The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Tourism & Travel > The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

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fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Bloodnose posted:

Like Hong Kong!

My dad was on Amtrack in like, Montana or something and someone tried calling him 7 times. He didn't even answer it but since he was roaming each call cost him $1.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2013 10:23

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 12:29

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

MeramJert posted:

I can download stuff from the US at like 1500 kbps

Actually I meant KBps

# ¿ Aug 7, 2013 12:45

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Pro-PRC Laowai posted:

That's...so sad.

It's not that sad consider I was talking about downloading stuff from the US. 1500 KBps works out to almost 12 Mbps, and you only scored 9.54 on your bragging test there.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2013 18:18

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Yeah it depends what his job is. Shenzhen is pricier than most places in China, though. The cheapest apartment you'd probably see a white guy living in would probably run around 2500 a month, but for a corporate dude on the full expat package it's pretty common to be 10-20 thousand per month or more. My old Chinese teacher had a student here renting an apartment for 70,000 rmb per month lol

# ¿ Aug 8, 2013 15:19

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I've cooked some american chinese food for my girlfriend before without telling her what it was. She basically just considered it chinese food that she hadn't seen before and liked it, although when I told her it was american chinese food it suddenly made more sense.

e: I like Guangzhou, what do you mean there's nothing to see? Are you talking only about world famous landmarks and tourist attractions?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 02:36

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Bloodnose posted:

Short answer: yes, you will be totally fine.

Long answer: what is your gender, race, nationality and age?

Other answer: My place is open to goons again since I broke up with the girlfriend who objected to me letting random strangers sleep in my house (good riddance, right?). PM me with details if you're interested (goes for everyone).

Details about your ex?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 05:57

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Donraj posted:

So, I appear to have lost my TEFL in China certificate when I was moving from Shenzhen. I still have scans of it, including the certificate number, but CTLC tells me there's no chance of getting the hard copy replaced. I'm going back to the US to get my master's now, but if I ever come back to ESL work is that likely to cause me any problems?

Didn't you just start a new job in Harbin or something?

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 11:20

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Woodsy Owl posted:

All the bizarre-rear end software usually comes installed with their computers. Most installs of GhostXP, the pirated versions of Windows, include pirated Office and all those random apps. I don't think normal users even know how to remove the software or really care at all.

Not all of it. One of my coworkers goes around actively installing all that crap on computers.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 16:39

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

BadAstronaut posted:

Anyone use a Pivos Xios or similar media centre/streaming device? What sort of streaming is available in China on these set to devices? Or is everything just done primarily with torrents?

I have to use a Roku box and some other things like that at work. We do it on a 12 Mbps China Telecom connection and it sucks. Completely unusable without a VPN router, and even with one it's crap.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2013 12:45

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Haha, I wonder how they're determining the price of "local cheese" in Zhuhai

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 10:31

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Pro-PRC Laowai posted:

Lookin' over it... take it with a grain of salt. As it's an expat site, and most expats are bubble-living fucktards, those are the insane prices they pay. Food is far cheaper in reality.

Here's the prices as monitored today:
http://www.shjjcd.gov.cn/jgjc/jgsj/userobject1ai1150.jsp
code:
Location: Jing'an District
Unit: 500g

Bok choy:         2.80
Sprouts:          5.00
Cabbage (round):  1.00
Celery:           3.00
Spinach:          8.00
Cucumber:         2.50
Tomato:           3.30
Green Pepper:     3.50
Potato:           2.20
Eggplant:         2.50
Winter Melon:     1.00
Jackbeans:        1.50

Pork - Lean:           15.00
Pork - Ribs:           23.00
Eggs:                  5.00
Bighead Carp (1500g):  9.00
Carp (350g):           10.00
Average prices for Shanghai here: http://www.shjjcd.gov.cn/www/more/

Domestic milk should be around 7.7~8 per liter
Imported around 10
Beef around 25~27 per 500g

More prices for Shanghai here: http://www.zhujiage.com.cn/special/shanghai.html

wtf is "Winter Melon"? Just sell me crusty bread, cheese, and tbone steaks please.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 13:36

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Pro-PRC Laowai posted:

冬瓜, surely you have eaten 冬瓜.

Yeah of course, I knew what you meant I was just trying to say that the list of food you just posted is a list of food Chinese people eat. The list on those expat websites is a list of food White people eat; they're not really that comparable.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 14:42

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Yeah my dietary habits are completely different than they were when I moved here. But I have coworkers that basically refuse to eat Chinese food and it really is expensive.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 15:59

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

"Bones are gross, except in chicken wings and baby back ribs"
"Ugh, what's that?"
"This looks a bit... strange, doesn't it?"
etc

I've seen white guys in my office eat 3 hour old, cold McDonald's food because (and this is a direct quote) "anything's better than more Chinese food."

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 16:07

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

They probably won't check anything

# ¿ Aug 14, 2013 16:39

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Central ought to do it

# ¿ Aug 15, 2013 08:34

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I can easily buy limes in Shenzhen :smugdog:

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 08:49

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

caberham posted:

Everyone likes to complain about the typical bad Chinese service in restaurants, but you should give this place a try

海底撈（hai di lao)

https://www.haidilao.com

It's Hunan style spicy hot pot with exemplary service. Staff is very detailed orientated, respond with please, thank you, heck they were better than some servers in America

Bad Astronaut, keep us updated when you are in Shanghai. Good and bad things. Someone needs to write a Shanghai Goon city guide.

