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A de-frock chief, (now an E-6 again) showing up to PT with a "Initiated by Tradition" PT shirt. Granted, it was less about being dumb, and more about being a jerk and making all the other Khaki's pissed off.
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Dec 17, 2012 16:09
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 02:33 |
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buttplug posted:What did he do to get unfrocked? The reason he lost E7 DOES qualify for this thread. He was out with another new chief, and their sponsors celebrating passing transition/intitiation/what ever the gently caress they call it this week. They get rowdy at the bar, and a scuffle breaks out. Local cops called. They go to mast, the other guys back him up, blame townies for starting it. CO gives him probation, with instructions to go to AA meetings. He decides to skip his very 1st AA meeting. ....by going to a bar. CO defrocks him (disobey a lawful order). He decides the best course of action is to take it up a level and get the crazy train rolling by filing racial discrimination complaints against the whole upper chain. CO, XO, CMC, LCPO(he is African American). Once people realize what a goofball he is, the few friends he had abandon him. Wearing the Initaion PT shirt is just one more middle finger to the Mess. Several khakis gave him a "what's wrong with you" speech, and a few blue shirts gave him a "how can you walk with balls that huge" speech.
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Dec 18, 2012 17:39
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CSC (E-7 cook) getting busted doing the nasty with an E-3 crank 15 years younger than him. In the Supply Office. By the SUPPO. The night before the ship's commissioning ceremony. The CO made CSC call his wife in front of him to explain his sudden transfer to a different command and the reason behind it.
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Dec 31, 2012 12:47
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PO3 Fatass is nearing the end of her contract, and knows that she will not be eligible for re-enlistment because she is out of standards, and has failed the last 2 PRT's. What's a surefire way to get out of the PRT that they cant say poo poo about if you are female? Thats right, she gets pregnant. The whole time she is pregnant, she continues to smoke. Meanwhile she makes plans from day 1 to give the baby up for adoption. TL;DR: fat white trash skank concieves a human life in order to continue to be supported by the government, then disposes of said human life, as it is no longer useful to her. EDIT: She then re-enlisted for 6 years and got an SRB Nerdfest X fucked around with this message at 02:47 on Feb 3, 2013 |
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Feb 2, 2013 22:45
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Setting: Divisional uniform inspection Inspector: LCDR Ringknocker "Seaman Timmy, did you shave today?" Seaman Timmy: "No sir, I dont have to" LCDR: "Then you must have a no-shave chit. Is it on your person? If not, then that is a hit" Seaman Timmy insists that he is, indeed within standards, meets the requirements and whatnot. His peach fuzz chin is now the focus of the LPO, LCPO, DIVO, and the LCDR (Dept head of other department). He then procedes to instruct LCDR on Navy grooming standards and explaining that he is within standards, quoting regulation numbers and what not. Dude, just say yes or no, take the hit and get over it.
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Feb 5, 2013 04:58
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Martello posted:Yeah the "chit" thing was one of my biggest issues. Also don't know what "hit" means when it isn't your fist going into a dude's face or a bullet or like one of my people killing another one with a tommy gun. "Chit" is a navy term that refers to certain documents. No-shave chit, LLD chit, 72 hour liberty chit, special request chit, etc. Basically a chit waives you from certain regulations for a set amount of time. No-shave chits could be open-ended AFAIK. "Hit" refers to a discrepency found during an inspection, be it uniform, workspace or administrative records. Hits must be documented and corrected and a followup report submitted.
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Feb 5, 2013 06:15
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While it probably originated from the ward room, the Chief's mess adopted a "let's use Sea Warrior instead of Shipmate" policy. That's when I started dropping "shipmate" everywhere like I had Tourettes and using it as a bookend to every sentence that came out of my mouth.
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Feb 6, 2013 14:52
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Disbursing Officer using ship's funds to participate in a Nigerian 419 scam.
