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Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.

Rent-A-Cop posted:

I used to work (as a civ employee) for a one-star who would take a radar gun from the MA's and go write people tickets when he was pissed of about something. He also used to randomly grab whoever happened to be within his line of sight to go do dumb poo poo like sweep gravel or pick up cigarette butts in front of his HQ.

I kinda think this is cool partly because of how Sgt Bilko Big Army it is and partly because at least he's only loving with individuals and not issuing random-rear end memos that gently caress entire brigades at a time

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Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



quote:

Ranges are their own special place of idiocy because people can kill you on them.

My company ran a M9 range for the brigade this Summer and I had to yell at some Major a few times because he nearly pointed his loaded pistol sideways while loading/unloading. Good job almost flagging like 10 other people with a loaded weapon. Also the staggering number of people who couldn't operate them before they got to the range scared me when I was rodding people on. Half the Army probably has personally owned handguns, I guess these must've been the half that doesn't.

On the tripping with grenades thing, I did that when we threw them in BCT since they were making us sprint from the bunkers to the pit. Almost fell over when I snagged my foot on the little wall in the front of the throwing position. Heh.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
I've come to realize that whilst many people may own a handgun, none of them know how to use it. I had a shitload of practice before joining up, and I am horrified at how people treat them. Waving them around like they just don't care, and it's not entirely their fault - the utter lack of any ability and familiarity of anyone involved with M9 training is depressing. But everyone is - of course - a subject matter expert. Just ask them, bro.

And even worse, is how horrid people are in regards to actually being accurate. If you aren't doing 30/30 all day everyday, there is something wrong. I am, however, willing to grant that there are a lot of M9s that are el originale, even with the original locking blocks that were supposed to be replace due to that one or two slides coming off (not surprisingly, not Beretta's fault), and have the barrels completely shot out. There's no reason that you still shouldn't be able to hit Ivan the majority of times, and qualify expert.

And then you got the maintenance that doesn't get done on any of them...

They should just give all the handguns to SF and tankers, and everyone else should just loving carry 4s and 16s. At least you'll find the odd subject matter expert floating around who can give you some good tips on shooting a rifle.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Actually, scrap that, just give tankers whatever we carry in a sub machine gun. All handguns go to SF, that way I don't have to hear dickheads who should know better bumbling on about .45 blowing dudes off their feet and through mud hut walls in Afghanistan, how you have to shoot a dude 716 times with 9mm just to slow him down, and how the M9 will just blow up in your hands, every time the Army Times posts some bullshit about replacing the M9 with whatever the flavor of the month is.

SF can pick and choose what they want and I won't have to listen to any of it.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Raaaahhh stopping power raaaaaaaaahh

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
SHUT YOUR MOUTH

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'd be down with having an MP7. It's a pain in the dick getting in and out of a tank even with an M4.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

AB posted:

I'd be down with having an MP7. It's a pain in the dick getting in and out of a tank even with an M4.

How about a P90 or that new Magpul space gun? The PDR.



Shoots 5.56 or whatever full rifle round.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
My old tanker platoon sergeant used to tell us that using an M16 was a once a year thing, if that, just for qualify. Otherwise it was the old 1911 then the M9.

Same unit, first sergeant said that he's only ever used an M16 once, and that was in basic. Never shot it again, nothing but handguns from there on out.

Rifles have no business being in a tank, it's a situation that's ranges from inconvenient and uncomfortable, to downright dangerous.


edit: ^^^ woah, some dickhead is totally gonna shoot their finger off with that thing. Hilarious.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

not caring here posted:

edit: ^^^ woah, some dickhead is totally gonna shoot their finger off with that thing. Hilarious.

You'd think so, but plenty of agencies and even some furrin militaries use the P90 and there's isn't much more of a handguard on that thing, and I haven't heard any stories about people shooting their fingers off. But yeah, at least one dude will.

GreenMeat
Sep 2, 2002
slow mutant
hell, back when I was driving M113s and gamma goats, they gave me an M3, which was fine. drat thing sure did get hot though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5q29wnzks

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

GreenMeat posted:

hell, back when I was driving M113s and gamma goats, they gave me an M3, which was fine. drat thing sure did get hot though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL5q29wnzks

HAHAHAHAHAHHA, that owns bones.

