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Vasudus posted:
Literally an IRC client run over secure networks. Biggest idiot I know would be the guy I went through OTS with that punched his newborn son to death. Played dumb, invented lovely excuses, finally admitted it to his wife who wasn't having any of that poo poo. When AIDS CURES FAGGOTS and I were roomies at Tyndall he named his Guitar Hero band The Valois. Edit: Oh yeah here's a winner: I was at a farewell lunch for one of the instructors in the ABM schoolhouse (at Tyndall), sitting with a guy from my class who was prior-enlisted...something like 12 years. 2d Lt SC, from 2 or 3 classes ahead of us (about 6-8 weeks in the 8 month course) decides to sit with us, and flex his mentorship muscles. "Don't worry guys, this Air Force lifestyle isn't too bad once you get used to it."  Fast forward to just after SC's completion of that course, and it's SERE time! I didn't mention it earlier, but he's a worthless fat piece of poo poo. He had to get something like 6 IVs in the field, and when he got back he had tons of skin just hanging off his face...he probably lost 25 lbs. Now this part of the story I got from a good friend who was in his team in the field. SC had to take a poo poo. Instead of grabbing a shovel and going into the bushes outside the campsite like he should've, he just marched off about 20 feet, dropped trou in plain sight, and took care of business. The SERE instructor made him bag it and carry it the rest of the time. Fast forward another 1-2 years. 1Lt SC has finally become a fully qualified Combat Mission Ready AWACS crewmember. These jets routinely fly missions over 12 hours long, and if something serious is going on, they can fly up to 24. When you've got 20-40 people up there for that long, it's a good idea to give them a lavatory and galley (about 1/3 of the galleys don't work anymore, but that's beside the point). Due to the nature of the equipment aboard, a microwave is not an option, but there are two old-school airliner ovens about 6x8x6". SC almost started a fire at 31,000 feet by putting his lunch in there, in a loving tupperware container. When confronted, he claimed "It says it's microwave oven safe! See? OVEN!" A couple of weeks after, his squadron commander downgrades him to Unqualified after he almost puts two airplanes together due to incompetence. Fast forward another year or two. Capt SC has been sent to Afghanistan as an Air Liason Officer! Good lord. He comes home early, for reasons he vaguely explains as being related to his deployment being illegal or something equally bizarre. The real story is that he was in an argument with a SNCO, and decided to draw his M9 and place it on the table, stating "Well I'm a captain, so..." Capt SC was promoted to civilian in the 2012 RIF. 
Godholio fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Nov 28, 2012 |
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Nov 28, 2012 22:43
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iyaayas01 posted:Oh, here's a short and sweet one: apparently calling a PME instructor a oval office will get you booted from ALS. Oh man that would've been a fun conversation if it was one of my guys. "Now, explain to me the thought process that ended with: I know! I'll call her a oval office! That'll improve the situation!" I think I would have no choice but to use the word repeatedly throughout the counseling, just to make it as awkward as humanly possible. We had a troop the squadron was trying to discharge when I got into the office. He had 11 LOCs/LOAs/LORs (mostly LOCs). Generally they were for dumb poo poo like being late all the time, missing appointments, etc; he made the same mistakes over and over. He never actually completed his training to become CMR (ie fully qualified aircrew). JAG threw out several of the letters, pointing out where the previous leadership had failed to dot the is and cross the ts perfectly enough, but offered to look over future letters to avoid that next timne...because they knew there would be a next time (they were right, he made it another 6 months or so). The best LOC, though, was for falling asleep in the bathroom. He had vanished for about two hours, and nobody knew where he was. His phone was in the office, and someone had called his name in the bathroom with no response, so they didn't think he was there. It wasn't until someone reported snoring in one of the stalls that they figured it out. I don't know how he didn't die of a blood clot. Godholio fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Nov 30, 2012 |
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Nov 30, 2012 16:19
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HATE CURES TRANNYS posted:You're loving kidding me. Do we know what the chain of command was like for these programs? Were they mostly military run or CIA/NSA/whatever? I can't believe a general was able to bully his way into a MiG like that. Most people aren't going to say no to a 3-star when it doesn't involve blatant violations of law that they can blow a whistle at. What are they going to do when he ends their career? Instead of a cushy contractor job with Lockheed/Boeing in the same field, they're working in the MPF and stuck there until HYT/retirement, with no recourse. Blow the whistle and find yourself in deep poo poo for outing the program. Whistleblower protection doesn't apply to that. Plus if any pilot is going to be able to hop into a situation like that, it's going to be one with a rap sheet like his.
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Dec 3, 2012 21:33
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That's not an actual pocket rocket, I can't tell what the design is but it's different. And the hat pin isn't JROTC, nor are the rank pins, so voting CAP. Edit: At the Dhafra BX CMSgt w/diamond were the only stripes on the rack that had more than one set at any given time.
