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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

CAustin posted:

Just came across this one: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2053509224/new-unique-bottle-for-maw-n-paw-bbq-sauce-go-natio

At first I thought it was stupid. After watching the video it's just goddamn depressing. These people are trying to raise money to create a single product: a plastic bottle shaped like a pig's head. Actually, that's their own description, but it really gives the whole thing too much credit. You might get the idea that this bottle will look like a realistic, detailed pig's head. Strange and grotesque, sure, but probably an interesting knick knack for someone out there.

Finally. A sauce bottle that is shaped so I can't squeeze sauce out of it. I was tired of regularly getting 95% of my product out of its container.

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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Waffleman_ posted:

You have a table, don't you?

Yeah, but I'd need a hat to hold the table in front of me. There are just too many holes in your logic.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

unpacked robinhood posted:

Ever felt like not playing golf because reasons ? This fine old man has the perfect assemblage of pvc pipes for you http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1626277825/the-drutter?ref=recently_launched

"A family of four can now play with only one Drutter." I have never seen this family.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Kaizoku posted:

Wouldn't most golf courses have problems with slingshots in general?

Although I do (conceptually, not monetarily) support this idea, because I see it as the successor to lawn darts as "most dangerous family game."

Yeah, I really only want one so I can terrorize my neighborhood with my new artillery.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Crain posted:

Are we sure it's not just satire?

It clearly is, but he's pretending to be serious since he actually wants the rights.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002


What a total loser. Having $0 with 3 days to go is even better than people paying $1.03 just to leave a mean comment.

I don't need to read "A Giant Pussy's Adventure in Cancun".

The Human Crouton has a new favorite as of 20:35 on Apr 23, 2013

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

What happens in Cancun stays in Cancun.

Stretch goals: enough money to bribe the local police to look the other way while I have sex with 9 year olds.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Zaphod42 posted:

I swear I thought the stuff in parenthesis was something you added, trying to make sense of this insanity. Nope, he actually wrote "Beaver licking a window or something".

:suicide:

And his ex-wife doesn't want him to leave for a week to Cancun? Wouldn't this be the perfect time to change your name and relocate with your daughter?

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Waffleman_ posted:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2009301036/abgo

It's a cell phone sized skateboard that you put on one foot that can only go on perfectly flat surfaces. I don't usually like watching project videos, but I literally had to to understand how this thing worked. And I still don't really get it.

I was thinking about inventing something like this because I walk to a ton of places around my area, and I don't want to risk having a bike or skateboard stolen. But I realized that I'd look like an idiot using this invention, so I dropped the idea. Thanks for proving me right, ABGO.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Cyril Sneer posted:

That Cali Flick dude has got to have mental issues. That site is all kinds of wtf.

I think he's just an idiot. I've worked with people as stupid as him before.

My favorite project is his Price Differ app. The basic idea is to write down the price of every single item in every single store you enter so that you compare them later.

http://www.gregflick.net/iPhone2.htm

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002


That concept art at the bottom is the best. An eye in a game? I'm sold.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

KittyLitter posted:

I found this diamond in the rough when searching my local area Kickstarters...

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you : Hey Momma
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/453828027/custom-concepts?ref=home_location

This chap needs $75,000 to make his dream of printing his lovely self portraits onto shirts for YOU.

There's all kinds of witty things I could do, or say, but I think I'll just let you guys click the link.

His style looks like NES instruction manual art.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Cursed Lumberjack posted:

Alright, I am far from an art expert, but does angel-in-tree.png look like a different artists work to anybody else? The rest all have a similarity between them, but that one just looks way off. Not only that, but I swear the central part of that image is familiar to me. No idea from where, but it just sticks out in my mind as not original. Maybe someone better at tineye than me knows what I'm talking about.

It does look different. I thought the same. And the fact that it's called "Angel in Tree" instead of a dryad(which it actually is), makes me think he just found it somewhere.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Obnoxipus posted:

:nws: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1877286117/beauty-and-the-fat-erotic-plus-size-portraits

Found this one locally, was sucked in by the amazing title. I get what she's going for, but goddamn are those some awful portraits.

The video is also spectacularly bland.

I hate this embracing your fatness poo poo. Does she embrace heart disease and diabetes also?

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Horrible Smutbeast posted:

Apparently that horrid witch Susan Wilson, who pitted her older sons against her 9 year old daughter over the whole "Kickstart her dreams of going into STEM/RPGMAKER summer camp!" found a parody gaming site article about her and flips her poo poo.

http://www.p4rgaming.com/guest-post-all-i-wanted-was-to-go-to-rpg-camp-by-mackenzie-wilson/

It's kind of a fun read to see how absolute batshit she is.

quote:

Why? Because I’m not an idiot and I hate to seeing the younger generation use the technology my generation worked hard to create for evil instead of good.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Randalor posted:

My girlfriend alerted me to this one. Press Start. A 2 player "8-bit tabletop battle" game (which you can expand with every new deck you buy!). What's not to love about it? It has lovely edited Megaman sprites, REALLY lovely 8-bit sprites, a decent number of cards show NES cartridges. Oh, and the rules state you can play attack cards if you have a hero, it seems rather easy to lose your first hero, the combat rules are clunky as hell, and it seems rather easy to kill your opponent's hero, then just attack twice more and win by default.

