington Irving was. Suetonius is fun but he's just not someone whose accounts you should ever take as gospel truth.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grand Fromage posted:

Which is a completely accurate assessment of him. Born into the imperial family and became emperor at 17. Imagine you were pampered your whole life and then given literally endless power at 17.
This is the central argument of one of the verses of Momus' whimisical song about Elagabalus, called "Heliogabalus", which is a sort of funny faux-defense of some of the more ridiculous legends about the guy. Song is off of Momus' 2001 album Folktronic.

code:
If you'd been emperor of Rome
At the age of just 15
Wouldn't you have done the same? So why then does his name
Retain the mantle of the evil
Always claimed by joyless vultures
To explain the strange allure of other cultures?
Heliogabalus wasn't to blame

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
The Romans never got isolationist, they just lost large amounts of territory in calamities, tried to get it back, then got hit with another calamity over and over and over again. Manuel I was still making serious attempts to regain Italy and Egypt in the mid-late 12th century, just a few decades before the nuclear bomb that was the Fourth Crusade got dropped on Constantinople.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
One of the bad things that springs from the old emphasis on Western Roman history as a story of elites and emperors is an emphasis on the incursions of barbarians as the primary engine of collapse as opposed to the decline of civil society in the larger cities and the growth of latifundiae in the countryside. Is there a good book or essay or anything about the direct transition between the latifundia and the manorial estate?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
In perhaps Gaul, Spain, or Northern Italy, where there was more continuity than the outlying areas.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grand Fromage posted:

Let's say you're governor of Cyrenaica during the good times of the 100s AD. The central government has decided Cyrenaica is rich and you, as governor, owe 1000 pounds of gold as your taxes this year. This must be collected.

There's no Roman bureaucracy for this, no Roman IRS. What you do is hire private contractors. A number of them will make bids on how much money they can bring you. Contractor A says he'll collect 2000 pounds, take 500 for himself and give the rest to you. B says he'll collect 1600, take 400 and give you the rest. C will collect 1400, keep 300 and give the rest.

You will first notice that all of those are well above the 1000 required. Everybody's got to get their beak wet, right? Why would you have taken governorship of a rich province if not to get rich yourself? You decide to go with B. You'd make the most with A, but 2000 pounds is a lot of tax and you might end up with your head on a pike. C is a bit low, but B seems like the right quantity of graft without being so high you'll cause a revolt.

You hire the contractor, and he and his people go out in the province and collect money by whatever means necessary. When they're done, they deliver it to you. The contractor gets 400 pounds as payment, you keep 200 for yourself, and the other 1000 gets sent to Rome. Taxes done.

Obviously this system in no way lent itself to abuse and did not ever make people angry.
This is one of the best posts in this thread. A lot of 21st century Americans look at the exact amounts withheld from their paychecks and read their tax tables to find out to the dollar what they owe. They then project this onto the Roman idea of "taxes". That poo poo was just complete calculated tribute from the various provinces. The Imperial government took what they needed, then what they wanted, then a little more just because. It wasn't based on a system, it was based on the Roman army and large landholders.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
There were standardized sizes of pottery and gigantic pottery factories that probably incorporated some elements of what we consider assembly line production.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Cervixalot posted:

Caracalla was another. Like Caligula, referred to an article of clothing (in this case, a hooded cloak) that he wore often. IIRC in The History of Rome its mentioned as never being used in his presence due to his distaste for it.

Edit: Or I could be wrong and it might be a posthumous nickname. Either way, Emperor named after clothes!
It might have been said in this thread before, but it makes history fun if you refer to Caracalla as "Cloaky".

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Here's a fun trivia question I was reminded of by the poster who was asking about Scandinavia. Who can guess what traveled along the route in red?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
It's amber.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Road

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
So in historiography, Theodosius is the emperor of Rome. After his death, the empire is divided up into Eastern and Western halves with an Eastern emperor and Western emperor. This had happened before, but the Empire had always been united again under a sole emperor who was just called the emperor of Rome. So why was the next sole Roman emperor called the only the emperor of the East? Very frustrating.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

sbaldrick posted:

After the defeat of the Magyars there was really no major migration event into Europe that was considered to be a straight up migration. After that it was straight up invasions, it's an odd change.
How bout the Cumans in the 13th century? They were probably the last. Or we could talk about the Roma.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Is there any good fiction set during the Peloponnesian War?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
On Wednesday I was having a conversation with my father, who was a classics major and worked on excavations in Athens in the early 80's, in the Greek area of the University of Pennsylvania museum. His idea was a travelling exhibit of ancient Greek and Roman coinage that reflects the politics of the time in which it was minted, i.e coinage as propaganda. Do you all think there's enough examples out there to make a compelling show? Would you attend such an exhibit?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

SlothfulCobra posted:

I was just wonering how much documentation there was on how the Egyptians worshiped cats, because people say that a lot, but for all I know it could've been like the old archeological joke where if somebody sees a bunch of stuff that they can't quickly explain, they just assume it's religious imagery.
It's a good joke.



sullat posted:

The allegation that empresses (and queens and other powerful women) liked to do night-work on the side is a very popular and common accusation. Somehow I doubt many of them have anything approaching "truth" to them, however.

