Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Halloween Jack posted:

unfiltered coffee is bad for your cholesterol

aw poo poo

That makes me sad.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2014 21:49

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:51

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

One of my students knew I liked Coach bags, so for a Christmas present I got this marvel:

Thank god they included a receipt.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2014 22:30

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

I agree with this comment:

quote:

do this all from home on a hourly billable basis and the name changes from "fraud" to "consulting"

# ¿ Jan 10, 2015 18:26

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Sell your car, jesus christ.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2015 00:54

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Merrill Grinch posted:

In contrast, I've been saving up for a four-star 7 day vacation for five years now and I have all the money to take my family somewhere nice. I've got no debt outside a mortgage with a tiny 2.5% interest rate, an emergency fund, maxxed retirement funds and even some non-retirement investments but I can't seem to loving pull the trigger on buying the vacation because I'm paralyzed about spending $6-8k on something not tangible. It's me, I'm the impulse saver who's bad with money.

Tell us where you're going so we can judge you about it

# ¿ Feb 1, 2015 00:05

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Blinkman987 posted:

I think the issue there is that people are tithing while broke. I don't speak with God, but I have a feeling he/she/it doesn't mind if people forego putting money into the collection plate if they're financially struggling.

Well technically you're supposed to give away all of your money and live poor, but nobody listens to Jesus anymore.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2015 00:27

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Not a Children posted:

Also, does it not enter his mind that boat docks come with an enormous backend expense: A boat?

To be fair, he could probably rent out his slip and recoup the HOA costs if nobody knows it's not his boat. Hawaii slip rentals are crazy expensive and lots of people live in their boats.

re: MLM stuff, a family member just got into ACN stuff. He's actually got a really good salesman personality but is too kind-hearted to make a killing off of the recruiting side of things (which is how you make money). Everybody always says "get a sales job outside of MLM" but what kinds of jobs are actually out there for sales people right now? He used to sell auto parts and his business shut down because some big box auto store started one-hour shipping and that was the end of things. He's in Riverside/San Bernadino, if anyone has any ideas. I love the guy and don't want him to get suckered, but I have nothing else to offer =/

# ¿ Feb 19, 2015 22:08

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Duckman2008 posted:

I tell people,here and elsewhere all the time that wireless is a good starting point in sales. Starting income at AT&T or Verizon for a sales rep is $50K, or $45K of you really suck at sales. Easy to do better too. Both are currently on a hiring freeze, but they'll start hiring again come spring and summer.

Great to hear, I will pass this info along. Thank you so much!

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 17:16

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Related: My real estate agent today said "Back in the seventies we came up to look at this same place, but it was a wild neighborhood. Somebody was roasting a whole pig outside and everyone was just sitting around smoking pot. It was just a crazy neighborhood."

My husband and I looked at each other - "Sounds awesome!"

The place we went to today is not on the market yet. The owner is renting the house out to tenants and sleeping in a shack on the property. We saw his little shanty - his mattress was outside on a wood platform (dirt floor!) and he had a propane tank hooked up to a makeshift stove and a toilet in the floor you'd have to squat on. There are tons of little sheds everywhere and fencing stapled to the trees and oh my god. Not worth $525k, but the location is perfect and I imagine the neighbors would be happy to have us move in

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 21:05

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Baja Mofufu posted:

Is this in Southern California? We were thinking about upgrading to rending a house instead of an apartment, and three of the houses we looked at had "owner's shanties" in the back. Good with money, I guess?

Northern-ish, near Santa Cruz. This guy is bad with money because his renters haven't paid rent for a few months. And apparently he's too kind hearted to kick them out. I don't know how I could live in a shack right next to people IN MY HOUSE RIGHT THERE.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 21:34

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

We'd have to restart the hog roast tradition, for sure. The guy was a woodworker and so the house comes with all of the tools in the garage and a bunch of other "extras" including a VW camper bus. Now, that would be pretty cool, but the bus is parked down in the side yard where he build up a garden and stone BBQ pit and stuff. He built the stuff in AFTER parking the bus there, and now there's no way that we can see (besides demolishing a fence or the whole BBQ pit) that you could drive it up and out of the yard. So, a permanent VW camper for the MIL I guess :v:

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 21:40

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

This guy took me hiking on a first date and brought homemade peanut butter honey sandwiches squished up in a ziploc. When we went to a coffee shop afterwards I could tell he was stressed on buying fancy coffee so I paid for his drink. Then his car handle broke off in my hand when I got in because he was driving a super old Volvo and there was no furniture in his apartment to even sit down so we sat on the floor. Then he had the gall to expect me to pay for the wedding two years later, sheesh. :v:

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 23:09

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

pathetic little tramp posted:

Do not take your date LARPing.