A buddy of mine just pointed out that the Beretta MX4 would be a good option for tankers to replace both the M4 and M9. It's a 9mm carbine, compact, semi auto or full auto, and probably the biggest selling point, is that it accepts standard M9 mags as well as all kinds of crazy high capacity stuff.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd

Mr. Nice! posted:

Raaaahhh stopping power raaaaaaaaahh

The fawtuh-five was good enough for grand-pappy, by golly it oughta be good enough for me :smug:.

And the Mx4 is actually not a terrible idea...I didn't realize Beretta was making those. Although the one thing my uneducated rear end sees as a possible problem is the design doesn't really lend itself to a collapsible stock or any other quick/easy way to adjust length of pull (yeah, there's the spacers on the butt but that's something that requires a screwdriver and can't just be done on the fly, and it also doesn't really change all that much). No idea if/how much of a problem that would be, though.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


not caring here posted:

I've come to realize that whilst many people may own a handgun, none of them know how to use it. I had a shitload of practice before joining up, and I am horrified at how people treat them. Waving them around like they just don't care, and it's not entirely their fault - the utter lack of any ability and familiarity of anyone involved with M9 training is depressing. But everyone is - of course - a subject matter expert. Just ask them, bro.
Yep. I'm really pretty shocked by my own lack of empathy for these dickheads. I almost feel glad that these idiots are dead and locked up respectively, instead of still being the Air Force, let alone walking around on the street.

TheUnhorse
Oct 29, 2010

Smartest little intel sperg in the whole world

Rent-A-Cop posted:

I used to work (as a civ employee) for a one-star who would take a radar gun from the MA's and go write people tickets when he was pissed of about something. He also used to randomly grab whoever happened to be within his line of sight to go do dumb poo poo like sweep gravel or pick up cigarette butts in front of his HQ.

If he wasn't actually certified to use it like with real training, can a competent lawyer or person argue that the ticket needs to be thrown out? Or is that not as important in military kangaroo court as it is in The Real World.

DEVILDOGOOORAH
Aug 2, 2010

~Animu fan~

TheUnhorse posted:

If he wasn't actually certified to use it like with real training, can a competent lawyer or person argue that the ticket needs to be thrown out? Or is that not as important in military kangaroo court as it is in The Real World.

Probably just those tickets that just get mailed the the CO/1SG who then make you take a Saturday course times 10 because it was a flag officer and holy poo poo but actually has no repercussions with regard to insurance or fines

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

iyaayas01 posted:

And the Mx4 is actually not a terrible idea...I didn't realize Beretta was making those. Although the one thing my uneducated rear end sees as a possible problem is the design doesn't really lend itself to a collapsible stock or any other quick/easy way to adjust length of pull (yeah, there's the spacers on the butt but that's something that requires a screwdriver and can't just be done on the fly, and it also doesn't really change all that much). No idea if/how much of a problem that would be, though.

They've been out for almost a decade or so, I think. I rented one back in 2006 or so and it was shockingly fun. Almost no recoil (not terribly surprising) it was very comfortable to shoot, and it was accurate as hell. It wouldn't be hard to redesign it for an adjustable stock. The whole thing is molded plastic, retooling wouldn't be as terrible as if it were steel or something.

I like my Beretta 96, gently caress the haters but the 1911 is my favorite

Edit: Actually, I helped a couple of people qualify by taking them shooting a few days before they had to qual. The 96 is identical to the M9 frame-wise.

Oxford Comma
Jun 26, 2011
Oxford Comma: Hey guys I want a cool big dog to show off! I want it to be ~special~ like Thor but more couch potato-like because I got babbies in the house!
Everybody: GET A LAB.
Oxford Comma: OK! (gets a a pit/catahoula mix)

Martello posted:

You'd think so, but plenty of agencies and even some furrin militaries use the P90 and there's isn't much more of a handguard on that thing, and I haven't heard any stories about people shooting their fingers off. But yeah, at least one dude will.

That photo isn't a P90, though. Its some goofy Magpul gun. The P90 is a pretty neat little gun, and if I wasn't living in Cali I'd probably buy the civilian version of it because I'm a retard.

Also, that Beretta CX4 is a fun gun for plinking but it probably wouldn't be something I'd want to take to combat with me. Really, I think an MP5 or something would be the best bet for a tankers gun.

