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Demonlord posted:What kind of super POG rear end MOS did you sign up for that you've never heard of room clearing? ROTC cadet.
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Feb 7, 2013 20:41
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Godholio posted:If you believe that, you've been fleeced. By the gods!
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Mar 7, 2013 21:41
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Lord Gaga posted:I will gladly agree to stop talking about myself if others will as well. Yes I am in college, so are they except Susical who is a grown up. So I figure you saw that this a thread about idiots and figured you'd be right at home posting here. But you do know you're in GiP, right?
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May 2, 2013 19:32
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E.Nigma posted:He saw goons and didn't read any further. "Goons in Pantaloons? Sounds interesting."
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May 2, 2013 20:27
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Did you catch any poo poo back on the boat for being (or nearly being) a premature ejaculator? Or did you keep it to yourself?
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May 29, 2013 19:05
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Rough Lobster posted:The only thing worse than having to mousewheel past a 50 ft Ant post is having to mousewheel past said post and the stupid loving posts that always come next. Have you tried using the Page Down button instead? Or perhaps castration?
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Oct 10, 2013 00:59
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Reminds me of an OER they had pinned up on the wall at Armor school. It was a DO NOT PROMOTE for a 2LT who lost his weapon three times...in theater. Dude in my company lost his M4 in Iraq. He'd leaned it against the tire of his MRAP and forgot it was there. And then drove over it.
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Jun 10, 2014 21:31
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GreenMeat posted:Had exactly the same thing happen. Was it a CBRNE dude on Taji? Not sure where it happened, it was a different platoon. I want to say it was down in Scania.
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Jun 11, 2014 01:57
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I was going through my stuff and found some notes and things from my 2009-2010 Iraq deployment. My unit was doing convoy security in MRAPs and an 1151 with a CROWS up top for shits and giggles (which we replaced with an MRAP about halfway through). Our convoy commander and platoon sergeant was a good guy but wasn't exactly blessed with a lot of operational competence. On one of our first missions, our lead scout vehicle had a fuel tanker that wouldn't respond to our usual EOF procedures (blink the Hellfire spotlight mounted on the .50 cals, then throw a chemlight, then shoot a pen flare at them). So he, rather frantically, stammers over the radio "SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT..... UHHH PEN FLARE!" I don't know how the gunner in that vehicle had presence of mind NOT to press down on the trigger, but he didn't. Still, might have been interesting to see what .50 caliber API rounds do to a tanker truck. This same platoon sergeant once asked me, the CROWS gunner, to set up a training course for the platoon with metal objects as IED stand-ins littered around an area and disguised so that everyone could get a chance to see what an IED under a cardboard box might look like. I told him that anything hot enough to show up on an IR camera underneath a box would probably set the box on fire. It took me weeks to explain to him that IR technology was not a magic box that could see through solid objects and show him bombs. One evening we're rolling from one place to another when our lead scout element, whose vehicle was equipped with mine rollers, calls for a halt. I was an eyewitness to none of this, as I was about a mile back in our #4 vehicle. Heard it all over the radio, and I'm sure what was happening in my head was more amusing than reality. Lead Scout: 3 (our commander's vehicle), we've just come to a halt. We've come up on something that looks... almost exactly like an anti-tank mine. 3: Roger. LS: Yeah, we've got pretty good eyes on it. It looks just like an anti-tank mine and it's right next to one of our rollers, so we have a good look at it. 3: Roger, don't run it over. LS: *pause* (You could practically hear the lead scout roll his eyes over the radio in response to this piece of good advice.) Roger. We have an IA here with us, he's asking if we can shoot it. As explained to me later, the Iraqi soldier had no English and our gunner had no Arabic. Their conversation took place between the scout vehicle gunner and the Iraqi soldier in pantomime. LS: Now he's asking us if he can shoot it. The gunner, who was also my roommate, really wanted to tell him yes. The vehicle commander didn't want to damage the rollers, though, if they could help it. Instead he told my buddy to try to get the guy to walk up to it and get as close a look at it as the guy was comfortable doing. LS: He's kicking it. Clearly there was some manner of miscommunication. Frantically, my buddy signs at the Iraqi to stop and to move away. The Iraqi also misinterprets this. LS: Uhh... he's just picked it up and threw it into the desert. We're clear. A few weeks later, we hear a story about how some Iraqi officer blew himself up while taking a Gerber to an IED, presumably while trying to place and arm the thing (or he could have been playing EOD, but I think it was more likely he was only moonlighting as Iraqi Army). The resulting explosion inspired his men to go full death blossom in the middle MSR Tampa and then go raid and loot a nearby village. IA was amusing when they weren't actively collaborating with people setting up loving EFPs to blow the hell out of us on Superbowl Sunday. McNally fucked around with this message at 08:14 on Dec 31, 2014 |
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Dec 31, 2014 08:11
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Commoners posted:I feel that I am fully qualified to kick IEDs. Not just anybody can kick IEDs. You have to go through the same rigorous training given to the brave men of the Iraqi Army. IEDs explode, but only for Americans. Kick away. Alrighty, class dismissed.
