Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Sono posted:

For only $25, you can receive a self-published ebook done through a vanity publisher with three "this is a scam" warnings on the first page of Google results for their company name. I wonder if the ability to use capital letters in your book is one of their "premium" services.

I like how they've only been funded $6.66.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2013 05:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 10:18

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Someone paid $10,000 to have a speaking role in the movie and say exactly three words: "Your cheque, sir." There's no guarantee that the line or even the scene will make the final cut.

Hollywood is full of stories of how someone got their first break in some bit part and went on to become a super star. The entire idea that all you need is that foot in the door to make it big fuels practically their entire industry. They could have doubled it and had someone pick it up.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2013 18:28

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Hyzenth1ay posted:

*SOURCES! SCIENTIFIC STUDIES! http://www.amazon.com/Unlocking-Clubhouse-Computing-Jane-Margolis/dp/0262632691 A study that follows female compsci majors at CMU through five years and it's pretty drat good

I'm glad you posted this, I went and bought it.

We covered this topic for like 30 minutes in user interface design in college as part of the comp sci curriculum and it's a shame. I think it relates to the topic tangentially as many kickstarters are awful because their presentation is either to the wrong audience, to no audience, or just terrible.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2013 05:14

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

sgbyou posted:

Completely unexpected and shocking news!

Sadly nobody has any idea to whom the property went to.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2013 12:20

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Jefferoo posted:

Activision announces Homeworld 3 Season Pass DLC!

If that happened I think I would die a little inside.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2013 21:20

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

psychoticBacofoil posted:

Also last I checked, super lame homosexual jokes are on a lot of television shows.

Yes, but do they have a gym theme to them?

Oh, wait, they made those jokes every other week on "Will and Grace" back in the 90s.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2013 00:43

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

death .cab for qt posted:

That would actually be pretty dang cool to use if it weren't a plastic wrist band that looks like a glow stick. Guess I'll have to stick for the dozens of other bluetooth enabled wristbands that inform me of phone stuff

It looks like they're going to breeze past their funding goal, maybe they'll eventually get enough money to hire someone with design skills to make it a more palatable product. Honestly I like the idea but something smaller and more discrete would be better in my opinion.

# ¿ May 1, 2013 13:10

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Drunk Tomato posted:

Aren't the PA guys super rich by now? Why do they need a kickstarter?

You get rich by being good at spending your money or someone else's money preferably.

# ¿ May 8, 2013 20:02

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Reach for your Fusion Wallet!

The fusion wallet actually doesn't look that terrible to me but then I have terrible taste. I'd probably buy one of them if I was young and had less sense than money.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2013 19:04

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

repiv posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFN4k-AFEbw

Canonical wants $32,000,000 in 31 days to make an Ubuntu smartphone.

Good luck with that!

They certainly aren't going half-assed, are they? Has any group raised even remotely that much? I know Pebble raised $10 million on kickstarter.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2013 17:14

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

deadly_pudding posted:

I'll be amazed if they get their 32 megabux, but I would totally use an Ubuntu smartphone if it doesn't suck.

You can if you fork over $600 (today only).

DoctorTristan posted:

Is that even remotely enough money to bring a brand-new phone to market?

Probably not ... but the campaign seems to allude to them already having it designed.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2013 17:24

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

J.A.B.C. posted:

I can see what he's doing here.

I don't know the name of it, but there's a (I presume) free piece of 3d model editing software out there that gets used to make really crappy comics and bad XBLive Indie games. But since everyone has seen that crap before, he puts the finished image through photoshop smudge filters to try to give it the illusion of being created with talent.

It just makes it look like hot garbage instead of regular garbage, though.

It's poser. He's doing everything in poser and then smudging the hell out of it to turn it into 'art'.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 12:30

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Alan Smithee posted:

Then again if he were smart he'd make good movies

I thought the point was he was so smart he knows that because of a German government loophole he can make lovely movies and he and his investors can massively profit off them?

# ¿ Aug 30, 2013 14:48

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

SoundMonkey posted:

gently caress I'm strongly considering kicking in $25 tomorrow even though I'm relatively broke.

EDIT: Hell with it, just did. $105 funded woooo.

Considering all of the other crap I've backed, I had to go in on this too.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2013 13:11

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

...of SCIENCE! posted:

Another day, another pie-in-the-sky MMORPG pitch.

They do say they've been working on it for three years already. Also, they have realistic support levels (all virtual rewards, nothing physical). The names are all very 'russian' sounding, I assume they're developing it in one of those countries which costs will be down.

