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 Welcome to this thread, please put on your plastic muffler and cap (or not you cheapskate). Here we discuss, shitpost or plain poo poo about/on teams from the German Bundesliga (2.Bundesliga and lower optional). Talk about football, not genital warts you picked up from whores during your stay in Germany (or elsewhere really). What is the Bundesliga? It's Germany's topflight in professional football, with 18 teams competing for the championship and European starting spots. Though realistically 8 of those teams will struggle for survival in the vain hope of not placing 16th and lower, the relegation (and play-off) spots, potentially leading to a grim future. Germany's unified league system developed quite late when compared to England, Spain or Italy, as the Bundesliga was created in 1962 (after a German loss in the WC quarterfinals) and competition starting in 1963/64, with the time during the World Wars being mostly a southern Germany affair. The Bundesliga is currently the third best football league in Europe and boasts the highest average attendance on the continent (about 41.000). So who is playing in this Bundesliga of yours?  Fußball-Club Bayern München e. V. (aka FCB, Bayern, Dusel-Bayern) Founded: 1900 Official colours: red and white Home ground: Allianz Arena (71,901) Biggest rival: All of them except Bochum Current Manager: Josep „Pep“ Guardiola i Sala Domestic titles: Championship: 1932, 1969, 1972, 1973, 1974, 1980, 1981, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1989, 1990, 1994, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2013 German Cup: 1957, 1966, 1967, 1969, 1971, 1982, 1984, 1986, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2013 International titles: Champion's League: 1974, 1975, 1976, 2001, 2013 Cup Winner's Cup: 1967 UEFA-Cup: 1996 Having won the league by late April and finishing it with only one loss and 25 points ahead of second placed Dortmund, experts (shitlords like me and all the other goony posters) expect the lead to be slightly less this season, what with Guardiola at the helm and his vision of football not yet in the heads of the squad (Stoppe! No dribbling). Done a historical triple of domestic league, cup and attaining the ranks of CL-winner 2013.  Götze plays here now. Thiago too.  Ballspielverein Borussia 09 e. V. Dortmund (aka Borussia Dortmund, BVB) Founded: 1909 Official colours: yellow and black Home ground: Signal Iduna Park (80,720) Biggest rival: FC Schalke 04 Current Manager: Jürgen Klopp Domestic titles: Champions: 1956, 1957, 1963, 1995, 1996, 2002, 2011, 2012 German Cup: 1965, 1989, 2012 International titles: Champions League: 1997 Cup Winners Cup: 1966 The dethroned domestic champions had a good run in the Champions League, destroying Real Madrid in the process (bonus points for that), but Bayern proved too much for the club last season, having their RECORD-BREAKING 81 points from 11/12 pulverized on top. Also lost their biggest talent to the good old release clause, reinvesting the money into Aubameyang and Mkhitaryan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF1w2myKnn8).  Bayer 04 Leverkusen Fußball GmbH (aka Bayer, Werkself, Vizekusen) Founded: 1904 Official colours: red and black Home ground: BayArena (30,210) Biggest rival: 1. FC Köln Current Manager: Sami Hyypiä Domestic titles: German Cup: 1993 International titles: UEFA-Cup: 1988 After last seasons "Tale of Two Managers" with both Sami Hyypiä and Sascha Lewandoski at the helm due to Hyypiä not having a coaching license yet, this season sees him as the singular manager of the team, with Lewandowski going back to the youth division he originated from. Almost unnoticed by rest of the Bundesliga, Leverkusen did extremely well considering their experimental management structure and came in 3rd, a single point behind Dortmund and thus qualified for the Champions League. The season was not without successes either, with Stefan Kießling winning the "Torjägerkanone" for scoring 25 goals and Leverkusen being the only domestic team to defeat the almighty Bayern.  