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Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
It's a miracle that the empire lasted as long as it did all things considered. It's not easy having a century of complete nut cases having absolute power.

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Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Octy posted:

I know. It's a great way to make money if you can live with yourself.

His death was pure karmic justice.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Could the Romans have weathered the disaster at Manzikert if things had gone a bit differently right after the battle?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Alhazred posted:


Basically a poo poo ton of modern politics comes from ancient Rome.
I also read that that the whole EU project it's a legacy from the ancient Rome when most of Europe was united.

It's funny how Mussolini considered himself the successor to the Roman Empire when anyone actually from ancient Rome would have considered him an inept moron.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I love Greek Fire so much. It was largely responsible for why the Romans were able to weather the storm of the Arab sieges of Constantinople during the 7th-8th centuries.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Would anyone be so kind as to write a bunch of stuff about how the Eastern Romans basically got screwed by modern Western history? I know I'm hardly alone here when I say that I think the Medieval Romans fail to get even a fraction of the credit they deserve. But why is that?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:

How did Rome fair having 4 Emperors in the later empire?

The phrase 'Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic' comes to mind.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Basically Rome owned.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Mister Gopher posted:

But that changed by the time the Eastern Roman Empire began to take off. Factions formed around chariot teams and the colors they represented, and had opinions about religion, citizenship, etc that always opposed. The blue-green divide caused the Nikea riots.

Holy poo poo, that makes Soccer hooliganism look like childs play.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
The 4th Crusade has got to be one of the most shameful events in all of history. Putting aside the civilian losses during the sacking, which were considerable, the amount of priceless artifacts and long-forgotten knowledge that was maliciously destroyed in the orgy of violence can never be properly estimated. The fact that this tragedy was completely senseless and easily avoidable just makes everything that much worse.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

FizFashizzle posted:

As bad as it was, it was nothing compared to the Mongol sack of baghdad. The rivers ran black with ink from all the books that were destroyed, and they even destroyed all their irrigation systems.

I can't remember thr exact details but even the Mongol high comman was like "dude poo poo what the gently caress?"

That was just an awful period of history in general. Within a span of just over 50 years the two greatest cities in the world, both crown jewels of two of the most important civilizations in history, were utterly destroyed.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Are there any websites that really showcase the different types of legionnaire equipment over the history of Rome? What I mean by that is I would love to see side by side pictures of "Legionnaire in 100 BC" "Legionnaire in 50BC" etc. Like something you might find in an Osprey book. Is there anything like that?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I really think it's time for another general history thread in GBS. Someone would have to run the idea by the mods first though.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Who were some of the more socially progressive statesmen/philosophers/other big names in ancient Rome? How did they feel about things like slavery, gender, and religion?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I love the classical world as much as anybody but you are looking through some seriously rose tinted glasses if you think society was better off back then.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
There's something that I've always been confused about regarding the Post-Marian Legions. During the late Republican period, especially during the Civil Wars, what did it mean to "raise a legion" for ones use? Meaning how did a general go about doing it? I can see how it worked in Pre-Marian days as you would basically recruit en-masse from the able-bodied population for the duration of a war and then let them return home once it was done. But after Marius this obviously all changed so I can't quite wrap my head around how in such a short span of years so many new legions were raised by all sides. Caesar personally raised a half dozen legions for his campaign in Gaul, Crassus raised a bunch for Parthia. And once Civil War broke out Augustus/Antony/Brutus were raising dozens of legions from all over the place. Did they hold huge recruiting drives from their own controlled territory each time they needed more troops? Was there always a huge pool of unused veterans just hanging around ready to rejoin whoever had the coin to hire them? Did the generals simply let standards slip in terms of training and deveotion just to get more men on their side? Since this was a 25 year commitment I can only imagine so many people being available to just join up at a moments notice.

Does my confusion on this make sense? Where the hell did all these legions come from?!

Thankfully once the Empire is solidified and the army is capped at 30 standing legions things make far more sense in terms of a standing professional army.

Shimrra Jamaane fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Sep 18, 2013

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Jazerus posted:

They just stamped their feet and the legions sprung out of the ground all over Italy.

That's as plausible an explanation as I can imagine.

Arglebargle III posted:

Sure they did? The Rwandan Genocide was mostly accomplished by machete.

To be fair it was pretty highly coordinated by radio.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I found this over in the Funny Pictures thread and thought it too good not to share.

Shimrra Jamaane fucked around with this message at 06:36 on Oct 7, 2013

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
So are the works of Adrian Goldsworthy worth reading? If not who does this thread recommend for good books on ancient Rome?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
It's taken me years but I've finally started watching I Claudius. I'm 2 episode in and I'm really enjoying it but the underlying theme that Livia is the ultimate puppeteer who is manipulating literally everyone and everything is kind of taking me out of it. I know its based off of classical histories that paint her as the evil stepmother but I know how historically wrong it is.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I'm reading the whole thread from the beginning since I'm behind like 10k posts and this one from 3 years ago sure rings true today...