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Feb 14, 2013 01:11
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There is no article, this story was related by a "guest speaker" at a safety standown. There were 4 guest speakers, all of whom were on some traveling "dont gently caress up like I did" speaking tour, each person relating a story more serious/intense than the last. The first guy was running a MDMA ring on the ship and got busted for DUI (message: you can get a DUI on substances other than alcohol). 2nd guy was an alcoholic nuke who snuck vodka onboard a sub in Aquafina bottles (message: being found drunk on watch 3 weeks into a sub deployment is not healthy for your career). 3rd was said Disbo losing thousands in a Email scam. (message: fraud, waste and abuse in the Navy is bad, you WILL be caught). Last was a (alledged) battered wife who stabbed the poo poo out of her husband like 47 times (there were never any official reports of abuse). (message: if your spouse likes to slap you around, get the bruises documented before you embark on a murder spree) Also: you underestimate the levels of retardedness that occurs in the military to believe that some idiot O-2 would never do something this dumb. I submit this entire thread as proof Nerdfest X fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Feb 15, 2013 |
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Feb 14, 2013 07:09
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Anybody who shows the upper chain how stupid the latest Flavor of the Week policy is deserves a high five
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Feb 16, 2013 01:34
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A school NJP shenanigans: Piss hot, and while being escorted to Mast by MAC, requests to use the head. Then disappears. Returns exactly 29 days later, and actually makes it to Mast. But decides that he is above it. Tells all present "I refuse to recognize your authority over me", and does a casual about face in front of the CO. Since he is underage, booze is out. Even more so, since on restriction. During a restricted muster, alcohol smell on breath leads to locker inspection. Minibar discovered along with mirror, razor blade and white powder. Attempts to argue vehemently that they have no legal right to confiscate said contraband.
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Mar 7, 2013 03:08
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He didnt walk out. He just turned around. When asked to turn back around, and he ignored them, they just went ahead with the NJP. CO didn't really blow his top, he was more confused and he just finished like any other normal NJP. MAC was super-pissed, though.
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Mar 7, 2013 16:34
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The Chicago Blackhawks fans do a standing ovation during the nation anthem, as a support to the troops. The team always has standing next to the anthem singer: 1) An old timer war vet hours from his own funeral, and 2) an active duty service-person. Tonight it was an Air Force 0-5 pilot in his flight suit. How the gently caress this is OK?
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May 10, 2013 02:52
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manchego posted:there's a finality about putting my real clothes back on that makes me feel better about work being over This reminds me of all the "FTN" people who try as hard as possible to "stick it to the man" by: wearing civvies to and from work; not shopping at the commissary ever; never using the onbase gas station, even though it's 5 cents cheaper. You guys are such rebels!
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May 10, 2013 13:19
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Captain Amerikkka posted:1) Wearing your uniform off post is douchey as gently caress 1) Yes, it is, but I'm referring to the guy who is going straight to and from work everyday, 5 min drive to base. Yet is "too cool" to be seen in his uniform. 2) Some commissaries are just loving gross. The old one in San Diego had roaches. And forget anything "fresh" usually. (Unless this is for a command mandatory fun event. Then everything comes from the commissary). But some things WERE priced better than civilian supermarkets. (I always got milk there, was always 10-15% cheaper than out in town.) 3) Leave work during lunch, pass onbase gas station, go off base, 7 miles south to fill up(@ 5 cents a gal more), come back north towards base, go 3 miles north to go to McDonalds (even though there is a McDonalds onbase), come back the 3 miles south to base. Purposely avoiding "giving the Navy anymore of my hard earned dollars, gently caress that poo poo" EDIT: Change into civvies before and back into uniform after. Nerdfest X fucked around with this message at 23:39 on May 10, 2013 |
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May 10, 2013 16:53
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MancXVI posted:Picking up groceries on the way home from work? Eating lunch during normal working hours? Sure, why not? gently caress it. White trash family with 15 yo kid constantly opening/closing a butterfly knife, sporting a rat-nest hairdo, NMCRS T-shirt (apparently ironed with a rock), wearing the most worn out pair of utility pants (the ones you used for linehandling for 2 Westpacs), with the name tape stitching clearly visible on the back, at Old Country Buffet
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May 10, 2013 18:56
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CMC getting fired because he was unable to keep his "women don't belong on combat ships" opinion to himself
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May 29, 2013 02:59
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During Tiger cruise (civilians get to ride on ship) on carrier from Hawaii to San Diego, man overboard drill called while I was on watch, and my Dad is nowhere to be found. He served on a carrier in his day, and he was having a blast re-living his glory days. He is the last person to be accounted for, and at first I was embarrassed, then actually concerned that he did fall over the side. Thankfully, no, he is finally found after about 20 minutes since drill was 1st called away on the 0-8 level (flag bridge) sleeping in the Admiral's command chair. Evidence in plain view that he had been smoking up there. When told by some staff officer (I think it was XO of CRUDESGRU) that there is no smoking inside the ship, he tells him "Up yours buddy, I'm a taxpayer, I pay your salary". Walks away, giving no fucks.