That win ended a 20+ year losing streak in Munich for the team, too. After losing André Schürrle to Chelsea and Daniel Carvajal to Real Madrid, Leverkusen has to fill some serious gaps in their starting 11 and chose to do so with the usual measures: buying  FC Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 e.V (aka Schalke 04, S04, „Die Knappen“, “4-Minuten-Meister”) Founded: 1904 Official colours: blue and white Home ground: Veltins-Arena (61,673) Biggest rival: Borussia Dortmund Current Manager: Jens Keller Domestic titles: Championship: 1934, 1935, 1937, 1939, 1940, 1942, 1958 German Cup: 1937, 1972, 2001, 2002, 2011 International titles: UEFA-Cup: 1997 UI-Cup: 2009, 2004 Had a great run in both league and CL placing second in November, only to fall in a valley of bad form after the win at Dortmund. Salvaged fourth place with a decider on the last matchday.  Sport-Club Freiburg (aka Breisgau Brasilianer) Founded: 1904 Official colours: red and white Home ground: Badenova-Stadion (24,000) Biggest rival: VfB Stuttgart Current Manager: Christian Streich Freiburg is a rather small club from the southwest of Germany, mostly known for their student-club image and the 16-year-reign of former manager Volker Finke, with whom the club had its biggest success, finishing 3rd in the season 1994/95. They played the UEFA cup in the following year and once again in 2001. After relegation in 2005, they played in the 2nd league until 2009. Directly qualified for the EL group this season, I'm not sure what to expect from a side that has lost several of its key players.  Eintracht Frankfurt e. V. (aka Die Adler, SGE, Schlappekicker, Launische Diva) Founded: 1899 Official colours: Red, black and white Home ground: Commerzbank-Arena (51.500) Biggest rival: Kickers Offenbach Current Manager: Armin Veh Domestic titles: Championship: 1959 German Cup: 1974, 1975, 1981, 1988 International titles: Cup Winners' Cup: 1980 Back in business and straight to EL-play-offs, quite a jump from freshly promoting. The glorious European past might fool some fans, but it's not certain Veh will still manage the club until the end of season.  Hamburger Sport-Verein e.V. (aka HSV, Rothosen) Founded: 1887 Official colours: blue, white and black Home ground: Imtech Arena (57,000) Biggest rival: St. Pauli, Werder Bremen Current Manager: Thorsten Fink Domestic titles: Championship: 1923, 1928, 1960, 1979, 1982, 1983 German Cup: 1963, 1976, 1987 International titles: European Cup: 1983 Cup Winners' Cup: 1977 The last of the founding members of the Bundesliga that has never been relegated (and never got relegated from the highest tier of football even before that), the HSV enjoyed its most successful spell in the late 70s and early 80s with legends like Felix Magath and Kevin Keegan playing in the red shorts that gave the team its nickname. In the nineties, they had more than one brush with relegation, but managed to outlast the other founding members that finally went down during that time (Köln, Kaiserslautern, Frankfurt). Since building a new stadium, they had a good spell, regularly qualifying for Europe and seemingly building a top team slowly, but steadily. Things came to a halt in the past two years, though, as it became apparent that they had more a collection of players than a real team, going along with constant power struggles on the board and in management. With Fink and Arnesen at the helm, they now start anew. They have been weeding out and shipping off the likes of van Nistelrooy, Zé Roberto and Trochowski and brought in mostly young players, including no less than four players from Chelsea and their reserves. Bounced back from 15th and were not far away from securing an European competition spot.  Borussia Verein für Leibesübungen 1900 Mönchengladbach e. V. (aka Borussia Mönchengladbach or "Die Fohlen") Founded: 1900 Official colours: black, white and red Home ground: Stadion im Borussia-Park (54,067) Biggest rival: 1. FC Köln Current Manager: Lucien Favre Domestic titles: Championship: 1970, 1971, 1975, 1976, 1977 German Cup: 1960, 1973, 1995 International titles: UEFA-Cup: 1975, 1979 If you think of Borussia Mönchengladbach, you think of the glorious spell they had in the time between 1970 and 1980. In this era, they dominated the league, winning all of their five championships and also won the German cup once. During this spell they also won the UEFA-Cup twice, showing that they were a force to be reckoned with in Europe. They even reached the Champions League final in 1977, but lost 1-3 to Liverpool in Rome. Since then, the club has dwindled in importance because of the old stadion was a financial bottleneck until 2004.  