DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

"We didn't need a website in 1975 and WE DON'T NEED ONE NOW" *slams down phone*

ok dude I was calling about your scheduled healthcheck but whatever

Bitesize posted:

I overheard a colleague give this great advice to a user:

"I recommend you don't use a password on your home PC's account, because then no one can RDP into it!"

Needless to say he had never heard of UAC when he started here either.

DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

"Computers do exactly what you tell them to do"

peak debt posted:

I had Dell replace a laptop someone's kid had drawn all over (and into) with fingerpaint under their "anything goes" insurance.


One guy I worked with knocked a radio station with ~500k listeners offline for two hours because he fooled around in the file permissions of the drive the songs were stored in.

Oyster posted:

It had been, yes. Took me about a half hour to get there with a new fuser, but the smell of melting electronics still permeated the place. Took three days to get and install all the parts that had been damaged.

m.hache posted:

I'm looking to move our servers outside the building, into a Data center. More or less a P2V then use some Data center to host poo poo.

HUGE SPACEKABLOOIE posted:

God help us is right. Yesterday I ran into a 120Gb Entourage profile. On top of that she had a stack of CDs with emails dating back to 1996 that she wanted imported into Outlook 2011.

Collateral Damage posted:

This is why you set up a service user account for each service that needs domain rights.

"The" domain admin? Don't you have individual admin accounts?

pr0digal posted:

Information System Security Officer/Cyber Security Architect Team Lead according to the resume.

Part of me wants to have him come in for an interview but I don't think HR will let me.

n3rdal3rt posted:

Because no one in this very thread ever talks about having to work on 15-20 year old hardware or software even though there are newer and better options.

m.hache posted:

"Let me go get my stuff in the server room quickly"

*Puts sandwich between rack servers*

"Have fun!"

Thanks Ants posted:

What about the people who buy the poo poo-tier bottom of the rung service and then complain how much money their business is losing by it not working?

jim truds posted:

Yeah, you are buying your bosses Christmas presents. There is no way that is your responsibility no matter the size of the shop.

m.hache posted:

skooky posted:

Can I just say, from my experience working for a hardware vendor, Microsoft are probably the absolute worst at conf calls.

It's pretty much -

What are you gonna do about it if it's not fixed? Not use Windows?

The barest of effort goes into working on any cases

Thankfully most of my work is internal or working with VMware

neogeo0823 posted:

That's pretty much every single job I held previour to this one. Here, I am getting paid a bit below average, but I am also up for a raise, and just need to find the time to talk to my manager about it. It's been kinda hectic the last couple weeks, so I'll wanna try maybe next week, since the holidays will be over.

Today, a call came in. The owner of the company lives in an obscenely rich neighborhood full of mcmansions. Like, one place about a block down from him literally looks like they took two fancy brick houses and joined them together with half of a brick house in the middle. It literally has two front doors, on two separate sections of the house. Think like the Mcallister house from Home Alone 1, add some extra yard space and a separate garage, and you're starting to get there.

Anyway, said owner is on vacation out of the country until next week.I guess one of the owner's daughters is house-sitting while he's away, she called him all frantic because some dumb kids egged his house, and she didn't know what to do. He called my manager, who asked me to go over there and clean the egg up. In his defense, he actually was swamped with 5 different things he had to get done today, and I didn't actually have anything important to do. Also, I was getting paid for this, and it's a 5 minute drive from the office.

So I get there with a bucket of warm water, some 409, and a scouring sponge, expecting some huge mess of egged up window screens, protein stained wood doors, and milky glass panes. Instead, it appears as though whatever kids did this dragged his welcome mat over to the driveway and got it with 3 or 4 eggs, then from that spot tried to egg his door. They missed the door entirely, instead landing 3 shots on the steps leading up to it. There was also 1 egg thrown at a window to the side of the door, which missed that and hit the window sill.

The problems though, are thus: Everything about this house, except for the door and window frames, is made of extremely porous brick. It is also ~20 degrees outside, and the egg is firmly frozen by the time I get there. I begin making a token effort to scrub the egg off the steps nearest the door, when I find a bucket full of cold water, some kitchen gloves, a hand towel, and a spatula with some frozen egg on it sitting behind a potted plant next to the door. I guess the owner told his daughter to go scrape up the egg until someone could get there.

At least she tried? vv

I ended up scrubbing for a few minutes before taking pictures to forward to the owner and calling it a day. He's gonna have to suck it up till spring, then go at this with a wire brush and some elbow grease. The egg isn't very noticeable, anyway.

Entropic posted:

I also love 2013 for forcing you to integrate it with a Microsoft Account, which sucks if you're installing it on behalf of someone else and you have to make an account for them, with username and pw they will file away and then completely forget the existence of when it comes time for a reinstall.

An Angry Bug posted:

DD-WRT on a $30 LinkSys is being suggested in a meeting to "perform like a $1000 router." Not technical myself, but this is setting off alarm bells. Confirm?