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Dec 4, 2012 00:25
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DrCuntmuffins posted:civil air patrol - aka high schoolers with ribbons for dumb poo poo and make-believe military That's jrotc. CAP actually does some cool poo poo (but does cross into the jrotc side of things at the same time). Edit: Yeah very few ribbons actually cross over. Mostly only if they're earned in support of a unit that gets recognized with a ribbon, or some kind of lifesaving event.
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Dec 4, 2012 00:33
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Frankly if you can successfully launch one, get the chute/streamer to open, AND actually recover the loving thing without dodging traffic/angry landowners, you deserve a ribbon.
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Dec 4, 2012 01:27
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Here's a guy I've mentioned, and hold up as proof that the AF evaluation and promotion system is horrifically flawed. HP (for the AWACS people who lurk-and I know one of you, this is not the awesome Canadian HP) is a nice guy. But he's weird, makes odd jokes that are occasionally worth a chuckle, and loving KNOWS how to work the system. He's done well for himself by sitting at a desk and letting people make him look good...and I'm not sure why he's willing to do that at home station because while deployed he fucks everything up because he can't stop trying to help. We were deployed to the desert. He was one of the sensor guys on the crew (AWACS), who actually deals with hardware and software startup and operation. A very checklist-oriented job, as one misstep can end a mission immediately, and possibly cause damage to the radar (and an AWACS without a radar just becomes the world's worst airliner). There are a lot of items aircrew are required to carry on a flight...in addition to the checklists/other documents, you need the flight jacket, reflective belt, headset, flashlight, nomex gloves, glasses if you wear them, etc. We lump it all together as "progear" and it is required by regulations. Well, HP had his progear in a locker and lost the key. Now there were people he could have borrowed from, no questions asked...it's really not a big deal. There are at least 6 other people with identical checklists, and two of them work in that building every day. But he decided to hide it. He went to life support and checked out a spare headset and stepped to the jet. During takeoff gloves are required (gay). It was noticed that he wasn't wearing his, but sometimes more senior crewmembers will do it and nobody will call them out. But when he started doing the radar power-up/set-up without his checklist, that's a huge problem. It's reported to the boss on the jet, at which point the plot is discovered, and he spends the remainder of the next 13+ hours in the back of the jet doing nothing (there was a mission planner on board qualified to do the job, fortunately). Kind of a long story, sorry. But the end result is that because he displayed grossly poor judgement, a lack of aircrew discipline, and violated like 4 AFIs, the commander pulled his qualification. After a few weeks and completing a training plan, he got his qual back. Fast forward a year. We're back home, and it's time for HP's annual checkride. Which he fails. Which he was guaranteed to fail from the beginning, and if his evaluator had been more proactive, he would have failed before they even stepped to the jet. See, HP had an assignment at Tinker, then somewhere else, then back to Tinker. All of his checklists and aircrew aids were last updated on his PREVIOUS tour at Tinker. He'd been there for two years and never updated it (updates are released several times per year), nor did he backtrack for the time he was gone. BAM. Loses his qual, rinse, repeat. A few months later, we deploy again, this time to not-desert. We're both captains, but he's 2 years my senior and runs the deployment shop back home...something like 25 people, and his office is staffed with GOOD folks that keep the operation moving because he doesn't interject himself. By now squadron leadership has realized he's a moron, and now he works for me in the mission planning cell. He and I are the only ABMs (ie, the only mission-people in there), so I take on all the actual planning, and tell him to build the office schedule, figuring out when we swap with our crew-equivalents so we keep our currency, etc. He fucks it up beyond belief. We get tasked to build a different type of mission profile that involves foreign countries so it's more complicated...I let him run with it while I do my own version. We use mine. Some E-2 are operating in the area, so since he's the sensor/datalink operator, I put him in charge of setting up some datalink work (L16 specifically, which is a loving piece of cake). In 3 weeks, he fails to get a single good link. I could've taken that away from him too, but I wanted him to have at least one failure to show for his efforts. We later got tasked to build an over-the-top worst-case deployment scenario for HHQ...he kept trying to nose in, but there wasn't a chance in hell. He couldn't be trusted with anything more important than listening to the SATCOMs and taking notes for maintenance (that environment is hell on aircraft). During this deployment, HP got the good news...the wing commander gave him a Definite Promote to major, basically guaranteeing him a promotion on his first look. How the gently caress does a guy who lost his primary duty qualification TWICE in a year get a DP? Simple: that doesn't show up on the OPR (performance report). He looks AMAZING on paper. He will probably be an O-5 in a couple of years, but probably no higher than Director of Operations in a sq, where he'll demonstrate his incompetence and end his career, and probably ruin a squadron in the process. Edit: These things may not sound like a big deal, but I'll put it this way: in seven years of flying, I only know two people who had a commander pull their qual, SC and HP. In any given year, maybe 2 non-training people would fail a checkride. HP did this too, on the next one after his qual was pulled the first time. Two of the rarest things to occur in a line squadron, and he pulled them both.