Hannoverscher Sportverein von 1896 e. V. (aka Hannover 96, Die 96er, Die Roten) Founded: 1896 Official colours: black, white and green Home ground: AWD-Arena (49,000) Biggest rival: Werder Bremen Current Manager: Mirko Slomka Domestic titles: Championship: 1938, 1954 German Cup: 1992 International titles: UI Cup: 1967, 1972, 1973 Trains, Robert Enke, wreck. Didn't qualify for EL this time around because of literal schedule congestion due to 400 qualifier matches tiring the squad and lots of injuries. Mame Diouf will continue to break the league.  1. FC Nürnberg Verein für Leibesübungen e. V. (aka FCN, Der Glubb) Founded: 1900 Official colours: red and white Home ground: easyCredit-Stadion (48,553) Biggest rival: SpVgg Greuther Fürth, Bayern München Current Manager: Michael Wiesinger & Armin Reutershahn Domestic titles: Championship: 1920, 1921, 1924, 1925, 1927, 1936, 1948, 1961, 1968 German Cup: 1935, 1939, 1962, 2007 International titles: none; Semi-final in the European Cup 61/62 and quarterfinal in the Cup Winners' Cup 62/63 A record-setting side with the most championships behind Bayern, but more recently a record 7 relegations from the Bundesliga, paired with a record 7 promotions to the Bundesliga and the only club to get relegated as both defending champion (1969) and reigning cup winner (2008). Since the last relegation, the team has been rebuilt around young players and so far managed not only to stay up, but also finished in a secure 10th place. During the break, they defensive cornerstones, putting the defensive stability - one of the team's strengths in recent years - in jeopardy. On the other end of the pitch it remains to be seen whether the newly signed strikers (or Tomas Pekhart) can finally deliver a better output than in previous years. All in all, the only rational ambition should be staying up, extending their longest spell in the top flight since 1994 for yet another year.  Verein für Leibesübungen Wolfsburg Fußball GmbH (aka VfL Wolfsburg, “Die Wölfe”) Founded: 2001 (1945) Official colours: green and white Home ground: Volkswagen Arena (30,000) Biggest rival: The plastic fans really don’t care Current Manager: Dieter Hecking Domestic titles: Championship: 2009  Verein für Bewegungsspiele Stuttgart 1893 e. V. (aka VfB) Founded: 1893 Official colours: white and red Home ground: Mercedes-Benz Arena (41,000+ during the ongoing remodeling, 60,300 once finished) Biggest rival: Current Manager: Bruno Labbadia Domestic titles: Championship: 1950, 1952, 1984, 1992, 2007 German Cup: 1954, 1958, 1997 Pretending to play football, the clubs foundation was a lost pub bet in which a drunk Swabian idiot confused 'footing the bill' with kicking the crap out of his neighbors, the Hitlers (and look what that got us). Here we are 119 years after the fact and the club still has not learned what the beautiful game of football entails. Stuttgart, again, was really loving inconsistent last year, constantly switching between phases of title-contending-performances and utter dogshit. They also succeeded in selling all their talented young players. Again. Mohammed Abdellaoue will continue to break the league.  1. Fußball- und Sportverein Mainz 05 e.V. (aka Mainz 05, Karnevalsverein) Founded: 1905 Official colours: red and white Home ground: Coface Arena (34,034) Biggest rival: Current Manager: Thomas Tuchel Infamous for: finishing 4th two times in a row in the 2nd league, before finally making it into the Bundesliga in 2004 under the current Dortmund manager Jürgen Klopp. After relegation in 2007 and yet another 4th place in 2008, they're back in the Bundesliga since 2009. Last year was the most successful season in the clubs history, resulting in an upcoming Euro-League qualifying game against Romanian powerhouse (lol) Gaz Metan Medias. They moved into their new stadium during the summer, leaving their long-time carnival stronghold "Am Bruchweg".  