TheUnhorse
Oct 29, 2010

Smartest little intel sperg in the whole world
Haven't most federal agencies been moving away from the P90? I feel like I read somewhere that at least the USSS Uniform Division is phasing them out. Maybe I'm going crazy.

Kemper Boyd
Aug 6, 2007

no kings, no gods, no masters but a comfy chair and no socks
A buddy of mine served as a conscripted MP sergeant in the FDF. Shortly after he got out, an incident involving two MP's happened. One guy took a 9mm to the head, surviving but losing sight in one eye.

What had happened was the the dudes had been out on perimeter patrol at the garrison and decided to play James Bond. Standard practice at the time was that handguns were carried unloaded but MP's on duty got to carry loaded mags. So they loaded their guns while playing and then when returning to gate duty took out the mags.

So, the guy standing in front of the guard booth at some point pulls his gun for whatever reason and gun pointed in random direction, pulls the trigger. Blam. Bullet goes in through the guard booth window and hits the other guy in the forehead.

Snowdens Secret
Dec 29, 2008
Someone got you a obnoxiously racist av.
I've mentioned Nuke sailor range antics before but it seems appropriate here. It isn't uncommon for nukes to only go live fire at the range three or four times in their six-year stint (including boot camp). Seen at the range:

- A guy loaded the shotgun shells backwards

- A guy fired the shotgun from the hip, did not have it well braced, and the gun went flying (still loaded) about ten yards behind him and the rest of the firing line

- Guy fires the shotgun once, holds it vertical to pump like he saw Shwarzenegger do it or something, fires the second round straight up into the ceiling

- Guy firing the M9 would take a shot and then manually rack the slide each time, ejecting a perfectly good round, because he saw it in a movie

- My roommate who had never shot before was so nervous that when they called 'ready' or whatever to load the pistol (and wait to bring it up) he loaded, released the slide, brought it up, flipped safety, put two on target, dropped the mag and was reloading when the RSO tackled him

- On a related note due to vision problems I can't really use an M16 front sight or see the rifle bullseye, but still qualified rifle once because the guy the next lane over was shooting my targets by accident. Even got me the marksman badge!

RichieHimself
May 27, 2004

No way dude, she looks like Gargamel.
One sunny day in Iraq we had to take some dudes somewhere for some bullshit and one of the fire support guys from the TOC tagged along in my stryker. Being the TOC roach that he was he just had to airguard to get the full out of the wire experience.

So we get to where we're going and my styker is in an awkward position at the top of a hill with our rear end end pointing towards a busy road about 300-400m away. I'm standing there in my hatch facing this road with SPC TOC roach in the hatch to my right. After a few minutes I hear some snaps and see dust flying off of a wall to my left and then hear a loud ping as something hits our slat armor. Our awkward position left us wide open to a drive by from the busy street below and the shooter was gone almost as soon as we realized we were being shot at.

This was still fairly early in our deployment but after a few dozen patrols we were used to getting bullets shot at us from loving nowhere so it wasn't really a big deal. Not so for SPC TOC roach. As soon as we got back to the FOB he was telling everyone about how he totally almost died and was even pointing out a little rock chip in the top armor near his hatch as a bullet hole.

I showed him where the bullet actually hit and you could clearly see that it scrapped along a horizontal piece of the slat before hitting a vertical piece and spraying fragments onto the stryker itself. He wasn't believing any of this and took a 5.56 round and showed how it fit his "bullet hole" perfectly. Even after explaining that bullets don't keep their shape and make tiny chips on hard armor and that we probably weren't shot at with 5.56 he still refused to listen to reason. He brought his NCO out (who was even dumber than him) to weigh in and he of course sided with SPC TOC roach because "y'all aint no ballistic experts".

SPC TOC roach was later banned from riding with us after he yelled at our battalion commander for calling in mortars that hit a ridge near us as indirect fire. He was convinced that they were being used in a direct fire capacity and that we had to tell the TOC or we would die or some poo poo.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW

Oxford Comma posted:

That photo isn't a P90, though. Its some goofy Magpul gun. The P90 is a pretty neat little gun, and if I wasn't living in Cali I'd probably buy the civilian version of it because I'm a retard.