MJP posted:

I should probably look into this while I'm young. My employer does an FSA, which has been a godsend for me since my wife came down with gastroparesis. Plus it reduces taxable income, yay.

Does any old bank do an HSA or should I be talking to a specialist? Or is it employer-offered only?

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Best one we have here is a Samantha Lutz, email is slutz@. Always got a giggle out of that one.

Several tickets came in (5+) for new hires who both accepted and start today. Was told to OMG DROP EVERYTHING and get started on them right away. Which would mean I would have to drop the last three fires they dumped on me. So....

larchesdanrew posted:

I had a coworker email me for over two months about setting up email on her phone. Kept telling her to bring it to me. She kept emailing. Finally, the GM comes bitching about how she told him I was ignoring her and refused to set up her email.

I showed him our email correspondence and pointed out that she hadn't physically been in this building for the entire two months, so how exactly was I supposed to do it?

I get an apology and she gets written up for lying. Feels good, man.

hihifellow posted:

I mean now it sounds like hell but printers don't scream at you and take active pleasure in degrading you.

m.hache posted:

"Oh btw, I put my back out doing it. See you in 3 weeks. Paid leave of course"

Bhodi posted:

Ah jeez, the mail server got wet. Tragic

Galler posted:

Every printer is in pieces and also on fire. I have no idea how that happened. I'm not good with equipment moving or moving equipment.

Nemo2342 posted:

I'm not actually a developer; my job is to sit between the users and the actual programmer so he can get work done without being hounded by the user base. I get to handle user training/setup, Q&A testing, vetting feature requests/bugs before sending them to the programmer, and basically being the help desk for all the day to day problems/questions users get.

I generally get along with our full-time IT staff, but the temporary ones we bring in for the summer can be really hit or miss. We don't have a lot of strict requirements for those jobs as they're basically doing grunt work (install programs, set up PCs, etc) so it's always a crapshoot as to how much actual IT knowledge they have. That in itself isn't bad; I can respect a guy who says "I don't know, but I'll find out" (that's how I figure things out too) but the last one had a really bad habit of both being 1) wrong and 2) certain that he was correct.

Volmarias posted:

The closest was an impromptu speech at a company gathering where the head of finance told us that development shouldn't make any bugs, because that's expensive.

Renegret posted:

I'd like to work for TWC. The bar is set too low to fail. You could do nothing all day and still be a completely average employee.

Japanese Dating Sim posted:

This all reminds me that I haven't watched John Mcafee's "How to Uninstall McAfee Antivirus" in a few months.

WhoNeedsAName posted:

Our T1s have one of those too but have taken it upon themselves to completly ignore it

m.hache posted:

So you pretty much scripted your helpdesk.

Awesome.

Potato Salad posted:

This is my excuse the next time my supervisor overhears a calm, steady stream of filth coming from my desk.

Japanese Dating Sim posted:

gently caress. I'm in my office with the door closed eating my lunch, and one of the non-IT employees here just walked by our area's front desk, past our admin assistant (who is very good at stopping people 99% of the time) and knocked on my door and immediately tried to open it. Luckily it was locked. There's a view window in my door so he could see me in here... my boss came out and immediately stopped him and went to help him with whatever stupid problem he's having now, which probably involves turning his monitor back on or something.



Edit - Oops, wrong thread. Oh well.

Agrikk posted:

This is my favorite part of this story. For some reason it conveys such an ennui over the situation. I immediately flashed to the scene in Pulp Fiction where Lance gives the phone this look of sublime irritation for interrupting his cereal-and-milk feast.

m.hache posted:

I randomly get CC'ed into emails like this:

"Hey m.hache, can you provide them with high quality vector images of our logos?"

Uh yeah, let me just magically generate vector files for our logos'. I must have forgot that section of my resume that said "Graphic Design".

I've also have seen my boss take our logo in paint, expand it and send that thinking it would be higher quality. Made me laugh.

Eldercain posted:

Maybe I'm just completely embittered, but when I hear a lot of that stuff that you KNOW someone at a call center is faking, it just makes me feel like I'm speaken to a completely broken down human. The best (and most productive) calls I've ever had have been pretty casual sounding because I try to joke around a little with people I interact with, especially if their job is to talk to the public all day. The public are largely terds to anyone who is the face of the business they interact with and I feel bad, as should anyone who's ever had a job where they do that exact thing.

Then again I'm not a cranky old rich guy with tons of purchasing power so I guess gratz on being in the position to punch down HR guy

m.hache posted:

Ha, where I worked we couldn't say "Issue" because that set off one of our managers.

socialsecurity posted:

Learn Group Policy if you are going to admin Windows Networks.

Crowley posted:

and hide a flask or two in them.

Fake edit: Or a gun (You pick if it contains one or multiple rounds)