That said, I wouldn't support it because of all of the obvious reasons, in particular none of them have any prior experience in the genre other than liking to play those games.

I do think it's pretty amazing that technology has progressed to the point that people think they can wrestle up an MMO in their garage.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2013 17:16

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Drowning In Terror posted:

It's at 500% now. It's also worth noting that it's almost the exact same product (folding pieces of card with neodymium magnets & LED lights) as the highly successful Scanbox, which was one of the earlier products featured in these threads.

I have this great idea for a ~~collapsible studio~~ ~~diy lightbox~~ origami studio! I think when ~~the heat dies down from this kick starter~~ I've lined up some manufacturers to make it I'll make a kick starter to get the production funded!

# ¿ Nov 26, 2013 22:56

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Am I a bad person for briefly sifting through Ali baba seeing what could be rebranded and dropped shipped for a kick starter or indiegogo campaign?

# ¿ Sep 15, 2014 23:49

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

door Door door posted:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/358468212/the-public-radio-the-single-station-fm-radio A radio. That only has one station. In a mason Jar. People are such loving idiots.

I have two things about this project that I find difficult to comprehend;
1. You don't get a radio until you get to the $45 tier, correct?
2. They're nearly double the goal level already.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2014 16:18

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

DStecks posted:

Yes it's about GG

Now I have to Google who "Pax Dickinson" is ....

# ¿ Nov 29, 2014 17:05

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Cirrial posted:

Did Ron Paul Revolution teach us nothing?!

Considering the kickstarter made double what it was asking and produced poo poo, I think the lesson is, "Leap onto a meme/trend and sell something as soon as possible. Don't worry about having to actually produce something, just get the cash register working!"

# ¿ Jan 8, 2015 17:44

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

boom boom boom posted:

Exploding Kittens has posted stretch goals, and they're based more on social media presence than total amount of money raised.

Those guys are brilliant.

If anyone ever asks, "How do I do a great kickstarter?" I'm just going to point them to this one. It's diabolical in it's design regarding effort vs output. I think the only mistake is they promised to sign copies ... but then they limited that tier to an actual ration number (205 copies).

# ¿ Feb 4, 2015 14:27

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

What, another Minecraft-clone kickstarter you say?

Voxelnauts

Tagline: one universe, infinite worlds, with possibilities limited only by your imagination. Your adventure awaits - come build it

Things going for it:

Sandbox world
Encourages modding from the get-go
Multiple worlds
Angel investors have already put up $1million to get this thing going

Things against it:

Initial video sprinkled with copyrighted assets of pokemon and other entities
Asking only $200k to finish it ...
... in June of 2015.

# ¿ May 20, 2015 03:07

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Germstore posted:

two-stroke gas/oil engine at least

Steely Dan?

# ¿ Jun 26, 2015 18:13

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Yeah and apparently the dildo company was secretly collecting data from their customers and had to pay out $3.75 million in a court settlement when they got found out
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/14/technology/we-vibe-vibrator-lawsuit-spying.html?_r=0

I thought you were going to link the wifi/camera dildo that was hacked.

So, you know how a lot of bot farms are composed of hacked home security cameras? Imagine a bot farm composed of hacked wifi camera dildos ... CNN ddos'd by zombie dildos.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2017 20:16

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

fishmech posted:

What? No, we introduced that like 6 years ago and then just as quickly stopped using it because it wasn't any faster or easier than magstripe and there were (and still are) security concerns. The readers are all still around but most banks don't bother to issue cards using it anymore.

There was tap to pay on cards? I use it on my phone all of the time, never knew you could do it with a card.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 05:23

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Paladinus posted:

Star Citizen is worth every penny of those millions. In how many funny things it produced, of course, the game itself is still a poo poo alpha somehow.

It's an actual game now? I thought it was some elaborate scam like Amway or Cutco.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2017 04:15

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

unpacked robinhood posted:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1831792426/ullothe-wine-purifier

This 80$ diva cup will filter bad molecules out of good wine molecules

Filters out preservatives? What?

# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 13:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 10:18

fondue: Jul 14, 2002

Waffleman_ posted:

Now I know it's not explicitly My Little Pony, but I feel like some of the artwork there is so similar in style and it's so obvious what it's trying to do that Hasbro could step in, right? Like, it's pretty transparent.

I think of you're Hasbro you have to step in with lawyers anyway and assume the people behind the Kickstarter project can't afford them.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2019 19:27

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Awful Kickstarters Vol II: Will these zombies learn to practice safe sex?