Sport-Verein Werder von 1899 e. V. Bremen (aka Werder Bremen, Werder, “Die Fischköppe”) Founded: 1899 Official colours: green and white Home ground: Weserstadion (43,789) Biggest rival: Hamburger SV Current Manager: Robin Dutt Domestic titles: Championship: 1965, 1988, 1993, 2004 German Cup: 1961, 1991, 1994, 1999, 2004, 2009 International titles: UI-Cup: 1998 Cup Winners’ Cup: 1992 Werder Bremen. Amazing to watch as a neutral, atrocious to be a supporter. Famous for leading with three goals, then bottling it hilariously and vice versa. Remember the 4-4 against Valencia last year? Yeah that’s Bremen in a nutshell. But oh how the mighty have fallen. Not having qualified for international football in the last three years and thus missing a lot of money, Bremen had to sell off every single player that was any good in the last twelve months and their current squad is only just resembling Bundesliga quality. They brought in some good loans with de Bruyne and Petersen, but I expect them not to do very well this season. See Hamburg after their rebuilding last season. Thomas Schaaf, the manager with the longest tenure in the Bundesliga, had his goodbye last season with Werder narrowly escaping the clutches of relegation.  Fußball-Club Augsburg 1907 e. V. (aka FC Augsburg, FCA) Founded: 1907 Official colours: red, green and white Home ground: SGL arena (30,660) Biggest rival: TSV 1860 München Current Manager: Markus Weinzierl In the year 2000, Walter Seinsch took over the club and completely restructured it. Since then, the club has slowly but steadily risen from the 4th division to the 1st division, where they are now some sort of wild card. The squad itself is very mediocre, with some gems in it. But the experience of constantly playing with a very similar squad over the last years has welded the players together and so they survived last season and stayed up. Were dead last until the last couple of matchdays but really fought their way out of the relegation zone. I did a tiny fistpunch upon hearing the club saved itself again. My personal choice of The Underdog.  Turn- und Sportgemeinschaft 1899 Hoffenheim e. V. (aka TSG, Hoffe, 18,99, Hoppenheim) Founded: 1899 Official colours: blue and white Home ground: Rhein-Neckar-Arena (30,150) Biggest rival: real fans, maybe VfB Stuttgart to a certain extent Current Manager: Markus Gisdol In his youth, Dietmar Hopp played football for TSG Hoffenheim and 27 years later, he decided to give something back and help the small town club. In between, Hopp had founded SAP, a multi-billion euro enterprise, and had become a billionaire himself. He pumped considerable amounts into the club, including training center and a new stadium. And of course a lot of players, although Hopp and Hoffenheim have avoided really big transfers. Lots of disciplinary and professional trouble in the squad combined with a lack of passion for the club led to an early exit for Babbel, a very Kurz stint (it is a pun) and Gisdol from youth development picking up the pieces to salvage Hoffenheims Bundesliga stay with surprisingly good football against the shitkickers from Kaiserslautern in the relegation play-offs. Wiese and Derdiyok had terrible seasons and might be looking for a way out (good luck with that, ha!).  Hertha BSC Berlin Founded: 1892 Official colours: blue and white Home ground: Olympiastadion Berlin (74,244) Biggest rival: Need to amend this Current Manager: Jos Luhukay Domestic titles: Championship: 1930, 1931 The boys are back yet again, this time with a good manager (Luhukay is a bit underrated imo) who also kept up Augsburg the season before.  Eintracht Braunschweig Founded: 1895 Official colours: blue and yellow Home ground: Eintracht Stadion (25,540) Biggest rival: Need to amend this Current Manager: Torsten Lieberknecht Domestic titles: Championship: 1967 One of the traditional Bundesliga outfits (and founder) makes its reappearance after 25 years of lower division hopping. I only remember Breitner playing there and Jägermeister sponsor kits. Addendum:  Dunban got Managerliga rolling, look here for information (need to register). Now discuss! Contributors: Healbot, Katana Gomai, MuLepton, frankenfreak, Mandalay, WHAT A BREAKFAST and ephex Healbot fucked around with this message at 10:57 on Aug 5, 2013 |
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Jul 19, 2013 12:38
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 15:31 |
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Katana Gomai posted:Ground floor. You missed the "2013/14" bit in the title but I don't think it matters much. Also you didn't copy the BB code from my Leverkusen bit (just quote my original post, it'll show up) so it's missing some formating. Look at you being all wrong.  (Thanks Finn)And yes, I'd be in for a game.