Yeah I've eaten there. It's good and they even do delivery.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2013 11:27

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Another fun time in the office elevator. A little info about the elevator: you can only deselect floors if the elevator is stopped and the doors are open. As soon as it's moving, you're stuck with the selected floors until it stops again. So I got on at floor -1 and was going up to 6. Some woman got on at 1 and was going up to 8 and we're the only 2 people in the elevator. After the doors closed on 1 and it started moving up, she spent the entire shared elevator journey trying to deselect my floor 6, I guess so she could get to floor 8 faster? I knew I was safe though, since the elevator was already en route.

e: hmm, meant to post this in the other thread.

fart simpson fucked around with this message at 10:02 on Aug 20, 2013

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 09:34

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

BadAstronaut posted:

Any of you got any comment on flying Hong Kong airlines or Cathay Pacific? They good?

I've flown Cathay many times and Hong Kong Airlines once. Unless Hong Kong Airlines is a lot cheaper and you're personally paying, go with Cathay.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 10:03

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

You can ignore everything caberham just said and purchase the Cathay ticket. Don't even begin to have second thoughts and compromise comfort (and safety, I guess) on a long plane trip like this over �40.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 10:39

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Also Cathay is more comfortable and has better food

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 10:45

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I passed out in the middle of a 15 hour flight on Cathay once and all the attendants were nice and gave me a pillow and let me lie down on the floor for almost an hour. Also one time they lost my luggage, found it in Hong Kong a day later, and hired a driver who drove it cross border to my apartment and carried it up the stairs for me.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 10:50

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

A former coworker always flies United because he was in Tokyo when the tsunami hit a couple years back and they let him fly first class back to LA for free. That's pretty good.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 04:16

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

The one time I flew Air France it was on par with Cathay Pacific, I think.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 04:18

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

VideoTapir posted:

Oh, he must have been traumatized! Did his coffee get spilled?

(I was in Tokyo during the quake, too. It wasn't that bad.)

I'm not saying he was traumatized, I'm just saying United was pretty cool to let him fly back to LA for free (on first class!)

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 04:28

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

caberham posted:

Air France: the bread is much nicer, and they serve this!

But when it comes to service and in flight entertainment, Cathay is better.

***
Why not? you paid for it, might as well use it

Yeah and also they kept pushing free bottles of wine on me, which was cool.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 04:29

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Magna Kaser posted:

Uhh Cathay had like 2 seasons of Veep, a season of curb your enthusiasm and the entirety of the IT Crowd and Black Books on my flight from HK to Frankfurt. They also had a ton of movies and a ton of other shows, it was pretty drat good.

Compared to DELTA which wanted $1.99USD per episode of non-Friends/Two and a Half Men/Big Bang Theory shows

I've seen about half of Curb Your Enthusiasm and I've never watched it except on Cathay Pacific flights.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 10:27

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Pro-PRC Laowai posted:

I survive those long flights by not sleeping the night before, showing up half dead and then falling asleep on the plane. Then waking up, getting hammered on free booze and passing out until the drat thing lands. Oh, and obviously, never flying any american airline ever.

This is exactly my strategy

# ¿ Aug 21, 2013 20:43

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

There's an engineer at my office who is so transparently lazy that he regularly puts on one of those eye mask things, leans back, and takes a nap at like 3pm.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2013 05:18

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Protip the black chickens are called Silkies and they literally have black skin, they're not blackened

# ¿ Aug 26, 2013 13:27

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

ReindeerF posted:

Query: They are still black and pretty much the entire carcass is in the soup, correct? Bonus points for not saying "It depends on the chef, some just use the head and..."

Response: Yep

# ¿ Aug 26, 2013 13:30

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I totally eat chicken wings with chopsticks. If you don't feel like getting your hands dirty, it's great.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2013 16:13

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I've seen someone eating a baguette with chopsticks. That was pretty weird.

# ¿ Aug 27, 2013 00:28

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Bloodnose posted:

I don't know if you're joking or not because some pizza places in Hong Kong actually give you cheap cellophane gloves.

They do this on the mainland, too

# ¿ Aug 27, 2013 03:02

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

I gave one of my former interns a Terry Pratchett book a couple years back. She claims she understood it perfectly but I really doubt she did.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2013 16:22

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

Woodsy Owl posted:

I recently bought a toaster oven off TaoBao and it stays at a constant temperature. It goes up to 220 degrees Celsius. I've made all sorts of different breads and cookies with it so far. It works absolutely wonderfully! I definitely recommend you get one. I've even done up a couple baked potatoes.

Yes my girlfriend and I bake bread and pizza and cakes and cookies and stuff in the 200 RMB toaster oven I got on taobao all the time. You have to learn how to use it without burning stuff, because it's not a real oven, but it works!

# ¿ Sep 2, 2013 05:55

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

The Worst Muslim posted:

Start with traditional and simplified should be much easier for you.

Alternately, start with simplified and traditional will be much easier.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2013 07:19

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

If your goal is to become "conversational" then you probably shouldn't bother with the HSK at all.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2013 09:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 12:29

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

VideoTapir posted:

What Beijing OUGHT to do is require proof of someplace to park your drat car like Japan does, but that would be corruptioned away right quick. Alternately, they could confiscate and crush every car caught parked in a bike lane or on a sidewalk. That would eventually cut down on the number of cars on the road, and it would reduce the congestion caused by shitheads parking their cars in lanes of traffic, people walking in the middle of four or even six lane roads because the sidewalks are too full of cars, bikes dodging between cars because there are two rows of cars parked in the bike lane, and people taking forever to exit the road because the intersection is full of parked cars. These are all things I saw in the last 30 minutes, BTW.

edit: I don't want to live here anymore.

You should key all these cars

# ¿ Sep 6, 2013 18:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Tourism & Travel > The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

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