Also, there's a Cthulhu card. Because why the gently caress not apparently.

What a boring and skilless game.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

I hope Doobie's Dog House makes it.

Only problem I see is that there is no way he can afford a bathroom and a fryer hood on $6000. $6000 would probably not even pay for either one of those individually, unless things are insanely cheap in Reform, Alabama. I think he'll have to drop the hood for now, and sell fries farther on down the road.

Unless we can get him up to $15,000.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Shwqa posted:

I have seen fryer hood go for 1,500 at my local restore (I love my local restore), but that is a really good deal that might not come again.

Yeah, that is a great deal. I feel happy for the guy who needed a hood and stumbled upon that.

But I'm bundling the cost of a fire suppression system, and installation of both the hood and fire suppression system into my estimate for Doobie Dogs pushing $6000.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

If Doobie Dogs makes it, I'm going to suggest an alternative to requesting that your 5 free combos go to the homeless. Considering that we want Doobie Dogs to survive, and open a franchise location near us soon, instead you should request that he hold an event in town(Probably on whichever day that antique mall next store is busy), and use 2 or 3 of your free combos to give out free food. Hopefully, that will get him some return business, and at least make some people aware of DD's existence.

Then have him give the remaining combos to the homeless a few months from now. I know that the homeless are hungry now, but there is no way that he will be able to afford giving out 1000 combo meals in one shot without going bankrupt so soon after he opens. He will need some kind of return return value on your free meals if he is to stay in business. I don't think he was expecting to pay out all of the free combos in one day. That's probably nearly $2000 in food cost to him.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Alan Smithee posted:

Can someone ask him his opinions on minorities? We certainly don't want buyer's remorse when it's too late

Absolutely. It could be a classic bait and switch. We buy into "Doobie's Doghouse", and them BLAM!!! We get "friend of the family Burger".

The Human Crouton has a new favorite as of 16:02 on Sep 25, 2013

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Vadun posted:

Just think. After making this mans dreams come true you can then give every down on his luck entrepreneur in Reform AL a glimpse at doing the same thing, only for their dreams to come crashing down when they don't get Goon rushed

I think that we should agree to fund businesses in Reform only if they are hot dog restaurants. I want Reform to have 50 hot dog restaurants. I want hot dog restaurants to be the only businesses in the entire town.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Depressing Drawers posted:

Have you ever dreamed of owning your own Hot Dog Stand? Need an accurate simulation of this exciting trade on your windows 8 device?

THEN SEARCH NO LONGER MY FRIENDS!!!

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/786263000/hot-dog-stand?ref=search



Give $100 and you get a book of all the artwork. Even if the artwork wasn't as terrible as this picture, you'd just be getting a book full of excellent hot dog drawings.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

It's Rudolph the red-nosed-reindeer only it's been updated to be about race instead of being about race.

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Zybourne Clock posted:

Naturally he wants a slice of that marketing pie, so he's decided to start an advertising firm of his own with a couple of friends. Internet friends. The company isn't located anywhere in the world and only exists online. The campaign goal is a cool half million dollars, and all of his reward tiers are gift cards.

I've met so many people like this guy. "I just found out that X industry exists. It's pretty easy. I should get some of that. The only reason that every other human on Earth hasn't gotten into X is because they aren't as smart as me."

The reward tiers are hilarious because this guy is so dumb that he is actually accidentally trying to run a Ponzi scheme.



Of all things to attempt to animate when one has no skill, they go for a hedgehog? The hubris.

The Human Crouton has a new favorite as of 18:14 on Oct 14, 2013

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

TheJoker138 posted:

How did you guys NOT post this picture from Pink Tail Tip?



How did you not tag it NWS?

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

TheJoker138 posted:

Is this dude drunk in his pitch video?

Yes. It's glorious. It's been a few days now. I don't even think he remembers doing it.

Edit: Also the lowest tier only has 2 t-shirts(of 2) available, while the second lowest tier only has one DVD(of 1) available. Get it while supplies last.

The Human Crouton has a new favorite as of 06:35 on Oct 21, 2013

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The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002

Bad Munki posted:

I've got it: Atari 2600 belt buckles. Not the controllers, I mean an actual Atari 2600.

ORIGINAL IDEA DO NOT STEAL

The controllers are a better idea because of their erectness.

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