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Dec 31, 2014 22:42
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Victor Vermis posted:It must've been deemed too conspicuous to be an IED because they all started kicking it and stomping on it until there was just shreds of cloth and white dust in the road. Thanksgiving, 2009. My convoy was halted because of an IED in the middle of the road. It was a 155mm artillery shell with small piece of cardboard on top of it, like a large package from Amazon under your doormat. I have pictures somewhere.
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Jan 1, 2015 00:09
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Nucken Futz posted:Please..............please post this. Nice try, Abdul.
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Jan 2, 2015 05:32
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:yeah, at Fort Leonard Wood and Fort Jackson. Sill, Benning, and Knox are all No Girls Allowed. Do they still do basic at Knox? Last I'd heard they'd moved that poo poo to Benning.
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Jan 11, 2015 05:37
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Cojawfee posted:Wait so there's coed boot camp as in boys and girls together? How do they keep them from boning each other the whole time? Life, uh, finds a way.
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Jan 11, 2015 05:57
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Ptolemaeus posted:Also let me add to my list of retardation and realize that after discussing with a buddy that it isn't actually real lowers. Its just the handgrip/trigger/selector for them which explains no serial and W------ and I guess they are used for training aid? You just described a lower.
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Jan 15, 2015 00:49
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PathAsc posted:What's the overall feeling on stories about KBR fuckery in this thread? gently caress KBR.
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Feb 11, 2015 04:23
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Blackchamber posted:I don't even remember seeing any portholes on the ship I did my deployment on. And the officer's mess, chief's mess, and the regular galley were all pretty much middle of the ship with the berthings being the closest things to the skin. There were tiny windows in some of the outermost hatches but that was about it. What kind of ship was this guy on you figure? Probably a submarine.
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May 31, 2015 05:04
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Godholio posted:And the US has been openly telling troops to shut the gently caress up on facebook about deployment schedules, flight schedules, etc for years. That didn't stop some loving dipshit officer from sending a flight roster with SSNs on it to his wife, who then posted it whole to Facebook. That's one of three times that the army posted my SSN to the internet.
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Jun 6, 2015 06:11
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I heard this story from my old PL. Not sure if it's true but it's a drat good story nonetheless and I think it belongs here. So my PL was prior-enlisted and went to OCS. Among the cadre he saw there was this grizzled old E5 so he thinks "oh, hey, they got Guard guys here too." Come to find out that he was not, in fact, an old Guard E5, but rather an Active Duty E5 who had been busted from E9 for probably the most over the top stupid Army story I've ever heard. Story goes that the dude used to be a battalion CSM. One evening a couple of his joes show up to the barracks beat up from a fight they had with some dudes in another battalion. That doesn't sit right with this CSM. So he orders every swinging dick in the barracks to form up in the parking lot as they are and to make sure they bring whatever baseball bats or mop handles or whathaveyou they have on hand. Forms up his battalion, marches them to the barracks where the dudes who allegedly beat up his joes lived and announced to the building via bullhorn that the offending motherfuckers had thirty seconds to surrender themselves before he ordered his battalion to take the barracks. I'm certain that the reason there was no response was because everybody inside was confused as hell. But true to his word, when the offending motherfuckers failed to surrender themselves, he ordered his battalion to take the barracks. Apparently you're not allowed to do that and, so the story goes, he was busted from E9 to E5. Is the story true? Probably not. But drat if the mental image of a very confused battalion rushing into another battalion's barracks at the order of their CSM isn't a good one.
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Jul 17, 2015 09:44
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LingcodKilla posted:It's all fun and games until you find a bag of gold teeth in pop-pops foot locker. And then it's even more fun and games. Have you seen the price of gold lately? You just KNOW some dude at one of those cash-for-gold places got a package full of 1930s and 40s dental work some vet's grandson sent in and just went "what the gently caress"
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Dec 8, 2015 02:12
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It's me. I'm the idiot. I thought the VA could help.