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Dec 4, 2012 18:25
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Vas invaded Syria. He really is the best mod.
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Dec 4, 2012 18:43
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The problem was definitely at the wing...the squadron was well aware of this guy's special abilities. He made a name for himself as the RA for a while before all this too...this is why I got the cell chief job instead of him. He also got a sweet USAFE gig after only 2 years back at Tinker. That's right! I think he got his assignment in the next cycle after that deployment.
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Dec 5, 2012 03:32
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Why do they bury their rifles?
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Dec 5, 2012 22:54
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SentSix posted:"Do you have any idea the depth of poo poo you are in?!" This is a fantastic line. And yeah the UAE guys I worked with were completely chill and professional, with the exception of one colonel who got grounded in a major exercise by the British air boss for repeatedly cheating. Edit: V So he'd fit in with AF finance. Godholio fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Dec 7, 2012 |
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Dec 6, 2012 15:42
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AIDS CURES FAGGOTS posted:My whole job was not to do anything on scope ECO.txt
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Dec 7, 2012 04:22
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smertrioslol posted:Cool, thanks for the info. The air force has a similar scheme with their enlisted promotions. I don't think we have a cool word for it like you guys do. I think we just call them bitches. Frocking? No, that's technically a thing in the AF, but it's almost never used. The only time I've seen it firsthand was when we had a 4-star roll through the deployed base, so they had him officiate a mass promotion ceremony for anyone who was going to pin on while there. A bunch of folks got frocked, so they got to wear the rank but not get paid for it.
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Dec 18, 2012 21:20
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If he left sensitive equipment under the truck and left it there, he obviously lost custody of it. The fact that it was recovered doesn't remove his lapse.
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Dec 24, 2012 06:03
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TheUnhorse posted:I've read the forums over at officer.com for a while, it's a police forum just by the by, but alot of guys over the years have had stories about officers, like especially O-5+ doing stupid stupid poo poo re: traffic and gates. I read one story about a colonel who for some reason had red and blue lights on his .gov ride, but he wasn't even like the provost marshal or anything, I think he was just the base commander or whatever the AF calls them. Apparently that dipshit would pull people over and yell at them and then drive away. What the gently caress is with that poo poo? He actually can pull people over.
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Dec 26, 2012 21:19
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iyaayas01 posted:And the Mx4 is actually not a terrible idea...I didn't realize Beretta was making those. Although the one thing my uneducated rear end sees as a possible problem is the design doesn't really lend itself to a collapsible stock or any other quick/easy way to adjust length of pull (yeah, there's the spacers on the butt but that's something that requires a screwdriver and can't just be done on the fly, and it also doesn't really change all that much). No idea if/how much of a problem that would be, though. They've been out for almost a decade or so, I think. I rented one back in 2006 or so and it was shockingly fun. Almost no recoil (not terribly surprising) it was very comfortable to shoot, and it was accurate as hell. It wouldn't be hard to redesign it for an adjustable stock. The whole thing is molded plastic, retooling wouldn't be as terrible as if it were steel or something. I like my Beretta 96, gently caress the haters but the 1911 is my favorite Edit: Actually, I helped a couple of people qualify by taking them shooting a few days before they had to qual. The 96 is identical to the M9 frame-wise.
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Dec 27, 2012 08:42
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I think I like spit-roasted better than fingercuffed.
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Jan 6, 2013 05:58
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That's a pretty hosed up way to get your 72 virgins...sacrificing yourself by joining the ANA to make the other side look good.
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Jan 6, 2013 07:53
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Was everyone on that boat an O-1?
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Jan 29, 2013 20:16
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Vasudus posted:To a degree it's more frowned upon when you're still in the service more than anything. My boss has memorabilia from Korea -> present, including patches, pins, berets and coins from a variety of SF commands from all branches that were given to him over the years. Nobody ever confused him for being anything that he wasn't, but that's because my office is literally 100% veterans. There's also a pretty clear difference between a collection like that and this guy mounting a SEAL badge over his desk.
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Feb 1, 2013 00:20
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The only thing I've posted on fb that's AF-related in weeks was that email from the new Chief, prefaced with several "Fw:" and some cliche read and heed poo poo. If it's not ridiculous, it's not worth posting.
