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movax posted:Forget killing babies, how does our military let literal retards near nuclear power plants and other high power industrial equipment? Be exposed to the military at any length will confound, sadden, and alarm you. It's almost a miracle we're somewhat capable.
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Dec 26, 2012 04:14
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:23 |
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About 6 years ago, I worked at the Ramstein Contingency Aeromedical Staging Facility, or CASF there's a few of them scattered world-wide mostly staffed by deployers with the backing of a skeleton group of permanent party members.I was one of those at Ramstein. One deployer to us what the dumbest loving human being I've ever encountered. I am legitimately serious in this statement -- her parents were better off taking her out back and making due haste in beating whatever tawdry amount of brain cells that were not firing in her skull back into some degree of normal operation. She was, in a sense, dumber than the cum shot her father blasted inside his loving wife's pussy. In reality, that ounce or so of jizz was far more valuable than anything the resulting spawn of it has ever done. Her name, for this story, is SSgt Black. SSgt Black came to the Ramstein CASF in 2007 for the summer rotation. She was an active duty medical admin airman from a base in Florida. I, at the time, was a newly sewn on E-4. The job was easy as long as the human tasked with doing the various admin functions was capable of adding up numbers, transferring said numbers into several Excel products, and then categorizing the numbers into other smaller, more specific kinds of numbers related to the patients we've received in the past 12 hours. As it were, I was the permanent party go-to admin guy for the day shift. SSgt Black was told that she was just to be trained by me then run the shift while I just hung out working the flight line aspect while also keeping an eye on the reports for accuracy. This situation quickly spiraled out of control as she bumbled a few of the reports. Some so bad that she hosed the spreadsheets up in such a manner that we had to revert to old copies that were severely out of date which probably led to a serious inaccuracy of patients moved because some old mission sheets were just gone. This wasn't just a new thing, this kept up for the whole deployment. The importance of these reports wasn't just a clinic-wide thing either. No, these numbers were the official count of the wounded, sick, and injured of US personnel and civilians leaving both wars at the time. They went to some far-reaching places. Never did she get the importance of it and on most occasions was somehow under the belief that they were just all in-house use. At this point with her inability to math simple numbers and transpose the results onto other reports, I threw the continuity book her way. I wrote this thing months ago under the guise of, "Could I follow this if it was 2 am and I was hammered drunk? Like almost comatose blasted?" Did she get it then? Nope. In fact, SSgt Black got the pages out of order which is hilarious because A. the book was in a 3-ring binder and B. tabbed with page numbers. At this point, I just made it be clear to her that if I needed her to work on anything that she needs to explicitly ask me or someone else. This is when the cat noises became a reality for me. I'm not talking YOSPOS levels. No. Well maybe. SSgt Black would call home to speak with her husband and kids while on shift. OK no big. She would do this from her desk while the perfectly equipped and comfy USO lounge in the building with multiple phones and free calling cards sat unused a mere jaunt down the main hallway. Whatever. It got weird when she would ask for her husband to put the cats on the phone then speak in that high-pitched squee!!! voice everyone does to their animals at least once in their life. This devolved into her calling home just to make meow and cat-chirping noises to the answering machine. It was rare that she would actually address anyone else such as her kids or her man. I asked her once after several of these calls, "Hey so what's you constantly missing your family when calling?" "Oh, I know that they're not home!"  This was combined with her dramatic lack of output, loving up many messages, e-mails, and other secretarial poo poo that the front office people tasked her with (I warned them, believe you me) that I ended up telling her to go home mid-way through shift almost every day we worked. It was the only way that to deal with her. To close this out, she left after her 4 month stint was done causing some serious damage to the way we did business in her first month there with the spreadsheet disaster. I am hoping someone else in the DoD kept track of patient numbers or did some sort of accountability because there's probably a few dozen dudes not on record in some manner.
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Feb 3, 2013 04:47
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She was from Eglin. A real special gal, she was.
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Feb 4, 2013 05:59
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hannibal posted:Yeah, NIPRNET isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. If you had used the red cable, however... you would probably be getting your laptop back without its hard drive. That reminds me of a story from a TDY a while back. It's pretty common for guys to bring cameras on the jet to take pictures of the scenery and whatnot. Hell, I keep one packed in my pro gear just for that. Anyway, some guy took a group shot of a few people in front of a piece of sensitive radar equipment. One idiot backender saw this photo and instead of doing the neighborly thing of asking the guy to delete the pic, he turned him in to the security people for the installation. I don't remember exact numbers, but a whole bunch of people got their hard drives nuked, memory cards confiscated, and were poo poo out of luck when handed back bricked laptops. The rationale behind the drastic steps taken were that a lot of eternal hard drives were passed around with dudes trading movies and other poo poo to watch during the flight. Thankfully the poo poo wasn't my crew. I'd be pissed.
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Mar 9, 2013 09:43
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This is a fairly generic one because I don't know who was individually involved. Anyhow, medical and civil engineer shared dorms at Andersen AFB. This was a good deal for CE because the dorms were mixed. This was a good deal for me being medical because I got to hear about all the awfulness that went down. 14 cases of chlamydia traced back to 3 girls in a very short period of time. This could also dual hat as "enlisted girls, a lot of them."
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Apr 18, 2013 01:32
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Mike-o posted:What the hell is W&W and GLITBL? W&W was a previous name for the health and fitness sub-forum now known as You Look Like poo poo.
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May 3, 2013 04:01
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Snowdens Secret posted:Watch and Weight SA goon legend, Two Worlds thread. A must read. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3188411
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May 3, 2013 04:24
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Dad's home!