Bitter Mushroom posted:

Crassus really strikes me as the Donald Trump of his day.

This has been such a great thread, I've read the whole thing, and my questions on the first page were answered :cheers:

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Making my way through the thread from the very beginning and

Cyrano4747 posted:

I can't believe I'm actually trying to logically think this through in my head but here we go. . .

1) A nipple is extremely sensitive to pressure - seriously tweak your own nipple right now. You don't even need to hit it especially hard or be lactating or aroused or anything to get a flash of pain/pleasure there that you won't see applying a similar squeeze to your ear, nose, elbow, or even genitals.

2) A turgid penis is a lot stiffer and more resisting than your average nipple. You can actually squeeze one pretty loving hard without it getting painful. Even the head can take a lot more in the way of being smashed or squeezed than a nipple. These things are designed to be the penetrating prow of a mighty trireme, after all.

3) Babies don't have teeth. That's where most of the bad parts of biting during a blowjob happen. As long as skin isn't broken and they aren't dragged down the length like a loving rasp there's actually a time and place for nibbling in a good blowjob. "Nibbling" a nipple? Man, you better either be mostly just applying pressure with your lips or have some fine loving motor control over your jaw.

4) Finally: Purple nurples hurt like a motherfucker. Something similiar-ish doesn't have anything like the same affect when applied to a hard dick.

In short, as the owner/operator of both a dick and a set of (admittedly male) nipples I'm not entirely sure that Suetonius is writing about impossibilities here.

And now, having spent my morning coffee contemplating the logistics of blowjobs from infants, I'm going to go do anything else for the rest of the day and try to forget I ever sat down to think this through.

well this was something

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
So, the Mongols. Would they have been able to conquer Europe all the way to the Atlantic if they had tried?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Someone please recommend me a couple books on the history of the Islamic Caliphates.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Also his whole persona was all mysterious and Sphinx like.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
To what extent did the Parthians, and then the Sassanids, see themselves as the heirs to the Achaemenid Empire?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I know the Parthians weren't ethnically Persian but were they culturally?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Did the Sassanids have any Hellenistic cultural traits or had that mostly worn off by that point?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
How is it that we know so little about about the Parthians and the Sassanids? Were most of the records destroyed/lost during the Arab conquests?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Does the Roman world gradually shifting to Greek count?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
This question might sound ridiculously ignorant so I apologize in advance. I know I am coming from an extremely Euro-centric point of view.

How does Chinese historiography of their ancient/medieval history compare to that for Europe and the Middle East? Because from my very limited understanding it seems to be well behind that of the west. Now I'm sure that there are tons of Chinese sources that have never been translated into English but hasn't the ultra strict rule of the PRC inhibited our ability to study it both inside and outside the country? Our understanding of the ancient Western world has evolved so much that its been basically transformed since the 19th century but has the same thing happened in China?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

fantastic in plastic posted:

I'm not sure I understand your question. Do you mean "how does modern Chinese historiography of ancient/medieval China compare to modern Western historiography of ancient/medieval China?" or "how does modern Chinese historiography of ancient/medieval China compare to modern Western historiography of the ancient West?" or something else entirely?

The latter.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
History of Byzantium has nearly 200 episodes and is only up to 1025.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

ThatBasqueGuy posted:

I imagine it'll start going much faster around 1060 or so

He's not going to reach the Crusades until sometime in 2019. Maybe.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

OctaviusBeaver posted:

I started listening to the History of Byzantium and I have to say I'm disappointed in them so far. They keep bending over and paying tribute to literally anyone who sends a few raiders over the border: the Goths, the Bulgarians, the Huns, the Sasanids. Justinian actually wins a battle against the Persians then manages to screw it up and still gives them thousands of pounds of gold. If you do that you're just telling them you're a giant punching bag full of free money. I want them to grow a spine and go kick some rear end, maybe the upcoming invasion of Italy will give me something.

The ERE had to deal with basically the entire tide of history wanting them destroyed. It’s an absolute miracle that the ERE didn’t fall in the 600s and they deserve a ton of credit for not only surviving by the skin of their teeth but within few hundred years recovering to become the dominate power in the Mediterranean.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
So Sulla, what a huge dickhead.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Did Pompey have a single military victory that wasn't just mopping up the remnants of an already defeated enemy/decrepit state?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Was it Crassus who got out of a charge that he slept with a vestal virgin by saying he was just affiliating with her so that he could buy her house?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Were the ancient Minoans descended from Indo European migration?

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Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Interesting. And am I right that the old theory of the Indo European movement into Europe being a violent military invasion placing the natives into a subservient position to the newly arrived conquerors has been discredited in favor of a more gradual migration and intermingling of peoples?

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