No, you take them LARP-watching. One of my favorite dates was parkour-watching. Very good entertainment:cost ratio. Bring gummy bears to share wih your girl. #GoodWithMoney

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 00:06

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Hahahah, I totally want to open up a financial dominatrix business. I would dress in black leather and put all of their money in diversified index funds.

"Oh baby, tell me what to do."
"loving max out that Roth. Max it out so hard. I'm your beneficiary, aren't I? Aren't I?!"

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 04:52

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

GoGoGadgetChris posted:

Even that has its risks. My sister and her boyfriend were going to have a nice, modest wedding until our dad offered to pay for it and kept urging them to "make it special". Their budget ended up around $75,000. Then today he told her he can't afford to pay for it anymore

Their wedding is a week from tomorrow so there's no way to get any of their deposits back.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh holy god that is the worst. Nothing like spending a down payment on a wedding!

# ¿ Mar 24, 2015 20:39

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Seattle is a bunch of new money tech people, they get paid mad bank and want to impress all their friends and have no idea what to do with money but spend it all.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2015 20:47

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Duck and Cover posted:

Presently Sussex Spaniel, white German Shepard. Although it was my mom's choice. The Sussex Spaniel was before Stump won best in show.

holy gently caress nobody actually gives a poo poo

# ¿ May 12, 2015 17:49

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

zaurg posted:

I'll post again late in Summer with the stupid financial decision I made.

It's way easier to post passive aggressive bullshit about your financial difficulties being your wife's fault than it is to sit down and, you know, actually have a conversation with the woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with.

# ¿ May 19, 2015 05:21

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Rurutia posted:

I trim and layer my own long hair. There's tons of youtube tutorials and it's not hard. I've had friends ask me where I get my hair done too.

Link to a good one? Do you have to get special scissors?

I cut my husband's hair because he has three separate cowlicks and hair stylists never know how to work with it. We have those thinning scissors which make a big difference.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 18:47

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Rurutia posted:

I basically watched all the popular ones and took tips from all of them to fit my hair... Usually they are doing their own hair so if I like the way it looks on them and they have similar hair texture as me I watched it. I'd honestly do that instead of watching the ones I liked because if I remember correctly you are caucasian with fine hair. I'm asian with pretty high protein hair.

Cool, thanks! I'm going to try to do this one now, it looks really easy for long hair:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brmQhv6Uw1g

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 21:53

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Everything Burrito posted:

I cut my own hair (long, wavy w/layers) for the first time this week and really all I can say for it was it wasn't a total disaster. Seems like all the ponytail method tutorials I read and watched ended up with the back shaped like a V and I didn't much care for how that looked so I had to spend some time getting that even but the extra step was worth it.

In the video I linked, she shows how the angle changes that V-shape. If you cut at a less steep angle, you get less of an effect. I agree, I like the more even style rather than the V-shape (looks too young for a fuddy duddy 30 year old like me). 'Not a total disaster' sounds perfect, I just don't want the split ends I get after forgetting about it. I swear to god, I do oil changes more often than haircuts :v:

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 22:16

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Rurutia posted:

I agree that the ponytail method sucks. I don't use it. I find it easier to even things out if you cut off the length in one stroke on each side. Then layer and even it out from there. Here's what I'm talking about :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ-TDoJX1zU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um1hqXh7-cc

Ooh, okay, I see. I like that second one.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 22:31

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

the littlest prince posted:

Can someone transcribe that for the people who can't read tiny handwriting on a five inch screen, please?

"I'm an entitled little bitch"

# ¿ Jun 16, 2015 21:52

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Hey college educated dude who thinks poor people should bootstraps or commit suicide, I got a book rec for you: Savage Inequalities by Jonathan Kozol. I think that all responsible citizens (except the intellectually disabled, which is a distinct minority) have an obligation to inform themselves about the society they live in before going on the internet and posting their dumbshit opinions.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 17:47

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

John Smith posted:

Something you should encourage more of from young people, instead of telling them that it can't be helped and they should resign themselves to their fate.