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Jun 1, 2013 02:51
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Brittle Beard posted:Did they say anything to you about it? In no known universe can an E-4 (or someone who that E-4 is responsible for) tell an officer who has scrambled eggs on their hat to shove it, and there not be consequences and repercussions.
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Jun 1, 2013 04:19
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This is the story of Sal. That isn't his name, but it's the name he earned. Sal stands for "Sucks At Life". Sal knocked up his high-school GF (a fatty), and joined the navy. On 1st deployment, Sal gets word through the Base housing gossip channels that his wife might be up to some shenanigans. On the way back from deployment he requests to be one of the about 2 dozen who instead of riding the ship from Hawaii, to San Diego, then up to Seattle, he instead flies out of Pearl and straight to Seattle. Arriving about 3 days early, he sure enough catches his wife with Jody. Argument ensues, a window gets broken, MP's called. Wife takes out restraining order on Sal, Sal gets put on restriction. So now Sal is stuck on base, and his wife is getting dicked on the regular by Jody. Turns out Jody is a high-school senior, and they start having booze and weed parties every night in base housing on Sal's military paycheck. Sal's wife starts cleaning out the bank account every payday as soon as the money comes in. Sal tries about three times to beat her to the ATM on payday, and the 4th time he does. She immediately calls the base "I got no money for diapers/formula". While Sal's life is poo poo, he is in no way suicidal, but decides to play the sadpanda card, thinking he will earn sympathy from the command. Nope. After a few other episodes, (UA x2) command decides to cut ties with Sal, he gets discharged for "Pattern of Misconduct".
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Jun 2, 2013 02:10
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DRONES CURE HAJI posted:I'm getting out in a couple months, and I'm focused on getting ready for my civilian career. This more than anything is what makes lifers confused. I was E-6, and getting out due to ERB, and anytime some rear end in a top hat e-7/8 "suggested" doing something that would be "good for my career" I told them flat out that I was not interested in any way shape or form, without mentioning my ERB status. Then they would be completely flabbergasted as to why I was not interested in padding my service record with extraneous bullshit just to look like I was a "Go-getter". "It will make you competitive for advancement, shipmate". I shot right back in their face "My career WAS important to me, but I am no longer eligible for re-enlistment because the Navy wants me out, seeing as I have 14 years in, and was planning on re-upping for 6 more years, but BIG NAVY shot down my life's plans, so now I don't give a poo poo about feeding the homeless/Adopt-a-Highway/Krispy Kreme donut sales and other pointless, empty gestures that others do just to look good for Eval brown-nose points and the Chief's Board." After about 5 times reciting this speech to whatever clown presented some retarded community service dog-and-pony show weekend event, word got around the Goat locker
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Jun 11, 2013 03:43
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| # ¿ May 3, 2024 02:33 |
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This thread has become completely derailed. Back on track: Skipper orders freshwater washdown. In the rain.
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Jul 8, 2013 17:51
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