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Oops, someone made a mistake with a piece of equipment! Quick, call the Colonel! He'll know what to do! Also I could definitely understand relieving an officer for destroying a piece of equipment. Once you're a company commander the only thing that you can really gently caress up is your property book, so he failed at the most important aspect of command. He'd probably be a pretty sweet staff officer though.
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Dec 24, 2012 05:54
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Oh yes they do.
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Dec 24, 2012 21:27
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At division if you were an officer and you weren't the FSCOORD or his deputy you were either put there for being retarded or trying desperately to get out. We had an O-3 come to our section after being relieved of command for lying about some property book accountability bullshit and then apparently doing horrible in a staff job. The guy was one of the most annoying, incompetent motherfuckers I have ever met in my whole entire life. He never completed a single task he was assigned, he listened to tons of AM right-wing talk radio and constantly argued about gun rights and other right-wing talking points, and above all was a complete and utter moron who failed spectacularly at life. His highlights included: - Playing an excel-based video game on the deputy's SIPR computer. Once the IA folks in G6 found out about it they confiscated the deputy's laptop during our most important exercise. - Masturbating in his office in Iraq. - Getting caught having visited porn sites in his office on a commercial line by yours truly and my supervisor and somehow getting away with it. - Generally loving everything up and getting assigned to be the OIC of a section that drove around VIPs and served them coffee. Despite all of that I watched him get promoted to Major. Good job Army. I also worked with this guy: http://www.armytimes.com/news/2012/10/army-major-gets-30-days-forfeits-6-months-pay-100312/ Cool guy, but definitely sort of an idiot.
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Dec 25, 2012 00:40
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DoktorLoken posted:Confiscating his laptop for playing Excel games? Lol. Our IA dudes were dickheads, but the big thing was that he knew he wasn't supposed to have it, he played it on our Deputy's SIPR despite never being told to do any work in his office (we had like 15 SIPR computers), and of course the Deputy's computer went missing for like three days while IA "examined" it. He got loving rocked for that poo poo.
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Dec 25, 2012 05:25
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I never once cleaned my M4 while I was in the Army because my arms room guys were idiots and never even knew who was assigned what. They always wound up cleaning my poo poo  edit: In garrison anyways. I spent a lot of time cleaning my poo poo in Iraq. vacation in kabul fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Dec 26, 2012 |
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Dec 26, 2012 22:45
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I just remembered, we had an E-6 who wound up getting his clearance revoked while we were deployed. Supposedly the story went that he had been thrown into an orderly room in his previous unit for being an unimaginably huge gently caress-up, and at some point his clearance had been revoked because of a ton of outstanding debt. So his old unit, instead of actually handling the problem, did a 1-for-1 swap with our section for a huge fatass E-6 (had 34% bodyfat according to the tape) when our SGM was desperately trying to unload fatty. So what does the guy without the clearance do? Applies for a top secret when he gets up to division! About seven months after they started the TS investigation someone finally realizes he wasn't even eligible for a secret and notifies our S2. This leads to him getting kicked out of the building and our section for a few days while our SGM did some bullshit deal with G2 and got him an interim Secret. The day it happened our SGM and NCOIC were absolutely flipping their poo poo. They were telling me and my supervisor what a huge shitbag this dude was, how his old unit screwed them, and on and on (everyone already knew all of this). We had to grab him out of his CHU so he could meet our SGM and get a huge asschewing, and as he trots up to meet him and get dressed down the SGM notices he has pin-on E-5 rank on his patrol cap (everything was supposed to be sewed on) that he had drawn a rocker under with a permanent marker. The asschewing was epic and hilarious. That's not the real point of the story though. That guy got a perfect NCOER following all of this poo poo and was recently promoted to E-7. gently caress you Army. vacation in kabul fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Dec 28, 2012 |
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Dec 28, 2012 18:47
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xwonderboyx posted:The tape is inaccurate and all but you have to be The guy was insanely fat. I ran into him in Kuwait while I was on EML and he had shed like 150 pounds and looked like a normal person again. I guess being on a line unit for the first time in his seven year career really helped him out.
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Dec 28, 2012 19:31
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fat to tape over 20-something. Jesus christ.
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faddypaddy posted:who was in Dessert Storm What a delicious war that was.
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Jan 28, 2013 03:51
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We had a guy that wanted to make a .50 cal necklace on our deployment and decided to hammer the round for some reason, ignited the primer and blew part of his finger off. He was an NCO and got sent home after he was medevaced elsewhere. It was like two weeks into our deployment. He also had to go to jail once for thirty days and got to take leave for it and had no NJP against him. The dude had been promoted last time I saw. E: he might have been drilling through it. Also gay people who make 50 cal necklaces usually use the spent shells not try to make them out of live rounds. vacation in kabul fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Jan 30, 2013 |
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Jan 30, 2013 02:14
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AB posted:Lucky that he only lost a finger. He was beyond lucky. He literally just blew a part of his finger off, he had a smallish chunk missing off of his pointer finger and a nice scar. He probably got sent home mostly because he was an embarrassing retard.
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Jan 30, 2013 02:28
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:21 |
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Mike-o posted:A couple fisters that were in my company were doing live fire training, calling in fire with their FSV Stryker near one of our lovely little FOBs in Afghanistan. I'm a dumb loving grunt so I can't remember all the terms and names, but the guy back in the tent who is supposed to take those calls and send them to the gun bunnies was a complete loving idiot. To put it in a few words, he screwed up the readback so bad that they were danger loving close about 50 meters from our fisters. Cue giant pieces of shrapnel flying towards the FSV, with one bowie knife sized shard of metal zipping past and slicing open my buddy's hand as he's standing in the turrent. I don't even think they punished the guy, and he stayed in that position until the end of the deployment. You're talking about the Fire Direction Center folks. 13D's. Don't remember what the actual name of that MOS is. I've been reminiscing too much about the Army today. I had a buddy who used to like to pee on our shoes at urinals and toilets at bars when we got wasted. He always thought it was the funniest thing ever when he sprayed his piss all over peoples kicks. One night we got incredibly wasted and he thought he was peeing all over my shoes (he was trying to get me back for burning him with a cigarette earlier in the evening) but it turned out to be one of the bouncers. The guy knocked his rear end the gently caress out, but he let us all stay. My buddy never went back to that bar, but that bouncer instantly became one of my all-time favorite bouncers.
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Jan 30, 2013 04:38
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