Yeah, I know it's the PDR because I posted it saying "this is the Magpul PDR." I was comparing the P90 for length and layout, since it's quite similar. I used to have a PS90 myself, since I'm also a retard. I sold it before moving to Germany, which I wish I didn't do. I have a number of friends who would have happily kept it for me, including friends in NY where the 50-rd magazine is horribly illegal. Live and learn I guess.

quote:

Also, that Beretta CX4 is a fun gun for plinking but it probably wouldn't be something I'd want to take to combat with me. Really, I think an MP5 or something would be the best bet for a tankers gun.

The gun they're talking about is the military version, the Mx4. It's select fire, so it's not all that different from the MP5 in terms of capabilities. I've never fired one (but I have fired the MP5) but I assume the rifle-like layout reduces recoil, and since it feeds through the grip that gives you more barrel length in a similar overall package. I'd still rather have a P90 or something like the PDR, since both are harder-hitting than a 9mm (and yes this is actually a thing) and the P90 has that insane ammo capacity.

Hekk
Oct 12, 2012

'smeper fi

Tankers should carry Rossi Ranch Hands in .357 since everyone knows those rounds punch basketball sized holes in people and travel so fast they actually go back in time.

If that isn't enough for you, imagine how confused the enemy would be if you pop out of a tank and start engaging them with something that looks like a Red Ryder BB gun.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Speaking of dumb gun related stuff, I'm gonna go back to basic again, and I'm gonna forget about all the retards that I was with and all the stupid poo poo that they said (eg. 5.56 is just a military .22, .50 cal will turn you inside out even if you miss by 3 feet, that kind of poo poo), but it came from our CO.

So we're sitting in an auditorium after having received a briefing on... I dunno, TSP or some poo poo? and our CO - who has not seen combat mind you - starts fielding questions about combat. So the retards start asking stupid poo poo about shooting brown people, and he starts dishing out just as stupid aswers. The resident gun "expert" then asks about the lethality of the 5.56mm, or, more specifically, the lack thereof. Our CO comes out with this winner:

"The thing with the 5.56mm, is that, yeah, it's not a .50 cal, but the bullet - because it's so tiny - will do some strange things. You'll shoot a haji in the leg, and it'll follow the bone and end up in his lung. Fuckers will die from the weirdest shots all the time".

Yup, apparently a 5.56mm bullet will defy all the laws of physics, and pull a 90 degree turn, travel up to the knee, pull another turn, head up into the pelvis, take another turn, and decide to just sit in the lung. And the fool that asked the question sat down and nodded like it was some sage fuckin' advice. I knew this would've drawn some kind of response, and the nearest drill sergeant is standing there, absolutely stunned, looking at this guy like he's the biggest loving idiot to walk in front of him.

Thankfully his idiocy didn't last too much longer. He got in trouble at the end of the cycle because he was apparently telling the DFAC staff to reduce our portion sizes and restrict certain items (more than the drill sergeants already had). Then the next cycle turned out to be his last, as he had his drill sergeants perform strip searches on privates for, as far as I can tell, no good reason except for being a bully or some poo poo.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

not caring here posted:

He got in trouble at the end of the cycle because he was apparently telling the DFAC staff to reduce our portion sizes and restrict certain items (more than the drill sergeants already had).

I don't know if it was the CO, 1SG, or the DS, but half rations (already reduced) during and after ranges was pretty loving gay. We were actually pining for MREs over actual food. Lost 40 pounds because stupid fucks kept stealing candy from the MREs (and immediately gained back ~20 after maybe two weeks at AIT). War never changes.

Also my current 1SG is loving lame and never lets us get seconds. I'm not even fat :(

Guard first world problems :fsmug:

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Dec 27, 2012

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
This is less a dumb story and more a range story, considering that's what we're talking about. There's still a lot of dumb involved, but it was a group effort.

