The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Tourism & Travel > The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

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hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

China's hosed up.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2014 04:11

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

If he didn't sign the Chinese version then how can it be legal?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2014 09:45

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

MeramJert posted:

My first contract almost 4 years ago was dual language with a clause saying the Chinese version takes precedence if there are differences. My next contract was Chinese only.

My latest contract, signed in mid-October, was English only with a clause saying "This contract is provided in English and Chinese. In the event of a conflict between versions, the Chinese version takes precedence." I asked to see the Chinese version and they said "there is no Chinese version." So I asked what the meaning of that clause was and they said "It doesn't mean anything." So I asked to remove the clause before I signed it, and the HR girl went to the Director of HR who told me they can't remove the clause, but it's literally meaningless and there is no Chinese version, but if I want a copy of the Chinese version I can sign that one too, but it's not necessary and they'll only file the English one with the government.

I hope this clears some things up!

This is like a Laurel and Hardy sketch.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2014 10:49

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

I think wine is bad and not good to drink.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 08:13

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

The Worst Muslim posted:

Grrr look at me I will never be affected by taunts but I'm still so mad I probably punch myself in the head like a spaz

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 08:13

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Ceciltron posted:

Everyone seems to feel very strongly about my thing. I'm gonna pipe down for a while about my things.

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me

This is a good response.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2014 04:48

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Too bad badastronaut can't see this harmonious exchange. I've also crapped my pants a little.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2014 04:52

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

kru posted:

He's met me and I'm cool like ice

ice to meet you

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 15:43

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

VideoTapir posted:

Only time I ever went skiing was in Japan. I fell down; and a Chinese woman hit me as I was trying to get up.

I imagine she wasn't even skiing and was just staring at her phone while she walked. I bet she yelled at you for being in her way, too.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 03:28

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

tacoman165 posted:

The worst was actually in Hiroshima with a bunch of ~~people in brand-name gear and no idea how to snowboard~~ people from Hong Kong falling and sitting everywhere, it was like a minefield.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2014 05:33

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

If you fly the confederate national flag most people will mistake it for the old US flag because it was so similar. Most people fly the battle flag because they're morons. The "stars and bars" was a red white and blue flag, not the orange and blue one.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 02:08

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Somebody told me to just buy a house because it's a waste of money to rent. I wish I had thought of that.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 07:59

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

People in the USA are ascared of China.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 09:15

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Infinite Jest was designed to be read on a Kindle. Any other book I'd rather hold.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 03:06

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

MeramJert posted:

I'm overweight.

lol

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ¿ Feb 21, 2014 13:11

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

A lot of that assumes you can sleep on an airplane.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 08:04

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

I only fell asleep twice. One time I somehow slept for ten hours and woke up at the breakfast before landing. It was amazing. I also slept when going to Germany because my boss got us bumped up to premier coach or whatever coach plus is.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 16:17

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

I can't nap in any case and feel like complete poo poo upon waking.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2014 16:34

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

All space under the seat in front of me is for my legs. I'm over six feet tall and my knees almost touch the seat in front.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 01:32

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

I walk around the house in my underwear because it's neither blazing hot or warm because it has insulation and heat.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 09:18

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

caberham posted:

I love you man please show up for beertopia

yes I will go but I don't have a ticket

# ¿ Feb 25, 2014 09:37

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

SB35 posted:

The few people I know who have done this had literal binders full of USCIS paperwork and "proof of their relationship", which ranged from chat logs, texts, photos together, etc.

But don't let this dissuade you!

We prepared all this stuff and never had to use it. They asked my wife "How do you talk to your husband?" and she said "With my mouth, we've lived together for 5 years." They pretty much said good luck and sent us on our way. Whole process took 6 months, though.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2014 14:32

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Bloodnose posted:

Your wife has a Hong Kong passport and that makes a tremendous difference versus a mainlander.

I guess, but she's originally from China so she has a different HK passport... I think.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2014 07:45

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Christians I've met here are way more annoying and evangelical than anyone I met in the southern US.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2014 07:04

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Invest in bitcoins.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2014 07:52

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Just live in Tseun Kwan O. it's cheaper and close to Lohas Park

# ¿ Mar 27, 2014 02:25

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

that's the double eyelid fork

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 05:38

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

The Chinese government doesn't really "get" anything except intimidating its own citizens.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2014 07:06

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

She must not have sung anything off Post or Homogenic or else they would have let anything fly.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 06:25

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

goldboilermark posted:

lol

Look out, he will report this post.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 06:50

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

33k is very comfortable in Hong Kong if you are wise.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 16:35

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Bloodnose posted:

With or without housing? You need to budget 15-20k for housing so without would be very bad.

stop scaring this fellow. I bet he can find something for under 15 on that side of town... although I'm out of touch since the TKO line got so busy.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2014 02:00

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Bloodnose posted:

Hong Kong also mostly does monthly salaries, despite there being a minimum wage (although it's only 4 years old), and passable accounting practices.

No OT though, or people may actually have time to have sex with their wives or have a life after work. No max working hours, anyway

# ¿ May 7, 2014 00:46

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Anything that involves Hong Kong bureaucracy is loving stupid and nightmarish.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 08:23

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

caberham posted:

That's not true, your HKID was easy to get.

Because i'm used to filling out forms in triplicate and bringing double copies of every legal document I have here. I even copied my tax forms to bring in.