You know that you can encourage this while at the same time practicing compassion, right? Look, honestly, I had the exact same mindset at your age. I went from free school lunches to a prestigious university on scholarship and thought that anyone could do the same if they just worked hard enough. I read way too much Ayn Rand and thought I had it all figured out. But sometimes working hard isn't enough, and sometimes one bad decision wipes out all of the good ones, and sometimes you just get unlucky. It's not as simple as you think it is.

I really really hope you change your mind, because we need people at the top who are compassionate, who don't think that poor people should commit suicide if they can't work hard enough.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2015 16:47

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Some friends from San Diego are driving the whole day to go to this MLM convention thing. Last I heard they signed up for a $495 course to show them how to get started in "the field", that is to say the field of selling things to friends and family. I don't even want to know what the convention cost them.

Also, I am bad with money, I just wasted $55 on a half marathon registration because a friend guilted me into it. I haven't run in a year and the race is in a month and a half.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2015 17:31

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

"buy bitcoin"

# ¿ Jun 29, 2015 02:38

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Thank christ, a guy that stupid does not need to be teaching children anything.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2015 16:06

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

pathetic little tramp posted:

You motherfuckers and your motherfucking sous vide machines what the gently caress is wrong with you just put the meat in a motherfucking ziploc bag and motherfucking boil it motherfucking voila gently caress your sous vide machine motherfuckers.

"Voila"? "Sous vide"? what are you, too rich to speak american like the rest of us?

# ¿ Sep 1, 2015 20:09

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

jaymeekae posted:

It's in french. French stuff is posh.

Yeah, didn't you see Elysium? French people rule the world from a satellite paradise.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2015 16:39

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Lol, that article reminds me of the Sphinx from Mystery Men.

Don't waste your time owning assets, because in time the assets will own you.
Rent doesn't pay, so why bother paying rent?
Real estate is a hedge against inflation, but if you inflate your hedges, your estate will never be real.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2015 00:56

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

It's possible, but it's not that much money for a lot of downside, imo. Apart from the massive credit hit, you wouldn't be able to be working at a high paying job - they'll just dock your pay to pay the creditors. So you'd have to commit to working lovely minimum wage jobs at the outset of your career right when it's most important to get a jump into a good job that actually uses your degree.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 00:43

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I'm not sure they even think it's the best way to spend their time, it's just "easy" and at least makes them seem like they are doing something, more like a stalling tactic to me.

I fell into this when I moved back to California and ended up working a few minimum wage jobs. I decided to get my MLIS in part because I felt like I wasn't going anywhere and a higher degree would at least be something I was working on. And then of course they laid off half the librarians in the state and I wasted $15k on a degree that didn't teach me any useful skills.

I remember talking with an older lady who was aghast that I wasn't going to go back to get my masters in education when I only had a half a year left of classes to finish the degree. "You'll never regret finishing your education!" she said. That's the mindset all around us, without any thought of ROI or even how valuable the degree is in the first place. My undergraduate coursework taught me a million times more than either of my masters' programs, it really is awful how bad some higher ed programs can be.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2015 04:18

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Switchback posted:

Don't worry guys he did some dishes and came back and apologized then berated himself and cried until I was in "don't worry, it's OK" mode. My solution is for him to manage putting a room or two up on air bnb, that will give him something to do and bring in some money. He has a bad habit of staying up all night (like till 9am) then sleep in all day and getting depressed.

And... he's taking the phone back, right?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2015 15:30

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Shipon posted:

just because money is "tacky".

It's not money that's tacky, it's ASKING FOR MONEY that's tacky. Don't tell people how they should be giving things to you. Let them be generous in whatever way they see fit, thank them for whatever form their generosity takes, and then sell the wedding bobblehead dolls on eBay for cash afterwards.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 02:55

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Subjunctive posted:

How do you feel about "in lieu of gifts, the couple would appreciate contributions to their honeymoon fund"? Scales with whatever guests want to give even better than a registry (as does simply "cash please"). I've seen it a number of times, especially from younger couples, and I admit that it doesn't move me to rage.