Our basic platoon had just switched over to MOS training at Ft. Sill. The gun bunnies were mostly done with their round identification/loading procedures/whatever-the-gently caress-13Bs-do-in-basic, while we were getting fairly balls deep into land nav. On this exciting day, we were to undergo most of our U.S. Weapons qualifications (e.g. "Take this SAW/AT-4/50/240/203, point it at what I tell you, and hit it"). Now, since we were devoting our time almost exclusively to land nav at this point of OSUT, my prep to these weapons was a quick 10-30 minute brief, followed by, "If you think you are going to gently caress up (and Satan's rear end in a top hat help you if you think about loving up), we will fix your issues pron-gently caress-to." Fortunately for the 13B's, their AIT portion of training had shifted into sitting in the drill pads and disassembling/reassembling all serviceable crew-served weapons. When we would march back from classes, we would regale tales of how super-awesome we were for going to the GUARDFIST or whatever while they twiddled with their dicks and wasted time. As such, the 13B's had advantage for the U.S. Weapons qual.

Outstanding. I can see absolutely nothing wrong with this plan of handing heavy caliber weapons to teenagers after less than an hour of talking about it. For the most part, there wasn't too much hassle. 240 was essentially a SAW; AT-4 has a poo poo-ton of safety locks on it, but aiming isn't too difficult (even as a lefty); and the 203 was enjoyable to shoot. Side story: when I was in the firing line for the 203, a dude in my squad didn't know about the leaf sights for the 203. He decided that the standard iron sights for the rifle were much more preferable. He was able to shoot off a round to about 20 meters, look puzzled as to why his shot was so incredulously short of the target, and then eat dirt after a brown hat toppled him.

I shift over to the MK19 range. The wait line was pretty long, even though they were running about 5 of them mounted either on turrets or tripods, so we were told to line up nut to butt and read our smart books. I poured over the MK19, because I didn't want to get dead or get anyone else dead from shooting that fucker. Especially considering or awesome briefings.

Fortunately for me, one of my platoon's drill sergeants was running the lane I was in, so at least he knew my face in case it vaporized before him. I sat down on a tripod mounted MK19 and looked downrange of majestic Ft. Sill's brushland.

"Do you see a target out there to hit?"
"No, Drill Sergeant." (This was true, we were aligned about click from the base of a hill with fuckall between us and the crest of said hill)
"Okay, just wait and shoot at someone else's splashes, we'll just exercise concentrated fire."

I did as told, and about 2 bursts in, my worst fears came to realize. The motherfucker jammed. Thankfully, I had just slammed my brain with what to do, so I did the standard poo poo: moved weapon to safe, opened it up, dicked around with the feeder, tried to see if there were any visible jams, but there were loving none. I brushed off the links, closed the cover, and tried the charing handle. That fucker was stuck. Fuckity-poo poo. Now I needed to get more in depth on this thing and poke around on grenade rounds somewhere in this thing. Yay.

Obviously the drill sergeant was staring at me and the growing lane behind me, so I got a "Whatthefuckisgoingon,private?"
I told him the MK19 was jammed, and I was trying to clear it to the best of my abilities. "Motherfucker, MOVE!"

He sat down, tried the charging handle about five times, each more aggressively and angrily than the last, and began clearing the weapon. After a few minutes of dicking with it, he pulled out a bent clearing rod to force out a round stuck somewhere between the bolt assembly and the barrel. Round pops out, he moves out, I move in. Now, before I fire, he's kneeling next to the MK19, making sure I follow every thing he says. He's positioned with one hand on the end of the barrel and one hand on top of the tray.

"Close the tray."
Done. (He moved that hand onto his knee at this point)
"Rack the charging handle."
Done.
"Move the weapon from safe to fire."
On it, boss. (Mind you, his hand is still on the end of the barrel at this point).
"Watch for your targets, and engage."
Hesitation in those types of situations are warranted. A blubbering, "B-b-but Drill Sergeant, your hand is in a dangerous area, and having me squeeze this trigger exponentially increases the chances your nickname is 'Lefty.'" Repeat ad nauseam.

Not me, man. I was in loving robot mode, the loving listen-obey zone. I knew that the next step after moving your selector to "fire" is start shootin', so I pulled the trigger right after he said "targets." About two rounds came out before his hand was off the barrel and onto me. He was supremely pissed, but he didn't say a word to me because he knew I had done exactly what he told me to. I was the rear end in a top hat for almost upending one of his arms, but he was the one to tell me to do so. So he didn't yell. He just stared at me, hands on my shoulders and chest, veins on his neck and face becoming increasingly large.