# ¿ May 15, 2014 09:21

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Arakan posted:

I mean HK is not very big. Imagine how many street making GBS threads stories we would have to read if mainlanders were free to travel there whenever they wanted.

That's the entire situation down here that people are worried about.

# ¿ May 23, 2014 10:39

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Funny how re-interpretation can happen like that but any attempt to do the same for real democracy is met with "we can't just change the law!"

# ¿ May 23, 2014 11:07

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

I only have a USB or phone to bring music to a BBQ I don't know if it's ok.

# ¿ May 24, 2014 12:38

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

systran posted:

Xiao Gua Gua of house Bo raised his banner with the help of his parents, as he was too weak to do anything himself. The great banner depicted a steaming hot pot encircling a cyanide pill. The matronly Lady Kai Lai stood behind him, planning dastardly. Behind them stood house Diaoyu, their banner proudly displayed the Middle Kingdom's greatest island and its abundant bounty of rocks and small bugs. The island was painted crimson, and the indigo waters were full of mercury-laden fish and deformed crabs painted a pale orange. In the retinue of these great houses were three prestigious guilds: The street shitters, the day nappers, and the gawkers.

Kai Lai raised her looking glass and saw a car approaching. "Our scouts are returning," she said. The car came into honking distance, honking loudly as it drove through the zebra crossing without yielding. The driver jumped out and spat onto the street without looking where he was aiming, "M'lady, there are three Japanese walking through Jiefangbei, they are being comically polite in a way I have never before seen: They are raising and re-angling their umbrellas so that they do not hit passers-by in the head as they walk by."

Kai Lai shrieked. "Such condescension, do you know what happened in Nanjing? They are rubbing it in our faces." Behind her, one of the street shitters shat onto the street. "Gua Gua, mount your black Audi. Show these Gui Zi what happens when you hurt the feelings of the Chinese people."

Gua Gua, with the help of his Father, got into his black Audi, and with the help of his mother fastened his seat belt. His Mom started the car for him and made sure the horn was working; it was raining after all. His steed ready, Gua Gua blasted through the zebra crossing, grazing several pedestrians, which the gawkers took a good look at, their hands clasped behind the backs.

In the distance, among the Chinese chaotically bumping into each other and ramming umbrellas into each others' heads, Gua Gua spotted three figures. Rather than walking how they wanted and hitting whoever so happened to walk into their path, these figures were predicting the course of incoming obstacles and moving out of the way in order to avoid collisions. Gua Gua seethed at the insult to his country's rich and ancient culture.

In order to approach more stealthily, Gua Gua cut his horn beeps down to one beep per second. He wanted these Gui Zi to be caught off guard. He saw the Japanese approach a zebra crossing, so Gua Gua built up speed, preparing to clash. The targets were less than a meter from the crossing; Gua Gua swerved right, predicting their path. His timing was perfect, he would be at the crossing just as the Japanese stepped onto the street, they would all be crushed and their corrupt blood would spill across the city, as it should have in Nanjing.

But then it went all wrong: Just as the Japanese were supposed to cross, they instead looked both ways, and seeing Gua Gua's Audi, they didn't cross. Gua Gua swerved right in an attempt to clip them into the shops opposite the sidewalk, but he was going too fast and turned too late. He rammed directly into the guard rail.

Gua Gua felt himself pulled from the car. The gawkers formed a circle around him, they stared and did nothing as he bled out. Someone was helping him though, it must be his mother or father, he realized. But then he heard their voices, speaking Mandarin with too many syllables. It was the Japanese, they were going to rape him as they had done to his relatives in Nanjing, or perhaps they would hold him hostage and demand lands which had always belonged to China in exchange for Gua Gua's return.

"Herro? Man is hur-u-tu, car-u cras-shu, we need ambu-ran-su, xie xie."

The Japanese were helping him? It was a propaganda stunt, they would lord this over China for the next hundred years. "Three retards save Prince of prominent Chinese house," the headlines would read in their newspaper, in bold squiggles and stolen Chinese characters.

日本SQUIGGLE SQUIGGLE STUPID loving CIRCLE王DOT DOT CRAZY JAGGED LINE救STOLEN ENGLISH WORD STOLEN GERMAN WORD -- 英雄

He had to stop this from happening. His mother had given him one of the cyanide pills in case he ever needed to kill a close friend of his, but now he needed to end his own life. The cyanide pill was part of his house's banner, and Gua Gua knew this would bring honor to his house. He bit down on the pill, but usually his mom cut pills up for him so he could swallow them easily with water, and he had no water here. The pill was really hard, so he couldn't bite on it very well. It fell out of his mouth and rolled into a gutter.

The Japanese had stopped the bleeding, and an ambulance was close now, it was only blocked by a dozen or so cars stopped in the middle of the road. It would be here any minute, and with it would come shame and dishonor. Gua gua's body was almost fatally injured, but worse, his feelings were hurt.

same

# ¿ Jun 14, 2014 07:51

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31

hong kong divorce lunch: Sep 20, 2005

Bloodnose posted:

and actually doing something

So I guess I'm doing okay.

Enjoy your 8 gigs of game and like 42 gigs of uncompressed ogg files or whatever haha

# ¿ Jun 22, 2014 15:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Tourism & Travel > The China Megathread III: It is not a happy everyday

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