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Dec 10, 2015 22:43
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Agenta Khaulan posted:Don't worry just about everyone had SOME sort of hope at the beginning. Just think of it positively like "hey lots of guys/gals got hosed over by the VA too" and you might be ok.....or not IDK. My wife is dead because of it.
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Dec 10, 2015 23:55
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Soju straight from the bottle. Great idea or greatest idea yeah it's neither but it's the only alcohol I have right now
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Dec 11, 2015 01:32
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I'm on the internet. That's LIKE being with other people.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:38
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anne frank fanfic posted:I wish he died so i could pretend to be an old friend of his via twitter and check out his now single wifes cool pinterest page and like all the stock photos with interesting and unique filters applied to them and bang her, instead i need to read a thousand pages in the people who did something dumb thread about how sorry everyone is that hes now an eligible bachelor with an awesome sob story guaranteed to get him laid From the bottom of my heart, let me say that I hope you get cancer of the penis. It'll be the only way anyone would be able to find it anyway.
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Dec 11, 2015 21:16
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Yeah, don't let me drag you guys down. I appreciate your condolences and good wishes, but nothing's going to help me right now. Well, no, I take that back. Keep posting idiot stories. A distracting laugh is always welcome. Here, I'll start. I never really laid out my own history too much, beyond a brief story here and there. I was a Guard 19D from 2006 to 2012 with an Iraq deployment from 2009 to 2010. I was a college student when I joined up so I did split option training where I did basic one summer and AIT the next. My weekend drills in the year between was with RSP, or Recruit Sustainment Program. I don't know if they've since standardized it nationally, but when I joined what you did during RSP varied from state to state and we (Mississippi) basically spent a weekend doing a mini-basic that consisted of PT, drill, and random smokings. Having already done basic, it was pretty loving lame. So my idiot story. When I went back to Knox for AIT in 2007, I went with a couple guys I'd met in RSP who were going to the same unit as me. One of them was an okay guy who, I think, went active after we got back from Iraq. Okay guy, not the sharpest tool in the shed, typical redneck. I don't have any particular stories about him (except that we suspected he was a wife beater). But this other fuckhead. Holy balls. So when we got back from AIT, I was pretty much the only guy who went to the first drill. Not a huge deal, they forgot to coordinate with our recruiter and I only knew when to be at the armory because I'd asked specifically. Everybody was there either the next day or the following drill except for Fuckhead. I don't think we saw him for three or four months. So when he finally did show up, they reamed him out (as was right). When they finished, the first words out of his mouth were "I'm supposed to be an E3 now." Anyway, that's the first time he made PFC. Other stories include the time they were giving the ACT at our armory during drill weekend. The classroom was locked and he asked our platoon sergeant what was going on. "They're taking the ACT test in there." "ACT test?" he said. "Man, I don't know if I can pass a drug test." This is a guy who spent almost all of our deployment to Iraq on extra duty for various reasons (usually for being an idiot, such as picking a fight while by himself against literally a whole other company). During our pre-deployment drills, I remember once seeing him doing sprints through the parking lot, M4 above his head, while yelling "I WILL NOT FORGET MY WEAPON I WILL NOT FORGET MY WEAPON I WILL NOT FORGET MY WEAPON." I didn't really think anything of it until I saw that he was doing it for our 1SG. This was the only time I had ever seen our 1SG angry. He was a pretty chill dude, never raised his voice, always had a joke and something nice to say about you and was actually pretty informal. Not this time. I can only assume Fuckhead had left his M4 someplace exceptionally stupid, but who the hell knows. Maybe Top was just having a bad day. He reenlisted while we were in Iraq, netting himself a sweet tax-free bonus. Also, much to the chagrin of everyone in the company, he'd also somehow finagled a promotion to SPC to go along with it. Well, I guess it was about time for him to make E4. He'd made E3 like four times. But like I said, he spent the whole deployment on extra duty. Toward the end of the deployment, they were working up Article 15 paperwork on him because, while on extra duty, our pretty chill IRR recall E6 asked him to sweep the platoon office. Fuckhead's reasonable response was to throw the broom at his feet and say "you can't tell me what to do" before storming out. Ultimately he lost rank during demob for a plethora of sins, to include: Being late to formations and appointments Becoming a PX Ranger and buying combat patches and badges to which he was not entitled Disrespect and just a lovely attitude in general to everyone Then he deserted and we never heard from him again. Godspeed, Fuckhead, wherever you are. I close with something he said once when we were in Iraq, which I'm sure you'll find as insightful as I did. "If she's old enough to pee, she's old enough for me."