"Get off my loving lane."
Done and done, I don't think I've ever unassed as fast as that, up to and including the time I got caught a drill sergeant's boot to the kevlar for sleeping on our 24 hour FTX.

Tbh, our platoon was the absolute loving worst with grenade safety. Almost had one guy lose some fingers to the practice grenades. We also had a different drill sergeant jokingly remove the pin to a grenade before handing it out to my battle buddy, only to be unable to place the pin back in. He was told to hold onto the spoon for dear life until he threw it. Our platoon still got the top grenade guidon streamer, so idk.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Elbows deep, brother.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

old dog child posted:

I don't know if it was the CO, 1SG, or the DS, but half rations (already reduced) during and after ranges was pretty loving gay. We were actually pining for MREs over actual food. Lost 40 pounds because stupid fucks kept stealing candy from the MREs (and immediately gained back ~20 after maybe two weeks at AIT). War never changes.

Also my current 1SG is loving lame and never lets us get seconds. I'm not even fat :(

Guard first world problems :fsmug:



poo poo pissed me off, not because I was hungry - which I wasn't because my stomach had shrunken to the size of a pea - but I went in strong as gently caress with plenty of muscle, and came out a lot weaker, and according to my wife, looking like a leukemia patient.

Another dude came in with me, and he was a competitive power lifter, lost like 65 pounds of muscle. At least his run time went down. But now he's in Hawaii and gets away with lifting weights most of the day, and now is so big he can't fit in the driver's seat of a Stryker.

Took both of us 6 months to get our strength back. Why make even less food available when you are already running a humongous calorie deficit I don't know.

Actually, on Family Day weekend - the 2 days we get off between the Basic and AIT portions of OSUT - I ate. Constantly. Like, a disgusting amount, to the point where I thought I had a colony of tapeworms in my gullet. Something to the tune of about 7000+ calories a day. I got back there, and felt like a million bucks. PT and smokings weren't poo poo after that. Well, for 2 weeks, anyway.

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
Holy poo poo, they cut your rations in basic? I ate like a loving king in basic, and still lost a ton of weight.

Hekk
Oct 12, 2012

'smeper fi

I spend most of my days on ranges and I still get nervous watching guys use the MK-19 round extractor on cheeto puff rounds. I have never had to use it on HEDP but I imagine that'd be an interesting situation. I don't give a poo poo what anyone says about arming distance. The round is supposed to fire when the firing pin hits the primer too.

polpot saved asia
Aug 28, 2011
drat i ate like a horse in basic.


i remember this one kid who tried to kill himself by overdosing on zoloft. he was a special snowflake. there was this other kid who tried to kill himself by cutting his wrist with a putty knife. he was later caught with cartoon pics of naked kids in his camelbak. there was another kid who hung himself in the wall locker. one dude overdosed on meds and woke up in a bush talking politics to a rock.

ahhhh good ol Ft.Gordon :smithicide:

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

So who else put salt in the hand sanitizer to make alcoholic apple cider for fireguard?

E: I think that qualifies as me being an idiot

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Well, it doesn't have methanol so you're good in the "not going blind" department.

DaNerd
Sep 15, 2009

u br?

old dog child posted:

So who else put salt in the hand sanitizer to make alcoholic apple cider for fireguard?

E: I think that qualifies as me being an idiot

This reminds me of the kids who would use Tabasco Sauce as eye drops to stay awake for their 2 hour firewatches in SOI.

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



You drank hand sanitizer? That might be worse than knowing someone used it as lube. :wtc:

Someone I went to AIT with claimed to drink floor stripper to get drunk in basic. It sounds outrageous but this person was a legit major alcoholic so I wouldn't doubt it.

On the subject of food we were allowed to eat candy from MREs however the other 3 platoons in my company had theirs confiscated by their respective DS. They watched us eat it every time we got MREs. :laugh:

Ultimate Shrek Fan
May 2, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

DoktorLoken posted:

You drank hand sanitizer? That might be worse than knowing someone used it as lube. :wtc:

Someone I went to AIT with claimed to drink floor stripper to get drunk in basic. It sounds outrageous but this person was a legit major alcoholic so I wouldn't doubt it.

Putting salt in hand sanitizer separates the alcohol from the gel, from what I've been told. It's also real popular amongst the Inuit up in the Canadian territories.

