Submarine Officer 101: Too fat for SEALS, too socially awkward for Pilot

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Submarine Officer 101: Too fat for SEALS, too socially awkward for Pilot

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

I'm sure it's the same for most boats but we had an elliptical, a bike, a rowing machine, and a set of those adjustable dumbbells. Some people worked out and stayed relatively in shape, and some people got really fat.

All those workout machines got cut into little pieces and tossed overboard because of ORSE and we bought all new ones when we pulled back in from deployment.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2013 16:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:52

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Sacrilage posted:

Operational Reactor Safeguards Exam; a big engineering inspection to make sure Engineering Department is somewhat on the level.

We supercompact our trash into a tiny little canister, and then weigh it down and drop it out the bottom. We can compact about 4-5 trashcans worth of stuff into something the size of a small bucket (3000# hydraulics is good for that). All plastics and recyclables are now required to be kept onboard until we pull into port and they can be recycled.

Was it a thing on your boat for people to poo poo in bags and not say anything so it would get compacted and smear poo poo all over the machine? Cause it was for us. It was like a weekly goddamn thing.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2013 19:26

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Mad Dragon posted:

Gibraltar is loving awesome.

Gibraltar rules. A nuke got his dick pierced there and woke up the next morning with blood everywhere because he got shithammered right after.

Edit: Also he got medically disqualed because somewhere along the way he picked up some HIV.

Fart Sandwiches fucked around with this message at 13:24 on Apr 2, 2013

# ¿ Apr 2, 2013 13:17

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Periscope depth on the outskirts of a tropical storm. It's like being rocked the sleep in your crib/rack.

Although being woken up by sounds of half the ship emptying their stomachs all over the place was unpleasant, but that was some of the best sleep of my life.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2013 13:32

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Baloogan posted:

Do you guys have religious services on board a sub? Is there a chaplain?

On my boat it was just a super Christian officer that would do some Sunday school thing on Sunday mornings. We had a few people try to use it as an excuse to get out of watch and were told to quit crying about Jesus and so their loving job. It was awesome.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2013 01:46

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

nwin posted:

Do people get seasick on subs? I mean, a ship will roll and pitch based on the waves/winds/currents, so that makes sense. But what forces do subs have acting on them that could cause seasickness? Besides the obvious absence of windows and no way to look at the horizon.

Just thinking with the recirculated air if someone yakked it could cause a pretty awesome chain reaction.

I posted earlier about being in some pretty rough seas at periscope depth and we were taking some rough rolls. People were barfing all over the place.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2013 14:22

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

I was the king of cranks and basically an honorary cook. We had some drat fine cooks besides. The best bread I've ever had was the lard type made at night by CS2 *name forgotten to alcohol*. Our guys knew how to make our poo poo sandwich of ingredients work to make decent meals. As a crank I still remember the recipe that needed bacon grease because they ended up cooking several rashers of bacon with the intention of shooting it overboard with the next garbage haul and I ended up eating nearly a pound of the poo poo just so it wouldn't disappear forever.

Best day of my life.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2013 04:16

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

During drills where I wasn't needed I always played the game of I'll get up if someone opens my rack curtain, otherwise, gently caress it. This was helpful during ORSE because coners have gently caress-all to do during 90% of that poo poo.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 15:16

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

For Blue Nose I crawled to the end of a torpedo tube wearing nothing but boxers while I had cold water shot up my rear end with one of those pump and spray bug sprayers.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 16:23

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

We just had bubba burgers. Straight from the freezer and impossible to gently caress up.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 22:58

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Sacrilage posted:

Anyhow, it now requires a CPAP machine, which is a massive pain in the rear end, and regular doctor visits to attempt to undo the damage. Not life altering, but definitely a quality of life issue, now that I am sleeping well again.

Read that as CRAP machine and it's way funnier.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2013 02:38

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Mortabis posted:

but his sleep apnea was due to morbid obesity.

Not out of the question for some submariners.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2013 03:28

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

Well it's not like you had better things to do. Besides, consider it training for a stores load. or something.

Where the gently caress did you put all that lead?

# ¿ Nov 16, 2013 04:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:52

Fart Sandwiches: Apr 4, 2006; i never asked for this

monkeyboy posted:

Heh, frocked to 7 while underway for a northern run, initiated AFTER returning to Norfolk in December. Of course, I was the only one. Besides the months of selectee abuse, they ran me through bluenose 3 times. Goats.

Also: gently caress towed arrays.

Bluenose owns, although 3 times is a bit much.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2013 15:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Submarine Officer 101: Too fat for SEALS, too socially awkward for Pilot