Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

What is it with these weird board games based on things like having a vacation with your family or visiting theme parks with your family? They always make me think of a really depressed household that's too boring to do fun things, so they pretend they're doing fun things instead.

Wouldn't you rather have your kids pretend to be ruthless capitalists or conquer Eurasia instead of mundane crap you could be doing ala driving to see The World's Biggest Ball of Twine?

Jedit posted:

The other egregious example of cherry-picking was that Sarkeesian spends over 20 minutes ragging almost exclusively on Nintendo for their lack of female protagonists, and never once mentions that Nintendo were in fact the first game company to release a major game with a female protagonist - namely, Metroid.

Dieting Hippo posted:

Now, if you want to talk about a strong female lead being neutered (spayed?) out of their games, look at Samus. Every Metroid game, every one had her as an independent protagonist that was strong and didn't rely on a male protagonist to reach the goal.

Not to poo poo the thread up with this, but Samus isn't a positive for Nintendo here. At all. She's a faceless suit of armor any time she's doing something of note (or to quote a 90s review, "the Transformer-like suit she wears could just as easily contain a large centipede; it's hardly a breakthrough for feminism"), and is only distinctly female when the player's being congratulated for success or punished for failure. Sarkeesian's actually going to go into that.

"From Samus to Lara" interview posted:

I will be talking extensively about the Metroid franchise in my upcoming video series and specifically addressing the use of Samus Aran's body as a reward for players as a prime example of the "Women as Reward" trope.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2013 01:41

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 19:24

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

MjolnirMan posted:

Wait, though - so it's bad that you play her in a big bulky suit because it defeminizes her and she might as well be a centipede,

That in and of itself isn't a bad thing. It just means she isn't a Strong Female Character because she isn't a character, she's a scantily clad mascot for the player's actual avatar (the armor) during moments of success or failure. In games like Prime, where she's never flaunted whatsoever, there's no sexism, and that's fine, but you can't call it some triumph for feminism because her being female is irrelevant and barely shown. I don't mind her being a female Doomguy, and I wish she was more often, but that's not a feminist thing, that's a neutral thing.

MjolnirMan posted:

but in Zero Mission and Smash Bros., where you play her without said suit (and not in a "reward" capacity but as a player character with powerful skills, weapons, abilities, etc.), she's a "gently caress toy" because she's wearing something less revealing than people wear jogging?

I want to know where you live that people jog in poo poo more revealing than this. :stare:

Death Panel Czar has a new favorite as of 03:05 on Mar 12, 2013

# ¿ Mar 12, 2013 03:03

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

Jalumibnkrayal posted:

I just don't understand why ER doctors are denying her treatment for metal poisoning. This doesn't add up.

Yeah there's a federal law against declining to treat people with lethal amounts of Ouyaium 356 in their gizzard, so it's safe to assume everything describing the medical issue is complete bullshit. It reads like it she thinks Iron Man 2's digital spooky-metal blood cooties are a real thing.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2013 00:50

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

Noyemi K posted:

They can't make a cool thousand after a month at their day job?! Like, all of them put together?

Come on, you know Mike Mindpilot ain't employed.

I'm much more bothered by their description.

quote:

We've gone through many changes over the years. lost several members, but are still writing music. We drudge up sounds of the 60s and meld it with our own flair. We can be loud. but also gentle. Our sound is quite dynamic. We are constantly changing, to avoid becoming a moldy and moth-eaten band.

Everything is wrong with this. Why did several members leave? Did Mike melt their brains? Why is the creative process described with a word that means soul-crushing labor, and looks like a typo for scraping the bottoms of rivers? Which 60s music did they free from the sediment? What does the music actually sound like? Why is it a mold risk?

# ¿ Apr 8, 2013 18:38

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

BoutrosBoutros posted:

Oh ok, that's pretty reasonable, but it's hard to say without seeing the actual internals. This scooter is significantly narrower than a normal one, so it's quite possible the void in the middle actually has poo poo in it. Off the top of my head I might guess that's where the gas tank is. It's normally right beneath the seat, but that might be too tight a fit in this case.

The BOXX's frame looked like this:

You couldn't trim anything from the middle, but there was enough room to jam another generic Vespa battery under the seat and still trim a large amount of the case down in the front and back. The ZEIT looks identical except for likely using a more orthogonal frame to allow the hollow portion in the middle to double as a storage area.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

I actually thought the BOXX looked kind of cool. Certainly sturdier than the ZeitEco, which understandably has them saying "Not a Toy!" because it looks exactly like one. It looks like the kind of lovely toy "cyberbikes" you might have gotten with a GI Joe in 1989 or something.

I don't really get a "toy" vibe from it. The recycled child's tricycle fork and stem hint at it, but the comically functionless rear mudguard, coated particleboard siding, lack of any ergonomic shaping of the seat, and clusterfuck on the rear wheel all make me think of the Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust. This should have been thrown together in a montage set to the A-Team theme, while old people joked about support for docking up to 17 iPhones and hating the environment.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2013 21:28

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

Babe Magnet posted:

Hm yes how does not having something pressing up against your surgery wounds help at all a conundrum indeed.

He asked the wrong question, but he's on the right track about that load of shitthatdidnthappen.txt.

The scarring for even a non-radical mastectomy is larger than the size of the breasts as protrusions from the torso. There's a whole lot of tissue near the armpit that is removed as well (I have no idea if this counts as NSFW but it's a diagram of a boob so yeah), and it hurts like hell afterwards. Generally people are recommended to sleep on their back afterwards due to the pain just laying on the side can cause.

I showed this to someone who's had far less disfiguring breast surgery and their reaction was a variant of "oh hell no".

# ¿ Apr 23, 2013 04:57

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

Sappo569 posted:

Why is everyone so fixated on the average basement dwelling goon needing this?

It was obviously created for and is being marketed towards cops, security, etc.

It might have something to do with the tagline "Evade Unlawful Handcuff Restraint", which reads like a way to say "evade unlawful arrest" without mentioning arrest specifically. Or that picture full of geardo magazines/blogs as opposed to actual industry sites. Or the fact that those sites report on it very explicitly stating they are for evading arrest.

http://www.gadgetreview.com/2013/08/tihk-key.html posted:

Getting arrested isn�t fun, obviously. But what if you�re unlawfully handcuffed for no good reason? Most likely, you won�t do anything if you�re illegally restrained with handcuffs, fearing punishment if you fight or question the law.

More versatile or outright better products already exist. No law enforcement officer is buying new and different backup keys on the internet because they read about one in Tacticool Freeman Monthly and realized they needed an "unlawful restraint solution". At least out here they aren't, maybe wherever you live the cops get handcuffed all the time and read about "Trucks, Guns, and Girls!" or Nerf guns while eating canned bacon.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2013 03:35

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 19:24

Death Panel Czar: Apr 1, 2012; Too dangerous for a full sensory injection... That level of shitposting means they're almost non-human!

Noyemi K posted:

Wheel that use gravity to move forward

What happened to common decency? You pretend to break thermodynamics, you do it with an elaborate contraption of spinning magnets and tesla coils or a fluidic circuit or something that at least looks nifty enough to distract from what a waste of time it is. Not a tire full of pistons. Perpetual motion devices need panache, goddamnit.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2014 07:23

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?