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We don't have a smartest dude in the army thread so I'm posting here instead. A private in my platoon uses old cigarette butts from the ground, ash trays, and trash cans to roll 'new' cigarettes. He says he can never get a job, it is impossible in thiis economy. Meanwhile, two fresh faced 18 year olds show up to the unit and manage to have jobs by their next drill. His roommate is a former Ranger who can knows the Ft. Irwin installation CO and can totally hook our us up with range time. He told LT this in front of everyone. His fiance can't even really be classified as a homo sapien. She is a sentient meatsack. He medidated in the field...during his guard shift. Did you know you don't have to respond to radio checks when you're meditating? It's in the AR about religion dudes. He is writing a book that's a cross between LOTR, Harry Potter, twilight, and whatever else is popular right now (he is giving me a copy when he's done). Oh, he even doesn't have to pay rent because his parenrs are gracious enough to pay his share when he's visiting
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Dec 21, 2012 03:50
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:46 |
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Demonlord posted:Just read this and would like to say I am one of the PA guard retards currently sitting in Kuwait. I loving hate this place. Have you seen a little baby-faced 13F private from California around? My buddy hopped onto a PA Guard deployment to Kuwait  He has a Napoleon complex and possibly hooah-induced ADD if that narrows it down at all. Mad Dragon posted:You're going to post this book when you get it, right? I'm trying to convince him to publish on Amazon. 
3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 03:30
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If college students are generally viewed as morons, why does everyone expect officers to be exceptionally more squared away? They go to the same basic training soooo
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Dec 25, 2012 01:43
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Wrong thread. drat phone app
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Dec 25, 2012 05:34
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I'm pretty bummed that I have to qualify at Camp Roberts next month because we couldn't even get a turn to shoot in October at Irwin because of the studmuffin support crew known as Fox. gently caress you guys.
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Dec 27, 2012 00:18
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not caring here posted:He got in trouble at the end of the cycle because he was apparently telling the DFAC staff to reduce our portion sizes and restrict certain items (more than the drill sergeants already had). I don't know if it was the CO, 1SG, or the DS, but half rations (already reduced) during and after ranges was pretty loving gay. We were actually pining for MREs over actual food. Lost 40 pounds because stupid fucks kept stealing candy from the MREs (and immediately gained back ~20 after maybe two weeks at AIT). War never changes. Also my current 1SG is loving lame and never lets us get seconds. I'm not even fat  
3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Dec 27, 2012 |
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Dec 27, 2012 19:14
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Elbows deep, brother.
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Dec 27, 2012 19:39
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So who else put salt in the hand sanitizer to make alcoholic apple cider for fireguard? E: I think that qualifies as me being an idiot
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Dec 27, 2012 22:03
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That driving poo poo reminds me of my most recent couseling. Last July, I was given an initial counseling by my new platoon sergeant. It was the normal poo poo, goals blah blah blah..except for one weird part. I am required to get a civilian driver's license. What? So I ask him about that. I mean, we're a loving National Guard unit, who the hell doesn't have one except for the occasional high school kid? SSG tells me that he put it on everyone's paperwork so the one idiot (Mr. Trashcan Fag Diver from before) wouldn't feel singled out. There was also "get a job" and "go to college" on there, too. I hate my unit so much. I don't even understand how it's possible to have been in the Guard for *three* loving years with a 3 hour round-trip to the armory and not have one by now. That means his grandpa (who is cool and a WW2 navy vet) has been driving this moron back and forth the whole time. IMO this is just proof that enlisted genes degrade overtime or maybe even experience high rates of mutation. Don't get excited though, it's like getting bit by a radioactive horse and instead of getting a massive schlong, you turn into a brony. MoraleHazard posted:Lastly, dumb officer gun stuff. Going on an IA deployment, we were doing the Army NIACT course in Fort Jackson and they had us doing a night fire in two lines. the first line is supposed to shoot and the second to wait until the first is done. Perhaps it was the DI's fault, but one of the officers drew his M9 and fired from the second line while a shooter was in front of him. Good thing he was a poor shot. Are you sure it was the DS or maybe the officer who apparently never fired a weapon at a range before? Jackson ranges are pretty obvious with the firing and standby positions. Every range I've seen has a firing pit + 1-2 places to sit/stand awkwardly per lane. Unless you guys stood directly behind each other in the same lane? 
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Dec 29, 2012 06:43
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gently caress the haters, I love the fleece cap and jacket. It's better than my civilian cold weather poo poo (Cali owns gently caress y'all)
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Feb 1, 2013 09:55
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And that's why you shouldn't put pussy on a pedestal. Story from one of the section leaders: Apparently when soldiers go AWOL so long it becomes desertion, any army guy (in this case a CID(?) guy), needs to be accompanied by a cop in case the guy tries to flee. Sgt A is at this point finishing active as a recruiter and gets a call from a buddy asking if he wants to tag along an AWOL with him since they were close by. He says yes and drives out to meet him. They got to a big one story house that had a front and back door. Sgt A is built like a blacksquatch so one of the cops takes him to cover the back door. As they start heading over, Sgt A's friend bangs on the door, "PFC Fuckface, we know you're in there. We have a warrant for your arrest." They hear a faint "OH poo poo" from inside the house and footsteps towards the backdoor, where Sgt A is now posted. He is leaning against the door (it swung out). Fuckface runs and collides with the immovable object. They hear him panicking when suddenly he crashes out of the window next to the door. A note about glass: it shatters into shards, not into perfectly tiny pieces like in the movies (except windshields). PFC Fuckface was loving shredded. He didn't run after that.
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Jun 1, 2013 20:43
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:46 |
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Once you make a single mistake you're as good as a terrorist 
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Jun 1, 2013 21:19
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