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Jul 19, 2013 13:26
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Because we don't sign Norwegians.
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Jul 21, 2013 22:40
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(euroboy just really likes his fellow Norwegians to do well)
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Jul 21, 2013 22:42
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300k down the toilet when the club is recording a €9m loss. Not exactly something I would have done as lead.
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Jul 24, 2013 09:34
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Did you guys know there's one club that could easily rival Bayern if they got their poo poo together? Hamburg, that's who.www.hsv-arena.net posted:(...) In jedem normalen Bundesliga-Club würde der Sportchef/Vorstand/Geschäftsführer jetzt zwei Verträge unterschreiben. Den Ersten mit dem abgebenden Verein, den Zweiten mit dem neuen HSV-Spieler. Aber halt, so läuft das in Hamburg nicht. Transfers above €500k have to be approved by a club council of twelve men (not actually dabbling in football at all, local politicians and the like), where the sporting director and manager present arguments in favour of spending the dough and whether it's a necessity. Council members then use their time to think and call their favourite sports journalists for opinions on said player (imagine Raphael Honigstein giving a thumbs up to Artjom Rudnevs). Also this little gem: www.hsv-arena.net posted:By the way – der HSV soll einen Berater für die Ukraine beschäftigen, der noch nie in der Ukraine war. Auf meine Frage, wie der festangestellte Mitarbeiter denn seinen Job erledigen würde, bekam ich als Antwort: Der guckt bei Transfermarkt.de, welcher Spieler bei welchem Club spielt, guckt bei youtube nach Videos etc. Wahnsinn !! Just have an agent for Ukraine players not visit the country a single time, have him look up transfermarkt.de and watch youtube compilations of targets. Great job, fully paid. Healbot fucked around with this message at 14:54 on Jul 26, 2013 |
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Jul 26, 2013 12:59
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That's some mad Heynckes football I'm looking at. Pep needs to change things up.
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Jul 27, 2013 20:19
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Bayern really love to gift goals. Also what the poo poo.
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Jul 27, 2013 20:46
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Put Müller out of his misery imo. What kind of loving performance was that.
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Jul 27, 2013 21:18
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Horrid defensive performance, which was par for the course considering the volatile strategy chosen.
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Jul 27, 2013 21:20
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elbkaida posted:Don't tell me there is no guy like this somewhere in your block at every match! That's just what football does to people. Remember that you're talking to a Leverkusen fan.
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Jul 30, 2013 00:13
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Katana Gomai posted:Don't worry, we've got our share of lunatics as well. I'm just parroting what someone said in the comments. Yeah, I don't read Youtube comments unless I'm in the mood for depression.  Edit: Can to Leverkusen on loan is looking likely. Healbot fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Aug 2, 2013 |
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Aug 2, 2013 10:14
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Katana Gomai posted:I saw Kicker posting about this yesterday but guess it has just been finalized. As for why it's not a loan, I guess Bayern just don't think he has the potential to matter in the long run. They can buy him back if he turns out to be a hit, but otherwise he's our problem. Personally, I don't really see why we needed to buy him in the first place; I don't think he is good enough to play significant minutes and God knows we buy enough loving Perspektivspieler already. I think Bayern made the better deal here. Bayern went that way because he didn't want to extend his contract beyond 2014.