Oxford Comma
Jun 26, 2011
Oxford Comma: Hey guys I want a cool big dog to show off! I want it to be ~special~ like Thor but more couch potato-like because I got babbies in the house!
Everybody: GET A LAB.
Oxford Comma: OK! (gets a a pit/catahoula mix)

Martello posted:

Yeah, I know it's the PDR because I posted it saying "this is the Magpul PDR." I was comparing the P90 for length and layout, since it's quite similar. I used to have a PS90 myself, since I'm also a retard. I sold it before moving to Germany, which I wish I didn't do. I have a number of friends who would have happily kept it for me, including friends in NY where the 50-rd magazine is horribly illegal. Live and learn I guess.


The gun they're talking about is the military version, the Mx4. It's select fire, so it's not all that different from the MP5 in terms of capabilities. I've never fired one (but I have fired the MP5) but I assume the rifle-like layout reduces recoil, and since it feeds through the grip that gives you more barrel length in a similar overall package. I'd still rather have a P90 or something like the PDR, since both are harder-hitting than a 9mm (and yes this is actually a thing) and the P90 has that insane ammo capacity.

Oh, I didn't know that there even was an MX4. :tipshat:

vacation in kabul
Dec 6, 2009

by Y Kant Ozma Post
I just remembered, we had an E-6 who wound up getting his clearance revoked while we were deployed. Supposedly the story went that he had been thrown into an orderly room in his previous unit for being an unimaginably huge gently caress-up, and at some point his clearance had been revoked because of a ton of outstanding debt. So his old unit, instead of actually handling the problem, did a 1-for-1 swap with our section for a huge fatass E-6 (had 34% bodyfat according to the tape) when our SGM was desperately trying to unload fatty. So what does the guy without the clearance do? Applies for a top secret when he gets up to division! About seven months after they started the TS investigation someone finally realizes he wasn't even eligible for a secret and notifies our S2. This leads to him getting kicked out of the building and our section for a few days while our SGM did some bullshit deal with G2 and got him an interim Secret.

The day it happened our SGM and NCOIC were absolutely flipping their poo poo. They were telling me and my supervisor what a huge shitbag this dude was, how his old unit screwed them, and on and on (everyone already knew all of this). We had to grab him out of his CHU so he could meet our SGM and get a huge asschewing, and as he trots up to meet him and get dressed down the SGM notices he has pin-on E-5 rank on his patrol cap (everything was supposed to be sewed on) that he had drawn a rocker under with a permanent marker. The asschewing was epic and hilarious.

That's not the real point of the story though. That guy got a perfect NCOER following all of this poo poo and was recently promoted to E-7. gently caress you Army.

vacation in kabul fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Dec 28, 2012

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Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

vacation in kabul posted:

I just remembered, we had an E-6 who wound up getting his clearance revoked while we were deployed. Supposedly the story went that he had been thrown into an orderly room in his previous unit for being an unimaginably huge gently caress-up, and at some point his clearance had been revoked because of a ton of outstanding debt. So his old unit, instead of actually handling the problem, did a 1-for-1 swap with our section for a huge fatass E-6 (had 34% bodyfat according to the tape) when our SGM was desperately trying to unload fatty. So what does the guy without the clearance do? Applies for a top secret when he gets up to division! About seven months after they started the TS investigation someone finally realizes he wasn't even eligible for a secret and notifies our S2. This leads to him getting kicked out of the building and our section for a few days while our SGM did some bullshit deal with G2 and got him an interim Secret.

The day it happened our SGM and NCOIC were absolutely flipping their poo poo. They were telling me and my supervisor what a huge shitbag this dude was, how his old unit screwed them, and on and on (everyone already knew all of this). We had to grab him out of his CHU so he could meet our SGM and get a huge asschewing, and as he trots up to meet him and get dressed down the SGM notices he has pin-on E-5 rank (everything was supposed to sewed) that he had drawn a rocker under with a permanent marker. The asschewing was epic and hilarious.

That's not the real point of the story though. That guy got a perfect NCOER following all of this poo poo and was recently promoted to E-7. gently caress you Army.

The tape is inaccurate and all but you have to be :btroll: fat to tape over 20-something. Jesus christ.

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