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May 3, 2013 05:26
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The pre-workout supps explain the constant making GBS threads the monkey experienced.
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May 3, 2013 18:19
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Holy poo poo. Aggressively stupid doesn't even cover it.
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May 3, 2013 23:52
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Nerdfest X posted:The Chicago Blackhawks fans do a standing ovation during the nation anthem, as a support to the troops. The team always has standing next to the anthem singer: 1) An old timer war vet hours from his own funeral, and 2) an active duty service-person. Tonight it was an Air Force 0-5 pilot in his flight suit. How the gently caress this is OK? It was also a flight doc; not a pilot. That kinda makes it worse.
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May 10, 2013 03:40
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I knew a retard (most likely pedophile) nav who wore his flight suit out to TGI Fridays when he went out trawling for pussy.
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May 10, 2013 17:52
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Scratch Monkey posted:Possible pedo aside, did it work? If wearing a flight suit gave me an edge in getting laid I'd definitely do that. He cleaned up alright. Was it the flight suit that helped or tremendously low standards? 
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May 10, 2013 21:18
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On a piece of aerospace ground equipment, I believe the dash 60 power cart, the tow bar is spring-loaded for whatever reason. I'm not very familiar with it but I do know it has a big red warning on it that very well might say, "Fuckface, do not put your head anywhere near here because the tow bar will never let you forget your idiocy." Well a rather dumb MX girl failed to heed this warning. So on this fateful day someone had asked her to go wrap up the long power cable that ran to the jet. Whatever the hell happened, she caught a large steel bar to the face. The hit was so devastating that, me on the jet, looked over after she had been pulled to the shade for treatment thought the large puddle of blood was actually a fluid leak from the cart. I radio'ed down to the crew chief wondering if the cart poo poo the bed after they unplugged us and the dude was like, "Nah man that loving retard Jessica took a tow bar right to the face." I was flying with our deployed squadron DO that day and his response was like, "We have a takeoff time to make. Call for engine start. She'll be fine." Dude was cold-blooded. bloops fucked around with this message at 06:30 on May 15, 2013 |
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May 15, 2013 06:27
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I dunno man. All I do know is that she was incredibly stupid. Like don't even try to cut her some slack, she was legit Dumb. Wish I saw the hit. The guys who saw it made it sound like they witnessed a star being born by how amazing it was.
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May 15, 2013 06:48
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I wouldn't have much for that. Most of my stories have been told in other threads.
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May 15, 2013 19:11
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Holy poo poo man.
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May 29, 2013 19:02
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If you can keep a mistake a secret that isn't harmful to the jet or its occupants but only to you, you do.
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May 29, 2013 19:08
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Ya I got a taxi one night from a bar in OKC which is an AWACS town if there ever was any and the driver swore he flew on the E-3 as a radar tech which is totally believable but then he went on about how part of his job was to clamber up the struts and into the dome for maintenance during flight. So......probably not true. Fakers need to get their poo poo straight. Just lie and say you were a cop.
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Oct 10, 2013 03:36
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Here's a 100% fool proof faker story: USAF security forces (call yourself SF for street cred but that could bring unwanted attention if you meet a legit AF cop) who deployed once to Afghanistan and did a few TDY's to Texas. Boom! Most uninteresting career ever. Enjoy your stolen valor.
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Oct 10, 2013 03:55
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gleep gloop posted:I got to watch a USAF security forces guy blow his own foot off on camera when BAF got hit in May 2010. Wait what? He himself did it? Story time, Mr. Fhloop.
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Oct 10, 2013 03:59
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gleep gloop posted:Well BAF had a wire breech and these security forces dudes roll up on where it was reported to be. I guess they didn't really believe it because they just kind of sauntered around without looking. They both had M16s while the .50 cal on their humvee just sat their chilling. Anyway the Afghan dude (In ACUs) who was laying next to the wire sat up and SF McBadass fumbled with his 16 and shot himself square in the drat boot. His buddy panicked, started to run away, turned and fired like 4 shots at nothing then helped his buddy to the humvee where they said lol bye and drove off, leaving the unarmed contractors and like 3 random Joes to cower in a bunker while the Afghans shot small arms fire and RPGs at them. Until a pair of Apaches went buck rear end wild and blew everything to poo poo. I would've paid a lot of money to have seen this all play out IRL. gently caress let's just make it mandatory that everyone has to wear a GoPro at all times.
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Oct 10, 2013 04:28
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Charley's
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Oct 15, 2013 20:02
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PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:gently caress charleys forever wow look who's got a smart mouth
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Oct 16, 2013 00:00
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chicken teriyaki crew qtiyd
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Oct 16, 2013 00:21
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PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:popeyes chicken crew you don't have to quote poo poo because i know youre too busy eating delicious food and being a good person, unlike charleys eaters who have to distract themselves with the internet to choke down their flavorless sludge you're literally a nazi do you know this?!?
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Oct 16, 2013 00:28
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your a gay earth
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Oct 16, 2013 00:33
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What who doesn't love Cinnabun?!?!
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Oct 16, 2013 01:07
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Aximus posted:Antony's is alright when its nice and hot, but I always hated it because my dad would have it made before they closed the store so he'd show up with it hours later with nice and cold. That's the worst pizza in the loving world. There is nothing 'alright' about Anthony's.
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Oct 18, 2013 04:58
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Ya my last squadron had the superintendent get away with an on-base DUI. Dunno if the cop was his buddy or what.
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Oct 22, 2013 19:24
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| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 03:23 |
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The very Asian kid in my basic training flight would jerk off at night and cry immediately afterwards. I know this because he was top bunk. It was awful.
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Dec 28, 2013 01:43
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