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I was the idiot. Absolute last day in Iraq, the only loving responsibility was to show up for accountability formations twice a day, and I missed the morning one because I was watching college football in the DFAC. Then that afternoon, while I was pulling "CQ" by sitting in a metal folding chair at the gate to the transient tents, I missed the last goddamn accountability formation of our deployment because I was taking a poo poo. My punishment for that was "Oh, you don't know when movement is? Have fun standing outside with your bags packed until we leave". That was a fun day.
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Dec 4, 2012 16:48
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| # ¿ May 8, 2024 02:48 |
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This just happened about an hour ago. I'm a contractor supporting an advisory team in Afghanistan right now. The ANA unit they advise asked for a Harris radio so they can talk to our TOC when they're on patrol. This is a pretty big gently caress-no because they're hugely sensitive items. Of course these are all 1LTs advising ANA COLs and poo poo, so they can't exactly say "gently caress no", so they say "The radios come as part of the M-ATVs", thinking that will kill it. Of course it doesn't, this goddamn retard Afgahn COL says "Oh... can we have a M-ATV then?" A couple weeks ago they were at the range teaching ANA how to use the 249, and one of these idiots NDd it until it STARTED COOKING OFF. Seriously, he held the trigger so long ON ACCIDENT that it finished the chain on its own. The guys on "our side" are so loving inept I'm almost more afraid of them than I am of the people actually shooting at us.
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Jan 6, 2013 06:29
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They may really just be crazy geniuses. It's staggering how every single decision they make is not only the wrong one, but by far the worst possible choice. It's seriously Always Sunny levels of decision making. Like that time our LZ was only cleared for night flights and a bunch of them slept on the pad. Or the time they threw a clearly rabid dog over the HESCOs onto our side of the base.
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Jan 6, 2013 07:43
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Not that many during the summer, those barrels will get hot enough in the sun to burn the poo poo out of your hand. The way they told me the story, they were giving the range brief, dude started popping them off, by the time they got to the truck and pulled him off the 249 was doing its own thing.
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Jan 6, 2013 08:15
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You're probably right but I like it my way better 
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Jan 6, 2013 08:38
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I had to archives search but yeah, we were, I forgot about that. Who was Peaches and Cream? I can't remember his name, he did some really special things. Hopefully not you, I'd feel like a dick. But really I'd say him and Schrader would be relatively smart ANA soldiers.
Pudgygiant fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Jan 10, 2013 |
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Jan 10, 2013 05:25
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And a Green Beans within 100 yards
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Jan 11, 2013 01:36
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The LT here just spent half an hour at the HLZ talking poo poo about the MPs that run this base while we were waiting for a ride back and promptly called for a HE instead of lume fire mission upon returning to the TOC. Luckily somebody caught his fuckup. I love NG 
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Mar 28, 2013 23:16
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We're on 100% lobster rations until the next food truck comes in, because the DFAC manager doesn't like lobster so she saves it for last. God I love Afghanistan.
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Apr 19, 2013 06:32
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Derek Dominoe posted:I was amazed at how many people actually ate that. Desert fever must hit people especially hard if they were willing to eat putrid shellfish in a landlocked third world country. Yeah, I'm a huge seafood eater but the only way I'll eat lobster out here is overcooked to poo poo (aka lobster a la DFAC) or grilled, if I did the grilling.
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Apr 19, 2013 16:30
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Vasudus posted:Less regular chat more topical chat about idiots por favor. Am I allowed to do both by saying I was the idiot that used the on-post gas station because for some reason they were the only pumps that would let me overdraw my deadbeat rear end's debit card for a full tank of gas when I was a private?
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May 10, 2013 23:17
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In that vein, one of our local laborers got buried the other day (he's fine aside from a scare) by trash from the ghetto dump jingle truck. Aside, this truck is so loving ghetto they raise the bed with a combination of jacks and a winch system at the trash pit, and it's held on at the back with ratchet straps. So apparently as the bed is going up this guy gets the bright idea to start pulling trash out of the back with a shovel, and got buried under a few days worth of trash. I really wish they weren't so anal about pictures on the HLZ, because so many amazing things happen at the burn/trash pit. Half-empty fuel blivets, spent Optima batteries, and a huge cache of confiscated marijuana are some of the things I've seen getting burned. edit One more quick one about the trash truck guys. They have a tendency to back the truck up into the most important thing they possibly could. This has included our raid tower and multiple guide wires for it, the mast with our WAN link, probably every perimeter tower, and somefuckinghow they domino'd over a bunker. The tension on our raid tower guide wires is such that it's a 2-man ratchet, so the only explanation for this is the driver felt the resistance, said to himself "gently caress it, probably nothing important", and gunned it. Pudgygiant fucked around with this message at 11:25 on May 15, 2013 |
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May 15, 2013 11:17
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We had a guy that everybody thought was an idiot, drat did he prove us wrong. Dude went through a 12 and a 15 month deployment and didn't spend a goddamn dime. Didn't ever go out when we were home, split internet with like 4 other dudes in the barracks, basically saved a poo poo ton of money. All through that 15 monther we asked him what the gently caress he's so determined to save for, keeps saying he's going to buy a Bentley, he's going to buy a Bentley. And goddamn it if he didn't have enough when we got home to buy a used Continental GT, pretty much straight cash. I guess he's an idiot for not realizing he'd be paying maintenance on a $200k car, but still, he wins at life.
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Oct 25, 2013 05:31
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PLANES CURE TOWERS posted:Yeah, it's like when people win the lottery and buy million dollar homes. Any word on how much he got the bentley for? pkells posted:Was this in SC? Because earlier in the year I saw a younger dude driving a Continental GT on Shaw AFB, and I just couldn't make any sense of it. It was in '09, I couldn't tell you. Wouldn't surprise me though, he was one of the training room guys so it'd make sense for him to be TRADOC now.
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Oct 27, 2013 02:35
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I don't get the hate for Petraeus, we'd have all gone for it. And unless Fiasco / The Gamble were propaganda pieces he's actually a ridiculously smart dude that got shafted and handcuffed by even higher leadership.
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Nov 5, 2013 01:59
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Our basic platoon had an understanding that if one of the late shift fire watch is in the bathroom, don't go in.
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Dec 28, 2013 19:41
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Saw this on my Facebook feed today, this guy is a pretty huge idiot. http://guardianofvalor.com/michael-lattea-founder-ruck-warriors-lies-service-commits-fraud/ tldr, ex-military guy with a history of fraud, theft, and bad credit lies about his service record to people with actual military connections to bolster the image of his "charity". Hilarity ensues.
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Dec 29, 2013 18:12
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Goddamn, Facebook has been full of gems lately.quote:Please let me know. Who complains o f my wife s being green card wife. Whoever u r tht is what we both. Wish. So. Message me with me with. Ur BS. You are a stupid, horrifically out of shape, junior enlisted, she's a gorgeous eastern European who married you a week before your tour in Germany ended. Yeah bud, I'm sure it's legitimate.
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Jan 1, 2014 03:42
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The Polish still use PGA for something on their birds, I'm not sure what but they'd always present me with canteens of "chopper juice" whenever there was a celebration. It's basically the same as drinking hot sauce.
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Jan 6, 2014 10:26
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Was he, by any chance, a washed-out corrections guy? I went to basic with an Anderson that I totally could see doing all that.
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Feb 11, 2014 17:37
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