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Dec 13, 2015 02:22
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MurderBot posted:Us 19Ds are retards Dude's name was Wilmath. I don't think he's the same guy as your story.
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Dec 13, 2015 03:21
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I posted this over in the Get Help thread, but it belongs here too. As a military survivor, I'm entitled to base access, exchange and commissary privileges etc. until I remarry or die (whichever comes first). Apparently there's an entirely different form of military ID for survivors, so my Casualty Assistance Officer took me to the ID office today to get that set up. My wife was a Reservist on active duty when she passed. Her orders ended the day after she died. But because they were under 30 days in length, the orders were never uploaded into the system. So all the system is showing is when she was released from active duty last January when her ADOS orders ended, as such I'm not entitled to a new card according to the computer. We managed to get the people in the office to understand that she was, in fact, on active duty orders when she died. The CAO pointed out that if she hadn't been, he wouldn't have been assigned to me. Then the supervisor of the office looks at all the information we've given them and said that since my wife's orders were finished, I'm not entitled to any benefits. "Does that mean," I asked, "that when a soldier dies two days from the end of their enlistment, their survivor isn't entitled to benefits because the soldier's enlistment was over?" I'm told that is the case. Basically, they said that a survivor's benefits expire when the deceased service member's enlistment would have ended. "That's the dumbest loving thing I've ever heard," I responded. And they almost threw me out for saying that.
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Jan 8, 2016 20:48
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Well, we got it straightened out. The supervisor's problem was that they're used to dealing with living people. Service over = benefits over, pretty easy. The real issue was that the office that shares information with the CAO didn't have a copy of the orders that the CAO did have (which suggests to me that it was more a case of "gently caress that, it's lunchtime"). Anyway, now I'm waiting for some fucknugget at Fort Knox to upload a single sheet of paper into the system so it recognizes that my wife was on active duty when she died. But since she's dead, the dependent ID I had is no longer valid and they took it. So while I legally have access to the base and everything I just don't have any way to prove it. lol army
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Jan 8, 2016 21:27
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Oh, I'm also in the middle of disputing a charge for a VA outpatient visit that my wife never made. The date they claim they saw her was the date I went to speak to the Patient Advocate telling them that she'd received lovely treatment. So lol va too
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Jan 8, 2016 22:01
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Godholio posted:Jesus Christ, wouldn't it be nice if they'd at least not be lovely to someone in your situation? gently caress this entire Department of Defense. No, I'm in Maryland. But the personnel center that has to process the documents is at Knox. Basically they said "it's someone else's problem now, we'll call you when it's in the system."
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Jan 9, 2016 02:47
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Dralun posted:Is this dispute mostly taken care of and just now waiting for some VA billing clerks to pull their heads out their asses to remove the charge? If not, I might be able to help by telling you what to specifically ask for to prove she wasn't there as I've helped some of my patients in the the past with similar stupidity. I called and asked about it. Apparently this is the case. But honestly, if they don't fix it, what are they going to do? Ruin her credit? If push comes to shove I'll tell them that she's dead, it's their fault, and I'm not paying a loving cent.
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Jan 9, 2016 08:10
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Cojawfee posted:Only 6 states allow you to win the lottery anonymously, so whoever whens the 1.3 billion is hosed. I live in one of them!
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Jan 10, 2016 20:37
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So today it's me. I'm the idiot. I paid the idiot tax. I figured, Maryland is one of the states where you can win anonymously so I decided to drop ten bucks on five Powerball tickets. But I bubbled the wrong thing on the thing. I bought five Powerball tickets for the next five drawings. $50. JFC can't anything go smoothly for once?
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Jan 13, 2016 04:23
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neonbregna posted:Maryland is a shithole. You are an idiot for not living in dc where you can grow your own weed or va where you can own all the firearms. My wife was at Fort Meade. gently caress driving through DC beltway traffic so you can drive through Baltimore beltway traffic to get to work.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:30
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neonbregna posted:Thank you for your service what.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:44
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Soulex posted:If I'm buying I'm doing it right. Everybody stays home and gets drunk?
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Jan 13, 2016 06:15
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Soulex posted:Doesn't matter. Depends on how long the flight is. Fifteen minutes? We're talking puppies measured in cubic feet. Hours? Square footage all the way.
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Jan 13, 2016 06:28
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Soulex posted:The best part is the sad Air Force cunts that have to clean it cause gently caress you. A farm upstate?
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Jan 13, 2016 06:48
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Soulex posted:chili with dogs Korean fusion gets weirder all the time.
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Jan 13, 2016 07:53
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