I mean, according to every etiquette rule, you're not allowed to mention that you expect any kind of gift, let alone express a preference. The way to do this is to let your close friends and parents know that you'd prefer cash (or gifts off a registry) and let them spread the word when people inevitably ask about it, but sending out gift instructions with an invitation is crass.

Do you send out mass emails to your friends and acquaintances before Christmas or your birthday to let them know what kind of gifts you find acceptable? No - if they ask, you can certainly let them know what you might be hoping for or point them to an amazon wish list, but if they don't ask, you accept whatever they have to offer and be grateful for it. It's a freaking gift, not overtime pay. You don't get to dictate terms for generosity.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 18:59

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Tea.EarlGrey.Hot. posted:

Who the gently caress buys a car before getting it checked out?

When I sold my car in college, the lady from craiglist came to the parking lot, sat in the driver's seat, didn't even turn the car on, and said "I have a good feeling about this car." She handed me $2k in cash and said she would be back the next day with the rest of the money and the paperwork. Lucky for her I'm not a dick, but yeah, some people are really too trusting.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2015 23:18

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

soup is good with money, good job psl!

# ¿ Nov 20, 2015 01:43

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

scuz posted:

Hi, I'm scuz, and I've been making abhorrent financial decisions for 13 years. Finances were never discussed on any level while I was growing up, so I never considered money to be important or anything with which to concern myself and have subsequently racked up loads and loads of debt and don't know how to manage it. I took a better job that I knew I would loathe in order to make more aggressive payments on my cards, but even that's not enough. My total credit card debt is just north of $13k and I'm completely unsure how to handle it. I transferred as much of a balance from one card to a 0% APR card as I could, but it was absolutely not enough. I've already done all I can with my enormous student loan debt, but I've been thinking about getting a consolidated loan from a bank or something because the interest rates on ~8k of the debt is 23.9%, which is way, way high. I'm having trouble with getting a recommendation from anywhere on how to handle this stuff, so I've turned to goons. Any advice is appreciated short of invent a time machine to go slap some sense into my younger self.

Consolidated loans generally aren't that great of an idea. Post a thread with more specifics and you'll get some good feedback. And don't stress too hard on past financial mistakes - $13k is not that unmanageable, even with student loans on top. You can do it!

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 23:45

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:51

moana: Jun 18, 2005; one of the more intellectual satire communities on the web

Crossposted from the homebuying thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/418gap/bought_a_house_and_now_im_in_big_trouble_advice/ posted:

Hi all, I am a first time poster here, and I really need advice.

I bought a house at the end of March last year for 63,000. I had an inspection done by a highly recommended licensed inspector. I was given an inspection report, and at the end he told me that it was a very solid little house. The sellers ended up fixing a few electrical issues and giving me a small credit towards a new water heater before I moved in.

Everything seemed to be fine for the first six months. Then the mold starting popping up.

First it was in my bathroom on the ceiling. I chalked it up to poor ventilation so I cleaned it and tried saving for a bathroom ventilation fan. Then it showed up along the ceiling of my bedroom and all rooms along the exterior walls of the house. I had it in the back of my mind to call someone to find out what's going on. Finally, this past week, some boxes were moved out of a closet and the wall and carpet are covered in mold that's all colors of the rainbow, as well as soaking wet. This spanned into the next rooms closet as well. Then I started noticing it everywhere.

I call three different restoration companies to come and look. The consensus seems to be that my house is pretty much screwed. The attic is covered in mold and so are the walls. I have been told that the roof, ceiling drywall, and some of the walls need to come down. I'm waiting for the bid but I was told it will be more than $20,000.

I had my insurance adjuster out yesterday and she told me it didn't look good. I now have to wait for a structural engineer to come next week before I can find out if anything is covered. She couldn't say anything, but I could tell she was hinting to me that I'm in big trouble.

Here's the personal finance part of this mess. I have 1,000 dollars in savings. I have no one to fall back on and a "fair" credit score. What do I do if this house needs 20-30k in restorations? I bought this house less than a year ago and it's obvious the problem was covered up when I moved in. I was told I shouldn't even be staying here right now due to the mold, but I have no where else to go.

lol at "saving for a bathroom ventilation fan"

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 23:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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