Godholio fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Feb 1, 2013 |
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Feb 1, 2013 04:24
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iceslice posted:I've seen once where a command was too afraid to let their soldiers have the equipment for fear of losing it. "That trailer full of the latest and greatest equipment? Yeah its going to sit there getting inventoried every month. We wouldn't want anyone to lose any of it. And be ready to drop 2 or 3 guys a week to guard duty for it." Apparently "combat loss" isn't a buzzword used any more (not that I would know). There was a program to replace all the 70s-vintage seats on the AWACS around 2005 or so. The company that got the contract was apparently so small it took them several years to produce enough for the whole fleet, but they delivered the seats in regular batches. So naturally they were all stored in a warehouse across the flightline until they were all delivered, then about two years later a program was started to actually install them. Which took as long as production had taken.
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Feb 2, 2013 17:26
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Imagine if one of the bottles wasn't quite sealed up.
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Feb 3, 2013 19:01
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It's "Warrior Airmen" dipshits.
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Feb 6, 2013 02:34
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The AF as a separate service, obviously. But the Army had flyers 2 years before the Navy. Also the Navy is dumb and calls them aviators (why is a female pilot in the Navy not called an aviatrix?) and something about shoes.
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Feb 6, 2013 06:36
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Yeah nobody else can keep track of all those names. If I'm ever in the situation where I need to address one I'll just call him shipmate or popeye or something.
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Feb 6, 2013 06:48
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Doesn't the Army have some kind of ADC equivalent? WTF.
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Feb 7, 2013 18:01
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That is the opposite of what this thread is for (unless you mean the policy).
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Feb 15, 2013 22:29
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genderstomper58 posted:According to AFN commercials, mil members actually have more rights If you believe that, you've been fleeced.
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Mar 7, 2013 21:40
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That must've been either an AWO with Weapons School aspirations or an AST that narced. What the gently caress. The only thing I've seen like that was when someone managed to get a picture with a mirc computer in the background. Fortunately his camera was so lovely the investigation determined there was no risk of disclosure. 
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Mar 9, 2013 17:24
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Ugh, just throw another grenade in the middle.
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Mar 23, 2013 04:44
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Human trafficking ITT
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Mar 27, 2013 19:47
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Snowdens Secret posted:Gas piston vs direct impingement is probably the big thing, means it gets gunked up a lot less Bore snakes take care of that a lot faster and easier than loving patches. After a few months of regular shooting it pays for itself.
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Apr 30, 2013 15:42
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So this one time, about a year after I got out, a bunch of idiots tried to ruin the idiot thread by posting about an idiot goon posting on the goon website.
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May 2, 2013 18:45
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Mortal Combat!
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May 5, 2013 05:17
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dougdrums posted:man i've gone so long without an av . . . but this is probably the best i could hope for Agreed. Excellent purchase, whoever it was.
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May 5, 2013 17:36
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Veins McGee posted:I don't recall bringing the Marine Corps into this and I think their stringent 'no utilities off base' thing is silly and a pain in the rear end. That being said, when one is appearing on national TV, representing their service, maybe they should dress up a little bit more than what you wear on a daily basis. I know the decision almost certainly wasn't his so it was probably his retard command, imagine that in the AF. "Hmm we can have some guy look like a slob in this zippered cloth bag or he could wear just about anything else" Who regularly calls them cammies? I associate that, along with "salty," with Marines. Everyone else says "You need to wash your nasty-rear end uniform." Captain Amerikkka posted:I'd love to agree with this but I can't loving stand people wearing their uniform off post still to this day. The ghetto mall and the nice mall here are overrun with douchebags in their uniforms. It's embarrassing. If you're going to trawl Hot Topic for 15 year olds at least go home and change first. I'm behind this, but I regularly stopped off at the store that was just off base instead of driving 15 minutes home, changing, and driving back, or changing loving clothes. That said, I see a difference between hitting a gas station/grocery store (not for the weekly shopping) and cruising the mall or going to a sporting event. Godholio fucked around with this message at 16:20 on May 10, 2013 |
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May 10, 2013 16:17
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I worked with Lt Col Randall (ret). http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57584015/succeeding-as-civilians/?pageNum=3
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May 13, 2013 04:15
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Captain Amerikkka posted:Uh do you seriously wrack up that many injuries from landing planes? How many times did she crash? Doubtful. There's a major that was still on active duty (last I heard, anyway) with over 10,000 hours on the E-3. Aside from being old as gently caress, he didn't seem to have nearly the health problems that she (legitimately) has. I don't see how they're tied to landings. And yes, she was that size while active. Girl filled out a flight suit, that's for sure.
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May 13, 2013 04:55
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I've had my share of landings where we bounced, but still...it's not that physically intense.
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May 13, 2013 05:58
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