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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:
We had a reserve augment dude come in for deployment. He wasn't dumb-dumb, his ASVAB was I'm guessing probably at least more than 50, he had some college, etc. But he was definitely actual dumb. Greatest hits: -hiding candy in his rack at night, eating fast food chow despite being overweight, eating 4-5 meals a day of the fast food chow, generally in multiple helpings, and then finally having his own ankles break under the weight of supporting himself during a rare and in his case enforced PT session. Thereafter he happily became the Lord of the Bing. Actually come to think of it. . .that could have been intentional. But then the idiocy becomes "WHY DID YOU JOIN DURING WARTIME YOU IDIOT." -Pre deployment, would go to strip clubs every free night he had and spend hundreds of dollars each time. Went into debt, for strippers. Some family member died and he could not afford a plane ticket to attend the funeral. Whole platoon chipped in, while contemplating murder. -flagging another gunner's back with a 50 cal after loading/condition 1 by the clearing barrels, then bending down with all kinds of random idiot poo poo strapped loosely to his flak, having various dumb metal heavy attachments come within inches of the butterfly. He wasn't allowed to touch a loaded weapon after this. -by virtue being a fat sloppy American, figured he naturally had inherent technical and mechanical knowledge. Would shout meaningless jumbles of words like "check the piston coil" in all seriousness whenever anyone else was staring at an engine or mechanical part, for any reason. Would then amble over and loudly talk over whatever productive discussion between non-idiots was previously occurring. -upon looking at deactivating, the platoon leader told all of us we had a choice of either taking our leave then leaving active duty automatically upon leave expiration, or just being paid for the leave. The former entails basically being double paid for that leave period, since you're being paid wages and BAH while on leave too (thanks, America!). He emphatically maintained that he would like to just get paid for leave time immediately. Best Friends fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Nov 28, 2012 |
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Nov 28, 2012 04:37
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LEGIT WAR CRIMINAL posted:After our OSUT graduation, dude with an 18X contract proceeds to buy anything at ranger joe's that has airborne wings on it. T-shirt, hat, zippo, etc. Even gets airborne wings tattooed on his chest. He then proceeds to fail the PT test at airborne school and never gets his wings. There was this dude in artillery school we all just called "moto." Had six large USMC tattoos covering what had to have been half of his upper body. Would start and end every conversation with an unironic "ooohrah." Right after artillery school my unit was activated and went to Camp Lejeune for workup. One day, this is maybe six weeks max after artillery school graduated, I see him in sweats, apathetically digging something pointless, in front of a battalion HQ. It is about 1pm. I ask him what is up and all he'll say is he's getting out. edit: quote:I've noticed this about a lot of guys I went on my first deployment with. They were all gently caress the Army getting out this sucks, but now every post they every make on facebook is some HOOAH Army bullshit or some quote from some gay infantry facebook page. I can't even imagine how they play that poo poo up in their every day lives. This is why 90% of the people I spend time with are civilians and when they ask about what I do I just say I am collecting unemployment. This too.
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Feb 1, 2013 04:42
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You may be surprised to learn that the military is not chill about small details and nomenclature but there it is. edit: a lot of it is dumb but I would legit lose my mind (only ever so slightly though because yelling is mean) if a boot called a rifle a "gun." Then again I was artillery so whatever.
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Feb 7, 2013 01:24
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-dumb off topic question removed by me - Ah, "equipment." Oof. I'm an idiot and did not read a word. Best Friends fucked around with this message at 11:55 on Feb 12, 2013 |
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Feb 12, 2013 11:53
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Cwmagain posted:Met an Austrian conscript in a bar just the other day who told me about how he, on border duty, would single out Dutch vehicles and scare them shitless with rifle pointed at them, just because he hated duty. He also told me he was far from the only one doing it. :/ Bit of a derail, but I used to work with a former Austrian conscript assigned as a machine gunner, and finding out from him that the Austrian military name for the M2 Browning .50 cal is "ueberschweres Maschinengewehr" ("overly heavy machinegun") was fantastic.
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Feb 21, 2013 00:24
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I suck with grenades. I can never get a good arc, always end up fastballing the damned thing into the dirt. The trick is to shotput it instead of throwing it like a baseball. At least that is what worked for me. Though all the baseball dudes rocked at grenade throwing so what do I know.
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Mar 21, 2013 01:19
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gfanikf posted:That actually sounds like a good thing. I don't know the details of this but if that happened anytime late that would totally suck, depending on how many M2s were on the line and if anything else lovely was going on especially. Later on the range means later back to the armory means later to the rack, and even later still for the 7 ton drivers who have to go to the motorpool, and probably be back up again in like 2 hours for the next thing. The military has ways of turning firing weapons, working out, hiking and hanging out with your friends all into unpleasant activities. edit: related on the tax dollar wasting, the end of every fire ex I was ever on was a just a fuckton of fire missions coming down from FDC expressly for the purpose of burning the remaining ammunition so we could get to cleaning the howitzers and off the range in time for the next element on the training schedule. The projectiles are all old as poo poo so even though they cost the taxpayer money its really more of a theoretical thing, but a lot of the fuzes were newer and those got pricey, and powder was all pretty new too. So it was basically us all burning, more or less literally, 50000-100000 dollars or whatever in short order to save the time and I guess on a leadership level shame of returning ammo to the ammo dump. Every fire ex. Although I guess there is training value in firing lots of rounds quickly, come to think of it. So not a total waste. Best Friends fucked around with this message at 20:36 on May 2, 2013 |
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May 2, 2013 20:26
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 Pictured: shitbag unaware that his nation was at war.
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May 10, 2013 06:51
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Vincent Van Goatse posted:You guys forgot "neo-liberal", bonus points if its used interchangeably with "neo-conservative" You can legitimately be both neo-liberal and neo-conservative though. Which is as good an argument as any for them being lovely terms. Especially since "neo-liberal" especially is frequently used in a sense completely removed from its origin, sometimes even contradictory entirely to the philosophical sense, falling victim to the liberal in philosophy v liberal in American usage split. "Neo-conservative" too is often seemingly deployed just because "neo" seems to have taken on a dark meaning and so it can be used to mean "extra bad conservative." And even as originally used, the term never had a very rigorous definition. At least "neo liberal" meant something clear and definable at some point. It's me, I'm the guy who gets mad at vague descriptors.
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Jun 29, 2013 22:50
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In reality, bus drivers are shot if they go over 25 miles an hour. I've heard both Executive Decision and Air Force One pretty accurately describe the presidency though.
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Sep 20, 2013 05:18
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I understand drugs for feeling good and I understand drugs because you are addicted to the drug, but I do not understand PCP because it sounds like neither of those. Hmm bored. I could sit around and watch tv, I could smoke some weed and feel good and watch some tv, or hell, smoke this other stuff and them commit felonies and get either killed or arrested. Yes, let's do that last one, that is the plan. Also pretty sure all 50 foot ant's stories are fake, because that is what he does, but whatever.
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Sep 21, 2013 23:10
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The punishment for spice should be far greater than the punishment for real drugs because have some self-respect, jesus. Inhalants of course should result in immediate execution.
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Oct 18, 2013 23:19
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friend of the family DEATH TURBO posted:an officer on these very forums took out a $20k loan to buy facebook stock when they went public Holy poo poo.
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Oct 26, 2013 06:44
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Frosted Flake posted:besides the M777. The m777 is fantastic though.
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Jan 3, 2014 00:45
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Anansi The Spider posted:I sometimes wonder how you can be poor in the Army. Then I look to my left and right and see 350$ jordans and 200 dollar Oakleys and stop wondering. M3, mustang, m3, mustang, m3, some stupid jeep jacked up with a thousand moto stickers but at least it was probably cheap, mustang -every barracks parking lot ever.
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Jun 5, 2014 00:59
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Justin Tyme posted:
She's probably married to a soldier. So, a really deep rut. Real bad.
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Jun 7, 2014 01:24
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It's pretty funny how the only things we still haggle for in our culture - salary, cars, and houses - are by far the most costly things to get hosed over on, and in all cases you are going up against some of the only people in our culture who haggle and negotiate prices daily. I'm not saying I want to have a one hour conversation every time I buy onions, but man it would make me better at negotiating salaries.
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Jun 7, 2014 23:00
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