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Aug 2, 2013 12:12
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Kid's 19 years old, he will turn out something wonderful in time.
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Aug 2, 2013 13:00
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Katana Gomai posted:Bayern fans (not plastics), how much truth is there to this article? http://www.sueddeutsche.de/sport/fanszene-beim-fc-bayern-vorbild-barcelona-1.1737896 From an outside perspective, I think it does make more sense to keep 300 tickets per game on hold and raffle them out so everyone gets a chance to see the team, at least ideally. The unfortunate truth, home games in the last season have already been silent affairs. Bayern is trying a bit too hard for the Premier League state.
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Aug 3, 2013 14:22
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In other news, Bayern reserves could actually promote this season if this goes on, five out of five games won, 17 goals for and 2 against.
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Aug 3, 2013 15:19
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Leverkusen will find a way (to go out to a third league side next round). Edit: Added the flowchart to the OP.
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Aug 5, 2013 11:38
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frankenfreak is even worse, being a Franconian and all (sup Franconian buddy).
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Aug 5, 2013 17:29
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Katana Gomai posted:1-0 Regensburg. 1-1 Equalizer. :iamafag:
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Aug 5, 2013 17:56
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I need Sky sometime soon.
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Aug 5, 2013 18:05
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https://mobile.twitter.com/FCBayern/status/364444842153103360/photo/1 Rehden trying the St. Pauli approach.
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Aug 5, 2013 19:17
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The only thing that changed at Dynamo during the last twenty years was scale.
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Aug 6, 2013 11:05
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Oh my, such a beauty from Rib and Rob.
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Aug 9, 2013 19:51
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I think Boateng might get the most playtime out of all field players this season.
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Aug 9, 2013 19:54
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While I'm typing this Mandzu scores a goal. Would have loved to see that actually.
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Aug 9, 2013 19:55
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Prototypical poacher goal, love em.
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Aug 9, 2013 19:59
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Ribery being all Europe's footballer of the year right now.
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Aug 9, 2013 20:03
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Dante is not allowed to pass to Alaba and instead go for Ribery.
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Aug 9, 2013 20:07
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Oh Dante, you and Daniel really love scoring own goals.
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Aug 9, 2013 20:20
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I can't believe Dominguez tried handling the ball twice in short order. Also Alaba 
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Aug 9, 2013 21:07
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Adulterous Hitler posted:One of the most entertaining opening matches I have ever seen. Gustl is both not up to the usual training level and probably leaving the club soon.
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Aug 9, 2013 21:16
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The 6 in Peps system acts as switch center back, so it's cool.
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Aug 9, 2013 21:23
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The Natural posted:The first one wasn't even a penalty never mind a yellow card. His arms were down and the ball bounced up onto his hand. His arm went directly to the ball.
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Aug 10, 2013 00:20
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Welp, Wolfsburg down to 9 men now, Arnold got himself sent off for a reckless challenge 33 minutes in while Klose saw his second yellow now for holding Diouf like a doting parent.
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Aug 10, 2013 15:43
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I heard loud chanting from outside, must've been Nürnberg drawing with Hoffenheim.
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Aug 10, 2013 15:46
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What the hell is Frankfurt doing in midfield? I thought you guys were supposed to work for your own team.
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Aug 10, 2013 15:51
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Katana Gomai posted:I'm glad Bender scored. Löw needs to gently caress off like yesterday though. Agreed, the team has not developed at all beyond 2010, which is really unfortunate.
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Aug 14, 2013 21:47
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Löw is utter genius when compared to the likes of Klinsmann.
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Aug 16, 2013 12:58
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Klinsmanns idea of football is very basic and never goes beyond 'LOTSA FITNESS' and 'PLAY HOOFBALL'. Löw was the brains behind it all, the only 'combination' here was the fitness.
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Aug 16, 2013 13:07
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That's mainly because of the new manager. They might or might not improve just in time to place fourth and get another one.
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Aug 17, 2013 13:01
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