Not just powerful ladies, don't forget Elagabalus.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Roman religion is a lot like American cuisine: some things are changed, some things are rearranged, some names are attached to things that have no connection to their original meanings.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Paulywallywalrus posted:

GF, could you please tell me about the level of superstition in Rome? I am predisposed to consider Romans to be rather rational but to what degree did Elites believe the myths of Rome? I.e. Brutus family being part of the overthrow of the Roman kings, other patricians seeking to link themselves to the founding of the Republic and 200 senators from Latin and Sabine states. Also, a pet questions, vestal virgins, "7" kings of Rome, and Romulus' mother...the town wolf that everyone knows how to "treat" right? (haha)
How many people in the US believe that Europeans thought the world was flat till 1492? George Washington and his cherry tree?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
If you had modern knowledge you could do all sorts of things in old Rome. Why, you could distill liquor, produce a regular newspaper, and even build a mechanical telegraph.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Jazerus posted:

That's pretty unrealistic, don't you think? It's not as though you'd be able to get a loan easily from a Syrian banker or anything like that.
I feel that book couldn't be written today because the average man of the 2010's really does not have the basic skills the main character of that book has.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Ras Het posted:

Or, to put it in less inane terms, a monotheist faction within Israeli court took control of its religious policies during the Babylonian captivity.
Isn't "Israeli" a term for people who live in the modern state of Israel and "Israelite" the name for the ancient people? I'm sorry if I'm wrong or don't know the current terminology. Not even passive-aggressively sorry, real sorry! I don't like anyone drawing parallels between the Biblical state of Israel and it's current monstrous semi-descendant, even casual parallels. If that's the current wording though, that's the wording.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Biblical Israel was also monstrous. They can both be bad. I guess the main difference is that humans have come up with the concept of "crimes against humanity" in the interim.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I was mainly upset at using the same term for the current inhabitants of that area and the people who lived there 3000 years ago. I feel that they should be differentiated.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Even beyond languages, just think about how many alphabets the Romans encountered.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Where do Cretan hieroglyphs fit into the overall origin of writing thing?

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Justinian II was pretty fond of moving large groups of people around before his nose got cut off and he went nuts.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
The emperor Carus was assassinated by lightning.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

brozozo posted:

I know you might be retreading the same ground for you, but I immensely enjoyed Norwich's three volume Byzantium.
The Short History is just what's in the three volumes edited down to one book. It's a really really good introduction.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Alexander the Great chat is a great excuse to liven things up by posting "The Legend of Alexander the Great" by Jack Handey, famous for his Deep Thoughts. I hope I haven't already posted it in this thread, it's pretty much awesome and amazing.

quote:

Alexander the Great hung his head. He had conquered everything, and there was nothing left to conquer. “What about this area over here?” he said, pointing to an unshaded part of the map.

“You conquered that last week,” his top general said. “We haven’t had time to color it in yet.”

When Alexander started out, the world was fresh and new, begging to be conquered. At the age of ten, he conquered all of Greece, clad only in his underpants. He went on to vanquish the vast empire of Persia while totally nude and drunk. He woke up from sleepwalking one morning to discover that he had conquered Egypt. Once, he laid siege to a fortress all by himself, sneaking from bush to bush and popping up behind each one, pretending to be a different soldier.

There had been difficulties, to be sure. At a raucous victory dinner, a chicken bone became stuck in his throat. As he reached for a glass of water, he touched off a mousetrap, then another, and another. He began to flail about, and his foot got stuck in a bucket. Even like this, he conquered India.

On and on he went, conquering kingdom after kingdom. His generals would plead with him to stop, but he’d say, “Come on, just one more,” and they’d say, “Well, O.K.”

His empire became so large that, even today, if you meet a woman in a bar and invite her up to your apartment to see a map of Alexander’s empire, when she gets there and you show it to her she always says the same thing: “You’ve got to be kidding.”

Alexander smashed every army sent against him, slaughtering thousands. Those who fled the battlefield were hunted down and killed. Women and children were sold into slavery. But the happy times could not last. Eventually, there were no more people left to conquer.

“What about the Assyrians?” Alexander asked his generals.

“We conquered them,” one of them replied.

“O.K., how about the Bactrians?”

“Con-quered,” several generals said, in singsong.

Alexander was getting desperate. “What if we gave countries their freedom, then conquered them again?” The generals looked down at their feet. One coughed.

“Very well, then, I shall conquer the birds of the sky,” he said, but he was reminded that he had already done so, and also that he had been given an eloquent tribute speech by a parrot.

“What about the ants? Can’t we conquer them?” Reluctantly, one general unfurled a tiny document of surrender.

Seeking to console Alexander, the wisest of his counsellors said, “Perhaps, master, what you truly seek is not to conquer but to be conquered.”

Alexander picked up a spear and ran him through.

Rallying his troops, Alexander had them build a primitive rocket ship. He travelled to the moon with thirty hand-chosen men, holding their breath. They utterly surprised the moon men and laid waste to their planet.

In what was perhaps his greatest victory, Alexander conquered half the Kingdom of Heaven. Using sappers to undermine the pearly gates, he and his army poured in, riding captured war elephants, trampling angels and saints. But Heaven, as he realized, “is mostly clouds,” and he wisely withdrew.

Alexander was preparing to journey to another universe, which he hoped to burn down, when he died. At first, his generals didn’t believe it, but then his body was brought out, still clutching his sword and wearing his newly fashioned “space suit.”

They say that he was buried in the Caucasus, among the crocuses, but no one knows for sure. Legend has it that he will return again one day, perhaps in the not too distant future, when the world is once more in need of a good conquering.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2012/03/12/120312sh_shouts_handey?printable=true

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Hogge Wild posted:

Athenians seem to have transported troops and horses in trieres that had only the upper-level rowers, but to me it seems like a waste to use warships that have small cargo capacity for transportation when you have fat-bellied merchant ships. Some fleets were also lost when the ships were beached so the crews could forage and enemy attacked. I think it would have been smarter to carry supplies with the navy. Were navies supplied only by modified rowed warships, or did someone use sailing merchant ships also?
Pretty sure the use of modified warships was for speed.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply